Never good enough to be a winner, not even good enough to finish second... who are the managers who scrape third place the most often?

Oh, shit, it's me! (FIVE, if I manage it again this season.)

Keeping me company, for the moment at least is DP 91 with FOUR 3rd place finishes.

Neil Frankland, Frank Hirst, Jay Jones, Roy Keane, Andy Kelly, Mark Phelps and Mr TRX all have THREE thirds. As does Gursimran Brar (or is it tow and a half?).

Dan Wallace, Roberto Downinho, James Mckenzie, Josh McMillan, Greg Owen, Scott Mckenzie, and Mike Scallotti all have TWO each.

You've got to be in it to win it, so there's no disgrace at all in finishing second in the table (even if it might be a bitter pill at the time).

It's no surprise, therefore, to see that many of the most titled managers are also those who have finished as runners-up more times than other managers, too. If only the rest of us mere mortals knew what they are smoking...

Btw, in case you were wondering, all of this data is available here.

Top of the no. 2s is James Mckenzie with SIX seconds!

Mike Scallotti has FIVE second place finishes, all with different clubs.

Then there's Gursimran Brar, ruts... and Scott Mckenzie on FOUR each.

Rob Ryan has THREE.

Gareth Crisp, Dan Wallace, Roberto Downinho, DP 91, Doug Earle, Chris East, Gav Harmer, Frank Hirst, Roy Keane, Luis Andre Libras-Boas, Paul Masters, Mike T, Nathan Prince, Bob 'Groucho' Sal, and Mr TRX all have TWO each to their names.

Unsurprisingly, Scott Mckenzie leads the way. His EIGHT D1 titles alone would be more than enough, but he's since added two more with Sao Paulo as he's taken them from the bottom of D5 to the brink of the top four in D1.

Now, with three games to play, we have a three-way tie for second place. In pole position (after last night's results) to make it SIX titles is Luis Andre Libras-Boas.

Just behind him, waiting for a great slip-up, is James Mckenzie, of course.

Also on FIVE titles is Gursimran Brar.

On FOUR titles is the old dinosaur himself Mr TRX.

On THREE titles we have Roberto Downinho, The Godfather, Andy Kelly, Kev Mcgregor, Paddy D and Mark Stewart.

Joining them will be Dan Wallace, who has already wrapped up the D5 title with Shakhtar this season, adding to his titles with Barcelona in S15 and S16.

Adam, Heath Brown, Joao Alves, Dave Inglis, Michael H, Attila Olah, Rahul, ruts..., Mike Scallotti and Niall Taylor all have two titles.

83 points needed to guarantee the title... the maximum points both Chelsea or Hellas Verona can get is 83.... Of course, they meet at Stamford Bridge in the final game of the season!

it would be a sixth title for Chelsea and manager James Mckenzie, but the first time they have won two in a row since S13 and S14.

Verona manager ALB is hoping for a second D1 title in three seasons.

Five clubs are battling to reach 70 points for the remaining two places in the Top Four: Porto, Barcelona, Dortmund, Bayern and Sao Paulo. It may be that 70 points won't be enough this time to guarantee a top four place.

On 61 points are Andre Guerra's eternal bridesmaids Porto, looking to equal their best ever finish of 3rd in S15. Another frustrating season in the end after such a bright start.

Barcelona are one point behind Porto. They also led the table for some time midway, but have dropped back since.

The Spanish giants have finished outside the top three on only three occasions - S1, S8 and S21, although to be fair the end of the Wallace era and the beginning of new manager Adam's reign saw something of a rebuild underway.

Dortmund are level with Barcelona, and also topped the table at one point during the season. A top four finish would be the club's best ever.

If they manage that, their last five seasons will have seen finishes in 10th, 9th, 8th, 5th and 3rd/4th. You would fancy them to challenge strongly for the title next season with that progression.

Two points away in 6th, Bayern Munich are on course to achieve their average position in ten full seasons under "Mister Consistency" manager Bojan.

