Hey Guys,

Been a fortnight since my last write up, would of posted sooner but work seems to be getting in the way. I know my employers pay the bills and that but Christ, be nice to have a few hours to myself. Half term hasn’t helped much either, or the fact we are looking to move house. Anyway on to the important stuff and whats been happening at the Turkish Giants.


In the 1st game since the last update we produced the best performance of my reign here, beating Inter Milan 1-0 away in the San Siro. An early goal from Gonul provided the 3 points finishing well with a low shot past the home keeper. 60 % possession and Inter were unable to test Casilla in the Fenerbache goal with not 1 attempt on target.
INTER MILAN 0 FENERBACHE 1

There was hell on in the following match after we turned up to face Atalanta in the under 21 cup, the lads were in the middle of their warm up when Atalanta strode on to the field minus any youngsters in the team! After a furious argument between the clubs directors in which many cross word were said in languages I don’t understand we decided to go ahead and give the kids a run out anyway, safe in the knowledge a default 3-0 win would be awarded after it, and the kids done good. Despite falling behind to an early Mehmedi goal we had to withstand some heavy pressure but the youngsters showed great fight and pulled level when Crysan finished after good work from Poulsen. The 2nd half followed the same pattern but again we stood firm and held out for a 1-1 draw. We scored from our only shot on target but the bairns deserved that.
ATALANTA 1 FENERBACHE 1. FENERBACHE AWARDED 3-0 WIN BY DEFAULT AFTER THE GAME.

A trip to the Ukraine followed in the 2nd round of the shield against Kiev, Belhanda give the hosts an early lead which lasted barely 60 seconds(a bit like Adam Johnson’s sex life) when Diego levelled after being played in by Ulloa. Kiev regained the lead just before the half hour mark when Rybalka finished well. Kiev wrapped the game up after 69 minutes through Moraes. A disappointing result in a very even game, 50/50 possession, 10 shots each, 4 on target each and both had 6 corners.
DYNAMO KIEV 3 FENERBACHE 1

Another away trip followed as we clocked up more air miles as we travelled to face Liverpool. In truth very little happened in the game of any note with Liverpool shading the match but unable to finish any chances. Defensively we got our 2nd consecutive clean sheet away from home which is a bonus.
LIVERPOOL 0 FENERBACHE 0

The under 21 cup continued when we hosted Chievo at home. It’s fair to say luck escaped us as despite controlling the game and having a vast amount of chances, mainly falling to Maupay who couldn’t score in a brothel with £50 notes wrapped around his bell end, and we were made to pay for not scoring when Doumbia scored for Chievo. More chances came and went for us but Mvogo in the away goal was not to be beaten. Manager Norman Little joking in the media room after that he wanted Mvogo drugs tested such was his performance. Disappointing result.
FENERBACHE 0 CHIEVO VERONA 1

Tonight we welcomed Lyon in the league and just like the night before against Chievo we are just not taking the chance we are creating. Sulejamni put Lyon ahead early in the game before we knew what had hit us. We regained our composure and eventually levelled just before the hour mark through Sow who was restored to the focal point of the attack in a tactical tweak from the boss. 1-1 and 30 minutes to go, crowd was beginning to get behind the lads and their support was repaid when Sow grabbed his 2nd after a lovely weighted through ball from Callejon 2-1 and high hopes for the 3 points. Those hopes lasted 2 minutes when Haris Vuckic pounced to earn the French side a share of the points, probably a fair result. After the game Norman Little was disappointed after seeing his side miss chance after chance, Lyon certainly more clinical after scoring twice from just 3 shots on target, although they did contribute to a fine game and the draw was well earned.
FENERBACHE 2 LYON 2

Now for my take on the real life action of late starting with another piss poor showing on the road from Newcastle going down with barely a fight 5-1 at Chelsea. Just how we are meant to stay up with our away form is worrying, 4 of our next 6 are away from home so it puts massive pressure on already huge home games with Bournemouth and Sunderland. McClaren seems out of his depth but with a week already passed since Chelsea I don’t see him going away anytime soon. Tickets arrived yesterday for Stoke which is our next game, given we probably will get stuffed, any suggestions on how to have a fun time in Stoke on a cold Wednesday night will be greatly accepted.
Title race still looks wide open, Arsenal needed that win against Leicester, I felt for Leicester as they would imo of went on to win the league if they had held on but now just 2 points separate the top 3. Man City seem to have fell apart since the Pep confirmation, maybe concentrating on the Champions League I don’t know. Sunderland give themselves a massive chance to stay up after putting all the bad press to one side about Johnson with a deserved win against a poor Man United side who Van Gaal is surely a dead man walking. Don’t think Jose is what they need mind but he always has that bounce factor at clubs with instant success before getting in t problems in the 3rd year.

Speaking of Sunderland I’m going to give my 2 pennies worth on Johnson, he really is a cunt isn’t he? He properly embarrassed Sunderland(a club who I don’t have time for but are generally a well run club) all it seems for financial benefit. If he had admitted to what he pleaded guilty to in court last year when the charges were pressed against him he would of been sacked, instead he lied and has been paid £60k a week for the last year. Disgusting that he put the club who does a lot right off the field in that position who morally couldn’t take a stance till facts were out.

That’s all for tonight, hopefully issue 3 of my round up won’t be as long in coming.

Here we have a look at what has been happening at Upton park since Nicky Thomson has been in charge of West Ham United or Divided.

Going back to last season West Ham announce there next manager with only 13 games to go and sitting bottom of division 3 and 6 points of 19th and 12 points from safety. After only amassing a grand total of 15 points in 28 games. So the West Ham board and some external help from Mr Frank Hirst, they come up with Nicky the saviour to try and get them out of relegation.



