2016
Espanyol Making a Move?
Despite a disappointing showing in the league fans have been happily surprised by their performances in the Shield so far. An opening round win over Augsburg was followed by an unexpected victory over Division 1 side Liverpool on penalties after the game ended 1-1. Espanyol will face Bayern Munich in the next round where Earle will hope his side can produce another upset against one of the best teams around. He said he is excited for the players and the opportunity to show just how well the team can perform and said he will keep the cup team in place despite the opponent.
 |
| Domingues Claudemir New Centre Man |
 |
| Sergi Gomez Not For Sale |
Youth Cup Half Way Review
FYI- Top100 is a Frank Hirst gameworld and has been running for 3 seasons and is without doubt the most active gameworld in SM and possibly the best. The Youth Cup is played on Saturdays with managers obliged to pick an under 21 qualified team and is played in 12 groups of 5.
Last nights Youth Cup TOTW
| GROUP A | |||||||
| P | W | D | L | F | A | Pts | |
| Liverpool | 4 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 9 | 5 | 9 |
| Galatasaray | 4 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 7 | 5 | 8 |
| Athletico Madrid | 4 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 9 | 5 | 7 |
| VFB Stuttgart | 4 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 6 | 2 |
| Dinamo Zagreb | 4 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 2 | 9 | 1 |
At this early stage all 3 of Liverpool, Gala and A.Madrid can expect to proceed to the knock out stages as they have dominated the group. Poor Feargal clearly is struggling with SMFA duty, Cup, Shield, Youth and World Club Cup and managing a side through 6 different competitions is not ideal.
Gordon Kinnear (Liverpool) said... "I am actually quite surprised we top the group - I always questioned the validity of pointless friendly competitions as they always used to go against me - but like a good Scot I have no complaints when it is going my way..."
The Doctor (A.Madrid) said... "I still keep time traveling back to season 1 when we won the Youth Cup, we still havent quite got over last seasons shock defeat to Lokomotiv Moscow... but the lads are ready for the next 5 weeks and we aim to win the group."
| GROUP B | |||||||
| P | W | D | L | F | A | Pts | |
| Cruzeiro | 4 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 7 | 4 | 9 |
| Bayer Leverkusen | 4 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 5 | 2 | 7 |
| Monchengladbach | 4 | 1 | 2 | 1 | 4 | 3 | 5 |
| Augsburg | 4 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 4 | 7 | 4 |
| Tottenham Hotspur | 4 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 5 | 9 | 2 |
Mr David Piero (Tottenham) who is followed home and away by flock of sheep has seen them bleating away in protest at a poor showing by Tottenham in this seasons Youth Cup. The only dutchman loved in Germany Mr Gerrit pulled off a great 1-0 win last night in Monchengladbach to bring the young Germans with a realistic shout of 2nd round youth football with 4 games to go.
Leading the group is non English speaking manager Mr Francesco Signorile (Cruzeiro)... The Lord of the Brazilian rings in Cruzeiro has been a great asset to the gameworld and the results he has achieved with his youngsters to see them top of the group is brilliant.
Noisy (Leverkusen) said: "I am highly shocked that we are not top of the group... and I am sure our quality and QF performance of last season will be replicated as a minimum."
| GROUP C | |||||||
| P | W | D | L | F | A | Pts | |
| Real Madrid | 4 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 10 | 5 | 10 |
| Aston Villa | 4 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 8 | 5 | 7 |
| Standard Leige | 4 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 2 | 5 | 4 |
| Paris Saint Germain | 4 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 4 | 6 | 4 |
| Malaga | 4 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 6 | 8 | 3 |
Roy Keane (Real Madrid) I expected to be top of this group at this stage and the only difficult thing to comprehend is how we dont have maximum points which is down to that cheating Rahul (Aston Villa).
Gary Naylor (Paris SG) has some real superstars in his side but a lack of depth and variety in some positions has led him to having to play certain formations which may well explain his lack of form. Leige's (Foster) players have been involved in many scnadals this season (see blog) and it is unclear whether or not the Leige youngsters have been involved in Bunga Bunga as well.
| GROUP D | |||||||
| P | W | D | L | F | A | Pts | |
| Olympiakos | 4 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 9 | 2 | 10 |
| PSV | 4 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 12 | 4 | 9 |
| Levante | 4 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 8 | 5 | 7 |
| CSKA Moscow | 4 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 6 | 13 | 3 |
| Hertha Berlin | 4 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 3 | 14 | 0 |
Group D is lead so far by the Legend of Greece - surely a little help from the Greek Gods here for McLean as he is driving the Greek train away from a tragic group stage exit.
PSV (Heath Brown) in their Youth Cup debut have done very well, which was expected due to a plethora of talent and Parfitt (Levante) will also be hoping that a fair start will take them through to the next round. Innes (CSKA Moscow) who were excellent last season coming out on top of a difficult group are finding life very tough this season and need to buck up their ideas to make the next round.
| GROUP E | |||||||
| P | W | D | L | F | A | Pts | |
| Barcelona | 4 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 6 | 1 | 10 |
| Bayern Munich | 4 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 5 | 2 | 7 |
| Schalke | 4 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 4 | 5 | 4 |
| Chievo Verona | 4 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 6 | 7 | 4 |
| West Ham | 4 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 4 | 10 | 2 |
This was always going to be a difficult group for West Ham and Chievo Verona - Thomson (West Ham) commutes daily from Canada to training in East London and then likewise to every home and away match and this is clearly having an impact as West Ham struggle to cope with the big boys.
Bayern (Grurisman) was not always convinced of taking part in Youth Cup but he has been won over and the fact that he must face arch nemesis Barcelona (Mckenzie - one of them) in the group stages has clearly motivated him but it is Barcelona who lead the way so far - who themsleves how to right the wrongs of last season when Barcelona failed to even get out of the group.
