Fenerbache update issue 2

Hey Guys,

Been a fortnight since my last write up, would of posted sooner but work seems to be getting in the way. I know my employers pay the bills and that but Christ, be nice to have a few hours to myself. Half term hasn’t helped much either, or the fact we are looking to move house. Anyway on to the important stuff and whats been happening at the Turkish Giants.


In the 1st game since the last update we produced the best performance of my reign here, beating Inter Milan 1-0 away in the San Siro. An early goal from Gonul provided the 3 points finishing well with a low shot past the home keeper. 60 % possession and Inter were unable to test Casilla in the Fenerbache goal with not 1 attempt on target.
INTER MILAN 0 FENERBACHE 1

There was hell on in the following match after we turned up to face Atalanta in the under 21 cup, the lads were in the middle of their warm up when Atalanta strode on to the field minus any youngsters in the team! After a furious argument between the clubs directors in which many cross word were said in languages I don’t understand we decided to go ahead and give the kids a run out anyway, safe in the knowledge a default 3-0 win would be awarded after it, and the kids done good. Despite falling behind to an early Mehmedi goal we had to withstand some heavy pressure but the youngsters showed great fight and pulled level when Crysan finished after good work from Poulsen. The 2nd half followed the same pattern but again we stood firm and held out for a 1-1 draw. We scored from our only shot on target but the bairns deserved that.
ATALANTA 1 FENERBACHE 1. FENERBACHE AWARDED 3-0 WIN BY DEFAULT AFTER THE GAME.

A trip to the Ukraine followed in the 2nd round of the shield against Kiev, Belhanda give the hosts an early lead which lasted barely 60 seconds(a bit like Adam Johnson’s sex life) when Diego levelled after being played in by Ulloa. Kiev regained the lead just before the half hour mark when Rybalka finished well. Kiev wrapped the game up after 69 minutes through Moraes. A disappointing result in a very even game, 50/50 possession, 10 shots each, 4 on target each and both had 6 corners.
DYNAMO KIEV 3 FENERBACHE 1

Another away trip followed as we clocked up more air miles as we travelled to face Liverpool. In truth very little happened in the game of any note with Liverpool shading the match but unable to finish any chances. Defensively we got our 2nd consecutive clean sheet away from home which is a bonus.
LIVERPOOL 0 FENERBACHE 0

The under 21 cup continued when we hosted Chievo at home. It’s fair to say luck escaped us as despite controlling the game and having a vast amount of chances, mainly falling to Maupay who couldn’t score in a brothel with £50 notes wrapped around his bell end, and we were made to pay for not scoring when Doumbia scored for Chievo. More chances came and went for us but Mvogo in the away goal was not to be beaten. Manager Norman Little joking in the media room after that he wanted Mvogo drugs tested such was his performance. Disappointing result.
FENERBACHE 0 CHIEVO VERONA 1

Tonight we welcomed Lyon in the league and just like the night before against Chievo we are just not taking the chance we are creating. Sulejamni put Lyon ahead early in the game before we knew what had hit us. We regained our composure and eventually levelled just before the hour mark through Sow who was restored to the focal point of the attack in a tactical tweak from the boss. 1-1 and 30 minutes to go, crowd was beginning to get behind the lads and their support was repaid when Sow grabbed his 2nd after a lovely weighted through ball from Callejon 2-1 and high hopes for the 3 points. Those hopes lasted 2 minutes when Haris Vuckic pounced to earn the French side a share of the points, probably a fair result. After the game Norman Little was disappointed after seeing his side miss chance after chance, Lyon certainly more clinical after scoring twice from just 3 shots on target, although they did contribute to a fine game and the draw was well earned.
FENERBACHE 2 LYON 2

Now for my take on the real life action of late starting with another piss poor showing on the road from Newcastle going down with barely a fight 5-1 at Chelsea. Just how we are meant to stay up with our away form is worrying, 4 of our next 6 are away from home so it puts massive pressure on already huge home games with Bournemouth and Sunderland. McClaren seems out of his depth but with a week already passed since Chelsea I don’t see him going away anytime soon. Tickets arrived yesterday for Stoke which is our next game, given we probably will get stuffed, any suggestions on how to have a fun time in Stoke on a cold Wednesday night will be greatly accepted.
Title race still looks wide open, Arsenal needed that win against Leicester, I felt for Leicester as they would imo of went on to win the league if they had held on but now just 2 points separate the top 3. Man City seem to have fell apart since the Pep confirmation, maybe concentrating on the Champions League I don’t know. Sunderland give themselves a massive chance to stay up after putting all the bad press to one side about Johnson with a deserved win against a poor Man United side who Van Gaal is surely a dead man walking. Don’t think Jose is what they need mind but he always has that bounce factor at clubs with instant success before getting in t problems in the 3rd year.