Life started brightly under the new regime and before long West Ham were slowly catching up with the pack, thanks to a couple of new signings mainly Andreas Bjelland, Herrera Michel and Steven Naismith. But the turning point was the home game against Ajax who at the time were 19th. A win for the Hammers would mean level with Ajax . A lose and that would be the final nail in the coffin and bring the hammer down on there season. Losing 2-0 which meant they were all but down. Ajax kicked on from here and stayed up. Mr Thomson had this to say “Would like to congratulate them on that jammy b*****ds”.

So pre season saw something different with the weather in the UK be raining ( like that is new) most teams around the league went to warmer climates. Not what Nicky done he flew them to the Northern parts of Canada and had them training at -20 most days. For what reason nobody knows other than Mr Thomson. Pre season games had them clock up the miles games in Holland, Germany, Brazil and England. Everything looked promising as they were win 3, draw 2 and lost 0.

So the new season had arrived with a fresh start and new hope plus a new league. With two draws in the opening two games it was still undefeated. Not for much longer five back to back defeats put them at the foot of the table for a second time. It was in this three game stretch that a new training regime or punishment ( call it what you want) was introduced. There were complaints put in against West Ham for the floodlights still being on well into the night even after the fans had left. Footage of CCTV at Upton Park has been put on YouTube which shows the team training after the fans leave and doing laps round the pitch. When the clips started to appear on the internet Mr Thomson had this to say " We have an agreement between the players and I that for every goal they concede they do laps for an hour and for every goal they score its reduced by half an hour."
In this period some of the board members were not wanting to be relegated for a second season they started looking for a new manager and had identified one and were in advanced talks with the chairman, but the chairman wanted to give Mr Thomson a little more time to turn it around.(the source I have received this information had said that it was another manager in the league, but could not say which manager it was) This had some effect as the next game they win 2-0 meaning the win there first game and more importantly the players did have to do laps. Sadly at this point West Ham were out of shield cup and when the team was playing Malaga after the game Mr Thomson had a warning issued to him about his behaviour on the touchline after having an altercation with the fourth official. Then next to games brought draws followed by two wins and more importantly put them out of the relegation zone. So the team were only doing laps for an hour at most in this time. Then Thursday game against Levante UD saw them beating West Ham 2-0, in a game the chance just didn’t go there way and to top it off Mr Thomson was sent to the stands after shouting abuse at the linesman for not wearing his glasses after not noticing that Clinton N’jie was the only person in the West Ham half when he received the ball. So Mr Thomson will have to wait till Tuesday to find out what sort of punishment will be issued to him by the FA.

It have been very eventful 28 games for West Ham with a lot of downs but with some ups and with Mr Thomson in charge this will be some rollercoaster the Hammer fans are on and they have a front row seat. We will have the next instalment of ‘Under the Hammer’ next week with game reviews and stories. So thanks for reading and see you next week from your host Timmy Mallet.

Good afternoon guys and welcome to another of the fortnightly Thursday blog series where we have a mixture of real life in the Kinnear household and then life in the Top 100 as manager of Liverpool FC.
It’s been all go in the Kinnear household recently with the biggest news being that my wife, Alison and the elder daughter, Elise are both pregnant. No, I am only joking, they are not really pregnant.

They have, however, with the summer holiday to Bulgaria in their thoughts, decided to have a 247th attempt at going on a diet to lose weight for the said holiday. Their attempts usually start on a Monday but by time takeaway night arrives on a Friday they have given up. You just have to mention Chicken Curry from Capital Chinese takeaway and Elise collapses to the floor in tears before giving up her diet 60 seconds later. Alison, meanwhile, has given up by the Tuesday. This time they are both being serious about it and to my surprise they are actually giving it a good go. They joined Slimmer’s or Slimming World or whatever it’s called and have now joined a gym. They have their own recipes and the only argument is over who will cook it each night. A couple of the meals look quite good and I actually joined them in having sticky chicken last Sunday. It was yummy. I have even played my part in encouraging them and I have promised as long as they don’t put on any weight, I will pay half their gym membership, which will cost me about £50 per month. On Tuesday there, they had their second weigh in since the start of the diet and in total, Alison has already lost 1/2 a stone and Elise has lost 4 pounds. Elise actually lost 4 pounds the first week but stayed the same this week. It didn’t take long for her to admit that when she went out with her friend Nicole on Saturday night, she drank her own bodyweight in Vodka and rounded it off with a Kebab. Oh dear, she was just one pound in the wrong direction from paying a full months membership in the gym haha.

