Fannie to fannies: The interviews, number 5, STEPHEN BEDDOWS (AC Milan)


Good afternoon guys and she is back!. Fannie Licker has returned and she is bigger and better (her words not mine although bigger is a good word to use) than before. An unfortunate incident, involving her now ex-boyfriend, left her depressed and she thought about packing it all in before finally getting her act together and deciding to come back. She is not quite the same as she was before as the depression made her go on the infamous seafood diet but I will let her tell you about that as it’s not really my place. So, let’s not waste any more time and get this, the fifth, interview underway. I give you ……… Fannie Licker!!!!!

Hi guys, I am back!! I may be a teensy weensy bit bigger than before but I am still the same girl inside. I am on the way back to the way I used to be after the unfortunate incident with my boyfriend. To put it bluntly, he was too weird with the stuff he wanted to do. I wasn’t going to say anything about it but what the hell. He knew I would do anything for him so, you know the cardboard tubes you get? The one that you are left with when the tin foil runs out? Well, he wanted me to stick that up his bum. OMG was all I could think of at the time but I eventually relented and done as he wished. He then, and this is the bit that upsets me, wanted me to put Snowball, my pet hamster, down the tube and into his bum. What a weirdo!! Poor Snowball never had a chance. Down he went inside the tube but disaster struck when my boyfriend, unexpectedly let off a huge fart. Poor Snowball was fired out that tube like a cannonball and splatted against the wall. I was terribly upset. That was the end of Snowball and also the end of my boyfriend, who I told to leave. Dumped, and I never want to see him ever again. The loss of Snowball put me into depression and I couldn’t stop eating as my picture below shows but I have now got over it with lots of help from my doctor and I am on my way back to my former self.

I am losing weight again  🙂

Anyway, I am glad to get that off my chest and now it is time to introduce you to today’s Top100 manager. This guy has done so much to help the Top100 be the success it is and although it looks like his time in Division 1 is over, he is still very popular with at least another 3 managers, who asked not to be named. I give you the manager of Italian minnows AC Milan, Mr Stephen Beddows!!

Welcome Stephen, the man the fans love to hate, and let’s get started with your personal profile.

STEPHEN BEDDOWS – PERSONAL PROFILE


Full Name:  Stephen Beddows
Born: 26/12/1984
Height: 5’11’
Nickname: Beddows
Favourite Sports teams: Man Utd, Burton Albion, ENGLAND!
Favourite food: Steak
Favourite drink: Beer
Favourite band/singer: don’t really have one
Favourite all time song: too many to name
Favourite Colour: red
Favourite animal: dogs and tigers
Favourite film: too many to name
Your Car: Vauxhall corsa
Best Friend: my daughter

What phone do you have: Nokia Lumia 640
Best sport to watch: football… (rugby, cricket and tennis IF England are playing Or that Jock Murray)
What scares you most: not being able to pay my bills
Phone, iPad or laptop to play SM: laptop and phone
Embarrassing moment: Dunno
Ever won anything on the lottery: refuse to answer this one
If you could have any job in the world what would it be: Teach English to footballers at a foreign professional club
Who would you most like to meet (dead or alive): I like my family history and my gg grandfather fascinates me, born in Athol Street in 1875, in Liverpool, he had a very interesting life.
If you could attend any sporting event in the world what would it be: World Cup Final all day long 

Thanks for that Stephen, a couple of abstentions there but that is your right. Let’s move on to the interview and a chance for you to put forward your views to the AC Milan fans.

FL:  Stephen, it’s been quite a season for you with poor form, controversy and criticism being just some of the problems for the team. What has changed from last season that has seen Milan now favourites for relegation?

SB:  Well I joined mid-season last season and just maintained the status-quo to be honest. This season has been a struggle as I think I have been too reluctant in some parts to make the necessary changes in the transfer market etc which is something I have done a little, but perhaps not enough. I also didn’t dedicate as much time as I should have tactically to studying the opposition but hopefully since the Lyon win things have begun to change, despite two narrow defeats away to both Atletico and Juve.



FL:  The defence in particular have performed way below expectations. Is there a lack of leadership at the back and is that your responsibility and something that you have failed with?

