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  • From Russia Without Love

    Unbelievable, absolutely unreal. You come all the way to Russia. It’s freezing. So cold that Mbokania and Damaio thought Olaf from Frozen was playing for them tonight. To make things worse, we get into the dressing room and Putin, or one of his Russian mafia goons has nailed a bucket of raw plutonium to the…

  • Levante – Parfitt Speaks Out….. Again….

    This afternoon, Levante manager Tom Parfitt has rounded on yet another manager. Following a disappointing 1 – 0 defeat to Espanyol, the man at the head of Levante aimed a broadside at their manager, Doug Earle.  After the game, managers traditionally have a glass of wine and shoot the shit, but not last night. Instead, Parfitt launched into another of his verbal tirades.   When talking about the…

  • The Vigo Affair

    Following Thursday nights shock defeat to high flying Celta Vigo, Levante’s invincibles were embroiled in a fresh controversy. It has been alleged that Vigo manager Ryan Chisholm, along with former Levante player and Vigo’s goal scorer last night Gareth Barry, bribed a member of the Levante squad to ensure his side took the spoils. No…

  • Levante – History Makers

    Today, long suffering Levante manager Tom Parfitt saluted his brave warriors after they made it a club record 6 games unbeaten, and completed a league double over West Brom to hammer yet another nail into Mark Deadman’s coffin. Afterwards, the gaffer was full of praise for his side. Levante went into the game with five…

  • The Duel for Del Rey – The Aftermath

    Following last night’s stunning victory for Levante over PMW’s Anderlecht, there has been a national outpouring of joy, with scenes completely unrivalled by anything that has gone before. The scene outside Levante’s training ground as the players arrived this morning The Levante squad and staff arriving this morning The Levante dressing room last night at…

  • The Duel for Del Ray

    The game of the week in div 5 this Sunday see’s Tom Parfitt’s Levante take on PMW’s Anderlecht. The game is already being dubbed the “Duel for Del Ray” in some quarters, and both managers will be chomping at the bit to take all 3 points, along with Lovely Lana’s heart. Prior to the game,…

  • Division 5 – The season so far

    Anderlecht – Stealing girlfriends, topping the league. It seems that Anderlecht, and their playboy boss PMW are in the headlines for one reason or another almost every day. The Royal one has assembled a very good squad however, and I see no reason to think that Anderlecht will finish outside of the top 3. How…

  • The After Party

    Levante boss Tom Parfitt this evening hit back at claims made in the Belgian press this morning regarding himself, and his beau, Lana Del Rey. The Belgian press ran a story suggesting that the Princess of Pop was stepping out with the Prince of Belgium, and was also beardist. When questioned this evening on the…

  • Lets get the party started

    There were sensational scenes in Valencia last night, the likes of which have never been seen before in Spain. So what were they for? Had Shakira decided to play a gig dressed only in a sun dress made of clingfilm? Had Fernando Alonso won the World Championship, become leader of the country and immidiately decied…

  • The Hand Dryer Treatment

    After a magnificent run of three unbeaten games, all of which finished 1 – 1, Levante were last night sunk 3 – 0 at home by Internacional. Afterwards, Parfitt wouldn’t speak to the press ,preferring instead to spend the night with his squad trying to drum into them the importance of scoring and not conceding.…