While we are on the subject of the gym, Alison had said to me that I should come now and then even if it was just to use the sauna and the pool etc. I promised I would even if it was just to keep her company. My days of the treadmill and stuff are behind me but the sound of the sauna and even the pool, although I swim like a slab of concrete, was quite appealing. Last Sunday was scheduled for one of they days. She had asked me on the Wednesday if I would come on the Sunday and I said yes, probably just to keep the peace. I had nothing arranged for the Sunday so why not. I was lying in bed Saturday night watching TV and an advert came on for the Sunday footy. Arsenal v Leicester, Aston Villa v Liverpool, Manchester City v Tottenham Hotspur it exclaimed. One after the other. I definitely caught my attention. Three good games I thought. At that moment the wife came to bed and of course mentioned the gym for the next day. BASTARRRRRRDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!! was the thought that entered my head. Of course dear, I am looking forward to it (I snarled). Are we going in the morning?, I said hopefully. ‘No, Elise is out tonight (drinking her own bodyweight in vodka apparently) and will not get up until lunchtime. Aaaah perfect, nobody said ever. Fast forward to Sunday morning and how nice it was to get a long lie so the wife thought. To be fair, since I was coming to the gym with her, she got up and made my breakfast. I needed some sort of perk so that would do it. Elise gets out her bed for some breakfast and my other daughter, Janene, on a day off from competition, informs me that she is also going to the gym. Ok I said as the advert for the three games appeared on the TV again, mocking me. What the fuck are you smiling at Kamara, as Goals on Sunday came on. Janene also proudly announces her friend, Joanne, will be going as well. Great, there is now a gang. I ate my breakfast, average standard, had better, had worse before Alison appears to get ready for the gym, but with a rather sheepish look on her face. What’s up? I said. She looked at me and said that Joanne’s mum, Lesley would like to go to the gym. I thought, oh why not, every other person we know is going. I said ok what’s wrong with that? Alison said, well we can only take three in as guests so would you mind not going? FUCKING JACKPOT!!!!!! Are you kidding me??? Have I fell asleep again and I am dreaming? Putting on my disappointed face, I said no of course not. You know I am always first to give up my space on anything so someone else can go. Always thinking of others, I am. Ya beauty. Not laughing so much now Kamara, are you. So, 20 minutes later, they were off to the gym and Arsenal v Leicester was on the box as I lay in bed with Bet365 open on my laptop. Heaven on a Sunday. I will go at some point but I wont be so hasty in saying yes until I see what games are on the telly.
Janene and her boyfriend Ross/Russ/Shrek are still going and it appears going quite well. It was, of course, Valentine’s Day on Sunday and to his credit, a dozen red roses arrived at the door that morning. No way is he getting round me that way I thought before realising they were for Janene. He also took her out for dinner that night and had got her a new pair of trainers and a nice perfume. Fucking hell, she got more for Valentine’s Day than I did for Christmas. I am beginning to come round to the fact that she is 18yo and not my baby girl anymore and that I should maybe make an effort to get to know the boyfriend. Elise always interrogates me on why I don’t accept him when I had accepted her boyfriend with no problem. In fact I had got on really well with her boyfriend, Alistair, and he even came on holiday with us. I just say to her that I thought she was more mature and ready for boyfriends and sex etc while Janene was not. I still don’t think Janene is ready for sex and it’s hard to get my head round that even though she tells me he hasn’t even tried to have a little grope of her boob (what is wrong with him, is he gay?) she could be just too worried to tell me otherwise. I have promised to make an effort now but only after I have a talk with him first. I want to know his background and want to ask him just how much he likes Janene. It’s something I have to do as I don’t trust teenage boys. I was one myself and I know the thoughts that are in the head. Also, I get so many teenage boys on the bus and every one of them is an arsehole, no offence to any managers that are still teenagers.
This Saturday, we are moving one of the horses to a new yard. Elise’s horse, Riz, is stabled about 15 miles away and it is costing her a fortune in fuel so we found a stables that is much closer and also cheaper livery so it makes sense. I will actually be working but Alison and Elise will move him. We have a horse lorry so it shouldn’t take too long. Janene’s horse is stabled at Ingliston Country Club but since that is where she work’s as the professional’s groom, the livery is cheap and she also gets to ride her every day.


So, that’s the main events over the last couple of weeks although Alison was taken to hospital yesterday after suffering an asthma attack but she is ok and is just taking the couple of days in hospital for a rest and will get out tomorrow (Friday).

It’s been mixed fortunes at Anfield lately with last Thursday’s 3-1 win over Manchester City being cancelled out by the 4-2 defeat at Bayern Munich. Both results were expected really but we strive to improve things by working harder on the training pitch and taking that hard work into match day. Five goals scored in two games is a good return in anyone’s books but the five goals conceded shows that we still have a lot of work to do defensively, although to be fair, Bayern are a very good team and the fact that we were still very much in the game for 78min augers well for the future. The good news is that Daniel Sturridge is on top form and he scored four of the five goals, albeit two being penalties. He is showing plenty of enthusiasm and really wants to lead by example in the striker’s role. He knows that players such as Destro and Gabbiadini are keeping the pressure on him to play well and this can only be good for the club.
During the week we travelled to Leicester in the Top 100 Shield and I was delighted with the performance that gave us a 2-0 win. Destro grabbed a goal and Benteke scored the other. Benteke has been slightly out of favour recently and I make no secret of the fact that we have tried to move him on. He knows this and has been to see me to ask if he can still have a future at Anfield. I really wanted to say ‘yes, if you buckle down and show the form you are capable of’ but I couldn’t because I know that if a good offer came in for him then he would be on his way. This is proven by the fact that we are currently in negotiations with a club that could see Benteke leave along with Lovern with a top class international midfielder coming to Anfield. He shall remain nameless at the moment but he has a vast amount of experience and I feel would link up well with Oscar and Lucas in the centre of midfield.
While we are still involved in the Top 100 Cup and the Top 100 Shield, the draws have not been kind to us and I will tell you why. Now, I am not a superstitious manager. I don’t have to cut the head of a chicken before the game or strangle a cock, although Fannie Licker has offered to strangle my cock for me, an offer that I had to turn down due to the fact I already have a similar arrangement with Yolanda Squatpump. Back to the story. As I said, I am not superstitious, but I do seem to have a problem when I play against teams that start with an A. I have played two sides in the league that fit that description, Atletico Madrid and AC Milan. Both ended in defeat and now in the domestic trophies we have drawn AS Roma away in the Cup and Arsenal away in the Shield. The A curse has to be broken because I said to the team when I first arrived that I wanted to win a trophy this season and while I am realistic enough that we won’t win the league, I believe that the Cup or the Shield can be won. Watch this space.
Strange incident the other day when Sebastian Rode came into the office to tell us his car had bricks instead of wheels. Welcome to Liverpool Sebastian haha. We said we would investigate and decided to bring the police into it. The strange thing was that the police said this had been happening all over the city and it is believed to be linked to a criminal organisation that ships alloy wheels to Sao Paulo in Brazil.



