One step backwards.....

Last season, Levante were relegated after a dreadful season. The playing squad was thin, lacking goals and conceding far too many. It was so bad in fact that Gino Kinnear was moved to call the seasons performance one of his five worst on SMTV.

Now however, things are looking much brighter for the Spanish side. The results are still hit and miss, three games have seen a win, a defeat and a draw, but the performances have been much stronger, and the club have looked competitive in all three league games.



In part, three big signings for the first team squad have helped. Brazilian striker Leandro Damiao signed from German side Leverkusen, AC Milan allowed goalkeeper Jiminez Roberto to head home to Spain, and also saw Ikechi Anya join the club.

 Jordan Ayew came from Stuttgart in time for last nights match. The signing of Ayew came a bit out of the blue after bids for three other midfielders were lodged, and all were promptly ignored for between 6 and 9 days.

The move for the Ghanian happened rather quickly however. The player had signed within about 48hrs of the bid originally being lodged. Levante feel they have perhaps overpaid a touch for Ayew. The fee was £10m along with John Ruddy and young striker Angel Romero. On the other hand though,  a midfielder was wanted, and space was also needed within the squad, so the deal is one that we are comfortable with.

Marcello Trotta has also signed quietly over the weekend. The young Italian joins for a fee of £2m from Cesena. The player is another for the future, and is expected to feature in a few cup games to begin with whilst we look for him to realise some of that potential.

The club would still like to sign a defender, and have had a bid rejected this morning, but it is expected that from here on in, there will be more exits than entrances.

Meet the new boys


Jiminez Roberto - Goalkeeper

Jiménez ROBERTO Photo

Jiminez joins from AC Milan for a fee of £3.5m, and also sees young Dutchman Bart Ramselaar head to Italy. The Spanish custodian was an ever present for Olympiacos in season one of Top 100, 38 appearences and netting 7 MOTM awards. He played 19 times in season two before heading toMilan and promptly being loaned to Espanyol. Whilst in Spain he made 9 appearences, and picked up another 2 MOTM awards. He has immidiately become first choice at Levante, and will be hoping for a longer stay thn he has had at his previous clubs.

Ikechi Anya - Midfield

Ikechi ANYA Photo

Ikechi also joins from AC as a sweetner for allowing the talented Dutchman Ramselaar leave. The Scottish international never made a start, and only one appearence from the bench for Milan after his £2.5m move from Watford. He will also have to be patient at Levante, but will be given an opportunity to impress.

Jordan Ayew - Midfield

Jordan AYEW Photo

Ghanian wide man Ayew is now at his third different Top 100 club, and as with Jiminez Roberto, will be looking for something of a longer term stay. His previous clubs were Aston Villa, and then Stuttgart. He left the Midlands for Germany in a deal that saw Didier Drogba, Emiliano Insua and £5.4m going in the other direction. Jordan will be expected to create chances for the strikersw, and will be expected to get between 5 and 10 goals for himself also.

Leandro Damiao - Striker

Leandro DAMIÃO Photo

Perhaps the most surprising move of all in the pre season was the talented Brazillian striker dropping down to the basement division. Levante have paid £11.7m and also allowed Guilermo Varella to head to Germany to secure the signing. Parfitt was delighted to get the signature, and two goals in three games already suggest that he could be the 15 / 20 goal man that the club have been missing. Leandro is also another player who has had his share of moves already in Top 100, having been on the books at Leverkusen, Santos, and Manchester City prior to heading to Spain.

After the incomings, along with a few youth players, Samuel Eto’o, Aiden McGeady and Adam Szalai are all expected to depart once their transfer bans are up. 

On the pitch, things are looking better. The opening day saw a strong performance, one that Parfitt considers the best one Levante have managed in Top 100 to date, saw them overcome Indipendiente 3 - 1 on the opening day. The next match saw a 1 - 0 defeat to PMW’s Anderlecht in Belgium, and last nice a 1 - 1 draw with Santos was the end result. Last night’s performance wasnt ideal, but last season it is the kind of game which would have been a two or three goal defeat, so to pull the goal back and take a point was very satisfying.

The youth side started off very well this weekend also. A trip to Russia is never easy, but the youngsters returned with all three points after a very professional 4 - 2 win. The big story was Isaac Success’ brace, along with an assist saw him oted MOTM, and it surely cant be too long before the young Nigerian becomes a regular first team starter. There were also goals for Steve Mounie, and Matt Miazga. The young American was last seen in Levante colours recieving a red card towards the end of last season.

