Benfica - New Faces


Benfica SAD is happy to welcome the new rising stars of Benfica! 
 

Leon Goretzka
Mohamed Salah
Andreas Christensen
Laszlo Benes
Dominic Solanke
Alex Grimaldo




 Benfica still on the run to recover ex Benfica players like Andre Gomes, João Cancelo, Bernardo Silva but the trade is being very difficult! Bento kindly ask Valencia and Monaco managers to be good to Benfica supporters and help us on that dream! ;)






Villa stumbling...

It has not been a very good week for us. We were dumped out of the Cup in the first round itself, losing to a Feyenoord side which was weaker than us. Very disappointing show, 13 shots on target and none on target is not very impressive. Eder, Wickham and Waris did nothing to show why they should be first-team starters, while Derlis did not have a great start, although he will be involved heavily in the next few weeks.

Our youth side then lost to Olympiakos away. This was more balanced, and we were unlucky to lose, as admitted by David Senior, the opposition manager. Derlis is still looking for his first goal. Maybe he can get it tomorrow.

To cap things off, we then drew to bottom side Hamburg in an exciting 2-2 draw that again we should have won. Very annoyed with this one. To be fair Hamburg are underperforming this season having a better starting XI than us but on form we should have thrashed them. 23 shots, 14 on target and 66% possession and yet we only drew. In fact, we came back from behind to make it 2-2 thanks to two late Djuricic goals. Adds to his good form this season. They only had 3 shots on target which they scored two out of. Shame, we do not want to drop points lest we are stuck in a play-off battle again.

The fixture list has not been very kind to us. This week, we have had to travel from France, to Netherlands and then back to Villa. The youth team also had a game in Greece before making it back to Villa yesterday night. Tonight, the youth team travel again to far-off Brazil which will be a tough game. Away at Flamengo will not be easy. You have to feel for Derlis though, who has travelled from Kyiv to Villa to Rotterdam to Athens to Villa to Rio de Janeiro to Bordeaux to Istanbul and finally to Villa in the space of 10 days. A lot of travel to do for the young lad.

Florin Tanase, our new signing
We also signed Florin Tanase from Viitorul Constanta for 800k and Luka Belic, who sadly isn't good enough for any manager. He joins up with Hodorogrea, who is happy to welcome his mate. The youth side is now complete for the test at the Maracana tomorrow, Whatever the result, it shall be a good learning curve for the team.

Bratveit
Hadergjonaj    Hodorogea   Turnbull           John
Forster-Caskey     Selnaes
Tansase          Grealish          Fraser
D. Gonzalez 

The likely line-up for tomorrow's game. Only one player is a Villa graduate, Grealish, who will wear the arm-band. Hopefully he inspires the team to victory.


What is striking about Flamego's youth team is the lack of quality and balance in the defensive third. I can see them playing a 4-1-3-2 formation that allows him to play all his three 80+ rated attacking mids, his two 80+ forwards and his sole 80 rated DM. It shall be a tight game and we are hoping to come away with all 3 points. Coincidentally Fannie's article on the Flamego manager gave me an insight into his project at Flamego. I'd like to applaud his only-Brazilian policy, may pay off one day.

Rahul W was also pressed on his interest in Matt Miazga of Levante. It was reported that Villa had lodged a Carl Robinson plus cash deal for the American, but was promptly rejected. Rahul W is quoted as saying that the bid was only made in jest to annoy the Levante manager. He recognises the Levante project, and given that Levante are in the same YC group, a sale could harm the side. We hope Miazga does well for the Spanish side.

Lastly, on the FrankGate incident, hopefully the SM staff listen to us and do what is necessary.

Good luck!



Fannie to Fannies: The Interviews, Number 1, MARK PHELPS (FLAMENGO)

FOREWORD:

Today sees the start of a new series where I have managed to tempt respected journalist Fannie Licker to come and do some work for the Top 100. She previously worked for Gold Championship 279 doing some press conferences and I do believe slept with Stephen Beddows and Frank Hirst in an interesting foursome. I am not at liberty to name the fourth participant due to legal reasons but do note that I didn’t say fourth person. The old parlour game Animal, vegetable or mineral comes to mind.