Schalke (Sameer) will hope that he can get out of the group and get to the QF like last season.
Relegation specialist Josh Mcmilan (Marseille) find himself in an unfamiliar situation with no relegation to fight in youth football he is stuggling to find the right ways to motivate his players. Feyenoord (Zaid Griffin) is having an excellent debut campaign in Youth football but both should be concerned that Villarreal (Andrew Kelly) (last season semi-finalists) are in 2nd place. Kelly is a managerial genius who gets everything possible out of his players and his mind games will surely ruffle up Feyenoord and Marseille over the coming weeks and we fully expect Kelly to win the group.
Bayern (Grurisman) was not always convinced of taking part in Youth Cup but he has been won over and the fact that he must face arch nemesis Barcelona (Mckenzie - one of them) in the group stages has clearly motivated him but it is Barcelona who lead the way so far - who themsleves how to right the wrongs of last season when Barcelona failed to even get out of the group.
Schalke (Sameer) will hope that he can get out of the group and get to the QF like last season.
| GROUP F | |||||||
| P | W | D | L | F | A | Pts | |
| Feyenoord | 4 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 9 | 4 | 8 |
| Villarreal | 4 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 10 | 5 | 8 |
| Marseille | 4 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 6 | 5 | 7 |
| Sampdoria | 4 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 3 |
| Werder Bremen | 4 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 4 | 14 | 1 |
Relegation specialist Josh Mcmilan (Marseille) find himself in an unfamiliar situation with no relegation to fight in youth football he is stuggling to find the right ways to motivate his players. Feyenoord (Zaid Griffin) is having an excellent debut campaign in Youth football but both should be concerned that Villarreal (Andrew Kelly) (last season semi-finalists) are in 2nd place. Kelly is a managerial genius who gets everything possible out of his players and his mind games will surely ruffle up Feyenoord and Marseille over the coming weeks and we fully expect Kelly to win the group.
As for the bottom both manager openly admit that they are here for the ride and any points that they can take will be much appreciated as they look to give their youngsters regular football.
| GROUP G | |||||||
| P | W | D | L | F | A | Pts | |
| Sassuolo | 4 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 10 | 2 | 10 |
| Chelsea | 4 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 9 | 4 | 9 |
| Twente | 4 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 6 | 6 | 4 |
| West Brom | 4 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 5 | 8 | 4 |
| Sporting | 4 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 1 | 7 | 0 |
Bob (Sassuolo) is over the moon at the start his side have achieved in the Youth Cup so far. 4 played ad unbeaten and they beat the other Mckenzie as well. Twente under the leadership of Norman Little, a Little man who started season 2 of SM Top 100 in Div 1, went to Div 4, got sacked and is now in Div 5... He should be hopeful of progressing further into this seasons competition.
West Brom (Deadman) will be confident that he too can take his side onwards as well. As for Dr Fox at Sprting he took on a difficult challenge taking on someone elses side and he will hope to achieve something in the 2nd round of matches.
| GROUP H | |||||||
| P | W | D | L | F | A | Pts | |
| Borussia Dortmund | 4 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 12 | 5 | 12 |
| Valencia | 4 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 12 | 4 | 9 |
| Juventus | 4 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 9 | 8 | 6 |
| Everton | 4 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 6 | 10 | 3 |
| Basel | 4 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 1 | 13 | 0 |
Group H was the honoary Group of Death when it was drawn out and that has lived to be the case with defending champions Juventus losing TWICE, yes TWICE so far. Reynolds (Dortmund) is so happy with his side at the moment that he has advised any other side in the group to not bother turning up as Dortmund will win anyway.
DP (Juventus) has clearly showed that last seasons success was a fluke and against the bigger sides he has no answers when facing egos as big as his. Poor Everton and Basel are struggling somewhat and will do very well to finish in the Top 3 of the group.
| GROUP I | |||||||
| P | W | D | L | F | A | Pts | |
| Udinese | 4 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 9 | 0 | 12 |
| AC Milan | 4 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 12 | 4 | 9 |
| Espanyol | 4 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 4 | 8 | 4 |
| Athletic Club | 4 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 4 | 7 | 2 |
| Shakthar | 4 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 2 | 12 | 1 |
Udinese (Attila) and Milan (Beddows) have been the outstanding teams thus far and barring a complete collapse you would imagine in some order that those two will go through to round two. As for the other 3 perhaps Athletic Club (Crisp) with the talents at his disposal will be highly disappointed. But in truth any of those 3 at the bottom of the group could progress if they can pick up a few wins in the coming weeks.
| GROUP J | |||||||
| P | W | D | L | F | A | Pts | |
| AFC Fiorentina | 4 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 7 | 4 | 10 |
| Napoli | 4 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 8 | 3 | 7 |
| Celta Vigo | 4 | 1 | 3 | 0 | 6 | 5 | 6 |
| Stoke City | 4 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 4 | 5 | 4 |
| Sao Paulo | 4 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 2 | 11 | 0 |
Boring dinosaur football continues to be a dominating theme in Florence as Fiorentina (Malcolm) continues to bore his way to positive results and tops Group J, a group that he will expect to win. Napoli (Rob Ryan) continues to experiment with different formations and players as he looks for the correct formula and the surprise side is surely Celta (Ryan Chisholm) a failure in his league form and as an International assistant manager alongside his cousin he is picking up good points in the youth cup and finds himself in a decent position.