Speaking of Sunderland I’m going to give my 2 pennies worth on Johnson, he really is a cunt isn’t he? He properly embarrassed Sunderland(a club who I don’t have time for but are generally a well run club) all it seems for financial benefit. If he had admitted to what he pleaded guilty to in court last year when the charges were pressed against him he would of been sacked, instead he lied and has been paid £60k a week for the last year. Disgusting that he put the club who does a lot right off the field in that position who morally couldn’t take a stance till facts were out.

That’s all for tonight, hopefully issue 3 of my round up won’t be as long in coming.


28 Games later

Here we have a look at what has been happening at Upton park since Nicky Thomson has been in charge of West Ham United or Divided.

Going back to last season West Ham announce there next manager with only 13 games to go and sitting bottom of division 3 and 6 points of 19th and 12 points from safety. After only amassing a grand total of 15 points in 28 games. So the West Ham board and some external help from Mr Frank Hirst, they come up with Nicky the saviour to try and get them out of relegation.



Life started brightly under the new regime and before long West Ham were slowly catching up with the pack, thanks to a couple of new signings mainly Andreas Bjelland, Herrera Michel and Steven Naismith. But the turning point was the home game against Ajax who at the time were 19th. A win for the Hammers would mean level with Ajax . A lose and that would be the final nail in the coffin and bring the hammer down on there season. Losing 2-0 which meant they were all but down. Ajax kicked on from here and stayed up. Mr Thomson had this to say “Would like to congratulate them on that jammy b*****ds”.

So pre season saw something different with the weather in the UK be raining ( like that is new) most teams around the league went to warmer climates. Not what Nicky done he flew them to the Northern parts of Canada and had them training at -20 most days. For what reason nobody knows other than Mr Thomson. Pre season games had them clock up the miles games in Holland, Germany, Brazil and England. Everything looked promising as they were win 3, draw 2 and lost 0.

So the new season had arrived with a fresh start and new hope plus a new league. With two draws in the opening two games it was still undefeated. Not for much longer five back to back defeats put them at the foot of the table for a second time. It was in this three game stretch that a new training regime or punishment ( call it what you want) was introduced. There were complaints put in against West Ham for the floodlights still being on well into the night even after the fans had left. Footage of CCTV at Upton Park has been put on YouTube which shows the team training after the fans leave and doing laps round the pitch. When the clips started to appear on the internet Mr Thomson had this to say " We have an agreement between the players and I that for every goal they concede they do laps for an hour and for every goal they score its reduced by half an hour."
In this period some of the board members were not wanting to be relegated for a second season they started looking for a new manager and had identified one and were in advanced talks with the chairman, but the chairman wanted to give Mr Thomson a little more time to turn it around.(the source I have received this information had said that it was another manager in the league, but could not say which manager it was) This had some effect as the next game they win 2-0 meaning the win there first game and more importantly the players did have to do laps. Sadly at this point West Ham were out of shield cup and when the team was playing Malaga after the game Mr Thomson had a warning issued to him about his behaviour on the touchline after having an altercation with the fourth official. Then next to games brought draws followed by two wins and more importantly put them out of the relegation zone. So the team were only doing laps for an hour at most in this time. Then Thursday game against Levante UD saw them beating West Ham 2-0, in a game the chance just didn’t go there way and to top it off Mr Thomson was sent to the stands after shouting abuse at the linesman for not wearing his glasses after not noticing that Clinton N’jie was the only person in the West Ham half when he received the ball. So Mr Thomson will have to wait till Tuesday to find out what sort of punishment will be issued to him by the FA.

It have been very eventful 28 games for West Ham with a lot of downs but with some ups and with Mr Thomson in charge this will be some rollercoaster the Hammer fans are on and they have a front row seat. We will have the next instalment of ‘Under the Hammer’ next week with game reviews and stories. So thanks for reading and see you next week from your host Timmy Mallet.



Birmingham Mail- What are Villa up to?

After the success at Sassuolo, the lads were looking forward to a few days of rest ahead of the Basel side, but no, that was not the plan as the manager Rahul W decided to invite his friend Andre Villas-Boas to Argentina for his Boca side to play Villa in a friendly. There was muted response from the team but it was good to see that they made short shrift of Boca in a comfortable 4-1 win in a near-empty stadium. Goals from Scocco, Kone (his first, though unofficial) and a brace from Djuricic capped off the game, with Choupo-Moting getting one for Boca. There were also assists from Park, Sanchez and Scocco again. Given this is a side likely to play in the Regional Cup (more on that later), it was a good game, even if it was against a D5 side.




With that in mind, we welcomed Basel the next day, who sadly were not good enough for our front 4. Three first-half goals from Veretout, Djuricic and Scocco, with assists from Kone and Ayew, won us the game by half-time. Aboubakar did get a goal back for Basel but that was as good as it got for then. A minor injury for Ayew failed to take a shine of a very professional win for us.