Apparently, years ago, it was hub caps that always seemed to go missing but they had now moved on to alloys. Then one of the detectives mentioned a name that made me freeze. They said they were looking into the strange appointment of a manager called Josh McMillan, who despite having absolutely no links to Brazil, had landed the Sao Paulo job. It made me freeze as I knew Josh from the rebel ARG (Anti Relegation Group) organisation. They used to be a very hostile group and would do anything, even kill so they said, to avoid relegation. They broke up when one member betrayed them and got relegated before giving all their names to the authorities. What was going on now I wondered? As of this moment the investigation is being continued but if things get worse and even more alloy wheels go missing, I think a call to Freddy, Maggie, Thelma, Shaggy and of course Scooby could be in order. Meanwhile, I am waiting on Player 85295 arriving at Anfield for a trial with a view to signing him up as a rent boy for a secret group within the Top 100. It’s all legal of course but members such as Roy Keane shall remain nameless.

Well that’s it for today. I have had to juggle things with hospital visiting and tidying around the house but I have got here in the end.

Next week will be the next Fannie Licker interview although it is uncertain when that will be published. The aim is Thursday but I believe she is getting some sort of implants put in this week again. I am getting to the stage where finding out what implants she is getting is as exciting as finding out who is to be interviewed haha.

Anyway, that’s it from me this week and I would like to thank you all for taking the time to read this article and for helping make the Top 100 blog the success it is.


Ciao

You must listen to the music before moving on…

Gino Kinnearo, the No 1 journalist in SM Top 100 is a curious fellow, often he displays his curiosity on Italian TV where he is usually found lavishly praising his favourite manager in all of history, Stephen Beddows and criticising the SM Top 100 Mafia of Hirst and DP where he reports stories of bribery, deception and deceit so dark with managers such as Gordon Kinnear (Gino’s cousin) and Roy Keane that it makes FIFA’s 2018/2022 organising committee look like a child’s birthday party.

But over the last few days since Milan finally had a day off (he never misses a Milan game) he decided to travel to South America to investigate the curious case of the appointment of one Mr 
Josh McMillan at Sao Paulo.

Good day to you all and welcome to the second of the Fannie Licker interviews with managers from the successful Top 100 world founded by Frank Hirst. The first interview with Mark Phelps was well received as we learned a bit about Mark and also his time in the Top 100. Today, we have the second in the series and we move into Division 3 and the Italian side Sassuolo, managed by Bob ‘Groucho’ Sal. Bob has been an SM player for as long as I can remember and was one of the first managers that I noticed when I became a gold member. He is always a tough opponent, as I am sure you all know, and I always feel I am the underdog when going in to games against him. Anyway, let’s get on and before the interview, here is Bob’s personal profile:




BOB ‘GROUCHO’ SAL - PERSONAL PROFILE

Full Name: Robert «Bob» Saletti
Born: More than half a century ago in Switzerland from Italian parents but I lived practically my whole life in Montreal
Height: 6’1’’ (1,85m)
Marital Status: married
Nickname: Groucho
Favourite Sports teams: American football
Favourite food: pizza
Favourite drink: red wine, whisky
Favourite band/singer: Allman Brothers Band, Frank Zappa, Eric Clapton, Miles Davis
Favourite Colour: green
Favourite animal: dog
Favourite film: Citizen Kane / Apocalypse Now / Seven Samourai / any Buster Keaton movie
Your Car: VW
Best Friend: André whom I’ve known for four decades, with sports and music as centrepieces of our relationship
What phone do you have: none
Best sport to watch: american football (if you forget the ads which, I agree, is hard to do),
What scares you most: losing my memory
Phone, iPad or laptop to play SM: Macbook pro
Embarrassing moment: There were quite a few of thoses I must say. Here’s one I can tell : being late at the hospital to pick up my wife after she had a miscarriage, the reason being I watched the 1994 World Cup final between Italy and Brazil up until the end and since the game was decided by penalties… And Italy lost, a real bad day at the office overall!
Ever won anything on the lottery : I don’t play games when I don’t have a reasonable chance to win.
If you could have any job in the world what would it be: one that gives me time to do other things ! Seriously… jazz musician.
Who would you most like to meet (dead or alive): Barack Obama
If you could attend any sporting event in the world what would it be: the World Cup Final or the Super Bowl… with my son.


Interview:

Good afternoon, I’m Fannie Licker and this is the second in my series of interviews with Top 100 managers. This week I have been in hospital to have implants put in my bum. The operation was a success and below you can see how I now look, well, below. I am very happy and you must admit it is very impressive. I also don’t need a cushion for my seat anymore since I now have a built in cushion for my own seat (giggle),


So on to today’s interview and I have with me a guy who has had a great first season with his club Sassuolo, winning promotion from Division 4 and being a good egg overall. It is Bob ‘Groucho’ Sal.


FL: Welcome Bob, you have been in charge of Sassuolo for 54 games now and have already won promotion from Division 4 in your first season. Has your time in charge went as you expected it to go or do you feel you are overachieving?