As for Sao Paulo and Mr Wheels, well the wheels came off in Gameday 1 and he is enjoying the experience but has been warned of his future conduct as his fans continue to attack everyone else with spoons...
| GROUP K | |||||||
| P | W | D | L | F | A | Pts | |
| Lokomotiv Moscow | 4 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 11 | 5 | 9 |
| Anderletcht | 4 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 8 | 5 | 8 |
| Club Brugge | 4 | 1 | 2 | 1 | 7 | 5 | 5 |
| Newcastle Utd | 4 | 1 | 2 | 1 | 10 | 7 | 5 |
| Beskitas | 4 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 2 | 16 | 0 |
Loko are going mad again and have made a fantastic start - last season surprise package and finalists lead the way again. But the Belgian duo Anderlecht (Prince Michael William) and Club Brugge (Davy) are both hot on their heels.
Arguably the biggest disappointment so far has been Newcastle United under Oran Robson they failed to pick up any wins until last night which is horrendous considering last season they won every game of the group stage.
| GROUP L | |||||||
| P | W | D | L | F | A | Pts | |
| Hamburg | 4 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 1 | 12 |
| Sunderland | 4 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 5 | 1 | 9 |
| Man Utd | 4 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 11 | 4 | 6 |
| Genoa | 4 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 3 | 7 | 3 |
| Hellas Verona | 4 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 0 | 13 | 0 |
Hamburg (Marsden) are like bread and meat - ham and burgers - they just go together and Mr Marsden has surprised many in leading his Hamburg side to the top of Group L. Sunderland (Bullough) have also done very well, with Man Utd (Joe Jordan) underperforming massively. Frank Hirst though his side might actually do well this season after they won their first ever game (after losing all 8 last season) but since then their form has been comparable with the slide of Gerrards after that slip - surely Genoa won make round 2.
The Hand Dryer Treatment
After a magnificent run of three unbeaten games, all of which finished 1 - 1, Levante were last night sunk 3 - 0 at home by Internacional. Afterwards, Parfitt wouldn’t speak to the press ,preferring instead to spend the night with his squad trying to drum into them the importance of scoring and not conceding.
It was alleged by one of the cleaning ladies, who was listening with a cup held up against the changing room door, that Parfitt spent hours after the game giving his team the hand dryer treatment.
“Phoebe” The Whistle Blower
This reporter asked the cleaner, who we will call Phoebe to preserve her anonymity, if she in fact meant the “Hairdryer Treatment”. She was adamant though that no, it was the hand dryer treatment. The club have recently installed new Levante branded hand dryers in all public and player / staff bathroom and changing area,and as such one was close at hand for Tom after the match.
The weapon
Phoebe said that she heard the sound of a large object being ripped from the wall and hurled across the room, and then the sound of somebody seemingly slumping on the floor with a head trauma.
This continued for a while, until eventually all that could be heard were the whimpers of injured men asking for mummy to put a plaster on.
When the casualties (or players if you prefer) had eventually staggered and crawled home, Phoebe and her gang went into the changing room and were able to take the photograph below.
The post match meeting room
Parfitt wasn’t available for comment this morning. Official word from the club is that he is at the training ground getting his team ready for this evenings match against Galatasaray in the World Club Cup. Unofficial sources however have stated that the manager is still upset about last nights performance, and that a club doctor has been sent to calm him down. No statement would be given by the club, but this video has surfaced on the internet and appears to back up claims that Levante’s boss did indeed go mental last night and hasn’t stopped yet.
A Standard Bunga Bunga Party
Breaking news here at Sky Sports HQ with Kirsty Gallacher – Belgian correspondent Dick de Kock is deep undercover at Academie Robert Louis-Dreyfus, home of the world famous Foster Football Factory. Unfortunately it seems as though we can’t get hold of Dick on a live video feed so we’ll have to hope that de Kock is available by phone…
DdK – I’m hidden deep, deep undercover here at Liege’s training complex after hearing rumours of Belgian Bunga Bunga parties…
KG – Can you tell us where you are hidden?
DdK – I’m hidden in a laundry basket, it’s a trick I learnt under the stewardship of the great Mexican journalist, Shorty Guzman.
KG – And how did you find out about the parties?
DdK – I definitely didn’t find out about the parties on a new no strings relationship app I didn’t download. This isn’t going out live is it Kirsty? My wife won’t find out?
KG – No, no, not at all, we’re going to collate it all later on and produce an expose… We’ll keep all this stuff out of it… honest…
DdK – Oh good, my wife would kill me… Anyway the parties have become legendary, and between me and you, I’ve been trying to get an invite for months.
KG – So did you sneak in or actually get an invite?
DdK – I got an invite, like I said I’m deep undercover, I’m dressed up as a naughty schoolgirl. I best get a Pulitzer for this. Or at least some attention from the players…
Probably didn’t look like this…
KG – I used to look quite the catch when I dressed up as a schoolgirl you know Dick…
DdK – Behave Kirsty, we all know you’re only kept on TV due to your sporting knowledge, Kate Adbo and Charlotte Jackson knock spots off you….
KG – Right, thanks for that, you really know how to make a girl feel special… Well back to the matter at hand… What can you tell us? What’s going on?
DdK – Right, I’m out the basket, I’m going to mingle around the room and try to work out who’s here… Florian Gardos, Hedenstad, I’m pretty sure that Cacciatore over there doing unspeakable things with a focaccia bread and 3 models… Wow, ok, Willians Arao is living up to his Brazilian party boy name, he’s got 6 girls in the Jacuzzi. Wait a minute, he’s calling me over…. Be right back…
KG – Dick? Are you there?
KG – Dick? You’ve been silent for about 15 minutes?
DdK – Sorry Kirsty, wow… that was intense… I’m not sure what the move was called but I definitely didn’t enjoy it… must remember I’m undercover… It’s not wrong if you’re undercover…. God… so good…. Ahem…. So anyway…
KG – Erm… Are you sure you’re not enjoying this?!