We welcomed Leverkusen for the third game of the Youth Cup, a few days later, but we were expecting a very tough game and got one too. This time they put 3 past us in half an hour thanks to Lobotka, Brandt and Biro. Grealish, our captain, did get one for us by half-time to give us a chance but we couldn't create much after HT and Carlos wrapped up their thrashing of us. Bratveit made a plethora of saves through the match to get a rating of 9, very impressive indeed. Rahul W did tell his boys later not to be disheartened and look forward to the big game next week.

With that the main team flew to nearby Marseille for the league game, a tricky game that was compounded by Sahin and Fernandao scoring two by HT. An offside goal by Derlis did not help, even while Eder scored again for us, it did not suffice and we fell 1-2 to the French giants. A shame, but it was a good fight shown by us.

We had a few days to mull over our performance and we had a home game again, to appease the fans not at all impressed by Billy Jones posting a video on Periscope talking about his purchase of a Villa in the Midlands as well as Mercedes. He later apologised saying the video was posted while he was driving, by some miracle it had been posted by his jeans or some sort. What a pathetic excuse, does he think he is Harry Potter or Davy Jones, I do not know but he has been given sometime off to reflect on this behaviour.

Anyway coming back to football Shakhtar have been hit by some bizarre management in recent weeks, with the manager not adhering to the squad cap and sending the same team to play over and over again. Sad for them, although I did not know this, and we demolished them 5-0 thanks to a brilliant show from Scocco (again!) with 3 assist and 2 goals, that guy is a genius. Sinclair also got two goals, with an assist from Sanchez and a goal from Gueye. What a game, in fact the opposition keeper Pyatov prevented the margin from being 10-0. I have asked Jones to get Pyatov's autograph and learn from him.

So we are now 3rd after 12 games, 3 points from the top and with a healthy GD, however we have some tricky games against Monaco (near the bottom but have top-quality players), Ajax (5th in the table) and CSKA Moskva (leaders).

The manager is currently in Madrid for the big Youth Game against Real Madrid, I hear Keano has given his kids off for the entire day, but we all know how good his team is. A win today would be absolutely massive AND mental, imagine if that does happen. If they do win/draw I will give them off the entire week as a reward. Pressure is on Keano.

The Regional Cup has also been announced and we are in the Churchill Cup, in the Southern Section. We are pleased to see that we will be hosting Chelsea and West Ham, with away games to Arsenal and Tottenham. This means there will be lot of travel which is why it is good we are knocked out of the cup and shield. We are together with 4 London sides so we are the rank outsiders to go through so I am hoping we can just go and get some points, good exposure for us. Only the West Ham game seems relatively easy to me.

Lastly, two youths have decided to leave the club due to lack of game time, so Callum Robinson and Rushian Hepburn-Murphy are leaving us. A shame but hope they do well elsewhere.

Good luck all as the fixture list heats up in the coming weeks! 

THE THURSDAY BLOG Vol 2 No 4

Good afternoon guys and welcome to another of the fortnightly Thursday blog series where we have a mixture of real life in the Kinnear household and then life in the Top 100 as manager of Liverpool FC.
It’s been all go in the Kinnear household recently with the biggest news being that my wife, Alison and the elder daughter, Elise are both pregnant. No, I am only joking, they are not really pregnant.

They have, however, with the summer holiday to Bulgaria in their thoughts, decided to have a 247th attempt at going on a diet to lose weight for the said holiday. Their attempts usually start on a Monday but by time takeaway night arrives on a Friday they have given up. You just have to mention Chicken Curry from Capital Chinese takeaway and Elise collapses to the floor in tears before giving up her diet 60 seconds later. Alison, meanwhile, has given up by the Tuesday. This time they are both being serious about it and to my surprise they are actually giving it a good go. They joined Slimmer’s or Slimming World or whatever it’s called and have now joined a gym. They have their own recipes and the only argument is over who will cook it each night. A couple of the meals look quite good and I actually joined them in having sticky chicken last Sunday. It was yummy. I have even played my part in encouraging them and I have promised as long as they don’t put on any weight, I will pay half their gym membership, which will cost me about £50 per month. On Tuesday there, they had their second weigh in since the start of the diet and in total, Alison has already lost 1/2 a stone and Elise has lost 4 pounds. Elise actually lost 4 pounds the first week but stayed the same this week. It didn’t take long for her to admit that when she went out with her friend Nicole on Saturday night, she drank her own bodyweight in Vodka and rounded it off with a Kebab. Oh dear, she was just one pound in the wrong direction from paying a full months membership in the gym haha.