Fannie has agreed to do a series of one on one interviews with randomly selected managers of the Top 100. This is how it works. A RNG will select a manager from the list of Top 100 managers and they will be contacted asking if they wish to take part. There is no obligation to do so and if you decide not to participate then the next manager will be selected and there will be no issue of who didn’t want to take part. It will stay private. After the manager has agreed to take part, he will be sent a personal profile to fill in and while that is going on, questions will be constructed about his career in Top 100 and current situation. They will be no holds barred and nothing will be sacred. The manager can choose how to answer them. He may want to answer them seriously, comically or even eccentrically. Anyway he wishes. Once the answers are received then they will be published to the blog on a Thursday. These interviews will be published every fortnight with Gino’s Thursday blog on alternate Thursday’s. Ok? Now that it is clear we can move on to today’s first interview.

Fannie Licker loves football

THE INTERVIEW:

Good afternoon and welcome to the first in a series of interviews featuring managers of the Top 100. To start we have a quick word from the interviewer, Fannie Licker who will explain away her controversial series title.

Fannie Licker:  Hi guys and welcome to my cute little new series of interviews. I am delighted to be invited to such a successful gameworld filled with little fannies of it’s own. The title of the series is Fannie to Fannies but please don’t be offended as it is just my little joke. I am looking forward to meeting some of you and please do not flirt with me as I don’t like it. If I think you are worth a shag then I will let you know after the interview in private.

Anyway, let’s get started and I am delighted to have as my first manager, Mark Phelps who is manager of Flamengo in Division 5. Mark has been manager since the introduction of Top 100 and just on Tuesday there, the cup win over Athletic Club was his 50th competitive match in charge of the Brazilian outfit. He has decided to only have Brazilian players in his squad, hoping that the legendary skill of the country’s players can carry them to promotion in his second season.
To start things off, here is his personal profile where you can learn a bit more about his likes and stuff.

MARK PHELPS PERSONAL PROFILE

Full Name:  Mark Phelps
Born:  Northallerton 1968
Height:  5’ 8’’
Marital Status:  Single
Nickname:  None
Favourite Sports teams:  Darlington FC / Durham Cricket Club
Favourite food:  Indian
Favourite drink:  Tea, Guinness, Red wine
Favourite band/singer:  The Smiths
Favourite Colour:  Green
Favourite animal:  GSD/ Tropical Fish
Favourite film:  Jaws (plastic shark? I think not)
Your Car:  Alfa Mito
Best Friend:  Cousin David

What phone do you have:  It’s called a Doro 612. It is an old thing (looks like something the Roman’s left behind) but I like it.
Best sport to watch:  Football
What scares you most:  Finishing in the bottom two
Phone, iPad or laptop to play SM:  Laptop
Embarrassing moment:  Difficult to say there have been so many. I guess the most recent thing was the works Xmas party. A couple of drinks and I think I am John Travolta
Ever won anything on the lottery:  Played for about 20 years. Won peanuts.
If you could have any job in the world what would it be:  Director of Football. You get paid a fortune for doing nothing
Who would you most like to meet (dead or alive):  Two answers for this. Safe answer, Marilyn Monroe (lovely smile). Controversial answer (if you want one) - Robert Black (the child killer). Specifically I would have liked to meet him an hour after he was born. With a bucket of water.
If you could attend any sporting event in the world what would it be:  Monaco Grand Prix. Event I am most looked forward to attending? Whitby Town away. Will be a good day out.





Now for the interview. 8 questions for Mark so let’s see how he copes with them.

FL:  Flamengo have made a good start this season in the league. After finishing 13th last season, what would you say was the difference this season?

MP:  My starting squad wasn’t the strongest (Flamengo..are they even in the top 100 clubs anyway?). Last season I prioritised the cups and I may do so again but I have quite difficult draws.
I have some higher rated players now but Division 5 is something of a lottery. There wasn’t much between 3rd and 13th last season and I expect it will be a similar story this season.


FL:  Brazil is known for it’s silky soccer and it’s passionate fans. Is this the reason you decided to take on the job at Flamengo?

