Mony a mickle maks a muckle at Christmas



Liege Christmas Market (Genuinely)

Twas the minutes before market, when all through the square,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a bear.
The stalls were set up, goods placed down in rows,
In hopes that the shoppers would appear in their droves.


What the sellers didn’t expect, however, was a knackered old blue and white bus. It was the 6th annual SMACK function, SMACK being the Scottish Manager’s Annual Christmas Knees-up, and the German Market in Liege was this year’s chosen destination. Once a year, club rivalries are put to one side, club crested shirts are lovingly screwed up and dropped on the floor, Tartan Army shirts are donned and the Tam O’Shanter is placed carefully upon yer heid.

As the tyres screeched to a halt, the rumble of the engine ceased, and the black smoke from the exhaust cleared. The doors opened slowly and Bruin was the first to stumble out, closely followed by Walter Smith, the Messrs McKenzie, Jimmy Gouldie, Kevin McGregor, Niall Taylor, Kevin Wallace and Alex McLean, Tenants Super still in hand.


“Let me count yer wee nappers, 1, blue, 3, D, 5, 6, G, 8, 9 including me.” Bruin was in charge of counting after getting an early Christmas present from his parents, a Gold Stars Starting to Count book. “We’re 2 short. Where are Gino and Garry?”

An almost inaudible shout came from inside the bus, “Haud yer wheesht!” then, slightly clearer, “It’s sweltering on the continent int it no? Taps aff lads!” Garry Crawford and Gino Kinnear confidently strode down the steps, bare-chested smearing factor 50 on themselves.


“Ach man it’s startin to get heavin’ here, don’t be getting oot yer nut lads, we’ve got a full night here and we dunnae want anyone acting a radge oot on the skite. Once you find a swick boozer, ge us guys a call and we’ll get tae finding ye. Nae-where expensive though right? Afterall, mony a mickle maks a muckle.”

With Gino’s advice ringing in their ears, the Scots splintered into groups in search of cheap Belgian lager.

On the opposite side of the square, Vendendriessche Waffles had queues starting to build up. This was Davy’s 3rd year as a stall holder. After struggling to get any substantial transfer backing from the president of Club Brugge, Davy turned to his second passion, tasty desserts. Crepes and waffles, loaded with strawberries, chocolate sauce and whipped cream provided a great supplemental income. His stall had very quickly become a firm favourite at the Liege market, with his popularity in the City starting to surpass that of local legend James Foster. 

In his queue were Beddows, Balotelli, Nick Wheels and Big Barbs. The foursome had made it an unofficial tradition to double date at markets around the globe, ever since that fateful night in Sao Paolo. Christmas markets aren't quite as magical in South America's largest city, mainly due to the lack of snow, but waffles, waffles are universally adored regardless of the weather. After collecting their seperate orders, the quartet bonded after realising all four of them were reaching for spoons from the cutlery tray.

As usual, it was Beddow's who ended up with cream all over down his chin, and as usual it was caused by him trying to gobble Balotelli's piece. Big Barbs handed Wheels a napkin and he got to wiping Beddow's face for him.

"Hou's it gaun Steven?" Unaware to the lovestruck foursome, Walter Smith, Niall Taylor and Jimmy Gouldie were stood behind them, awaiting their deep fried crepes.


"Errrr it's not what it looks like" Beddows stuttered, "I fell over holding my waffle and got cream on my chin..."

"Aye right, yer aff yer heid if you think we're gon te believe that" Walter scoffed, "Onyhoo we're aff te get a hot dog, Crawford said they're pure dead brilliant."

As the lads weaved their way through the crowds of festive shoppers they heard commotion up ahead. They passed the sweet stalls, past the Art stall where Doug Earle was trying to peddle his brother's latest psychedelic Christmas Pudding piece to James and Scott, even past Santa's grotto, who everyone kept confusing for Tom Parfitt due to his big bushy beard.

Soon they found themselves staring in amazement at an argument between 2 customers and a Bratwurst seller.

"What do you mean you don't sell burgers?! Do you know who I am?!" Marsden was seething. "Burgers are the foundation of any nutritious diet. Chicken burgers, steak burgers, turkey burgers, cheese burgers, veggie burgers, well maybe not veggie burgers..."