Elise’s diet


While we are on the subject of the gym, Alison had said to me that I should come now and then even if it was just to use the sauna and the pool etc. I promised I would even if it was just to keep her company. My days of the treadmill and stuff are behind me but the sound of the sauna and even the pool, although I swim like a slab of concrete, was quite appealing. Last Sunday was scheduled for one of they days. She had asked me on the Wednesday if I would come on the Sunday and I said yes, probably just to keep the peace. I had nothing arranged for the Sunday so why not. I was lying in bed Saturday night watching TV and an advert came on for the Sunday footy. Arsenal v Leicester, Aston Villa v Liverpool, Manchester City v Tottenham Hotspur it exclaimed. One after the other. I definitely caught my attention. Three good games I thought. At that moment the wife came to bed and of course mentioned the gym for the next day. BASTARRRRRRDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!! was the thought that entered my head. Of course dear, I am looking forward to it (I snarled). Are we going in the morning?, I said hopefully. ‘No, Elise is out tonight (drinking her own bodyweight in vodka apparently) and will not get up until lunchtime. Aaaah perfect, nobody said ever. Fast forward to Sunday morning and how nice it was to get a long lie so the wife thought. To be fair, since I was coming to the gym with her, she got up and made my breakfast. I needed some sort of perk so that would do it. Elise gets out her bed for some breakfast and my other daughter, Janene, on a day off from competition, informs me that she is also going to the gym. Ok I said as the advert for the three games appeared on the TV again, mocking me. What the fuck are you smiling at Kamara, as Goals on Sunday came on. Janene also proudly announces her friend, Joanne, will be going as well. Great, there is now a gang. I ate my breakfast, average standard, had better, had worse before Alison appears to get ready for the gym, but with a rather sheepish look on her face. What’s up? I said. She looked at me and said that Joanne’s mum, Lesley would like to go to the gym. I thought, oh why not, every other person we know is going. I said ok what’s wrong with that? Alison said, well we can only take three in as guests so would you mind not going? FUCKING JACKPOT!!!!!! Are you kidding me??? Have I fell asleep again and I am dreaming? Putting on my disappointed face, I said no of course not. You know I am always first to give up my space on anything so someone else can go. Always thinking of others, I am. Ya beauty. Not laughing so much now Kamara, are you. So, 20 minutes later, they were off to the gym and Arsenal v Leicester was on the box as I lay in bed with Bet365 open on my laptop. Heaven on a Sunday. I will go at some point but I wont be so hasty in saying yes until I see what games are on the telly.
Janene and her boyfriend Ross/Russ/Shrek are still going and it appears going quite well. It was, of course, Valentine’s Day on Sunday and to his credit, a dozen red roses arrived at the door that morning. No way is he getting round me that way I thought before realising they were for Janene. He also took her out for dinner that night and had got her a new pair of trainers and a nice perfume. Fucking hell, she got more for Valentine’s Day than I did for Christmas. I am beginning to come round to the fact that she is 18yo and not my baby girl anymore and that I should maybe make an effort to get to know the boyfriend. Elise always interrogates me on why I don’t accept him when I had accepted her boyfriend with no problem. In fact I had got on really well with her boyfriend, Alistair, and he even came on holiday with us. I just say to her that I thought she was more mature and ready for boyfriends and sex etc while Janene was not. I still don’t think Janene is ready for sex and it’s hard to get my head round that even though she tells me he hasn’t even tried to have a little grope of her boob (what is wrong with him, is he gay?) she could be just too worried to tell me otherwise. I have promised to make an effort now but only after I have a talk with him first. I want to know his background and want to ask him just how much he likes Janene. It’s something I have to do as I don’t trust teenage boys. I was one myself and I know the thoughts that are in the head. Also, I get so many teenage boys on the bus and every one of them is an arsehole, no offence to any managers that are still teenagers.
This Saturday, we are moving one of the horses to a new yard. Elise’s horse, Riz, is stabled about 15 miles away and it is costing her a fortune in fuel so we found a stables that is much closer and also cheaper livery so it makes sense. I will actually be working but Alison and Elise will move him. We have a horse lorry so it shouldn’t take too long. Janene’s horse is stabled at Ingliston Country Club but since that is where she work’s as the professional’s groom, the livery is cheap and she also gets to ride her every day.

Elise with her horse Rizario

So, that’s the main events over the last couple of weeks although Alison was taken to hospital yesterday after suffering an asthma attack but she is ok and is just taking the couple of days in hospital for a rest and will get out tomorrow (Friday).