DdK – Of course I’m not, it’s purely for the art of journalism… Right let’s get back to working the room. Bridcutt is in the corner with Scott Arfield, they seem to be snorting something off the back of a nurse? Purely medicinal I imagine…
KG – Wow, explosive stuff, you’re really penetrating the issue here Dick…
DdK – Thanks Kirsty, I live for my work… I’ve just seen Barton leave the room, I’m going to follow him and see what he’s up to.
DdK – I think I might be blind in my left eye… As I walked in he shouted ‘Pirate’, kicked me in my shin and something hit me in the eye? I think it’s yoghurt?
KG – I think we should move on Dick, who else is there? Any other big names? Any backroom staff?
DdK – It’s hard….
KG – Pardon?!
DdK – Sorry, it’s hard to tell Kirsty, I think Antolic may be here, but he’s wearing a Spiderman mask, and shouting ‘Thwip’ as he throw’s something out of his hand? I think it’s more yoghurt? Certainly tastes nice anyway.
KG – Wow. Your simple.
DdK – Shove it in, yeah shove it right in…. Smother me in it….
KG – Dick!!
DdK – Sorry just getting a hot dog, more ketchup please, lather it on…
KG – Right I think we’ll leave the interview there you seem to have you mouth full again…
KG – We’ll attempt to get a statement from the Liege manager shortly.
The Liege press office has been in touch with the below statement from James Foster;
‘Rest assured, this is not the kind of behaviour we expect from our players here at Standard and I’d like to assure the fans that these players are no longer wanted here.
As of today, we will be actively looking to sell the following players;
Florian Gardos
Joey Barton
Willians Arao
Liam Bridcutt
Scott Arfield
Domagoj Antolic
Fabrizio Cacciatore
The main issue, as I’m sure we can all agree with me here, is the failure to invite the rest of the players and back room staff. From what I’ve heard it was a great party. The videos I’ve seen were fantastic, I think a few of the lads also mentioned trying to get a couple of girls back, especially that naughty schoolgirl, she was doing unspeakable things… We may even make it a monthly team bonding event, although it may be hard for all of us…’
Youth Cup Gameday 4 Overview
Juventus are beginning to look like lame ducks as Saturday’s results left the defending champions SIX…. S. I. X. points behind the leading duo of Dortmund and Valencia in their group
READ MORE…
This evening we would like to give a rundown of the top 4 youth cup performances from the weekend….
4. David Marsden - The Hamburg manager might be about as funny as England’s Euro 2016 performance but he has a knack of getting results when it matters with his Hamburg kids flying high, a credible 3 out of 3 and Marsden is unlucky to not be higher in the Top 4 managers of the week.
3. Francesco Signorile the Italian is the only manager not to speak any English yet thumbs up are international (as is the middle finger which was used by Roy Keane on Saturday) and he was delighted with 3 points to put their chances of making the next round very realistic.
2. Attila Olah The only manager to have won 4 out of 4 (Udinese) and he is a sure fire candidate for the Top 4 which included a good 1-0 over heavily fancied tournament backers AC Milan.
1. Bob «Groucho» Sal simply stunning performance by Sassuolo at Chelsea to win 2-0 and take over at the top of their group - last year they reached the later stages and it is looking likely they will do so again and with goalkeeper Sa having 2 YTOTW appearances in a row with back to back 10’s they could go far.
Group Tables have now been updated - please note some results have had to be amended due to some teams not following the rules and forgetting to change their teams.
Besiktas division 3 opinions
division 3 opinions from beskitas
Hi guys as game 9 approaches of what could be a very tough and tight division 3 league.I thought I’d give my opinions and my views as besiktas manager and my targets this season along with a few comments about some of my opposite numbers in division 3.
As I embark on my first full season with besiktas. The aim I have set my players and staff is to achieve a top 7 finish with the strength in depth this should be a fair target for my very experienced players but I no It won’t be easy with some top managers within division 3.
and on that note regarding my fellow rivals in division 3 i thought id give a little insight into how myself and the besiktas board view a few managers.
Frank at Genoa: what a top manager he is and should be in contention for promotion (obviously i cannot confirm or deny that i have received a cash incentive bribe from frank or any of is associates) i cant wait for my holiday to italy.
rahul w at Aston villa. seems to be doing a wonderful job at Aston villa and certainly will be a rival for me this season
kun al at galatasary:for obvious reasons here at besiktas we cant stand this man.he seems to have some bromance with broon at fenerbache which makes it worse.i guess that’s why 2 arrogant managers make a great couple.
golden bear at Monaco: Arguably the most underachieving manager in division 3. the guy has poor man management skills and should be ashamed of is current position. maybe hes to busy drinking beer on the boats in the harbor than looking after is team.
division 3 will be the closest league this season and im sure in 10 games time the table will look a lot more different with no doubt that the likes of Genoa will lose a match soon enough as hes the only unbeaten one and im sure most of us will drop points to other teams. who ever gets promoted this season will be in great shape to challenge in division 2 and for those unlucky to be relegated it will no doubt be more challenging to get back into division 3
i guess its that time were i must go as the players have a training session ahead of tonight’s game against crystal palace.
Balotelli the truth as reported in the unbiased Florentine press
Following recent rumours of cabal of managers wanting to smear Balotelli an independent reporter Roger Crook investigates Balotelli's inexplicable early season performance.
Roger Crook the famous investigative journalist , most famed for his investigations into illegal selling of collie fish instead of cod from the back of fish vans, which is where he first met up with Balotelli.
Mr Beddlows has claimed that there is sextet of managers who have it in for Balotelli. When Mr Crook interviewed Balotelli he had no idea what a sextet was and thought it was something to do with dirty messages being sent on his phone to ex girlfriend Fanny Neguesha seen here at the local swimming pool.
However MrMalcolm claims this is not the case. " How can I be orchestratiing things and pulling the strings at the same time , make up your mind Beddows , is this last night of the proms or punch and judy"
"I've seen what Beddlows is up to, feeding Balotelli raw meat before every game ".