Walter Gogh tried in vain to drag Marsden away from the throng of onlookers, "It's not worth it David, they don't know what they're missing..."

"Just a Hamburger, that's all I'm asking for, with some sauce, raw sauce!!" a sobbing Marsden was finally subdued by Walter and placed into the nearest taxi with distinct orders to get him to a McDonalds pronto.

The argument had caused a few of the crowd to become rowdy and a riot was starting to break out. The locals wanted rid of the visitors. Mulled wine was thrown at the Germans, cheeses at the Swiss, and a small band of Belgians attempted to wrestle back the waffles and crepes from the Scots.


"Ah dinnae ken what's goin on here, you're all oot yer face, it's geein me the boak. Yeh can take my freedom, but ye cannae take my waffles. We're off lads. Yeh dinnae get behaviour like that in Glasgow, the bampots." Gino had decided enough was enough. This year's SMACK function had come to an end. The lads made their way back to the bus, bemoaning the lack of drinking on the trip. Aside from the 22 crates they'd had on the way down to the Chunnel, the wine and stubbies they bought and drank in France, and the Buckfast they'd stored on the coach for the return trip, they'd not touched a drop.

"We're goin tae the pub when we get back, you're a long time deid and we've nae got te feeling pished yet" the Kevin's cried.


Rebuild and Reload: FC Basel Transfer Review S6


Rebuild and Reload!

The date: October 30th, 2017. England's Matt "Chopper" Morris was appointed as manager of FC Basel in Switzerland. A bold move to bring a new manager into the great league of Top 100. An ambitious hiring, with the goal of restoring the roar to St. Jakob park, for the bright lights to shine brighter than ever. Matt Morris arrived at Basel with an objective, a mission to bring talented young players to the club, build a squad with tremendous potential and skill. To put together a group of lads that could win immediately, and in time develop into exceptional football players.

The Englishman came with determination, to rebuild and reload FC Basel . Reset the club, and the players, begin to construct a football academy that would become world renowned in the future. To guide, teach, and train young footballers. To see them grow into men, grow into heroes, icons, and legends at FC Basel. Now, after his first month at the helm, "Chopper" has begun to do just that...

St. Jakob Park

Many new players have arrived at St Jakob Park, players that the faithful supporters can be quite excited about. Morris immediately went to work at his new club, making phone calls, scouting, and scouring the world of football for potential new Basel players. His first signing, and currently the most important one, a player Morris has named his "Talisman"; Portugese winger, Armindo Bruma! 


Bruma was signed from Andre Guerra's FC Porto in exchange for William Carvalho and given the number 10 shirt, along with the faith from his new manager to help lead Basel to greatness. With his blistering pace, and sublime skill, Armindo will be looked upon to score goals, and create many assists in a RotBlau shirt. Yet he was not the only player that came to Basel in the Bruma deal...

Promising young midfielder, Lewis Cook also came to Basel with Bruma. A fellow countryman, Morris has stated that Cook is one of the new players that excites him the most!

The supporters were thrilled with the new signings, and "Chopper" did not waste any time bringing in more talent. He began to put into action his philosophy of building through youth. The next signing is one that sent St Jakob Park into a frenzy of excitement. It was announced that the Turkish wonderkid Emre Mor had arrived for a medical from Newcastle! A young lad with superb dribbling and talent. Emre Mor's number 20 shirt has been a top seller for the club since his arrival, a club icon in the making.

At just age 20, Mor has the potential to become an amazing football player. 

After the thrill and excitement of Mor's signing, neither supporter nor spectator knew what to expect next! The transfers then began to really come fast, as a deal was struck with manager Doug Earle and his Espanyol side to bring in the veteran attacker Salomon Kalou, Dutch leftback Nick Viergever, and a skilled 24-year-old attacker in Pierre Lees-Melou. These players added much needed depth to the squad, as Fernando Marcal went to Spain in return. 

Pierre Lees-Melou is another talent that Morris rates highly, the Frenchman is expected to become a great asset to the club in the future.

After the big deal with Espanyol, another veteran talent was called upon to help lead and teach the young players that were quickly arriving at the club. Welsh midfielder Joe Allen made the move to Basel from Atalanta, a player whose skill and experience will be vital to "Chopper" Morris' young club. 