The season is long, and there is a lot of football to be played, but all in all Levante are very happy with the start they have made. 




Youth Cup Mini Review - Egos Crash and Top 5 Managers from GD1

“An Embarassment” - Feargal O’Hickey (VFB Stuttgart)

“A total disgrace” - David Piero (Tottenham)

“They have both been taught tonight that they wont just walk into the final.”  Greg Owen (Lokomotiv Moscow)




The Doctor speaking to his assistant Adam Johnson prior to Wednesdays so called "Youth Cup Charity Shield"

DP attending a counselling session after seeing his Youth Cup winners losing 2 Youth Cup matches on the bounce - and he cant see the problem

With both DP and The Doctor (the previous two winners of the Youth Cup) failing to pick up any points last night and both sitting bottom of their respective groups it was a evening where the Youth Cup media (who attended 23 matches in total) could concentrate and find time to consider the "other" managers with smaller egos.

Managers of the evening are:

1. Stephen Beddows (AC Milan), a manager with no go and who regularly visits the island of Lampadusa to coach football to the refugee children and refuses to spend his evenings with Brabara in favour of working on Youth projects in and around Milan led his side to a brillant 4-0 victory against Donetsk. "I am pleased with the start, we have worked hard to build what I believe to be a decent youth side and I hope we can win the group first and foremost."

2. Tom Parfitt (Levante), so often a manager associated with failure, and failure not just in the league but also in last seasons Youth Cup, Success though is something that all of us can achieve when we work hard and Parfitt has done well to build a strong youth side which was reflected last night in a Moscow. Levante won 4-2 against Daniel Innes CSKA Moscow side, a side who last season reached round 2 after winning a difficult group - Could Levante be this season's Lokomotiv?

3. David Senior (Valencia), A senior man in age to many yes, but also in his tactical knowledge and understanding of the game. When the draw was made and it saw him stuck in a Group of Egos alongside the likes of Reynolds (Dortmund) and DP (Juventus) he said nothing and refused to even consider Valencia progressing in this competition yet last night they won 4-0 away to Everton - a demolition more effective and efficient than how Hillary Clinton will demolish Donald Trump trumpet.

4. Greg Owen (Lokomotiv), what a stunning start for last seasons losing Cup finalist a 4-1 destruction of Beskitas and the Prince of Persia. Besiktas could not cope with the freezing temperatures in Moscow last night and the fact that Mr Putin himself had decided to attend the game was clearly on the Loko players minds and they were sensational. Could Greg go all the way again?

5. Zaid Griffin (Feyenoord), the Dutch side were making their Youth Cup debut last night and had to go to last years semi-finalist Villarreal and Andrew Kelly. Feyenoord fought hard and well and came away with what could turn out to be a highly valuable point. 2-2.

Youth Cup Team of the Week - BEST XI:



League Tables on the relevant page have also been updated.



Youth Cup Preview- Group C

With the 3rd edition of the Youth Cup kicking off today, bigger and better than before. Group C administrator and manager of Aston Villa, Rahul W has a look at his group and provides a preview into the 5 sides looking to fight it out for the top 3 spots in a race for qualification to the next round. With the increased number of teams (60), the next round will be a Round of 32. This means the 8 best 3rd placed teams will qualify for the next round. Most sides have a good shot at going through.



In Group C, Real Madrid are more than likely to go through as table toppers given the quality in their side. It means 4 teams will battle it out for two spots, only one of which is automatic qualification. On paper it would seem that it is down to Villa and PSG to take those 2 spots, however Malaga and Standard Liege could do some damage too. It shall be interesting to see how this group goes.