Mr Crook thinks that could also be the problem. Balotelli is well known for munching a sirloin and has fondness for ready meals that were last seen running in the Derby seen below.
However a shocking new picture of Balotteli recently released proves all is not well.
Roger Crook promised the result of his investigation in the next few days..
BREAKING - Outrage in Milan
The Milan Managers office was not a happy place to be this evening as Manager Beddows flipped when it was discovered that a plot has been hatched against him and his players, namely Balotelli, who apparently has failed a drugs test.
“It is a scandal – a conspiracy” said Beddows
The Plotters:
Beddows declared that he has long suspected that a sextet of managers has been plotting day and night against Beddows due to jealously of the team spirit and limelight that he takes from them, among them 3 from Italian clubs. The chiefest of those managers has been Mister Malcolm, the Fiorentina dinosaur of SM who according to Beddows publicly questioned Balotelli’s form (13 goals in 8 games now) earlier in the season demanding that he be drug tested which has now apparently been completed...
Juventus manager DP then quickly joined in (ironic Beddows remarked – was it just a coincidence or part of a planned plot?) stating: “this is not right – I just cannot fathom how a player like Balotelli is scoring so many goals – there must be something amiss.”
The public endorsements of something amiss from two of T100 most vocal and dishonest managers set the rumour mill into a frenzy – Was Balotelli taking something? Was Beddows lying to all and sundry?
 |
| Mister Malcolm - Most dishonest Dinosaur? Were they really ever extinct? |
Mister Malcolm quickly set his media empire into action gathering allies – including David Senior (who he quickly made the BJ of the whole affair), Nuno Bento, Mark Stewart and a chief Beddows hater, Brian Clough.)
 |
| The Boris Johnson of the whole anti-Beddows campaign |
David Senior began: “How is it possible that a player scores 13 goals in 8 games, even Messi can’t do that – upon Malcolm’s advice I contacted Hogwarts, the Ministry of Magic and Sabrina the Teenage Witch at once to see if Beddows and Balotelli were indulging in the Dark Arts – but they refused to comment – which made me feel that something is definitely amiss.”
Next the reporters questioned Nuno who in broken English responded (much to Mister Macolms annoyance) “I not sure why I here… where are the superstars young that I want? Please help?” at which point the reporter realised that Nuno wasn’t a viable source of information.
They then questioned an unlikely ally of Malcom’s, Mr Mark Stewart, who like Nuno was clearly lost and simply answered “Baaaaaaaa” to every question that was put his way (DP was not amused – it was unclear whether this was down to Stewart’s answer OR the Malcolm’s selection of allies.)
DP then entered the fray – “We have analysed a sample of Balotelli’s hair and it is clear from this sample that he has been taking drugs. I know every player in this gameworld and own 50 of them and have 1000 on my shortlist and no player out performs their potential than Balotelli. The drug test was through and clear and 100% he has been taking performance enhancing drugs… the hair sample proves this…”
DP continued: “I am completely stunned that Frank Hirst, our great beloved leader refuses to enter the debate – he continues to pick him for TOTW when at Inter and other clubs there are far more eligible candidates… it is disgraceful and I have written Frank a strongly worded letter about all of this…”
David Senior then butted in… “Everyone knows Mario is S***… he was even mocked by Mister Malcolm post World Cup who called for him to be dropped – the laws of maths and physics simply do not match up – this level of achievement is witchcraft, unnatural – it would be like Wales reaching the semi-finals of a Major tournament – impossible…”
Mark Stewart with his sheep like features seemed to get excited about hearing the word Wales and bleated out a rather high pitch “baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa” at this point… leading the gathered press to further question the validity of the delegation.
And then the angriest of all the managers, Brian Clough entered the fray – “I f****** hate Beddows… him and his Milan band of brothers are a menace to this world and there is NO WAY, NO WAY that he is capable of putting together a professional outfit that is drug free to lead Division Two… it is f****** disgraceful…”
Some members of the press then asked Brian why his brother Roy (Real Madrid) wasn’t there… to which he replied… “Are you f****** stupid – with this rabble maybe he would have turned up but have you seen David Senior – he is spitting f****** image of that Yorkshire B****** that claims to be a M***… No chance!”
Malcolm seemed clearly flustered by this outburst and was unsure of how to proceed – with Nuno still searching the room for talent, Mark Stewart looking for grass, Brian Clough scowling, David Senior calling his lawyer and DP looking angrier than PMW in Leige…
 |
| PMW in Bruges with another friend earlier today |
“Balotelli has failed a drugs test – this much is clear – We cannot and will not tolerate breaking the rules or magic in T100 and he must be stopped – a 5 month ban I call for!”
“And off with Beddows’ head” added Senior before the journalists were ushered from the room.
Beddows Supporters: (The response)
Beddows laughed loudly after being shown a video cassette of the press conference and quickly summoned his own allies to fight his corner, first in the queue was chief Beddows admirer Ryan Chisholm who appeared to be under duress when addressing the media…
“My cousin and Balotelli have done nothing wrong – indeed they are a magic combination but this does not indicate sorcery or drugs…”
 |
| Chisholm doesnt believe the test results to be true |
Next up was Kinnear – the Liverpool manager is not Beddows’ biggest fan but he was happy to call down Mr DP – “DP is a man who loves the limelight – this fabrication of Balotelli’s hair testing positive for a banned substance – that is like suggesting that the whole of Syria was about to come to England via the channel tunnel in the next 12 months – how the hell would anyone be stupid enough to believe any of that?”
 |
| Kinnear has had enough of finding DP outside his house every morning - WTF! |
And finally another Beddows ally stepped up to the plate – Lee Reynolds (Dortmund) “I am 150% confident that Balotelli is innocent and his form is purely down to Beddows’ genius!”