BS: Last season was fantastic as we battled it out all season with Hamburg and Besiktas only for us to lose the title by one point. Overachieving ? Let me put it that way : we didn’t overachieve, we were just better than everybody thought we were !


FL:  Italy are well represented in the Top 100 with Sassuolo probably being the least known. How do you feel about all the publicity sides like AC Milan, Juventus and Inter Milan get while Sassuolo are virtually ignored? Does this aggrieve you?

BS: Not aggrieved at all, they deserve it based on their illustrious past. Anyway I like being the underdog. The more overlooked we are, the better we feel. The day a city of barely 50,000 people (half the people of Sassuolo can have a seat at Mapei Stadium!) will compete with the likes of AC Milan and Juve would mark a colossal achievement. This day may be not that far away although our small budget will always impede us to some extent.



FL: With the success you had in Season 1, do you worry that the board and most certainly the fans expect to have this success continually and that if the standard drops they will be expecting your head on the chopping block? 

BS: Yes, expectations are higher this season and we’ll be hard-pressed to reproduce last year’s performance… and we haven’t so far. As long the players play hard though, I won’t complain and neither should the fans. As far as chairman Gino Corleone is concerned, that might be another story though


FL: When we look at your squad, there are no real star players but one thing that is noticeable is that the squad seems top heavy with defenders. Does this represent the Sassuolo style of play or is there any particular reason for this?

BS: That’s the team I inherited. We play mostly 5-3-2 or 5-2-3 as these formations fit our personal, and since we have success with it… We made minimal changes since I’ve have been in charge, mostly getting younger players to give some competition to our veteran ones. I believe in ‘conceptual continuity’ as my mentor Francesco Zappa used to say.


FL: As already said, there are no real stars in your squad. Is this deliberate? Who in your squad would you say was the most inspirational to the rest of the squad and is there anyone that, if injured, would affect the club’s form?

BS: Well, we had one star –Berardi- and we traded him for two very good players (Zaza and Durm) that made us better and more balanced, that tells you the story. We are as team-oriented as a team can be. Sometimes defying the odds but so be it. Our inspirational leader is certainly our savvy keeper Consigli who’s been with the team for a while. We probably could not afford to lose him to injury as we are a little thin at the position. The underrated Paolo Cannavaro at the back and Francesco Magnanelli in midfield have also been great leaders. Versatile fullback Sime Vrsaljko has been playing tremendous football and has been consequently the target of some other teams but we refuse to let him go.



FL: It’s been a difficult start to the season and you have lost 4 of your last 5 league games. What is the target for the season and have you found it much tougher than you expected in the higher league?

BS: Sadly we’re already out of the Cup and the Shield competitions, so we’ll concentrate on the Top 100 season and the Youth Cup. There’s a lot of football to be played. As we speak, we’re a middle of the pack team but I feel confident about our chances to move up the ladder and be near summit at the end. We’re still aiming promotion to Division 2 this season, but next season is probably more realistic. Anyway, we have our work cut off for us as the Top 100 league is best in the world and any division is a great challenge.


FL; Is there anyone in your youth squad that you think we should keep an eye on for the future?

BS: Certainly our two young African midfielders Godfred Donsah and Naby Keita. The Guinean Keita could become a starter on a first team pretty soon.


FL: Finally Bob, if you could manage any club in the Top 100, who would you choose and why?

BS: Since my parents were born in Cremona near Milano, AC Milan and Internazionale would have been natural landing spots in my career. Sassuolo is a mere 2 hours drive away from Milano, so I still feel somewhat at home. Getting the better of those Milan teams will be very special when it happens… and it should come sooner than later!

FL: Thanks Bob and good luck for the season


So, that’s it for interview number two and I thought Bob gave good honest answers and is definitely a good intelligent manager who knows what he wants to do and believes in his capabilities of being able to deliver.
Next week is the Thursday Blog and then I will be back the following week with the next in the interview series but who will be my next subject I will decide that over the next couple of days. Look out for a PM in your mailbox as it might be you.

Thank you for taking the time to read.

Slaters

Top Youth Cup reporter, Rolf Saville-Hall apologised for not updating the table last night as he had been frantically trying to finish fitting his new carpet in time for watching the 16x Youth Cup matches simultaneously on BT Sport.




Here is a brief overview.

Of the 32 teams who played we had TWO side who forgot to SET their sides.

Atalanta BC (Sean Cass)
FC Schalke 04 (Sameer Arshad)

As such they were both given automatic 3-0 defeats which is reflected in the updated Group Tables on the blog pages.

So onto a few select results and the Youth Cup TOTW:

Group A: A game between Porto and Juventus ended 0-0, to a fan expecting to be entertained, look away now, it was a match of tactical fighting. With the two manager both so determined not to concede that they forgot to attack. Villareal also won again to lead Group A.

Group C: Lokomotiv Moscow are surely the surprise side so far having maximum points from their two games, the Putin backed side stunned AS Monaco to win 4-3 in France, with Monaco struggling somewhat to get anywhere.

Group D: Praise to another Russian side as CSKA Moscow also have maximum points. Rolf Saville-Hall  has raised concerns that the success of the Russian sides is no coincidence and perhaps a British anti-doping team should be sent to Moscow and has urged Group Administrators to carefully check the passports of these club’s players to ensure their eligibility.

Group E: Newcastle have also started well and will be confident of progressing to the later stages of the competition after beating Milan 3-1.

Group F: Roy Keane continues to go on about how his side will win anything and his kids finally did win last night to close the game on Group F pacesetters, Leverkusen, led by Noisy who surely have one foot in the knock-out stages already after 9 points from 9.