MP:  In a word, yes. It is my ambition to be the top Brazilian team one day but it will be difficult as the other managers are giving their all.

FL:  Do the fans seem happy at the direction you are taking the club? They couldn’t have been impressed with a below average first season in the Top 100. The 5-1 home defeat to Rubin Kazan must have had them calling for your head.

MP:  They may have also been pleased that I made the Shield semi final. The league is not a priority for me and I think people understand that. It is more important at this time to find good youngsters and undervalued players e.g. Dyanfres Douglas. I have 100m in players and nearly 50m cash and few clubs in Division 5 can boast that.

FL:  You have opted to make Flamengo an all-Brazilian club. What is the reason for this? Do you not think that foreign players settle well enough in Brazil. I mean, I have a Brazilian and I have had no problems getting used to that. Are you not worried that you will be looked upon as being prejudiced against foreigners?

MP:  I had a couple of higher rated foreign players here but I moved them on. They were on big wages and seemed to spend more time in the beach bar than on the training pitch. The Brazilians are progressing well and the squad is a good mixture of youth and experience. Prejudiced against foreigners? Mmmm…well… everybody gets a warm greeting in Rio.

FL:  Your best player Renato Augusto is out injured at the moment. How important is he to the club and will the injury mean you change your style of playing and your formation on the park?

MP:  Renato Augusto played two games - two wins. Next two games - no wins including a defeat by Brugge! Yes he is important to me. I am short in CM so went out and bought Mauricio.
I have a lot of AM / Wingers so I may have to switch to a more attacking formation in the next game or so.


FL:  Looking at the squad you have put together, it would be pretty obvious that Flamengo are a Division 5 club. Are the board not backing you with cash? Do you think they have full confidence in you to take the club up through the leagues or are they already searching for your successor?

MP:  I got 1.4m this season. Chairman says all his money goes to his ex-wife and he is broke hence my wheeling and dealing in the transfer market. Attendances are up this season so I think fans are happy enough. Can’t say I have seen too many people banging on the chairman’s door wanting the Flamengo job either.

FL:  Is there anyone in your youth squad that you think we should keep an eye on for the future?

MP:   I went over to Chile recently to watch the young Brazilians in the semi-final of the u17 World Cup. Evander was our best player so I was pleased to pick him up for a small fee. Leo Bonatini has been scoring more than Yolanda Squatpump recently so he may be the first to break into my starting XI.

FL:  Finally Mark, if you could manage any club in the Top 100, who would you choose and why?

MP:  There were plenty of bigger teams I could have managed. I wasn’t interested then and I am not interested now. I am patient and here for the duration.


FL:  Thanks Mark


So, that’s my first interview over and done with and Mark done quite well with his answers. I see Yolanda Squatpump got a mention. If she thinks she is going to be as famous as me then she can kiss my clit. Anyway, it’s a big thank you to Mark for taking part in the interview and I wish him and Flamengo good luck in their Division 5 campaign.
That’s it from me and the RNG will be selecting the next manager to be interviewed later tonight so watch for the message in your inbox. Thanks for taking the time to read this article and I will be back again in a fortnight’s time.

SLATERS

FANNIE LICKER.

Chelsea to Park the Bus !

Chelsea to Park the Bus !!


Chelsea Press Conference

James Mckenzie has openly claimed that Chelsea will be parking the bus against Bayern Munich in today's Division 1 clash.He was quoted saying in the press conference that, 'You can play with six,seven or eight defenders and still play attacking football'. 

Bayern Munich Press Conference

"We know Chelsea would be defending with nine and sometimes 10 men," Gursimran Brar said. "We know they'd get men behind the ball and try long hopeful balls up-front." I expect us to be too strong for Mckenzie and his boys.
Last week we beat Arsenal and the Manager resigned or was forced to quit, I just hope that today does not end up being Mckenzie's last game in charge.
Responding to questions on Transfers and Transfer Speculations

Asked about the Transfer situation he added we are looking to consolidate in the midfield and a solid centre back. We are very happy to have completed some transfer business by bringing in have Kalidou Koulibaly, in a like for like change with Ivanovich heading out of the door. Bebras Natcho has been brought in to provide cover till Joshua Kimmich is ready to take over that role. Lastly, we have brought in a few youngsters who shall hopefully grow with the club over the next few seasons.