These responses and support from the other managers did not dampen the hatred towards Beddows, Balotelli and Milan as the anti-Milan brigade continues to gather strength on Social Media this evening – with Mister Malcolm clearly pulling the stringers behind the scenes orchestrating every post, comment and share in the hope that he will gain Frank’s attention and get Balotelli banned or perhaps even better force him to move to Fiorentina.
David Marsden (Hamburg) questioned the validity of the defence and stated that support from a family member as clear evidence of Balotelli’s guilt, Bob Sal (Sassuolo) also took to his carrier pigeon sending his worry than drug misuse might spread through the gameworld and ruin the community and result in unfamiliar results if action was not taken swiftly…
Beddows himself refused to comment, so angry he was – he was seen disappearing from the Milan training ground as if by magic (Did he dissaperate?) late this evening and was later spotted at a Bunga Bunga party with an array of beautiful girls which he openly admits he acquires through talent, good lucks and hard cash NOT by magic…
What Frank thinks of this latest scandal to hit Milan and Top 100 remains to be seen but surely all will be revealed in due course.
THE THURSDAY BLOG Vol 3 No 2
Good afternoon gentlemen and welcome to another Thursday blog. I know it's Friday but that probably fits in with how my life is going at the moment. This blog is going to get emotional today as I have made a huge decision for me. On paper it looks an easy move but trust me, this wasn't and I have used a whole range of emotions before coming to what I know is the right decision for everyone involved but I am going to get started with the recent happenings in the Kinnear household and particularly last weekend which seen me being Mr Angry. Last weekend seen the annual Royal Highland Show at Ingliston in Edinburgh, not to be confused with the Ingliston where we keep one of the horses. On the Friday, my wife, Alison, asked if I fancied going this year. Now, I have never went as I left it to Alison and the girls to go enjoy the stuff that they like. It is all about livestock and the likes but there are other things that would suit almost everybody. Lots of stalls and competitions etc and I believe it is a thing worth experiencing.
I said to Alison that I would go for a change and she was happy at that. That night both the girls came home from work and said they wouldn't be going to the Show because, basically, they could not afford it. At £27 entry per person, I could sympathise with that. So I thought about the different scenarios and on the Saturday night I said that I wouldn't go because, to be honest, it's not my kind of thing while the girls love it. This would also give Alison some more money to spend on the shit they buy for the horses. I could go for a while on the things leading up to the show but to get to the point, it was agreed that Alison would go with Elise. I had to make them promise that they would get on well together and there wouldn't be any of the arguing that they have grown accustomed to. Janene, by the way, had managed to get going with her job as a show groom as the professional at Ingliston (stables) had decided to enter a couple of show jumping competitions at the last minute. This meant Janene was needed as his groom. To help them along I gave Alison £130 to help them enjoy it a bit more. Off they went on the Sunday while I stayed at home and happily waited for the EURO2016 games to come on. I always like to tidy up when I am in the house so I got plenty done and had the house looking good. When they came back just around 5pm they looked quite happy and had not argued once. 'Do you want to see what we got?' asking the question as if I had a choice of answers. Well, since they always brought me back something, whether it was even just some rum and raisin fudge (mmmmm better than sex) or a sweetie, I of course said yeah ok. A nice rug for one of the horses, some other horse thing and a couple of other things that I nodded approvingly at without actually known what they were. Great I said, you done quite well, while I wait to see what they got me. The bags were put away and they sat down. I am not one for holding any thoughts in so naturally I asked what they brought me back. 'Oh, we didn't get you anything. The fudge and sweet stall was over the other side and we were too knackered to go over'. I actually coped with that quite well. Never said anything. They said they were going to just have a lie down on the couches and I said that was fine and I would go upstairs and watch the Northern Ireland v Ukraine game. After that game the Germany game was coming on but I must have dozed off, waking up with the game at half time. Just at that, I got a text from Alison. It said 'Are you making the dinner?' I stared at that for a couple of minutes before I thought 'Are you fucking kidding me'. Now I was like Vesuvius on the edge of blowing and spouting the deadly lava.
I remained calm and sent a text back saying ' I suppose. I will be down in a minute.' I waited a minute before going down and still managed to stay remarkably calm. In the living room, Alison was lying on one couch and Elise on the other. It had obviously been a hard day having a good time. I snapped, will someone peel the potatoes please and headed for the kitchen. The text came 'Whats wrong with you?'. That was all I needed to get on my high horse, the only horse I actually like. So I let rip saying how they had been out all day, how I had given her money to help enjoy, how I stayed at home and tidied the house and then she had the bloody cheek to ask if I was making the dinner!!! That was me now blowing my top. She said to leave the dinner but that was a non starter. I wasn't giving her a chance to water down my argument. I ended my text with 'can someone peel the potatoes!!' That was twice I asked. She continued with her excuses about the fudge but I wasn't interested. Did she not realise she was talking to a Diva!! Elise shouted on me to come through. Obviously couldn't be bothered moving her fat ass off the couch. I just shouted through, if it's an excuse you have then I am not interested. That was her input finished. At this point, Janene comes in from her day at the show. She looks completely shattered and could do with her bed. Meanwhile, for the third time I send, 'Can someone peel the potatoes?' I am putting my masterpiece of a mince pie in the oven when Janene comes into the kitchen. I asked her what she was doing and she said mum sent her in to do the potatoes. I always thought that steam coming out of someone's ears was just a thing to say someone is angry but I can swear that there was steam coming out of mine. Well, Janene said she did see steam but I think I was standing in front of the kettle that I had put on to boil. I sent her away and peeled the potatoes myself along with sending a text saying how fucking dare she send Janene in to do the potatoes after she has just done a days hard work. That was more or less the end as it went quiet after that. I continued in angry mode and completed the dinner. Every bit was eaten, not one bit of mince pie or mashed potato remained and that is because I am a fucking awesome cook but I wont be taken advantage of.