It’s been mixed fortunes at Anfield lately with last Thursday’s 3-1 win over Manchester City being cancelled out by the 4-2 defeat at Bayern Munich. Both results were expected really but we strive to improve things by working harder on the training pitch and taking that hard work into match day. Five goals scored in two games is a good return in anyone’s books but the five goals conceded shows that we still have a lot of work to do defensively, although to be fair, Bayern are a very good team and the fact that we were still very much in the game for 78min augers well for the future. The good news is that Daniel Sturridge is on top form and he scored four of the five goals, albeit two being penalties. He is showing plenty of enthusiasm and really wants to lead by example in the striker’s role. He knows that players such as Destro and Gabbiadini are keeping the pressure on him to play well and this can only be good for the club.
During the week we travelled to Leicester in the Top 100 Shield and I was delighted with the performance that gave us a 2-0 win. Destro grabbed a goal and Benteke scored the other. Benteke has been slightly out of favour recently and I make no secret of the fact that we have tried to move him on. He knows this and has been to see me to ask if he can still have a future at Anfield. I really wanted to say ‘yes, if you buckle down and show the form you are capable of’ but I couldn’t because I know that if a good offer came in for him then he would be on his way. This is proven by the fact that we are currently in negotiations with a club that could see Benteke leave along with Lovern with a top class international midfielder coming to Anfield. He shall remain nameless at the moment but he has a vast amount of experience and I feel would link up well with Oscar and Lucas in the centre of midfield.
While we are still involved in the Top 100 Cup and the Top 100 Shield, the draws have not been kind to us and I will tell you why. Now, I am not a superstitious manager. I don’t have to cut the head of a chicken before the game or strangle a cock, although Fannie Licker has offered to strangle my cock for me, an offer that I had to turn down due to the fact I already have a similar arrangement with Yolanda Squatpump. Back to the story. As I said, I am not superstitious, but I do seem to have a problem when I play against teams that start with an A. I have played two sides in the league that fit that description, Atletico Madrid and AC Milan. Both ended in defeat and now in the domestic trophies we have drawn AS Roma away in the Cup and Arsenal away in the Shield. The A curse has to be broken because I said to the team when I first arrived that I wanted to win a trophy this season and while I am realistic enough that we won’t win the league, I believe that the Cup or the Shield can be won. Watch this space.
Strange incident the other day when Sebastian Rode came into the office to tell us his car had bricks instead of wheels. Welcome to Liverpool Sebastian haha. We said we would investigate and decided to bring the police into it. The strange thing was that the police said this had been happening all over the city and it is believed to be linked to a criminal organisation that ships alloy wheels to Sao Paulo in Brazil.

Sebastian Rode’s car


Apparently, years ago, it was hub caps that always seemed to go missing but they had now moved on to alloys. Then one of the detectives mentioned a name that made me freeze. They said they were looking into the strange appointment of a manager called Josh McMillan, who despite having absolutely no links to Brazil, had landed the Sao Paulo job. It made me freeze as I knew Josh from the rebel ARG (Anti Relegation Group) organisation. They used to be a very hostile group and would do anything, even kill so they said, to avoid relegation. They broke up when one member betrayed them and got relegated before giving all their names to the authorities. What was going on now I wondered? As of this moment the investigation is being continued but if things get worse and even more alloy wheels go missing, I think a call to Freddy, Maggie, Thelma, Shaggy and of course Scooby could be in order. Meanwhile, I am waiting on Player 85295 arriving at Anfield for a trial with a view to signing him up as a rent boy for a secret group within the Top 100. It’s all legal of course but members such as Roy Keane shall remain nameless.

Well that’s it for today. I have had to juggle things with hospital visiting and tidying around the house but I have got here in the end.

Next week will be the next Fannie Licker interview although it is uncertain when that will be published. The aim is Thursday but I believe she is getting some sort of implants put in this week again. I am getting to the stage where finding out what implants she is getting is as exciting as finding out who is to be interviewed haha.

Anyway, that’s it from me this week and I would like to thank you all for taking the time to read this article and for helping make the Top 100 blog the success it is.


Ciao


Gino Kinnearo Investigates

You must listen to the music before moving on…







Gino Kinnearo, the No 1 journalist in SM Top 100 is a curious fellow, often he displays his curiosity on Italian TV where he is usually found lavishly praising his favourite manager in all of history, Stephen Beddows and criticising the SM Top 100 Mafia of Hirst and DP where he reports stories of bribery, deception and deceit so dark with managers such as Gordon Kinnear (Gino’s cousin) and Roy Keane that it makes FIFA’s 2018/2022 organising committee look like a child’s birthday party.

But over the last few days since Milan finally had a day off (he never misses a Milan game) he decided to travel to South America to investigate the curious case of the appointment of one Mr 
Josh McMillan at Sao Paulo.

Without a place to stay, Beddows had kindly recommended the great SM Top 100 manager, Robérto Downinho, who coincidentally manages SC Internacional, a club in the same city as Sao Paulo… and it turned out to be more than a coincidence as  Josh McMillan  was actually sharing bunk beds with Robert in a run-down slum area of Sao Paulo.


Josh's new home - Sao Paulo
Gino Kinnearo was eager to discuss why Josh McMillan had been selected for such a glamorous role and he had a few theories which he quickly dismissed.

1) It is well-known that Josh McMillan is an SM non-relegation specialist, in fact he has been relegated less times than Sam Allardyce.

This cannot hold any truth as Sao Paulo are a Division 5 side and it is almost impossible unless the corrupt elite add a 6th division that Josh could be relegated. Therefore Josh' primary success in SM (never being relegated) cannot hold any truth in the reason as to why he was given this chance.

2) Some key Sao Paulo players are destined for such dark places, that are more corrupt that George Osbourne's brother's pants such as Genoa, Liverpool and Real Madrid.