He also mentioned how Eden Hazard and Xavi Alonso have been tracked furiously by some top clubs and it could be possible that they move in the next few days. He dropped a big hint that a deal with a manager for a top young talent was in place but now the Everton job situation had complicated that situation and finished off the press conference on that note.

Lastly, Luiz Danilo is expected to be in the stands today to watch Chelsea take on Bayern.The club would like to thank Gerard  Deulofeu for his services along with Alvaro Tejero who never quite made the cut and with Jordon Amavi in the ranks he was someone Bayern could afford to let go.

Players for P/E

Xavi Alonso
Arjen Robben
Andreas Iniesta
Seamus Coleman
Karim Benzema

Disclaimer:The below 2 would only move if a certain manager does get the Everton Job else a deal is in place for them.
Pierre Hojberg
Lucas Vazquez


Derlis Gonzalez signs!

Was not expecting to be posting again a day after my weekly report, but here I am. Rumours were linking us with young Derlis Gonzalez yesterday, and while Rahul W did not distance himself, he is now pleased to announce the signing. He is expected to be travelling today to Villa Park where he will visit the training grounds and the youth team, which he will fit into perfectly. He will be our striking head for the youth and a valuable rotation option for the main team. Unfortunately, we have to let one of our originals, Carles Gil, leave along with 3 mil to Kiev, a hefty price in terms of cash as we are not left with much money. We are still looking for another youth signing in order to bolster the attack of our team. As such, Luka Belic and Courtney Duffus will have to leave in order to let Derlis and another player in.

Derlis will take over the No. 22 currently held by Gil. We hope he will be an inspirational signing for our youth team, and fires us to success. Also like to thank Gil for his efforts and hopes he does well for his new team, as well as the Kiev manager for swift negotiations.

What a terrible dream.....

Levante managed to get their season up and running last night, and afterwards Parfitt said it was the first time this season he had managed to pick his own team and tactics. When asked exactly what he meant by this odd statement, Parfitt said that the night before the first four matches of the season so far, AC Milan boss Stephen Beddows had come to him in a dream and left explicit instruction regarding Levente’s set up.






Parfitt suggested that this dream occured on Saturday night as well, but on this occasion he chose to ignore it. The end result of ignoring Beddows being the Spanish side’s first point of the season. Not only did the club earn the point, but they also put in a much improved all round performance. The German side are quite a tricky prospect at this level, especially at home, but the stats show that Levante were good value for the point, and on another night may have even pinched all three.



The game started off with the home side flying out of the blocks however. Within 3 minutes, Fred had already put one effort wide and seen John Ruddy make a save from another effort. That earlypressure soon paid off, Juan Vargas scoring for the Germans on 7 minutes. Given that Koln took 6 points from these fixtures last season, Levante’s poor start looked all set to continue. 

Levante came into the game more as the first half came towards a close. Adriano and Gomez both missed decent chances. 

At the start of the second half, Mate Simao made way for Angel Romero as Levante went with 2 up top in an effort to get something out of the game. Six minutes later, the substitution proved to be a masterful one. Jean Beausejour was brought down, and Romero took the resultant free kick. He chipped the ball over towards the penalty spot, where Alejandro Gomez got a powerful head to the ball and beat the keeper magnifficently. 

In all fairness, a second goal either way wouldperhaps have been harshon whoever lost, but it was a good game of football, and one from which a beleagured Levante side will take some confidence.  

The Spaniards now have two home games in a row, with Southampton coming over for a cup mach tomorrow, before Italian club Atalanta arrive for Thursday nights league encounter.Parfitt expects the team tomorrow night to be vastly different, but is hopeful that the players who come in will see that they have an opportunity to stake a claim for a regular starting spot. Following his performance last night, Angel Romero has already been told he will start for the first time this season against Southampton, and given the clubs chronic lack of goals, the number 9 shirt is very much still available.   