Janene loves a pout
Recently it was noticed that Janene had been very protective of her phone. Now, I can't really say much about it as I am very protective of mine for reasons that should be known. However, any time Elise went near Janenes phone she freaked out just a bit too much so it doesn't take Sherlock to work out that she had something to hide. A new boy was the obvious choice but she wasn't for giving anything up, saying she didn't like anyone looking through her phone. Again, I can identify with that. The truth would eventually come out and a few days later Alison told me that it, indeed was a boy she was texting. She had met him in a nighclub and they were texting each other. I had my sensible head on and said to Alison that she was 19 and it was perfectly normal to be texting a boy. She had already had Shrek as a boyfriend so it was time to et her do her own thing. I couldn't believe I was saying that considering how protective I am of her. So no big deal? There is no such thing in this house as 'no big deal'. There is always something that causes some sort of disagreement shall we say. So the bombshell was about to come. I could feel it in my urine but what would it be? Alison gave me the answer to that. She tells me that Janene didn't want to tell me about the boy because she thought I would do my usual 'wanting to kill' act. I asked why she wouldn't tell me as she was only texting. Then it came. Alison says to me, the boy is 26. Boy? Fucking boy??? No boy I know is 26. A 26yo old is a man and what the fuck was he doing texting a 19yo!!! Get a grip son and go for a woman, not a wee lassie. Alison told me that she was meant to go out with him the previous Sunday but her bottle crashed and she never went. I have said on here before that she is 19 in age but is not mature. She is like 15 or 16 in her head. I kept a lid on it as I had said to Janene I would take her to work the next morning. When I took her it was obviously like question time. I stayed calm and asked about him. I said she was 19 and I couldn't stop her doing what she wanted. I asked how they met and she told me about the nightclub and then I asked what happened, as in kissing etc. She said they had kissed a few times, no doubt snogged would be a better description. I said nothing and instead looked out the side window as we waited on the traffic lights to go green. She asked if I was angry. In a quiet tone I just answered yes. We never spoke the rest of the journey. The next day at home I gave her a big hug and told her I hadn't fallen out with her and I didn't blame her but did say I thought he was bang out of order. I believe she has stopped texting now coz she loves her daddy and doesn't like when he is upset. She is my baby girl and I will have to eventually let her go and I will do so as long as the boy is around her age for now.
That little story takes me nicely on to my state of mind right now, today. I was angry at Janene texting a boy of 26. I am the biggest fucking hypocrite alive. As you know, Gemma, my girlfriend is 31 years my junior so what right do I have to be annoyed with my daughter. Well, this played on my mind and this morning I ended my relationship with Gemma. It was one of the hardest things I had to do and I hated the fact that I was doing it by MSN messenger but I couldn't do it face to face as I would fail. It was difficult writing it out and I must admit my emotions were high. Tears in my eyes as I wrote it because she might be 31 years young than me but she is an amazing girl and I love her a lot but I have to look at the future and although she was quite willing for us to find somewhere to live together, I think it would be madness. Her family would have disowned her and there would have been so many obstacles that there is a chance it could all fall apart and where would that leave us.
Gemma(left) with her pal. Heartbroken.
I think I have done the right thing and this is where I have to thank you guys because this blog gives me the opportunity to tell it as it is. Everyone in the house has someone to talk to if they need to pour their heart out and it is always me that they come to because they know that whatever they tell me stays with me and I will give them advice if it is what they want. So who do I go to? Well, no one. There is not one person I can go to or trust enough to spill out my heart on things. I have to bottle up everything that affects me. I am glad I can therefore use this blog to do it and I know that the guys that read this will be only to happy to help. I have to sort my head out and choose a path and that path is going to be right here with my family. I know they all love me and in return I go and shag a young lassie for the past 4 or 5 years. So, today is the start of a new attitude and hopefully I can get my head on straight and enjoy what I have right in front of my nose. As for Gemma, her reaction to my message was to block me. I am not condemning her decision to block me as she will have her reason for it. It could be her way of telling me to fuck off then or she could be so upset that she thinks that's the best way to deal with it. One thing I know is that she will appear at some point. That may be when she goes to her mum's as my bus route stops right outside her mum's door or she could appear online. This time I know I have to be strong and stick by my decision and tell her I am happy to be friends with her and talk to her but that's all it can be.
Well here we are at July 1st and we are still able to use the old SM interface. I am more than happy about that but I do notice that the new UI has changed quite a lot. It seems to be vastly improved and I am beginning to think that they are listening to the people and are trying to make the new UI more attractive to us older players. I have been using the new UI on my phone when I am a work and I am getting used to it but I do still think there is a lot of room for improvement. On the phone app there is not enough information on the pages. The squad list tells you nothing except the players age and rating. I couldn't look at it and see instantly who is on transfer ban. I have to click on the player to get his details up and I find that time consuming and irritating. I can't move around my clubs without having to go to the home page first which again is time consuming and irritating. I am slowly getting to know my way around but I am still not convinced that it will ever be as good as the old UI.
I currently have 8 clubs on SM and although I would like to cut that by one or two, there are none that I would want to quit. Top100 is obviously the top world that I check first all the time and that's followed by the Ash. Coming up on the rails now though is Jason Hines' Brookfield Premier League. I am not sure where he got the title from but I find it pretty cool that Brookfield is a small village just outside Johnstone and a village that I drive through quite a lot. Anyway, I have always enjoyed that set up from my early days of taking on Hibernian and getting them promoted to Division 2 to now being manager of Borussia Dortmund. Transfers at the top end are not easy but there have been plentiful recently and there was a huge boost when some successful promoting by Rahul brought many players to the set up and that has seen it rise from about 50% full to just 1 club short of a full house. The new season is just about to start (Sunday) and it looks as though it is going to be very competitive. As I write this, RC Deportivo are the only club left unmanaged and although they would need a lot of work it would be great if someone was willing to take up that challenge and give Jason a full house. He works well with the world and although we have had a couple of varying views on things, I still think he is a good owner.