27-year-old Joe Allen is important to the structure of Basel's midfield, his leadership could propel him to the Captain's armband in the future.

The manager's office at St Jakob Park continued to be an extremely busy place, as the club started to earn more points in their matches, beginning the journey out of the relegation zone. Rebuild and reload, the mission carried on as more new players arrived at FC Basel. 

Morris then returned to Italy, this time to strike a deal with Hussain Saif and Fiorentina. Right back Darijo Srna and 23-year-old defensive midfielder, Soualiho Meite were signed in exchange for Pablo Zabaleta. Young English centerback Ro-Shaun Williams was also added as a makeweight in case Srna decided to retire in the near future. Meite is another young talent Morris believes could be of quality to the club in the future.

Fan excitement and ticket sales began to increase, as the new look Basel squad started to take shape. The club was struggling in 19th place before Morris took over, and as weeks passed the RotBlau boys became more successful. Defensive depth was brought in with Marc Muniesa, Anaitz Arbilla, and young Kaan Ayhan joining the squad. Matthew also added more promising youth defense as well, with the Portugese Diogo Leite, and Juan Miranda being notable names.

Youthful football exuberance cultivated throughout the city of Basel, as another very exciting young foward in Hee-Chan Hwang joined the movement from Levante! Morris rates Hwang highly, and believes he has the talent to lead the front line for the club in the future.

21-year-old South Korean, Hee Chan Hwang.

In the ensuing weeks many more players were added to the squad, players who have the confidence of manager Morris going foward, all shaping Basel into the squad Morris intends it to be. Next, a huge goalkeeper swap took place at the club, with Italian keeper Salvatore Sirigu arriving in Switzerland from Leicester in a deal which then allowed Danijel Subasic to complete his move to Espanyol from Basel. Center back Dani Pareja and a highly touted Egyptian midfielder named Mohamed Hassan Trezeguet, were sent to Basel in return. Young Isaac Success will also join Basel in January, capping off this exciting mega-deal for the Swiss club.

Chopper Morris proceeded to get his club younger in another important transfer deal. It was agreed between FC Basel and West Ham United to send then Captain Jose Fonte to West Ham. Morris felt the 33-year-old defender had begun to slow, and seized the opportunity to send Fonte to West Ham for Scot, Matt Ritchie, and the versatile Chancel Mbemba. Morris has expressed admiration for the talent of young Mbemba, so he was thrilled to bring him in with this deal. Fonte had an emotional last match for Basel, as the club moved on to a more fresh pair of legs.

23-year-old Chancel Mbemba will be groomed to be the pillar of Basel's defense in the future.

Veteran foward and Basel top scorer, Robin Van Persie was named the new club captain after the exit of Jose Fonte. RVP is a player that "Chopper" believes can be a huge leader for the club, a true captain who will lead by example. Legend among men.

After the deal with West Ham, there was no denying that Morris had achieved his goal of building a younger squad, while also adding players that could continue to help the club win. The youth movement is in full swing here in the city of Basel!

Young Brazilian playmaker Raphinha was signed from Nick Justice's Aston Villa. He is one of Morris' favorite signings as manager of Basel. Midfielder Solly March was sent to Villa in return. 

 Top young talent had been assembled at St Jakob Park, and the future began to look so bright. Then, a few weeks later, two new Spanish youngsters were signed. Their arrivals made the future of FC Basel shine much brighter than before...

17-year-old Sergio Gomez was signed as a free agent, a player with amazing abilities, and the potential to become one of the best players at Basel. A huge youth signing for Matt Morris.

Oscar Rodriguez. Remember the name, the 19-year-old midfielder has every tool to develop into a top player. His superb free kicks are already praised throughout the youth academies of the world. Oscar was brought in from West Ham in a deal that sent Trevoh Chalobah to the London club in return. Oscar Rodriguez and Sergio Gomez are two names that could be THE future for FC Basel. An exceptional duo who could lift the club to even greater heights. 

Basel, Switzerland

So now the pieces of the puzzle have been put into place, a squad of players brought together that the whole city can be proud of. A tremendous intiative filled with ambition is now in action. With so many moves, so many new faces, and so much potential, it is now time for the city as a whole to rally behind the new FC Basel. This has been mission: "Generation Next" and Matt "Chopper" Morris is the architect behind the blueprint. Basel has been rebuilt, and Basel has been re-loaded...