This is a feasible solution, as everyone knows you cannot be successful in Top 100 without being in the pay of such criminals as Hirst, Keane or Kinnear and it is no coincidence that players such as Locatelli, PLAYER 85295 and Tabokas have been heavily link to those three clubs in recent weeks.

3) Mcmillan's Mrs fancied a change of scenery as she had never left England and Josh had never even left Northampton and as such plans were made to go to Brazil.

Kinnearo dismissed this scenario as completely implausible as he had learned prior to the interview with Mcmillan from his two new minders that Mrs Mcmillan had in fact not travelled out to Brazil.

4) No one else wanted the job

Kinnearo noticed upon entering Downing;s apartment that in fact it was more rancid that his cousin Gordon's team bus at Liverpool, and more unkept than that Fox hole than the Inter manager lives in back in Gino's beloved Milan...

Ah this must be it... Josh was the bottom choice on a list of many, with the other 365 candidates turning the job down...

Gino, then upon deciding there was no need to interview Josh went back to the airport and booked a flight direct to Seville, hoping he would arrive in time for Seville v Milan tomorrow night.  

Max Meyer: Bayern sign CSKA Moscow attacking midfielder

Meyer said: 'I look forward to my future with Bayern'.

Bayern have signed CSKA Moscow midfielder Max Meyer in exchange for Marc Bartra and Lucas Vazquez and 6m on a four year contract.

The German International has been compared several of the World's best attacking midfielders including the likes of Mario Gotze.

'I'm very excited and proud to be here', said Meyer.

His capture means his club have landed a high-profile signing to lead the team in next season's youth cup and a long term successor to the ageing Andres Iniesta.

Bayern had to fight of competition from Juventus, Barcelona and Arsenal, the latter tried to gatecrash the move today afternoon.Brar persuaded Meyer to reject all advances.

Brar said: 'He is a great player, with proven quality at both club and international level. We have watched and admired him for some time and he has all the attributes I look for in a player.'







Fannie to Fannies: The Interviews, Number 2, BOB 'GROUCHO' SAL (SASSUOLO)






Good day to you all and welcome to the second of the Fannie Licker interviews with managers from the successful Top 100 world founded by Frank Hirst. The first interview with Mark Phelps was well received as we learned a bit about Mark and also his time in the Top 100. Today, we have the second in the series and we move into Division 3 and the Italian side Sassuolo, managed by Bob ‘Groucho’ Sal. Bob has been an SM player for as long as I can remember and was one of the first managers that I noticed when I became a gold member. He is always a tough opponent, as I am sure you all know, and I always feel I am the underdog when going in to games against him. Anyway, let’s get on and before the interview, here is Bob’s personal profile:




BOB ‘GROUCHO’ SAL - PERSONAL PROFILE

Full Name: Robert «Bob» Saletti
Born: More than half a century ago in Switzerland from Italian parents but I lived practically my whole life in Montreal
Height: 6’1’’ (1,85m)
Marital Status: married
Nickname: Groucho
Favourite Sports teams: American football
Favourite food: pizza
Favourite drink: red wine, whisky
Favourite band/singer: Allman Brothers Band, Frank Zappa, Eric Clapton, Miles Davis
Favourite Colour: green
Favourite animal: dog
Favourite film: Citizen Kane / Apocalypse Now / Seven Samourai / any Buster Keaton movie
Your Car: VW
Best Friend: André whom I’ve known for four decades, with sports and music as centrepieces of our relationship
What phone do you have: none
Best sport to watch: american football (if you forget the ads which, I agree, is hard to do),
What scares you most: losing my memory
Phone, iPad or laptop to play SM: Macbook pro
Embarrassing moment: There were quite a few of thoses I must say. Here’s one I can tell : being late at the hospital to pick up my wife after she had a miscarriage, the reason being I watched the 1994 World Cup final between Italy and Brazil up until the end and since the game was decided by penalties… And Italy lost, a real bad day at the office overall!
Ever won anything on the lottery : I don’t play games when I don’t have a reasonable chance to win.
If you could have any job in the world what would it be: one that gives me time to do other things ! Seriously… jazz musician.
Who would you most like to meet (dead or alive): Barack Obama
If you could attend any sporting event in the world what would it be: the World Cup Final or the Super Bowl… with my son.


Interview:

Good afternoon, I’m Fannie Licker and this is the second in my series of interviews with Top 100 managers. This week I have been in hospital to have implants put in my bum. The operation was a success and below you can see how I now look, well, below. I am very happy and you must admit it is very impressive. I also don’t need a cushion for my seat anymore since I now have a built in cushion for my own seat (giggle),

My new buttocks   :)

So on to today’s interview and I have with me a guy who has had a great first season with his club Sassuolo, winning promotion from Division 4 and being a good egg overall. It is Bob ‘Groucho’ Sal.


FL: Welcome Bob, you have been in charge of Sassuolo for 54 games now and have already won promotion from Division 4 in your first season. Has your time in charge went as you expected it to go or do you feel you are overachieving?