Sao Paulo weren't quite good enough to win D5 in S16, but six season's later they have an outside chance of finishing in the top four of D1 in their first season with the big boys.

With 56 points needed for a top ten place, Juventus, Leicester and Benfica are favourites to remain in those positions.

Six points adrift of Sao Paulo, Juventus will be disappointed with their season after coming 3rd last time. They averaged 5th place under DP 91, and 7th and 3rd in two seasons under Kevin Mcgregor.

Leicester City look set to achieve their first ever top ten finish in the top division Under manager Doug Earle, a feat he managed three times in four seasons at Atletico Madrid, back in the day.

Benfica really consolidated as a D1 team under previous managers Mark Stewart and ruts... and haven't finished outside the top ten since S17.

The bottom half of D1:

38 points needed to avoid the sack, 43 to avoid relegation....

Villa and Valencia are already down. The lowest points totals ever for 20th was Southampton's 12 last season, while Schalke amassed a meagre 21 points to finish 19th in S12.

Fenerbahce need four more points to equal the lowest ever points total for a team finishing 18th in D1 (record currently held by Dortmund in S5).

Manchester United under new manager Tharani need another nine points from five games to reach the magic 43 points total. Unlikely, but not impossible.

Espanyol need another four points, which seems more likely. Manager Glen Mullan is keen to avoid his side becoming a yo-yo team with what would otherwise be a third relegation from the top flight in five seasons.

A disappointing season for Real Madrid. Level on points with Espanyol, you would think they will survive, but after finishing sixth in manager Rob Ryan's first season in charge this has been a season to forget.

Despite a brief renaissance and a 3rd place under Andy Kelly in S17, arguably the club never recovered from Roy Keane's decision to sell all his ratings for youth in S6 and then appointing Beddows when it all went tits up.

The fans will surely not tolerate another relegation?

S18 Champions Arsenal are hovering dangerously close to the relegation zone on 40 points. After seasons of mediocrity under Michael Bowes, manager Heath Brown broke the Barcelona/Chelsea dominance in D1.

Atletico Madrid are on 41 points, 2 from "guaranteed" safety. More of the same from manager Gav Harmer.

Bayer Leverkusen are level with Atletico on points, and have never managed more than two straight seasons in D1. Staying up this season will mean a third straight season in D1 Under manager Marco G - arguably Leverkusen's greatest ever manager.

Genoa have 42 points and should be fine.

Ten teams are still plausibly in with a chance to go up from D2 with five games left to play:

57 points has been enough in recent seasons to guarantee a playoff place. Realistically, the final two playoff spots are between Hertha, Udinese, Sporting, Schalke and Celtic.

It would be an amazing first for Celtic, who look certain to finish in their highest ever position barring an end of season wipeout.

If Schalke can make the playoffs it will be their best finish since S13.

Sporting had their best ever season in S20 when they finished 4th in D2, although last season they narrowly avoided relegation.

Udinese have reached the playoffs in two of the last four seasons under manager Mark Stewart. They must be a good bet to do it again this time.

Hertha's history shows steady evolution from a D5 side to D1 under three progressive managers, Mark Stewart (three consecutive division titles), Rahul (D3 title), and Dan W (promotion to D1).

After a couple of impressive top six finishes in D1, manager Regan Thompson chose revolution over evolution resulting in a couple of yo-yo seasons before settling in mid-table of D2.

With 65 points needed to be "certain" of promotion in the top three, Manchester City are as good as there, Levante look set to follow them, and the final automatic place will be between Milan, Stoke and Internacional.

Internacional have won the D2 title twice before under former boss Roberto Downinho (now at Cruzeiro) in S7 and S11. They also won the D2 playoffs in S16 under Nuno Marques just before I drove him crazy.

Since their promotion to the top flight in S7, they've never spent more than two consecutive seasons in D2. This is their second consecutive season in D2 under new boss Paul Masters, so the fans will have high expectations....

Stoke made the D2 playoffs in three of manager Seb C(ampillo)'s nine previous seasons as manager, winning the final in S15.