Now, we are ready to take aim!
RotBlau Inferno

















PSV run of bad luck continues

                                                             

                                                     SWANSEA  2-2 PSV   

  
The PSV faithful have asked Santa to bring them the only thing they dont have for Christmas.... luck!

Any other club in the league would be delighted at losing only 3 times in their last 10 games as they fight to stay out of the relegation zone but long suffering PSV diehards are now feeling their club is cursed after a string of  games where they have clutched a draw or a defeat from the eyes of victory in recent matches that they have totally dominated.


On Sunday PSV were the visitors at the Liberty Stadium as they faced a fine Swansea side proudly sitting in 6th place and looking to build on their fine form as they dream of getting in and winning promotion via the playoffs.
The home side certainly started the better and deservidly took the lead after only 6 minutes when Seferovic played a fine pass through for Weiss who knocked it in off the post passed a motionless Bravo.
The keeper was anything but motionless 6 minutes later as he pulled off a World class save tipping away a Radoja attempt after he received a fine ball from Jiminez from a corner kick.

The game was finelly balanced as Swansea's better players failed to deal with PSV's tactical supremacy and the Dutch cracks finally got a deserved equaliser on 38 minutes through a Luuk De Jong strike from a clever Destro pass 1-1
PSV stepped up a gear after the break and only astring of fine saves from Marchesin around the half hour mark stopped the visitors from deservedly going in front.

Swansea took the lead againt the run of play in the 74th minute as Jiminez found the net with a cracking strike from a disputed freekick but they should have been down to 10 men in the 84th minute when Douglas was only given a yellow card after much deliberation from the referee and his assistant after he commited a last man foul when he pulled De Jong back while the Dutchman was racing towards goal... the PSV Manager was also sent to the stands for arguing the decision.

Gaffer Gaz however had the perfect view of his sides equaliser, which he later told the waiting press was a stonewaller to win the goal of the season award, ashe watched Kagawa chip in a cross to man of the match Boudebouz who picked the ball out of the air with his right foot before rifling past the keeper with a dipping shot 2-2

Swansea Manager Lee Adams would have definately been the happier of the two Managers after the game as his side keep hold of their place in the playoffs.

This result leaves PSV 2 points above the bottom four with seven games to play.

 

On the 2nd day of Xmas there was:

           Big Barbs Xmas Funsack          




Yes dear reader, it's me, Victor 'Big Barbs' Ibarbo with your seasonal dose of festive cheer.
Seasonal dose is quite apt as I've just had my results back from the STD clinic – clear, thank fook but no thanks to that Walter Gogh, the lengths some gaffers will go to sign players amazes me, frequently.

Yes, readers, what's that you say? Yes it's true I'm now at Marseille enjoying all the delights of the French Riviera, baguettes, cheap vino, stripey jumpers and mixed results.
It's all a far cry from life at the Spoons but a girl can get used to anything if she tries.
some baguettes in Marseilles

We had our club Xmas dinner last night, I swear I must have put a fooking stone on, could hardly get out my corset afterwards. Goghy likes his fookin sprouts tho, I've never seen such a mountain, all the team were at them, Zapata, Batos, Mehmedi, only little Julian Green managed to keep them at arms  length. Goghy was doing his juggling act yet again, this time with escargots and whilst singing La Marseillaise.
typical sprouts

I took this opportunity to escape the madness & go & have a french fag on the boat deck overlooking the harbour.
I was gutted when sold by Sao Paulo but part of me knew it was coming. Manager Wheels had been acting odd around me for a while, but I couldn't figure out why. Ok I did fook all in training and on the pitch, did the bare minimum of off field activities with the club and generally turned up pissed or high most of the time, but that was normal behaviour for me, no, there must be something else.