REAL MADRID

Roy Keane

Prediction- 1st

Predicted team:
Moreira (80)
Tolisso (88)- Canga (82)- Romagnoli (88)- Olaza (82)
Hojbjerg (86)- Tibbling (85)- Milinkovic-Savic (87)
Embolo (86)- Rashford (83)- Iheanacho (83)

Star player: Corentin Tolisso

Alternate options: Tudor (82), Tejero (78), Guedes (78), Grgic (78), Diallo (78), Fosu-Mensah (78), Ros (77), Manojlovic (77), Fletcher (76), Fernandez (76), Tarin (76), Reguilon (76), Gelson (76), Weir (75), Scholl (75), Benko (75), Lirola (75), Llamas (75), Morselli (70)

One of the best youth teams in the draw, Madrid have a solid defence, headlines by the versatile Tolisso and the talented Romagnoli, a strong midfield with the complementary skills of Hojbjerg, Tibbling and Milinkovic-Savic and the fast and strong attack of Embolo, Rashford and Iheanacho. With no clear weak links in this side, sides will have to play out of their skin in order to get points out of this Madrid side. I expect Madrid to wrap up qualification with at least 2 game to go, and they will be hoping to challenge the favourites Juventus and city rivals Atletico for the honours this time round.



ASTON VILLA
Rahul W

Prediction- 2nd

Predicted team:

Bratveit (80)
Hadergjonaj (83)- Hodorogea (82)- Garcia (80)- Walter (84)
Gutierrez (83)- Selnaes (83)- Lopez (83)
Tanase (83)- Ristic (82)
Mandic (82)

Star player: Florin Tanase

Alternate options: Zeneli (82), Boateng (80), Formella (80), Regasel (80), Torreira (78), Turnbull (78), Estupinan (76), Tymon (75), Peric (75), Green (70), Fandi (60)

Villa have a well balanced team, with no real attacking superstars, but with quality all round the park. They've gotten an easier group than last season and should be the favourites for getting 2nd place in the group. However they must be wary of the other teams and the danger they pose.






PSG


Gary Naylor


Prediction- 3rd

Predicted team:

Maignan (80)
Abdat (75)- Ricca (83)- Kimpembe (80)
Bazoer (86)
Grujic (84)- Ntcham (80)
Rabiot (88)
Habran (80)- Augustin (80)- Ongenda (80)

Star player: Adrien Rabiot

Alternate options: Rony Lopes (84) (on loan at Twente), Rossiter (77), D'Almeida (75), Fosu-Henry (70)

For PSG's status as a D1 side, their youth side is heavily imbalanced. Their lack of a right-back means that they will be forced to play with 3 at the back unless they choose to play players out of position (that being said they only have 3 defenders). The only formation that will allow them to play players without being penalised for players out of position is a 3-1-3-3, which in itself is imbalanced. That being said their strength is in midfield where they have the likes of Bazoer, Grujic and Rabiot. I suspect the manager has forgotten Marquinhos is no longer available as a right-sided defender; however given his side's bye in the first round PSG may find the time to add more balance to the side. It is tough to predict where PSG will end up as with some additions to the side they could easily finish 2nd, however with the current side I see them struggling. They also have Rony Lopes out on loan who could add a dimension to their attack.


Greg Billington

MALAGA CF














Prediction- 4th

Predicted team:

Prior (78)
Kakabadze (77)- Gogoua (78)- Diarra (75)- Matarrita (78)
Makarov (76)
Aburjania (78)- Tsintsadze (76)
Horta (85)- Papunashvili (80)- Zahid (80)

Star player: Ricardo Horta

Alternate options: Simsek (80), Edu (78), Zhemaletdinov (77), Labidi (76), Pereira de Sa (75), Abang (75), Rahmani (75), Roussos (75), Pascual (75), Latour (74), Mauzun (73), Polat (73)

Malaga are headlined by Ricardo Horta and will need him to lift up the team and get them some points. They should be able to challenge for 3rd place in the minimum. Horta is their main star and so   if he clicks Malaga should be able to get some points.



STANDARD LIEGE
James Foster















Prediction- 5th

Predicted team:

Viscovo (70)
Yao (82)- Vanlerberghe (78)- Fiore (80)
Colombatto (73)- Marquet (80)- Gerkens (82)- Field (70)
Milosevic (78)- Diallo (76)
Vidal (78)

Star player: Eloge Yao

Alternate options: Dewaele (76)

Standard Liege are a poor man's version of PSG's youth side, without the 80-rated players. While they do have quality, I don't see how they will play a side with all players playing not out of position (excuse the use of the double negative). Without any additions I can see Liege struggling through the Cup, and the fans must hope the tactically astute James Foster will put up his socks and get some players in to bolster the youth side.


Good luck to all the five teams in this group and to the rest of the teams competing in the Youth Cup!