Group H: This group is exceptionally tight and I wouldnt like to call who will get out of here, Benfica finally got off the mark after a 2-1 win against Chelsea.

Rolf Saville-Hall has this morning appointed Adam Johnson as responsible for picking the Youth Cup TOTW..

Adam Johnson said that is always tough to pick a TOTW but here is mine with O.OŽEGOVIĆ being the stand-out inclusion with a hat-trick in Monaco.

GK: G MARCHEGIANI (AC Milan)
CD:  C MARQUINHOS (Paris SG)
CD: A LAPORTE (Man Utd)
CD: D RUGANI (Juventus)
DCM: E BAILLY (Villarreal)
RM: A BRUMA (Udinese)
CM: H ÇALHANOĞLU (Bayer Leverkusen)
CM: M MEYER  (CSKA Moscow)
LM: G DEULOFEU (Real Madrid)
CF: A MITROVIĆ (Newcastle United)
CF: O.OŽEGOVIĆ (Lokomotiv Moscow)

Real Madrid manager Roy Keane has stirred up controversy once again, this time with a withering attack on fellow Spanish side Levante.

When discussing the proposed new national cup competitions, Keane said to the press “So let’s say in Spain, at the mo there is only Real Madrid and Levante. So when I win 8 nil, does that mean Real win the Spanish cup?

Levante boss Parfitt responded thus….



“Firstly, Roy Keane needs to understand that football is a team game. It’s not when I win 8 nil, it’s when WE win 8 nil. Secondly, Keane need only look at the youth cup match last week. He had all of his Billy big Ball’s kids on show, and what happened? A lad we paid Wolves £300k for scored twice and made them look like mugs. A goalkeeper we got cheap off Stuttgart put in a 10/10 performance. The defence & midfield put in a shift and didnt give Real a moment’s piece. The front man, Dani Romera, caused their defence countless headaches. If Keane feels that it is that easy, I’d invite him around to my office for a friendly chat after the youth match at our place. I think we all know how that will end up though.

Keane might be doing ok at the moment, but the fact is, even neil Warnock would struggle not to win the league with that squad. Anybody can take a bunch of superstars and win it all. Here at Levante though, we do it the hard way. One day, I will make this club the biggest club in Spain. The biggest club in Europe, the biggest, most successful club in all of Top 100. Keane, keep an eye out over your shoulder, we are coming for you……..”

After the last night’s close run defeat to Liverpool, Genoa head coach Frank Hirst was asked if there was any truth in the rumours linking his ‘Capitano’, Mattia Perin to Bayern Munich.
Hirst had this to say, “Mattia is Genoa through and through, he is my first choice goalkeeper and captain and will be for a long long time. Yes, Bayern have had Officials at each of our last games and it has been very offputting, especially when the man with the fake glasses and moustache combo blew his vuvuzela at Anfield last night, just as Campana took his shot, which totally put off Perin between the sticks. Gursimran tried to offer me that Pan faced calamity, Simon Mignolet in a deal for Perin, is the guy serious!!??"

Hirst laughs off comments made by Brar regarding Perin

Recently Top 100 correspondent Fanny Licker travelled to Moscow to catch up with Lokomotiv Moskva manager Greg Owen to see how Season 2 has been going after the team gained promotion from Division 3 to Division 2.




Fanny: “How has Season 2 been going for you Greg?"

Greg: “Well, let me start by saying that we were very pleased to get promoted last season. Our fans were celebrating all over Mother Russia”.

“Even the No.1 Loko fan - our esteemed President - got in on the act”.
“But this season has not been good for us. Most of all we are trying to avoid the bounce”.

Fanny: “The bounce?"

Greg: “Yes, the bounce … as demonstrated here by our club physio Anya Neeze”.


Greg: “It’s quite simple, We need to score more goals than the opposition. We are practicing new techniques in our training to help us do this”.

Fanny: “What sort of techniques?"

Greg: “Well there is one that we have learned from Milan that we are practicing. The esteemed Milan manager Stephen Beddows has been to our training ground to teach us how they play the game in Italy. He is teaching our players how to fall over. Then when our physio Anya runs onto the field the opposition will be distracted enough for us to score."


Fanny: “And you think that will be enough?"

Greg: “Well last season teams like Athletic Club, Benfica and Galatasaray needed 46 points to avoid relegation in Division 2. So far this season we have seven points after nine games. So we need almost 40 points from our next 29 games to stay in this division”.

Fanny: “And if you don’t?"

Greg: “Let’s just say that I personally cannot afford that. If we drop back down to Division 3 then the consequences could be very severe. There are stories of how the No.1 Loko fan fired the last manager who let the team be relegated.

Fanny: “So when are you going to start scoring more goals than the opposition?"

Greg: “We have been trying to do that all season so far. But we do have a grudge match coming up against Zenit this weekend which we will be aiming to make the start of a glorious run”.

Fanny: “So you’re confident of beating Zenit?"
Greg: “Confident … well, if you are asking me … I cannot say … confident is not necessarily what I would say …"

At that point the Lokomotiv Moskva club PR minder stepped in to pull manager Greg Owen away saying that he had an urgent meeting with Mr Putin. It remains to be seen whether he can turn around Lokomotiv Moskva’s current poor form. Stay tuned for further updates.

My daughter at The Greatest football ground in the World v Norwich

Persephone with new QPR signing El Khayati

both kids ready to play

Liverpool boss Gordon Kinnear has came out fighting after hearing of his distant cousin, Gino Kinnearo’s remarks after the AC Milan-Liverpool game last night. Kinnear didn’t hold back and blasted Kinnearo with both barrels….