Milan look set for their best finish under manager Andrew Bailey, building on a series of impressive cup wins in the previous two seasons. They've been promoted from D2 on four previous occasions - in S3 (Beddows), S9 (title under Paddy D), and S14 and S16 (including a playoff final win under Alex Borel).

Although they've never managed to play more than two consecutive seasons in D1, this is Milan's fifth consecutive season in D2, the longest they've spent out of the top flight in their history.

79 points are required to guarantee the title in D2.

That's just out of reach for Levante, but they look sure to push Manchester City all the way to secure their second promotion to D1 in ten seasons under manager Salvatore Zerbo.

Manager Alex McLean is in his third spell as City boss. His best ever season was his first, finishing fifth in D1 in S7, improving one place on Paddy D's sixth place finish the previous season.

A rebuild and relegation followed, but it was Mark Deadman who took them back to D1 in S13. City enjoyed eight seasons in D1 under Deadman and Doc (aka Jamie H), until McLean return for a third time and relegated them in his first season back at the helm.

He looks set to make amends this time around and could win City their first ever title.

46 points are usually required to guarantee avoiding the bottom three and the sack in D2, and this season I expect it will be a few points less.

The table now, with five games to play:

Werder Bremen are as good as gone and look set to return to D3 next season for the first time since S14.

Facing a second successive relegation, Southampton are almost certain to join them, for the first time since S12.

Celta Vigo are five points adrift of safety, and it's hard to see how they can survive on current form. Their stay in D2 will have been just two seasons, if that's how it turns out.

Like Southampton, Everton face consecutive relegations, and also like Southampton would be playing D3 football for the first time since S12.

West Brom are two points clear of the drop zone, and just finding a little form under new manager Paddy D. If they do go down, they will be another like Southampton and Everton going from D1 to D3 in two seasons.

PSG are three points clear, but relegation would be the worst season in their history.

Promoted Anderlecht will be hoping to avoid an immediate return to D3. With a four point cushion, you would think they will survive.

Liverpool also have a four point cushion. The club finished a creditable 4th last season, but like PSG, relegation would be their worst season ever.

River Plate should feel safe enough already, but they've found it impossible to establish themselves in D2 for more than a couple of seasons after three promotions in eight seasons. Rumours are that manager Jones is ready to jump ship....

Koln were in D5 five seasons ago, and were promoted last season for their first ever season in D2. Like River Plate, they can probably feel comfortable enough barring total collapse in their final games.

The bottom three look doomed, and the final relegation place could be between Everton and Anderlecht.

The top half of D3 with five games to go:

With 60 points needed to be sure of a playoff place, the current top four look sure to have that covered.

Zagreb looked to be running away with it at the halfway stage, but have taken just 20 points form 14 games since. They seem to have recovered their form in time to get them over the finishing line and a return to D2. (Zagreb were relegated from D2 in the unluckiest fashion possible - equal on points, goal difference and goals scored with River Plate.)

Swansea have managed 26 points from 14 games since half-time in the season, and they are currently the team in form. If they can win all five remaining games they might just beat Zagreb to the title....

71 points would usually guarantee promotion, so it's likely to be between "D1 team" Inter and my Hamburger. The two teams meet at the Volksparkstadion in the penultimate game of the season. Both were on 33 points after 19 games, so Inter may just have the slight edge. They certainly have more quality, and more first team depth.

Palace are on a terrible run of form at the moment. If they can turn it around and win promotion, it would be the first time in the club's history that they have reached D2.

West Ham are also seeking promotion to D2 for the first time.

Flamengo suffered back-to-back relegations from D2 to D4, and are now trying to win back-to-back promotions to return to D2 under new boss Carl Martin.

Of the chasing pack, Malaga are behind Flamengo only on goal difference. This is their first ever season in D3.

Spurs and Sunderland might have a chance of the playoffs if Palace can't recover their form. Of the two, the Black Cats seem to be in the best form in the second half of the season to take advantage.