BS: Last season was fantastic as we battled it out all season with Hamburg and Besiktas only for us to lose the title by one point. Overachieving ? Let me put it that way : we didn’t overachieve, we were just better than everybody thought we were !


FL:  Italy are well represented in the Top 100 with Sassuolo probably being the least known. How do you feel about all the publicity sides like AC Milan, Juventus and Inter Milan get while Sassuolo are virtually ignored? Does this aggrieve you?

BS: Not aggrieved at all, they deserve it based on their illustrious past. Anyway I like being the underdog. The more overlooked we are, the better we feel. The day a city of barely 50,000 people (half the people of Sassuolo can have a seat at Mapei Stadium!) will compete with the likes of AC Milan and Juve would mark a colossal achievement. This day may be not that far away although our small budget will always impede us to some extent.



FL: With the success you had in Season 1, do you worry that the board and most certainly the fans expect to have this success continually and that if the standard drops they will be expecting your head on the chopping block? 


BS: Yes, expectations are higher this season and we’ll be hard-pressed to reproduce last year’s performance… and we haven’t so far. As long the players play hard though, I won’t complain and neither should the fans. As far as chairman Gino Corleone is concerned, that might be another story though


FL: When we look at your squad, there are no real star players but one thing that is noticeable is that the squad seems top heavy with defenders. Does this represent the Sassuolo style of play or is there any particular reason for this?


BS: That’s the team I inherited. We play mostly 5-3-2 or 5-2-3 as these formations fit our personal, and since we have success with it… We made minimal changes since I’ve have been in charge, mostly getting younger players to give some competition to our veteran ones. I believe in ‘conceptual continuity’ as my mentor Francesco Zappa used to say.


FL: As already said, there are no real stars in your squad. Is this deliberate? Who in your squad would you say was the most inspirational to the rest of the squad and is there anyone that, if injured, would affect the club’s form?


BS: Well, we had one star –Berardi- and we traded him for two very good players (Zaza and Durm) that made us better and more balanced, that tells you the story. We are as team-oriented as a team can be. Sometimes defying the odds but so be it. Our inspirational leader is certainly our savvy keeper Consigli who’s been with the team for a while. We probably could not afford to lose him to injury as we are a little thin at the position. The underrated Paolo Cannavaro at the back and Francesco Magnanelli in midfield have also been great leaders. Versatile fullback Sime Vrsaljko has been playing tremendous football and has been consequently the target of some other teams but we refuse to let him go.



FL: It’s been a difficult start to the season and you have lost 4 of your last 5 league games. What is the target for the season and have you found it much tougher than you expected in the higher league?


BS: Sadly we’re already out of the Cup and the Shield competitions, so we’ll concentrate on the Top 100 season and the Youth Cup. There’s a lot of football to be played. As we speak, we’re a middle of the pack team but I feel confident about our chances to move up the ladder and be near summit at the end. We’re still aiming promotion to Division 2 this season, but next season is probably more realistic. Anyway, we have our work cut off for us as the Top 100 league is best in the world and any division is a great challenge.


FL; Is there anyone in your youth squad that you think we should keep an eye on for the future?


BS: Certainly our two young African midfielders Godfred Donsah and Naby Keita. The Guinean Keita could become a starter on a first team pretty soon.


FL: Finally Bob, if you could manage any club in the Top 100, who would you choose and why?


BS: Since my parents were born in Cremona near Milano, AC Milan and Internazionale would have been natural landing spots in my career. Sassuolo is a mere 2 hours drive away from Milano, so I still feel somewhat at home. Getting the better of those Milan teams will be very special when it happens… and it should come sooner than later!

FL: Thanks Bob and good luck for the season


So, that’s it for interview number two and I thought Bob gave good honest answers and is definitely a good intelligent manager who knows what he wants to do and believes in his capabilities of being able to deliver.
Next week is the Thursday Blog and then I will be back the following week with the next in the interview series but who will be my next subject I will decide that over the next couple of days. Look out for a PM in your mailbox as it might be you.

Thank you for taking the time to read.

Slaters


YOUTH CUP ROUND-UP and Youth Cup TOTW

Top Youth Cup reporter, Rolf Saville-Hall apologised for not updating the table last night as he had been frantically trying to finish fitting his new carpet in time for watching the 16x Youth Cup matches simultaneously on BT Sport.




Here is a brief overview.

Of the 32 teams who played we had TWO side who forgot to SET their sides.

Atalanta BC (Sean Cass)
FC Schalke 04 (Sameer Arshad)

As such they were both given automatic 3-0 defeats which is reflected in the updated Group Tables on the blog pages.

So onto a few select results and the Youth Cup TOTW:

Group A: A game between Porto and Juventus ended 0-0, to a fan expecting to be entertained, look away now, it was a match of tactical fighting. With the two manager both so determined not to concede that they forgot to attack. Villareal also won again to lead Group A.

Group C: Lokomotiv Moscow are surely the surprise side so far having maximum points from their two games, the Putin backed side stunned AS Monaco to win 4-3 in France, with Monaco struggling somewhat to get anywhere.