PS- Put some effort into doing this piece so hope it gets some appreciation :)


Spongebob a Damp Squib: Lands keeper in hot water; sinks dream move.

“He was in our grasp until, like a Liverpool goalkeeper flapping at a cross, it was out of our hands."

That was all Razzaque could say about a collapsed deal for goalkeeper Sosha Makani.

Makani, who is Iranian and a self-proclaimed lover of all things American, was sentenced to 6-months re-education for being photographed wearing yellow trousers pants bearing a Spongebob Squarepants motif.

And no, this was not taken from The Onion. It’s a totally legitimate story. He was sentenced by the Iranian Football Federation’s Morality Committee.



Well-meaning, albeit illiterate Dynamo Moscow fans were quick to express their outrage:



Meanwhile, Dynamo Chairman Trump, who appeared in the dark about his team signing an I-Ranian, was quick to show his displeasure at the thought of being remotely close to signing anything from
I-Ran.



Jumpers for Goal Posts


Jumpers for goal posts. Literally. That’s how it all started for Liege over 112 years ago back in the Summer of 1898. (Not as catchy as ‘69 I know, probably why Bryan Adams sang about love instead of Belgian football). Royal Standard de Liege were formed by pupils of College Saint-Servais and were named after Standard Athletic Club of Paris. After bobbing up and down for a few years, they finally regained promotion to the top division in 1921 and have never been relegated since.

JF: ‘Kind of ironic that we find ourselves in Division 5 for a third season. Granted it’s entirely the fault of the previous manager, Frank Luca. I’ve not lost a single league match here, and it’s no coincidence that this is also the team’s longest unbeaten streak. We’ve got a UEFA co-efficient position of 71st. That puts us ahead of Lyon (79), Twente (92) and FK Partizan (97). There’s no reason we should be languishing down here with the likes of Davy at Brugge, or PMW at Anderlecht.’

D de K: ‘If your basing your ‘divine right’ to be in the upper echelons of the divisions, do you think you may have made a mistake using Davy or PMW as examples of teams you’re too big to face? I mean Brugge are ranked 17th, and Anderlecht are 37th?’

JF: ‘Who invited you here? In fact don’t answer that, it may have been me. Look, it boils down to the players we have and the manager’s skill level. I’ve never lost a league game. They’ve both lost loads. In fact pretty much all the managers here have lost loads. I’m the only one who hasn’t. I’m the greatest. I might not have won anything yet, like Gursimran or Roy Keane, or even Beddows, actually scratch Beddows… Kareem Abdul-Jabbar once said ‘You can’t win until you learn how to lose’, and if that’s true, by god, Beddows is gonna win big one day!’

D de K: ‘Well you’re certainly right about Beddows at least. Anyway, shall we get back to talking about your team instead of your opponents? How do you feel your first match of the new season went?’

JF: ‘As you know this will be my first full season here, and as such it’s the first time we’ve had a proper pre-season. The new players have adapted extremely well to my methods and techniques, you only have to look at the performances of Lang, Djourou and Rochina against Rubin Kazan. All 3 played tremendously and I’m delighted that was acknowledged with their presence in the Division 5 TOTW.’

D de K: ‘You mention that the new players have adapted well, how about the few remaining existing playing staff? It’s well known that you carried out a North Korea style purge of the previous regimes players when you arrived. It’s rumoured that you even had Diogo Rochinha killed by anti-aircraft gun?’

JF: ‘Of course I did, Diogo Rochinha fell asleep during a team meeting, and if Our Dearest Leader has taught me anything it’s that you need to be cruel to be kind. Look how well his DPRK team did, they reached the final of the world Cup! In terms of transfers, I may have been a little hasty to be honest. It’s not often I make mistakes but I’m man enough to admit that I carried out the changes a little too quickly. It unsettled a couple of the existing players I wanted to keep, and that was reflected in their performance. Bruno was sent off in the 46thminute and Sels struggled to read the movements of his new defence resulting in a below par performance. We’ve reviewed the match videos however and had additional defensive drills, as you can see today.’


A role model... Apparently...


D de K: ‘Have you made any changes to the backroom team whilst you’ve been here?’

