The Miracle Of Istanbul!

Manager Marsden was made club mascot in honour of his 670th game in charge

Hamburger rocked the Top 100 universe last night with a stellar 3-1 victory against Galacticdisarray in Istanbul. The victory saw Der Dino launched into the final D3 playoff hyperspace, in what Skywatchers’ and Top 100 veterans are now calling The Miracle of Istanbul, evoking memories of the Red Shorts’ miraculous final game ascension to D1 in Season 11.

A slight exaggeration perhaps

An unlikely series of cosmic implosions meant that the Red Shorts jumped from 11th to 7th in one night.

We’re over the moon

Hamburger gaffer Marsden

Where did it all go right?

Things were looking grim ten days ago

It was clear to me that if we carried on with our trajectory we were at risk of getting sucked into the relegation black hole, from which we might never emerge.

Drastic action was required. And that meant entering the vacuum of interstellar space itself – otherwise known as the Top 100 transfer market – usually occupied only by fading stars older than life itself.

Is there anything out there?

New captain Clement Lenglet joins
Jonathan Clauss joins after a week long negotiation
Kouyate and Capa add defensive strength and depth

Looking into the future

We also managed to secure a couple of Future Transfers – not something I normally like to do, but with my telescope firmly pointed at next season….

Kolo already got his +1
Sad to lose Sess, but happy to get Willy and Billy.

Out of this world

We also did a few ‘under the radar’ deals with external clubs, partly to create squad space.

Sessa will take the RB slot in my youth cup team next season (hopefully Tomas Tavares will get a positional update to let him play LB).

Cetkovic was a tip from Gentleman James as compensation for removing my shorts and Gaga Slonina from my youth squad.

Romero will hopefully stay injury-free and get a run of games for PSV next season, while Joveljic has started well in MLS with The Galaxy (player of the week with two goals and two assists in a thirty minute substitute cameo last time out).

Towards a theory of everything

My back-of-an-envelope inter-galactical analysis

Following last season’s effort, no season review would be complete without some attempt to explain the unexplainable.

I’m none the wiser, and lost an hour of my life in the process.

Here’s to the playoffs and Season 18!

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