Group D: Praise to another Russian side as CSKA Moscow also have maximum points. Rolf Saville-Hall  has raised concerns that the success of the Russian sides is no coincidence and perhaps a British anti-doping team should be sent to Moscow and has urged Group Administrators to carefully check the passports of these club’s players to ensure their eligibility.

Group E: Newcastle have also started well and will be confident of progressing to the later stages of the competition after beating Milan 3-1.

Group F: Roy Keane continues to go on about how his side will win anything and his kids finally did win last night to close the game on Group F pacesetters, Leverkusen, led by Noisy who surely have one foot in the knock-out stages already after 9 points from 9.

Group H: This group is exceptionally tight and I wouldnt like to call who will get out of here, Benfica finally got off the mark after a 2-1 win against Chelsea.

Rolf Saville-Hall has this morning appointed Adam Johnson as responsible for picking the Youth Cup TOTW..

Adam Johnson said that is always tough to pick a TOTW but here is mine with O.OŽEGOVIĆ being the stand-out inclusion with a hat-trick in Monaco.

GK: G MARCHEGIANI (AC Milan)
CD:  C MARQUINHOS (Paris SG)
CD: A LAPORTE (Man Utd)
CD: D RUGANI (Juventus)
DCM: E BAILLY (Villarreal)
RM: A BRUMA (Udinese)
CM: H ÇALHANOĞLU (Bayer Leverkusen)
CM: M MEYER  (CSKA Moscow)
LM: G DEULOFEU (Real Madrid)
CF: A MITROVIĆ (Newcastle United)
CF: O.OŽEGOVIĆ (Lokomotiv Moscow)









Gursimran Brar: Frank Hirst should hire a sports psychologist for Mattia Perin

Bayern Munich manager Gursimran Brar believes Genoa should hire the services of a sports psychologist to boost the morale of Mattia Perin 
Mattia Perin has been in woeful form since being denied a transfer to Bayern

Its mildly terrifying to contemplate what sort of thoughts are swirling around the mind of Mattia Perin at the present:"Will i ever get a move to my dream club, Bayern? Is Frank Hirst making a move on my girlfriend ? Will i ever be able to buy a Lamborghini Gallardo?

It would be a shame to see Genoa throw away the chance for promotion and quite possibly a Division 4 title charge due to the under performance of one unhappy player. So i would suggest him to get rid of the player or hire a Sports Psychologist.If he decides on the latter, I would recommend former Bayern Sports Psychologist Keisha. 

Keisha achieves an instant impact on the performance of footballers- often within an hour of working with them. 

The futures bright? No, it's black & white!




Juventus today swooped for rising star Jonathan Tah, captain of the Germany U19 side a favourite of national first team coach Joachim Low, one of many managers whom has tipped the lad born & raised in Hamburg to reach the pinnacle of defensive capabilities within his career which now at 20 years of age has only just begun.



Some say that Tah is but a German version of the tipped rising star John Stones whom recently moved from the grasps of Real Madrid down the road & into the clutches of The Doctor & his ever youthful vision for Atletico Madrid but Juve gaffer DP states otherwise.



" Tah is a very accomplished defender whom has yet to get the spotlight that those whom have played previously in England get. Since the formation of the Top 100, Tah moved from Leverkusen to River Plate where under the stewardship of Romanian manager Secasiu Calin-Mihai he has developed well but quietly for the Division 4 side. Whilst the aforementioned Stones has continued to get the spotlight from Division 1's bumper television rights you'll quickly come to find that the thing Tah is better than Stones at is defending which I'm sure most managers would hope to find in a central defender... "

Juventus gaffer - DP

A defender himself in his playing days it's been no surprise that DP has looked to secure the future at Juve by finding long term replacements for world class defenders Chiellini, Bonucci & Barzagli & in now brining in Tah alongside fellow signing for his first week in charge, Jairo Riedewald, Daniele Rugani can rest assured that he is in good company whether he break into DP's first team squad sooner or later.

The future certainly looks black & white with Juve's acquisitions in the past month including the likes of Davie Selke & Leroy Sane in the U21 squad whilst Elseid Hysaj (21), Ricardo Rodriguez (23) & Julian Korb (23) have instantly seen first team football. 

Perhaps a questionable time for Juventus to have sold the likes of Mario Mandzukic, Pierre Emerick Aubameyang & Josip Ilicic among others recently departing Juventus Stadium especially with the early league form but DP is confident that Juventus can continue to challenge in Season 2 despite recent changes to the squad. 

" Everyone is keen to see Roy & his oversized head fall short of D1 glory this season in Top 100 & the somewhat recent upheaval in the dressing room recently has lead to questions of Juventus' chances of preventing such a tragedy this season but I can assure you that those brought into the club recently have only improved cohesion amongst both the first team & youth team squads & we're the better for it. 

The only experienced head this club needs is a leader like Gigi! "