JF: ‘Well when Frank left, I wanted a clean slate. It was obvious that he was only part of the problem so his team had to go with him. I’ve brought in a couple of Liege legends so I can focus more on strategy and transfers, they focus mainly on the day to day running of the training complex and sessions. Previous captain Eric Gerets has come on board as my assistant. He knows the club inside out, and has a wealth of experience working for some of Europe’s top sides. I’ve also brought in Gilbert Bodart as Head of Finance and with 470 appearances for the side he’s an invaluable team member.’

D de K: ‘Whilst I agree wholeheartedly that Gerets will prove to be a fantastic addition, do you have any concerns around Bodart’s previous criminal activities?’

JF: ‘Well, I mean who hasn’t been involved in a little bet here or there, or maybe a little money counterfeiting. Next you’ll be telling me that complicity to robbery is a real offence. Anyway, he told me since his prison sentence he’s a reformed man and that’s enough for me.’


Gerets loves putting things in his mouth


New Head of Finance


D de K: ‘Who am I to argue with a man of your obvious superior intellect James…. How do you feel your new players have performed since joining the club, you’ve brought in a lot of players at once so surely one or two of them must be struggling?’

JF: ‘Dick, we may not always see eye to eye but I’ll level with you, a couple of the players were a bit of a punt and may be moved on after their transfer bans are up. Will Grigg was expected to come in and perform. I think he may be a little burnt out though, at least that’s what I think the fans keep chanting at me anyway? Lewis Dunk is a great prospect but I think we may try and use him in exchange for another player. The same with Wagner, Barrios, and Alexis. All 3 can slot straight into a division 4 or 5 first team but they don’t match my philosophy unfortunately. We may see Cacciatore and Barton leave aswell for the same reason.’

D de K: ‘You mention Lewis Dunk, there must already be some potential suitors for him?’

JF: ‘It’s funny you should say that, his agent keep telling me that Juventus, Bayern and AC Milan are all interested so we may reach out to them in the hope that we can tie up some sort of deal.’

D de K: ‘Will you be actively looking to sell the others?’

JF: ‘I’ll happily deal with anyone to move these guys on. Even if that means a 2 for 1, 3 for 1, 3 for 2, 4 for 1, 4 for 2, you get the idea!’

D de K: ‘Do you have any players who you think will be key moving forward through the season?;

JF: ‘I think most managers have a couple of standout players who will usually be in the starting eleven, and I’m no different, although that’s not to say they’ll play every match. Djourou in defence is our captain and my voice on the pitch.  He’s a rock in defence and together with Lang and Sels should help keep out the goals, something the team suffered from before I came. Then we’ve got Bruno, granted he’s suffered from a discipline issue in the first game, but when his bans up he’ll be back in the side, he’s going to be an important player for us in the seasons to come. Finally, up front we’ve got Ruben Rochina. He might not be the glamourous striker other teams have got but he’s tall, quick and has an eye for goal. Now, can you sod off distracting me, Leckie has set up a BBQ in the centre circle, bloody Aussie… always disrupting training…’



D de K: ‘Thanks for your time James. Can I have a burger?’

Dick de Cock of Het Laatste Nieuws was interviewing James ‘The Brain’ Foster at Liege’s open training session this morning.

Leverkusen start with a win

Bayer Leverkusen Manager Noisy was delighted with the teams opening performance in Division 1 this weekend.
After being tipped in the pre-season predictions for relegation in last spot Noisy has fired up the team to go out and prove the doubters wrong.
Leverkusen had a brilliant pre-season and the lads are in good physical shape for the battle ahead, Noisy has set the target of a Top 10 Finish whilst many will laugh it off, Noisy is confident in the players he has to pull it off.

Recent rises in prospects such as Brandt to 87, Wendell to 89 and Boufal and Mendy to 88 has boosted the side with all involved in the matchday squads.

The biggest change for us personally though was Calhanoglu's Position Change meaning he can now play in the centre of midfield a position we have been weak at.



Calhanoglu was indeed deployed in CM this weekend and it paid off as he scored the winning goal in the Vicente Calderon to beat Doctor's Atletico 1-0.

He would have got MOTM if it wasn't for Lenos heroics in goal to keep a clean sheet.

The club has knocked various bids back in the last few weeks for its key players as we believe its vital to keep the backbone in place.