Beddows' boat 'La Milanese'

Well one warm summer night I happened to be a guest on board of Beddows' yacht off the Milanese coast, well I say yacht, more of a glorified narrow boat but I digress. I'd just finished my turn on stage (Beddows knows a class drag act when he sees one) and was in the gents lavvies changing my stockings. I overheard some talking and when I realised it was non other than Dinamo's Jess Jobe, Gino of Torino, plus Nuno from the Baggies. Both the Davids, Marsden & Senior were there too but from what I could make out were both very drunk and attempting to wash their respective arses in the same sink.
some toilets

Jobe was recounting his favourite Stoop party anecdote, the one where he fined FC Plonotsky 5k for having 300 ineligible players in their squad when Gino interrupted and asked Nuno 'who was that girl I saw you with at Beddows' last yacht party? Nuno spluttered & nearly choked on his vimto. 'How did you know about that Gino?' 'Infra-red goggles mate' Gino replied chirpily, 'take them everywhere, well, them and me drone'.
 'It was the weirdest night Gino' replied Nuno, 'I didn't remember pulling her and I've no memory of anything after getting back to my apartment. In the morning she was gone as was my wallet, car keys, star wars figurine collection and my years supply of finest Colombian.
All I do remember is she had an encyclopedic knowledge of Sao Paulo Football Club.'

another toilet

At that point I lost my footing and fell into the toilet door but luckily for me one of the Davids had fallen out of the sink and was now making a lot of noise running round looking for his lost 'arsebrush'. I'd realised that the stunning beauty they referred to was in fact myself, 'Big Barbs'. 
I had known Nuno had a plentiful supply of the white stuff and was determined to get my paws on it. I admit the sneaking admiration I had for his managerial team rebuilding made the task of enticing him all the more easy for me. All I needed to do was tell him I was related to Ike Ugbo & he was eating out of my hand. Eating Rohypnol that I told him were opal fruits out of my hand.

Opal Fruits - now Starburst

At that point amidst a huge crashing & banging Beddows came lunging into the lavatory. He was wearing a roman centurion costume, was very drunk and had somehow managed to wedge one foot in a metal mop bucket but well, that was Beddows. 'Hey you lot, anyone seen Big Barbs?; he said. 'She's the only one who can open this pickle jar & I really fancy a gherkin right now.' 'Whats a gherkin?' asked Jobe but no-one responded. 'Your my fugginn best mate Jobe, you know that, and you David, even with your wet arse yer bazztard' slurred Beddows before falling right through the very cubicle door in which I was hiding. 'Barbs yer bastard, Is that you?' asked a surprised Beddows. 'Barbs? That Esmeralda Blenkinsop, the girl who stole my powder and my wallet!' exclaimed Nuno.

a hand dryer today

The Davids carried on trying to dry their arses with the hand dryers whilst Gino & Jobe stood watching open mouthed.
'Esmerwhat? Asked Beddows, 'naah this is Big Barbs, you know the girl that drugged you at last years party.'
Then it clicked, I knew what had happened. You see Beddows is good mates with my old gaffer Nick Wheels. In one of his drunken binges he would have let it slip to Wheels that he'd seen me going back to Nunos' pad and well, it doesn't take a genius to work out the rest.

Boca Juniors

The week after the party Spoons had lost a vital local derby with Boca Juniors. Wheels absolutely hates losing local derbies even more than non-local games and in his post match paranoid angerfest he would have put 2 and 2 together and made 17. 
Barbs was with Nuno all night, Nuno is good mates with Sir Walter Smith the eccentric elderly Boca manager; basically he thought Big Barbs blabbed team tactics to Nuno.
There's no convincing Wheels when he gets on one of his paranoia trips and sure enough, pretty soon I was shipped out to Marseille. And although having to listen to Goghs' Jacques Brel cd before every game was wearing, it was better than having paint stripper sprayed in my eyes at half time out of a Jif lemon by Wheels.
a Jif lemon

I do miss the Spoon Army though, almost as much as I miss my old pair of hairy bagatelles but I suppose those days are never to return.

Ahh well, back to the party, shit, Goghs standing  on the table half naked doing his Brel impersonation again. Time to take one for the team......

Youth Cup Quarter Finals Review

Of the top eight rated teams at the start of the season, just Barcelona (3rd) and Everton (8th) failed to make it to the Quarter Finals as expected. Barcelona lost 1-0 at pre-season tournament favourites Real Madrid in the previous round, while Everton also went out in the third round, 3-2 at new favourites Benfica. Leverkusen (originally rated the 11th best team) and Anderlecht (9th) were the beneficiaries of Barca and Everton’s failures.

Before we get into the events of last night’s Quarter Finals, let’s quickly review how we got here with the results of the knockout rounds 2 and 3 since the group stages were decided.