At Liverpool, things are going reasonably well so far. The first team are lying 7th in the table after 8 games and I can't complain about that. 3 wins and 3 draws gives us 12 points and I thought we were unlucky not to steal a point last night against one of the title favourites, Bayern Munich. As expected they had most of the game, being at home but we defended well and restricted them on chances while trying to sneak one at the other end. Eventually we went down 1-0 but we have shown that we are ready to compete in the top half of the table this season and I am delighted with the effort and commitment from the boys. Lacazette has responded brilliantly to my criticism of him and grabbed the goal that gave us the win at Fiorentina. His contribution has improved overall and he seems to be enjoying his new position on the right hand side.
Lacazette has improved by leaps and bounds
Szczesny is another one that I have to give praise to. He had a poor season last year and I am sure he will hold his hands up to that but this season has seen a big improvement and the fact that we have conceded just 7 goals in the 8 games is proof of that. We are working hard as a team and they are playing for each other. We have some star names but not one player thinks he is better than the rest and that is doing only good things for the team. We have a big test coming up over the next three games with Rafael being suspended and Luis being injured. This means our two full backs are out at the same time and I need to decide who I can depend on to fill they places. Maksimovic seems the sensible answer to the right back position but the left back one is a bit more tricky with Mendy and De Bock both having a case to be picked. Hopefully we can keep the form going despite this setback and I am confident that I will still be the Liverpool boss next season as my own target of beating 38 points and not being relegated looks like succeeding.
The youths are doing well in their own Youth Cup competition and are joint top of the group with Atletico Madrid. A 2-1 win over Stuttgart was a good one to get under the belts especially since we picked up the other win by default after Atletico Madrid fielded the biggest hairy arsed boys you will ever see in your life. The Captain, Benjamin Mendy is doing a great job on the pitch and it is easy to see why he may get a run in the big team. Inaki Williams is another big influence in the team and if they can keep the good work up and qualify for the knock out stages then anything can happen. The Youth Cup would look good in the trophy room.
The same can't be said for the World Club Cup as we sit joint bottom of our group with just one point from three games. We were unlucky not to get anything from the trip to Fenerbahce, going down 2-1, but on the bright side, we are going to be able to experiment in the rest of the games and try and give the likes of Williams and Lucas Vazquez some first team experience. All in all though, the team spirit and the mood around the club is excellent and we are looking forward to the rest of the season and hopefully we can gain a European place when it's all done and dusted.
Well that is it for another Thursday blog. It's been fun writing it and it's been a big help to be able to get some things off my chest and put them down in print.
Next blog thing for me is at the beginning of next week when I plan to do a quarterly report on Division 1 as a follow up to my season preview. I will offer my thoughts on how each side has performed and will also compare it to my predicted finish for each club and good or bad I feel my predictions are looking.
Until then, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it. Time for me to go and do some housework since no other fucker does it.
Ciao
Inter Milan - A Graveyard of Failures
AC Milan were as ever delighted to welcome a former failed Inter manager to the San Siro tonight which resulted in 180 minutes of the Milan fans chanting taunts to 2x former Inter Milan managers and the current 1 as well.
Read More for the chants and match report….
Milan are so good at the moment that even Roy Keane is calling up Beddows asking for advice and the Milan fans are so delirious with success that they were in full voice tonight and in particular were chanting about the current and former Inter Milan fans who they hate more than Steve Mclaren hates Geordies.
Tonight Milan faced Anderletcht and PMW, a manager with apparently with more photoshopped women than Benfica have on their shortlist, Milan obviously took the lead through Mario early on to a huge roar around the San Siro as their hero cannot stop scoring, with goals being his currency at the moment and that led the San Siro faithful to launch into their favourite song about PMW…
One Milan fan chants… “PM Who?” and the rest respond… “hahahahaha” and it goes on and on… poor PMW who couldnt cope with the pressure at a big club and had to go to a Madrid monastery to find himself again could not cope with the taunts of the Milan fans…
Who continued… “PM Who?” “hahahahahahaha”….
And then they came up with a new song about PMW… to the tune of “I will survive”… and the lyrics go… “Why did you go? Why did you walk out of the door? How did you fail at Inter? Did you have a breakdown? Weren’t you the one we all laugh at every day…"
[youtube=www.youtube.com/watch
And then there is the former Inter Milan manager Doctor Fox, another who couldnt compete with Beddows’ ego and failed miserably in the fashion capital and the Milan fans happily borke into their favourite song about him…
“Dr Fox, Dr Fox, chiamando Dr Fox,… Dr Fox Dr Fox fuck off now…” and this continued as it does regularly at Milan home games with the Milan fans showing their hatred of the former Inter manager…
[youtube=www.youtube.com/watch
And they didnt spare the current Inter Milan manager either Mr Brain Clough… chanting about him…
“Brian Clough pezzo di merda… Brian Clough pezzo di merda…"
before breaking into a tune which is a favourite of the Rossoneri…
“Where is the Clough” sang to the tune of “Where is the Love”
“Where is the Clough, where is the Clough, where is the Clough… He is a pezzo di merida… he is a pezzo di merda…"
[youtube=[www.youtube.com/watch](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6G4ly0hIThY&w=320&h=266])
Milan then wrapped up 3 points late on to make it 3 wins out of 3 in the World Club Cup as they are now unbeaten in 27 games… and sung songs about Beddows all evening…