Hello Hellas

Last night a phote emerged that seemingly shows Levante manager Tom Parfitt visiting a rival club. The Levante boss was known to have visited Italy last week, he was there as a guest at his sister’s wedding in Lake Garda. The picture however seem to show that perhaps there was an ulterior motive to his visit.

The rumor mill is sure to go into overdrive following the release of the picture, but officials from both Levante and Hellas Verona declined to comment when approached. Verona manager Andre Libras - Boas could not be reached for comment, but it is hoped that he will respond in due course.


Parfitt however said that Verona is a wonderful city, and a place that he would like to spend more time. Is the man just mischief making, or is there more to it? At the moment he seems happy in Spain, and is attempting to build a side for the future, but is that side for the future one that he will be guiding, or is the very basic Italian he has picked up courtesy of his Duolingo app more than just a coincidence?  

New Season, New Start

Following last nights win over 10 man Independiente at the Ciudad de Valencia, Levante boss Tom Parfitt took time out to speak to Sky Sports Spanish football correspondent, Kate Abdo.


KA - Tom, there was talk that having finished bottom last season, you shouldnt be in charge at Levante now. How do you respond to that criticism?

TP - Kate, you lovely little thing you, we are here to talk about the here and now, not the past. In the here and now, we have won our opening game of the season 3 - 1, and had a very solid pre season too.

KA - You haven’t brought in many players during the off season. Given that the side did finish bottom, do you not think a few more additions would have been wise?

TP - You look amazing tonight Kate, maybe we could discuss this further over dinner? Maybe Netflix & chill?

KA - maybe later Tom, but what about your recruitment for this season?

TP - Well yes, it has been a bit slow, but we got the majority of our business done towards the end of last season. Mcgeady and Ramis came in. Eto’o, Gillardino, Szalai, Srnic, N’Doye and Kodjia all came before last season ended. Zapata too, so in all honesty we were ahead of the game for once. When Damaio became available though, we couldnt say no.

KA - Yes, Leandro is a great signing for your club. How did you manage to convince him to sign?

TP - Well it is never easy to get a player of that stature to drop down the leagues, but when I talked to him and told him what we were looking to do, he was on board very quickly. Leverkusen were great in their part of the deal too. Noisy was fantastic with his communication and we knew where we stood.

KA - Leandro Damaio coming in makes you a bit top heavy on strikers now does it not?

TP - Well spotted Kate, and I think that you will see two or three leaving at some point. I know in my head who I will be trying to move on, but I wouldnt expect too many immidiate exits.

KA - Can we expect to see any more new arrivals?

TP - What, me and you creating our own new arrival you mean? That’d be cool. We could get some practice in now if you like?

KA - Practice is later, I mean new arrivals to the Levante playing staff.

TP - I’d like to get a goalkeeper in for sure. I am hoping to talk to a club later in the week about one, but whether we can arrange a deal or notr remains to be seen. Other than that, we have made bods for a couple of midfielders, although we haven’t heard back from their respective clubs. If they dont come off though, I wouldnt expect amything else. I certainly dont have any other targets in mind at this moment.

KA - Well thank you for taking the time out to speak to me, it has been wonderful.

TP - Thank you Kate, and now about that dinner and desert…..   



SM Top 100 Season 3 Round Up - Gameday 1

Here follows an account of the activities and results from SM Top 100 Gameday 1 as told by impartial Italian Journalist, Gino Kinnearo and his friends

As impartial judge Gino sat and presented the show live from the San Siro he had three top Italian journalists in each Division watching tonight events unfold on SM Top 100 TV goal view which showed the main action live of every game simultaneously.

DIVISION ONE:

Reporters: Federica Figa, Benedetto Mangiapane and Francesco Fragola

Federica is a great fan of Mister Malcolm as she wanted to be a palaeontologist in her younger years and loves older men but she was horrified when DP’s Juventus nearly sent the dinosaurs to extinction in an emphatic 3-0 win tonight in a match between what were Italy’s top two sides.

Broon ate too many Turkish delights as his saw his side drop points from a winning position as the favourites for the drop, Liverpool, came from two down to get a point 2-2… Francesco commenting that it left a bitter sweet taste in his mouth as he’d placed 500 euros on Fener when 2-0 up at 5/1…

Poor Fred Dodger who should have been sacked quite frankly last season was destroyed by Barcelona and Scott Mckenzie who elected to site in his Nou Camp throne as opposed to alongside his coaching staff pitchside. And what of poor Lee Reynolds, apparently the Dortmund manager is now 40 (more like 70) and on his return to SM Top 100 Div 1 he was utterly destroyed by everyone’s favourite manager Roy Keane, whose Real Madrid side toyed with little Dortmund who looked more out of their depth than Louis Tomlinson did at Old Trafford. FRANKBET now make Dorymund 1/10000 favs to go down.