There have been a number of transfers in and out of the club over the last 10 days or so. The biggest name being Correia Adriano, who joined from Barcelona for a fee of £9m. Levante have also asked Barcelona if the can be kept updated on the position of another of Barca's defenders, although a deal is unlikely at the moment with the side from the Nou Camp currently using theplayer in their own first team.

The other players to join Levante are......

  • Anthony Caceres - Central Coast Mariners £360k
  • Manuel Friedrich - Free agent £398k 
  • Sylvain Distin - Bournemouth £204k
  • Israel Jiminez - Tigres UANL £2.6m
  • Steve Mounie - Free Agent £150k
  • Dani Romero - Free agent £450k
  • Adil Nabi - Free agent £75k
  • Jean Thome - FC Vestsjaelland £80k plus Euan Spark
  • Bart Ramselaar - AZ £3m and Roberto Trashorras
Some of the players are hopes for the futurre, and others are old experienced heads at bargain prices. The club are not in a position to compete for top players at big money, but some of signings, especially Bart Ramselaar are very exciting, and the club are delighted to have got each and every one of them in.  


The Levante youth side were tuned to their television sets last night whilst the first team were away. They have been drawn in a very tough group and are rubbing their hands together at the prospect of trips to the Bernebau, Villa Park, Flamengo and Leverkusen. 

Whilst both the playing group, and all of the staff involved in the youth set up realise what a difficult group it is, they also understand that games against that calibre of opposition will be fantastic experience in their development towards what will hopefully become a successful career in the Levente first XI. As a show of confidence in the youth system, Parfitt is planning on handing several of the youngsters their first team debut's in the cup match against Southampton tomorrow night. Should they show well, there is the possibility that they could earn themselves a spot in the first team on a more regular basis. 

The youth sides group in full is as per the below, and the club will be looking to get the home fixtures penciled in ASAP.   


Group F:
1. Real Madrid (Keano)
2. Aston Villa (Rahul W)
3. Levante UD (Tom Parfitt)
4. Flamego (Mark Phelps)
5. Bayer Leverkusen (Noisy)

ASTON VILLA VS REAL MADRID! + other Villa news

A draw and 2 wins in the last 3 games has created a real buzz around the Villa training ground. A 2-2 draw away to Leicester was a decent result, with Veretout scoring a brace while playing as a No. 10. We went back to home on Thursday, where we faced another English side, this time Swansea, but we had a tight game, coming out victors 2-1. Ayew and Gueye were the scorers.


Our travels to France have been fruitful in the last season, and we beat Lille again, 1-0. Arguably a draw was the fairest result but Scocco scored his maiden goal for us in the 84th minute. Great vision shown by Ruben Garcia, it has to be said.

We are now 5th in the table with 10 points from 5 games. It's been a good start to the season, the momentum has to be maintained. We face Hamburger next who have lost all 5, so hopefully we can pick up 3 points there.

It must also be said that cups are also a priority of Rahul W, and we start off against Feyenoord who will be a tough side to play. Hopefully we can edge it.

Rumours were also abound that Rahul W may have opted to move to Liverpool, but he vehemently denied such reports and said he would never managed a club like Liverpool. He however congrats Gino on his appointment and hope he does well. Arsenal, on the other hand, were a more manageable side but with the news of the Youth Cup draw Rahul W has decided to continue at Villa Park to see what he will be able to do.

Speaking of the draw, Villa fans were besides themselves when they heard they were drawn with heavyweights Real Madrid. Beddows was right, Rahul W would definitely love this draw. Keano will be back at Villa, where he won't be welcomed too nicely. Shall be a fiery encounter for sure. Madrid have some top-quality youth players like John Stones, Baba, Werner, Asensio and Alli so they will be the favourites here. Sadly Ruben Garcia won't be able to play his former side Levante but he will still be able to meet his former players and manager. Tom Parfitt is a good manager but his youth side is nothing to write home about so we should be able to get points from those games. Flamengo are a side we don't know a lot about but they have Guilherme who could do well for them so we should be wary of them.  Finally, Leverkusen, the club Rahul W rejected in order to stay at Villa, complete the group. Managed by the experienced Noisy, they will be tough, as they have Hakan, Brandt and Jedvaj, good prospects. All in all, this is a tricky group but we should be favourites for 3rd. Whether we can make it 2nd will depend on how we do against the big teams. A group containing 5 good managers, this shall be fun to watch.