2nd Round (first knockout round)


Matches played on Saturday 18 November (note: Group winners all got byes into the 3rd round).


Everton 4 - 2 Liverpool
Barcelona 1 - 0 Augsburg
Napoli 1 - 3 Milan
Monchengladbach 3 - 1 Flamengo
Hamburg 1 - 0 Arsenal
Southampton 1 - 3* Sampdoria
Monaco 6 - 5* Sevilla
Hoffenheim 3 - 1 Dortmund

* AFET (After Fictional Extra Time)

Of the 2nd round matches, all went to form except for the games at Monchengladbach and Hamburg, while Monaco and Sevilla produced one of the matches of the tournament:









Sevilla went 2 -0 up after 16 minutes before Monaco pulled three goals back to lead 3 -2 after 52 minutes. Sevilla led 4 - 3 after 77 minutes, but their lead lasted less than a minute as Monaco equalised from the restart. The match went to Fictional Extra Time, where the French team's domination of regular play was rewarded with two more goals, to Sevilla's one.

3rd Round (second knockout round)

Matches played on Saturday 25 November (Note: all Group winners were reward with home ties).

Manchester Utd 2 - 0 Hoffenheim
Benfica 3 - 2 Everton
Juventus 1 - 0* Milan
Leverkusen 3 - 1 Sampdoria
Bayern 1 - 0 Hamburg
Anderlecht 4 - 3* Monchengladbach
Real Madrid 1 - 0 Barcelona
Valencia 4 - 3* Monaco

*AFET

The third round matches saw the return of the big hitters, and they all came through successfully, in the end, although only Leverkusen managed to win by more than the odd goal....
















Beddows' team crashed out of his own tournament and hasn't been seen at Youth Cup HQ since.

Anderlecht squeezed past Monchengladbach, who were rated 32nd best team at the start of the tournament - a great achievement for Attila Olah and his men.

And a much depleted Real Madrid side dumped disappointing Barcelona out of the competition.

Quarter Finals


Matches played on Saturday 2 December (Note: random draw, one leg only).

Valencia 2 - 3 Bayern
Real Madrid 1 - 0 Manchester United
Leverkusen 2 - 3 Juventus
Anderlecht 2 - 5* Benfica

*AFET

4th seeded Bayern overcame 5th seeded Valencia slightly more comfortably than the 3-2 scoreline suggests, their overall improvement as the season has progressed proving decisive.









The Real Madrid - Manchester United mind games began even before the draw fro the Quarter Finals, with Madrid boss Roy Keane going off on another of his ill-informed rants:











































United boss Greg Owen responded immediately upon hearing that his team were to play Madrid for the 15th time in four days:














Madrid responded by swooping in the transfer market for two of Anderlecht's highly successful youth team, and it was Alain Saint-Maximin who made the difference with a Man of the Match performance against all the odds.












Previous Youth Cup winners Leverkusen and Juventus produced a five goal thriller, but Juve probably deserved to come out on top, on the balance of play, although Juve may be looking to improve their options in goal before the semi-final.












Finally, Anderlecht's run came to a halt at home to a frighteningly strong looking Benfica side. The Belgian team's youngsters pushed their Portuguese counterparts all the way, only to be overrun in FET, conceding three.

Semi Final Draw


The random draw for the two-legged semi-finals will take place at 9pm GMT on Sunday 3 December (tonight).

Ball numbers:

1. Bayern Munich
2. Real Madrid
3. Juventus
4. Benfica

On the third day of Christmas


Top100.  3rdDay of Christmas.

Worth or value of players in real life and top 100 is very much in the news as always. In SM it really is like Christmas , as giving is seen as much more important than receiving. 
 

Think to yourself though, which presents are most important to you?
The present you want.
The cost of the present.
The present with the highest status symbol.
The present you get from the people you love.
The present you give to those you care for.
Or simply the one, which changes peoples, lives in the most positive way.

Certainly the present you want as child can be the burning desire up and until you open the present. You then use it for a bit and then get fed up with it, really you would have preferred something else, all the hype, really was just hype.  Then you get your mum to take it back and get some vouchers in exchange. A bit like ISCO in soccermanager. We all want ISCO, many of us have bought ISCO but soon get fed up with him and return him to Real Madrid who give us a couple of voucher players in exchange before flogging him off again 3 months down the line.