‘Gino Kinnearo, let me tell you about Gino Kinnearo. This half man-half twat is the black sheep of the family. No one likes him because he is a ‘me, me, me’ guy. He has the brain of a goldfish and doesn’t even know how to tie his own laces yet. His real name isn’t even Kinnearo, it’s Smith!!! His father was Graham Smith, the local milkman. His mother, my auntie Jackie, slept with everyone in town. She had to because she is so ugly that she went to the beauticians and it took them 12 hours just to give her a quote. The local peeping tom even asked her to shut her blinds.
Gino Kinnearo is the relative that no one wants to visit. He says I didn’t try to see him when I was I Italy yesterday. Well, that’s a lie because I did go to see him but he was so far up Beddows arse that I only seen his feet. That’s why he didn’t see me. His wife is no oil painting either. She comes from mixed race parents.. Her mum used to run the 100m and her dad ran the 400m. He is the worst journalist in the world. He doesn’t even write for a paper. He lives in his own little world and hangs on to whoever will accept him and that seems to be Beddows at this time. As for his report on last night’s game, it is obvious he is just trying to get into Beddows’ pants. He conveniently forgets to mention that Liverpool only had half a team out and we didn’t expect to get anything from the game. I do admit it was an embarrassing result and to let someone as washed up as Balotelli score twice is shameful. When they come to Anfield we will wipe the floor with them. They relied on the referee giving them the usual favours that Italian teams playing at home always get. The penalty was a joke as Balotelli had to dive 10 metres just to get into the box. De Sciglio’s goal was from 18 yards not the 45 that my half bred cousin reported. Also, what team wins 4-1 and can’t even get a player into the team of the week. Anyway, that’s enough time spent on the greasy haired, monkey fucking, Shane MacGowan lookalike. I am away for a nice massage from Yolanda Squatpump. Slaters.'

Levante have played four games over the course of the last week, in three seperate competitions, and have a record on three wins (one on penalties) and one draw.

The first game on the little mini run was at home to Torino in the Top 100 shield first round. Levante fielded a side of reserves and youth players. Five of the club’s U21 players were up against Torino. One of those youngsters, the exciting Dutchman Bart Ramselaar was the man that made the Levante goal. Setting Ryan Woods up to put the hosts a goal up on 13 mins.

Levante’s poor record of conceding late goals came back to haunt them once more though, with the experienced Jefferson Farfan getting Torino level with 5 to go. Levante wouldnt be denied though, and won the shootout 5 - 3 to make the 2nd round of any knock out competition for the first time. They have been rewarded with a home tie in round two, with Independiente heading to Spain on 16th Feb.

The next game saw Montpellier head to the Ciudad de Valencia. Just over 19,000 were on hand to witness Jean Beausejour score his first game for the club. His strike on 11mins was enough to seal all three points. The Chilean has moved into a more advanced role since the arrival of Adriano from Barcelona, and is settling into it nicely.

The third game in five days saw the U21’s travel to the Bernabeu. Real Madrid boasted the likes of John Stones, Gerard Delofeu, Timo Werner and Deli Ali in their side amongst others. Levante had nowhere near the same experience as their more illustrious opponents, and the youngsters were also in the Bernabeu pressure cooker for the first time.

The players were completely unaffected by things however, and went in front twice, before eventually coming away with a 2 - 2 draw. Jordan Graham, a £300k signing from Wolves, netted both goals, and along with his goal against Leverkusen on the opening night has taken his account to three. He is also the only player to score for the youth team. Bart Ramselaar created one of the goals, adding to his assist for the senior side earlier in the week, and Dani Romero also bagged an assist.

The true star of the show however, was Odisseas Vlachodimos. The youngGerman keeper put in a 10/10 performance, which is the first of the season in any competition, and has now been Levante’s MOTM in both youth fixtures, averaging 9/10 across the two games.

The fourth and final game of the week was last night against Espanyol. Levante won 2 - 1, with Brazillian midfield meastro netting for the first and second time this season. The first was on 2 minutes, before a winner 3 minutes from time to keep up the clubs good recent run.

Chievo Verona (14th) and West Brom (16th) are the next two sides in line for Levante, and with the Spaniards currently sandwiched between them in 15th, a decent return of points from the two games could have them sitting on the fringes of the play offs. After losing the first four, and only picking up 4 points from the first seven games, that would represent a fantastic turnaround.

Levante have also made another signing for the youth team, with Eden and Thorgan Hazard’s younger brother, Kylian, moving from Ujpest in Hungary. He was on the bench against eal, with Parfitt prefering to show faith in the XI that played Leverkusen, but he is sure to get a game at some point in the competition.

If he can produce some moments like this, then he will fast become a fan favouritein Spain.

www.youtube.com/watch

Hi folks,

Providing time allows from now on I will be doing a weekly press release from Fenerbache with an update on how things have gone for us, adding to it I will use my piece to have a talk Newcastle united and my thoughts on Football in general(Premier League mainly but a few thoughts on other stuff as well) so here goes..


Since my debut post on the blog, Fenerbache have played 3 matches with the 1st a daunting away trip to Madrid to face Real and we started on the back foot, Real forcing 2 good saves from Casilla and another chance from Eriksen fired just over. However the Beneabeu was silenced after 12 minutes when Sow played Callejon in and he finished smartly in off the post for a shock lead. The lead lasted till half time and it was clear Madrid were getting edgy, Neymar booked for dissent. Whatever Roy Keane said at half time certainly did the trick as they equalized straight after the break through Sergio Busquets, 1-1 game on. Chances came and went for both sides, Ucan and Souza going close for Fenerbache and Busquets almost grabbing his 2nd if not for the wonderful reactions of Casilla in goal. Casilla was however beaten for a 2nd time when Bale let fly from distance, the ball caught the keeper out of position as it sailed over him. 2-1 to the Spanish Giants and that’s how it stayed till Full Time. A deserved win for Real but no shame in a narrow defeat.
REAL MADRID 2 FENERBACHE 1.