DIVISION TWO:

Reporters: Giacomo Gondola, Giuseppe Gelato and Vanessa Volpe

Where else can we begin but at the San Siro, Beddows who has been absent from the touchline due to World Cup duties was delighted to be back in Milan and his side produced a masterful performance to destroy Sevilla 1-0. Who scored… well obviously it was Mario Balotelli, the Italian international who recently signed a new 5 year contract was delighted with 3 points and made no excuses for his sides aggressive approach to the game.

Neil Frankland’s Roma were run away winners as well with a 3-0 against pre-season title favourties Inter Milan, Brian Clough had no answers to Franklands dominant attacking football which was comparable only to the Battle of Balaclava when the English stood no chance against the well positioned Russian artillery.

CSKA Moscow and Daniel Innes must surely still be on holiday as they allowed Monchengladbach walk all over them 5-1… Greg Owen and David Inglis (Loko and Everton) also are facing relegation battles this season after opening day defeats.

DIVISION THREE:

Reporters: Alessandra Pesca, Daniela Mucca, Renata Ronaldo

Both Kun al and Francesco Signorile (Gala and Cruzeiro) have shot stragiht to the top of the bookies odds for the sack race with both now 1/90 joint favourties as both sides rolled over to Genoa and Aston Villa with Frank Hirst and Rahul delighted to have picked up 3 points in their quest for maximum 114 points come game 38. Although Daniela Mucca still thinks Rahul wont have the bottle to achieve top 3 and as for Frank well if he finishes top 3 we will all no why!

Josh Mcmillan clearly cant cope with life in France as his side could only manage a 1-1 draw in a local derby with Golden Bears Monaco.

The big surprise of the evening came in Turkey when relegated manager Nathan Prince (formerly of Galatasaray) took charge of Besiktas for the first time against pre-season favs Southampton and Besiktas actually won a game - yes Prince actually hit the right notes and sang the right tune and got 3 points our of his players - Is Mike Scallotti due to be sacked - as he doesnt read the blog we are unlikely to find out any time soon.

DIVISION FOUR:

Reporters: Benito Crema, Davide Culo, Federico Faccia di Merda

Davide was most impressed by Mark Hewitt and David Marsden who both lead the table early doors but due to SM not allowing us to view the results collectively we cant say who beat who without excessive clicking - all Davide had to say was he would willingly marry Federico Faccia di Merda if either Hamburg or Montpeiller win promotion this season.

Michael Hudson (The crazy Kangaroo) and Sean Cass played out the most boring game in SM Top 100 history with a 0-0 draw, not the inspiring form that the fans would expect of title contenders.

Marco of the Angels (Sampdoria) and Andrew Kelly (Villarreal) both lost on the opening day as they both stand on the edge of destruction and the dreaded fall into that mental world that is wonderland, otherswise known as the relegation zone.

DIVISION FIVE:

Reporters: Gino Figlo di Kinnearo, Pascal Puttana, Ivan Pomodoro

Gino Figlio di Kinnearo was in Holland to witness Ryan Chisholm actually win a game, 4-3 in Twente. Ryan Chisholm who was blamed (as Italy’s assistant manager) as the reason Italy didnt win the world cup and subsequently sacked was delighted to actually win a game with a hat-trick from Van Wolfswnklel.

Tom Pariff (Levante) James Foster (Liege) and PMW (Anderletcht) were all delighted to win comfortably on day 1 as they each seek to climb on top of each other in the assault for Division 4.

Mark Stewart (Hertha) and Gav Harmer (Werder) will both be unhappy with Day One results with Bremen fans already protesting that Harmer as a relegation specialist was the wrong appointment for the German side in the first place. It is expected he will be replaced by the end of the week.

Juventus Ready

La Gazzetta dello Sport & Sky Italia reporter Federica Masolin today caught up with 'Old Lady' gaffer DP ahead of the start of Top 100's season 3 campaign. The two were spotted together frequently at the recent Monaco F1 Grand Prix where DP has spent his post season.