Group F:
1. Real Madrid (Keano)
2. Aston Villa (Rahul W)
3. Levante UD (Tom Parfitt)
4. Flamego (Mark Phelps)
5. Bayer Leverkusen (Noisy)

That is all for this week. Coming weeks should be fun as things heat up across 4 competitions.

Light blues hold off dark blues

Man City managed a courageous 2-1 victory over a much stronger Chelsea side on Sunday evening. A record 51,359 came to watch the victory, a clear sign of the fans pleasure with the goings on at the club.
Outmatched in all but three positions on the pitch the sky blues were quickly behind when Costa struck early on. It could have been 2, had Costa not been ruled offside. He was furious, despite being way off side.




Doumbia struck after excellent work from Gotze on the wing. This gave the whole team a lift, something that was evident as Doumbia doubled his goal tally for the day after heading home. The second half was a drab affair as City held on for an impressive win.

Somehow Costa was named MOTM. An outrageous gesture.

SM Top 100 Youth Cup Season Two - Group Stage Draw

Please read more to see live coverage of the draw for the Group Stage of the TOP 100 Youth Cup Season 2.

[youtube=www.youtube.com/watch

Please note that the final two teams ARE

Crystal Palace who will be in GROUP G
AND
Benfica who will be in GROUP H

Any questions please PM them to me or message me via facebook

Remember we do have a FACEBOOK group that will be used to send reminders etc RE: Fixtures.

Fixtures will be played as FRIENDLIES and the FIXTURES will be announced in due course.

LIVERPOOL REVEAL NEW BOSS

 
 
Liverpool have moved quickly to name a new boss after the resignation of Clive Short on Friday. After going through a very strong shortlist they finally decided to go for the experience of 53 year old Gordon 'Gino' Kinnear. Kinnear who had spent the first season of the Top 100 at Club Brugge, where, with a very average squad, he managed to get to the play off Final only to lose to River Plate in a game where many feel that the better team lost. Liverpool chairman, Tom Werner, was delighted to get his man and feels that this is the way ahead for the Merseyside club.

Kinnear arrived at the club early this morning and has already been around the ground along with a couple of selected pressmen. Next up is the press conference where Kinnear will be officially unveiled.


New boss Kinnear has had a look round the ground


LIVERPOOL PRESS CONFERENCE

Liverpool spokesman:  Welcome ladies and gentlemen to Anfield and I would like to introduce from left to right, Chief Executive Ian Ayre, Chairman Tom Werner and Director Mike Gordon. I will now pass on to Tom Werner who will introduce the new manager of Liverpool FC.

Tom Werner:  Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen and we are here today to unveil the new manager of Liverpool. We had a very strong list of candidates and it was one of the hardest jobs we have had here at the club but finally we decided on a man that we feel can take this club forward and can bring trophies to Anfield. Without further ado, I would like to introduce to you, the new Liverpool manager, Gordon Kinnear.

Applause, with a few cheers mixed in and one decidedly loud boo. How did Roy Keane get in here?


Tom Werner


Tom Werner:  I will now hand over to Gordon and he will say a few words and then will take questions. Thank you. Gordon?


Gordon Kinnear:  Thank you Tom. First I would like to thank Tom, Ian, Mike and the rest of the board for giving me this fantastic opportunity to manage one of the biggest clubs in the world. It is an honour to take on this job and I will be giving it 100% from first minute to last. There were rumours that I was close to retiring from the Top 100 completely and I can tell you that it was a rumour that was true. While I enjoyed my time at Club Brugge, I felt that I had maybe taken them as far as I could and the loss in the play off Final last season hit me hard. I would say I was days from retiring but when the opportunity arose to manage a club of this stature, I couldn't refuse. It now means, of course, that I will not be retiring and will work on as manager of Liverpool no matter what the surrounding conditions are. I would also like to thank Club Brugge for their swift co-operation in allowing me to come to Anfield. I had a great time there and I have some good moments to remember. I will keep an eye on how they are progressing with whoever their new manager is. Ok, I will take some questions:

Fannie Licker (Freelance):  Gordon, this is obviously a big step up for you. Do you think you will be a success here and how long do you expect to be given to show you are indeed the man for the job?