On Saturday in the Youth cup we entertained Atletico Madrid, and after looking at the team sheets we knew we had a tough night in store for us, what a side they can put out at this level, we simply had to pray they had a night off.
The match started slowly whilst both sides figured each other out until Oliver Torres went down the flank and played in Balde who deftly flicked the ball past the keeper, a sublime touch which left the keeper routed as the ball rolled past him. The rest of the half belonged to Madrid and it was role reversal when Balde linked up with Torres just inside the box, Torres turned his marker and drilled a shot into the far corner, 0-2 and a long 2nd half was in prospect for the under dogs. The 2nd half started like the 1st, and in truth not much happened until the 63rd minute when Fenerbache were awarded a free kick just on the edge of the box, Poulsen stepped up and just put his foot straight through the ball and it flew like a missile into the top corner, 1-2 and perhaps Fenerbache had a chance? No it was Madrid who carried on pressing and only the fine performance of Cojocaru in the home goal prevented a bigger defeat. Still plenty of time left in the group for us to turn this around but Madrid will be favourites to retain their youth cup win with the sheer talent available to them.
FENERBACHE 1 ATLETICO MADRID 2

Just 24 hours later Fenerbache on the back of a 3 game winless run in the league welcomed Lazio to the Sukru Saracoglu stadium and the line up for the home side was tweaked from previous weeks to give us a bit more solid platform in the middle of the pitch and our wingers pushed higher up field.
In truth the first half was poor, just the 1 decent chance aside for both teams who also shared a booking each, the players would surely be out to improve 2nd half? The 2nd was a slight improvement but still a poor show, Casilla making a couple decent stops from Biglia and Llorente to keep the game goalless. That’s how it was destined to finish until Fenerbache popped upm with their best move of the game with just minutes remaining on the clock, Potuk danced around a couple of tiring Lazio defenders before squaring to Sow who stroked the ball home from 15 yards. A late winner in a very even game, Both sides having the same amount of shots, shots on target and corners with the home side just shading the possession count. Was it down to the new tactics or not? Who knows, it will be a few weeks before we find out how good they are but hey a win is a win and we will take it.
FENERBACHE 1 SS LAZIO 0.
This result leaves Fenerbache 9th after 9 games with 14 points.

The only transfer deal happening at the minute see’s us allowing Raul Meireles leaving for Hamburg for £5m, the 32 year old was deemed surplus to requirements and the squad is needing to be re shaped.

So on to another weekend of fighting relegation with Newcastle in the Premier League and I would like to thank Tony Pulis and West Brom for being the most inept side I have seen at St James Park in the last few years, and I’ve witnessed a John Carver side for 5 months in that time. Taking nothing away from Newcastle, we played well. In keeping with recent home games(1 defeat in 6 at home now, and that being a last kick of the ball defeat by Everton) and I think we signed well in Jan, Shelvey is a great passer of the ball and Townsend looks decent, gets up and down and means we now attack both flanks rather than the one dimensional play previously. I was delighted to see Mitrovic get the goal, I like him a lot as a player and he has had some harsh words said about him but he will come through this hopefully as his all round game is quite good for a 21 year old. MOTM for me was Cheick Tiote, yeah remember him, who played like the tiote of 4 years ago, he has been linked with a move to China lately but after yesterday it would be idiotic to sell him. He provided the base to allow Shelvey to dictate the game from the middle and it was refreshing to see him get through 95 minutes without a yellow card.
In terms of what this does in terms of keeping us up who knows? We have Chelsea away next Saturday before an 18 day break before Stoke away(which I’m going to) so 2 tough games. We still have Bournemouth, Sunderland, Swansea, Palace to play at home, win them all and that’s us on 36 points..just shy of the magical 40 point mark.

On to the rest of the Premier league action and bloody hell…Leicester are for real aint they? coming out of Liverpool and Man City with 6 points and a +4 gd is major for them. Mahrez is a player, how he slipped under the radar for so long is a mystery. Arsenal were my fancy for the league and they got back to winning ways today at Bournemouth but I feel they have something lacking lately, goals have dried up and they don’t seem as on song with each other as they did early on in the season. Tottenham just keep winning and people still don’t believe them to be challengers but just 5 points off the top they gotta be in with a chance. Man City are far too reliant on Aguero and Silva and badly miss Kompany. Yaya seems to know he will be away at end of season and is hardly helping their cause atm. Costa rescued Chelsea with that late goal against Man United but what was Depay doing at the end before that goal? Surely cost his team 3 points. Liverpool blew a 2 goal lead to Sunderland(TWATS) but it was great to see their fans protest against ticket prices, something needs to be done. I am fully behind the twenty is plenty idea for away fans, these days an away match is a luxury many of us simply can’t do, I have had to cut my away days due to this. On average an away game costs me £125 at least(and bare in mind Newcastle are absolutely shite away from home) and with 3 kids I have money needed elsewhere, Stoke will actually be my 1st away game this season. Just before I go I see the next England manager in waiting(if you believe the southern press which keeps kissing his arse) has just went 8 without a win at Palace, yeah we could of told you’s all that would happen. The man always starts well at club but is then sussed out..West Ham..Southampton..Newcastle and now Palace.

Anyway thanks for reading my bollocks for this week. Issue 2 next week