SB:  I think that it was an issue but hopefully the signing of Barzagli has bought in the leadership that we lacked. It is great to keep young prospects like Umiti but in all fairness it was a necessary call to bring in Andrea to help steady the ship and we feel he can do that leading into season 3 as well should we manage to stay up.


 

FL:  Social media has been awash with rumours that have unsettled the club and fans are particulalry concerned that you are being mixed up with the wrong sort of company and don’t have the best interests of the club at heart. Do you have any comment on these rumours?

SB:  No comment.

FL:  It is believed that you have been working with and are quite close to well known journalist/gangster Gino Kinnearo. How would you describe your relationship with him?
SB: Gino is a top journalist who only publishes the truth and some within the media don’t like that the truth is being reported. Some within the media like Malcolm for example go as far as to making up their own awards evenings and producing staged pictures of the event like he did so last season when he claimed that Fiorentina won “Italian Team of the Year.” And DP doesn’t have any journalist friends whatsoever and has resorted to making his own Youtube channel to broadcast his achievements… I mean how sad!


 

FL:  Back to the football and with relegation on the horizon, are you in fear of your job? The Italians are known for hiring and firing at the bat of an eyelid. You must be feeling under pressure and the fans on the terracing are looking for some action to be taken at management level and maybe higher. Is resigning an option for you or are you determined to see this through?
SB:  With the future of the gw perhaps in question I would ask is there anyone who doesn’t fear for their job? No, I don’t fear for my job, in fact I welcome the pressure that this relegation fight is bringing, sleepless nights, having to pre-plan evenings out it is just like having a baby all over again.

FL:  Do you feel the players have let you down on the pitch with experienced ones such as Balotelli, Honda and Abate not performing to the expected level?

SB:  Well your research is pretty poor to be honest Fannie as if you’d done your research you’d clearly know that Honda and Abate have left the club this season. Balotelli is our leader and top goalscorer… and continues to make a remarkable contribution to the side.
FL: What? These players have been sold??? Timothy!!!!!!!, Timothy!!!!!!!  ahh, there you are. Listen, Timothy, you’re fired. Get to fuck out of the building.

 
FL:  Ok, moving on. Timothy, get out!!!! You are sacked!!!!  sorry, are there any positives you can take from the season? The Milan youths have done relatively well in the Youth Cup. Does this augur well for the future?
SB:  Yes we have done well and I have just learnt that due to the expanded format and need for an extra side in “Pot 1” that Milan due to their amazing 5-4 defeat to noisy and Leverkusen in the Youth Cup 2nd Round have been upgraded to Pot 1… great decision by the Youth Cup management. But all in all I feel that our first XI in the youth cup is quite strong and definitely capable of reaching the knock-out stages again next season.


14 goals for Balotelli this season

FL:  If you are manager next season do you think it will be a complete rebuild of the team and do you think Division 2 will be the best place for this to happen?
SB:  I think we would be more competitive in Division Two, but we would like to be in Division One of course.


FL:  The final question is standard for all managers. If you could manage any club in the Top 100 who would it be?

SB:  AC Milan!
Thank you Stephen and the best of luck in a tough fight against the drop.
Well, there you have it. Stephen seems a confident manager and is quite sure he will still be at the helm next season in Division 2. Ok, ok, IF he is in Division 2 but we all know he will be. He refused to divulge what happen outside of the club and the fans will not be happy that he wouldn’t deny any dodgy goings on with unsavoury characters. The question has to be asked if Beddows is linked with any sort of crime organisation and it remains to be seen if the AC Milan board will act on his refusal to comment. The reaction of the fans at the next home game will be interesting and Beddows may find himself under a lot of pressure and a possible investigation into his activities. He has admitted links to Gino Kinnearo, who is suspected of being a gangster as well as a dodgy journalist. I am sure more will be revealed in the coming weeks but for the moment nothing has been proved so Stephen is ”innocent” Hahahahahahahahaha.
Anyway, it’s time to move on and that is it for this week. I thank you for taking time to read the interview and who knows, it could be you I question next time. So until then I thank you once again and I believe Gino will be back on Thursday with the Thursday Blog. Strangely, he has also been absent for a while but I am sure he will give you his reasons on Thursday. There is absolutely no link between myself and Gino and no truth in the rumour that he is my ex-boyfriend with a hamster fetish. Until next time,
Ciao

  




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