GK:  Hah, Fannie by name, fanny by nature. You always try to trip me up with your questions but anyway, yes of course I think I will be a success. I thought that was quite obvious or I wouldn't take the job. You would have to ask Tom about how long I have to prove myself but, trust me, I will know when it's time to go. I always set myself a target in terms of achievement. My aim will always be to win more points than I did the previous season and to keep improving on it until I win the title so as long as I do that, I hope that the board will keep faith in me.


Judy Swallows (Free Dierdre): I think the fans will be completely underwhelmed by the appointment when there were other names out there such as John Vinnicombe, Frank Hirst and Roy Keane. How do you plan to win the fans over?

GK:  You don't think I am a big name? Well looking at your name I am glad to see that you are a good girl. The other names that you mention are great managers and are doing well at their clubs. It would have been easy for the board to play safe and go for someone like John or Frank. There was no chance in hell that they would have approached Roy Keane after his dodgy dealings of last season. It is clear that he didn't want to win the title last season so that his idols, Manchester United, would be champions. How he kept his job at Real is a disgrace after throwing the title. He has already said that he can't wait to face Looneypool, as he called the club, and I can say that the feeling is mutual. I can't wait to lock horns with him and his so called superstars in Madrid. When we beat them, I will make sure it makes headline news and I will make sure Roy's gutted face is on the back page of every newspaper in Europe even if I have to take the photo myself. If that doesn't win the fans over then nothing will. Don't you worry about the fans Judy. I am sure if I send them round to your house that you will live up to your name.


Mike Litoris (Liverpool Gossip): Hi Gordon and welcome to the club. As well as a journalist, I am a big fan of the club. Have you thought on what you are going to do with the squad? I know, first hand, that there were some players who were not happy at their treatment by the previous manager and they wanted to leave. What will your approach be to players that aren't happy at the club?

GK:  I want to wipe the sheet clean but that's another matter. I promised I wouldnt get her pregnant so what else was I supposed to do. Erm, sorry, that didnt actually happen. Yes, your question. Well, I will gather the squad together tomorrow morning and I will lay down the rules and anyone who doesnt like the rues or anyone that doesnt follow them will be free to find a another club. Well, not free as we will want a fee for them but you know what I mean. Everyone will get their chance to show what they can do. I am a fair manager, I don't have favourites and I only pick the players that are on form or the players I think are right to play against the opposition. I will also be looking to put my own stamp on the club and will want to bring players in that I think can do a job for us. I am happy to know you are also a supporter Mike and I will give you Judy's address later on.


Yolanda Squatpump (Health and Fitness):  Do you have any special training methods? If you are looking for something new then I can hep you. You could give me a job as fitness coach and I won't cost much cos I am a bit of a slut and I like football players especially.

GK:  Thanks for your interest Yolanda and we will get back to you on that. Mike, there's another for you. Ok one more question.


Yolanda Squatpump



Roy Keane (Real Madrid):  So you were retiring and changed your mind. You were the only manager on the shortlist that didn't win anything last season. You are the right man for Looneypool right enough. IT'S A KOP OUT!!

GK:  Sorry Roy, do you have a question or are you just here to run your mouth off. You have a lot to say and to me that sounds like you are a worried man. The only kop out was you meekly surrendering the title last season so your heroes could win. Be afraid Roy, be very afraid. I am here to take that runners-up spot from you. When we meet you better have a bottle of wine for after the game so you can drown your sorrows and also give me some. White preferably. I will bring some cheese.

Keane unhappy at the Liverpool appointment

Ok, that's enough for today. Thanks for coming and let's hope for a Liverpool win tonight to get my career off to a good start.

Ciao