Federica; Hello Dan, fancy seeing you here.
DP; It's been a while.
Federica; Too long...
DP; Let's get this over with & onto more important matters.
Federica; I'm game if you are. So Juve, as ever, always busy in the market looking to improve upon the squad, is that something always at the forefront of your mind?
DP; I think it's important to always keep things fresh & it's vital to always try & improve your squad. Look at the likes of Milan, stubborn Beddows letting things rot & allowing a weird relationship with players like Balotelli to fester & poison the squad. Where did that get them? 
Federica; It appeared to get them an open top bus parade around Milan for a week straight!
DP; That's Milan for you. Celebrating relegation, truly inspiring that.
Federica; Disappointing that somehow this blundering bigot Beddows somehow managed to also get head coach role of our glorious Azzuri national team as well, which leads me to ask about the rumoured approach to appoint yourself or Malcolm in Florence as the new national team coach?
DP; I've been approached, this is true, but I'm not interested in the role currently however I believes there's been a few Beddows bungs again to ensure he keeps the role. 
Federica; Do you think Malcolm would be better suited for the position then?
DP; Whatever position you like Federica, I like.


Federica; Sorry, Malcolm as Azzuri national team coach, should he get the role?
DP; Oh of course, it'd be great to see an end to this love affair between Beddows & Balotelli but that won't happen anytime soon. Bungs top to bottom, Beddows to Berlusconi, Berlusconi to the mafia & here we are. Boring Beddows for another 2 decades. 
Federica; Miserable isn't it. 
DP; I'll do my best to cheer you up doll, don't you worry!
Federica; Back to the club football... You've brought in the likes of Šime Vrsaljko, Raphaël  Guerreiro & Juan Cuadrado in defensive areas. There much discussion that Juventus had the best strength in depth in defence before these deals, what do you think the belief is now?
DP; I'm sure there's some jealously about, who wouldn't be when you look at the quality of talent we have at our disposal.
Federica; Didn't do you many favours in the league campaign last season though did it? Finishing 4th wasn't exactly ideal?
DP; Don't beat around the bush do you Federica, not when it comes to football at least. Well no it wasn't the ideal result however we did have the best defensive record. The rest will come in time.
Federica; Perhaps the acquisitions of Batshuayi & Gabriel Barbosa can make a difference in killing off oppositions this season then? Juve seemed to often struggle to win games by big margins in Season 2?
DP; This is true. The new D&G on the scene have only had half a season playing within the same team as one another so I believe they'll be on point this season to make a difference whilst Batshuayi & Gabigol offer great depth to the forward line.

Federica; I think you should donate one of these new D&G handbags for me, I'm more than happy to advertise the product for you. Elsewhere are Juventus done in the market for Season 3 now?
DP; I imagine we're prepared for the time being. We've been impressed with the progress from the likes of Leroy, Kingsley, Daniele & Jonathan after the Youth Cup victory last season & they will be playing a part in more first team football this season.
Federica; A great achievement from the youth at Juve last season indeed, do you have a preferred lineup for this season? There's been a lot of speculation in Turin & furthermore Italy of late in the guesses as to the first 11 this season, can you comment on some of the guesswork?
DP; I've seen some of the speculation, it's hard not to but I won't comment much on it, I only say that any manager that does not try to adapt his tactics to his opposition is not a manager for modern football.


Federica; A fair comment. Is it true that you will be adapting a 3-5-2 this season? Perhaps the D&G partnership can flourish in this setup?
DP; You'll have to wait & see. I'm keen to see us score more than we did last season so there may be room to manoeuvre in around in order to benefit D&G. Again, we shall see.
Federica; You recently commented in a pre-season 3 preview that achieving a top 4 finish again would be the aim for the season, was that true?
DP; The division is tougher than ever & our opponents are forever strengthening on the most part & with the likes of our underachieving neighbours Milan & Internazionale being relegated the competition has just become much tougher. I'd take a top 4 finish now but it will be a much harder campaign than before.
Federica; I think we shall wrap things up there for now, I wouldn't want to keep you too long before tonights game here in Florence.
DP; I'm sure you can keep me for as much time as you'd like after tonights game, until then however it's ciao for now.
Federica; I look forward to it.