Cost, well that’s a bit ephemeral these days.  Cost could be the number of pounds, or the effort put in to earn the pounds, or the long-term effect of paying off those payday loans at 300% interest. The average child gets £150 of presents, although the median value is substantially less, since some are getting £1000’s spent on them.  Until this season Marco Reus was the biggest and most expensive player in Top100 (obviously multi part deals aside). Was he worth around 40Million? Well he seems not to score that many and if he were not loved by the Christmas elves of Sm would be rated at least 4 lower.  I suppose Benfica will be the judge of that.

An Iphone X , really £1000, can’t do much more than my mass-produced Android phone that costs £60 . What is the must have kids toy this year , mine are a bit older these days,. I think it is a Nerf gun, a BB 8 and a game called toilet trouble , which is often a problem for us older gents.  So in top 100 it must be Ronaldo or Messi.  Well Messi is worth a goal per game, on top of what the rest of the team do,.  Ronaldo half that , so I know who I would prefer at the moment,.

The present you get from those you love, well they really can choke you up in one of 2 ways. Either they are a real tearjerker,  your son gets you a bottle of Old Spice, despite the fact that you never use a razor.  Your wife gives you a best dad mug , even though you didn’t know she was pregnant. On the other hand, how long are you going to wear the paisley tie from your daughter and when can you put the bottle of horrible wine from your Aunty in the bin..  The best SM analogy I can get is Frank when he has the task of reallocating clubs at the start of each season. Some will love the present they get , others, less so ….

I return to the theme of giving and not receiving. What is your thought process. I must get XYZ for the good lady ,  my daughter will really like/ deserves this.   Or it won’t matter , anything from me will do for them.  If it is the last , you really have a great relationship with those you love.  At times we all try to help the small clubs out in Top 100 , don’t we ? Either a great loan player , deliberately paying a little over the top , or buying that player they think is a really great prospect but you know is pants to give them a leg up.

It doesn’t have to cost a penny to help people out, sometimes a friendly word of advice,  a hug, a hand up is all people need. Or it need not cost a lot.  In my job I see great things. The people I work with put together  small shoe boxes full of bits and bobs that people will find useful , which that can’t otherwise afford. Soap , pasta,  sanitary products,  a simple make up set,  shampoo, a towel, a fresh pillowcase. Cans of food etc. Not so that the givers can feel good and think they have done their moral duty. Many of the “ givers “ are not rich in the slightest and have a tough life themselves but are aware that there is almost certainly someone worse off than himself or herself.  That is where the Top100 community wins out over any other gameworld, you look at the money raised for Beddow’s football team , the kind words offered when someone announces a happy event or the genuine messages of regret when someone suffers a loss.

I’ve had 10 festive seasons with soccermanager and I wish you all , all the best and hope this great community carries on in the way that it has so far.

On the first day of Christmas T100 Gave to me....

The greatest manager in all of AC Milan and Italian History - may we present “Xmas at Milan”

Starring:

Beddows a man never under pressure, as calm as a surfer when confronted with a great white, as talented as a blind skier in an Olympic final speaks to the gathered media as he prepares to lead Milan for a 3rd Xmas - today Top 100’s Top impartial journalist Mr Gino Kinnearo caught up with Beddows to discuss the season so far, all things Xmas, his favourite Xmas tunes on his latest album and of course the progress of the other Italian managers this season.

Kinnearo: “Good Evening Mr Beddows, so great to hear from you - great xmas jumper that Mrs Barbara Beddows was wearing by the way!"

Beddows: “Did you like it? We saw it in Milan in a charity shop - we had to buy it - they are all the rage in Turin at the moment - like gold dust - and with DP’s continued failure to even attempt to fight for a title you can see why - A winter of discontent surely beckons in talentless Turin!"

Mrs Barbara Beddows wearing a T100 festive piece
  Kinnearo bursts into fits of laughter that he has to pause for breathe and take a sip of his birra morretti.

Kinnearo: "What is brilliant is that Milan are as ever having an exceptional season - are you pleased?"

Beddows: "Reasonably so - we of course have had to contend with the usual b******* in terms of our two best players picking up dodgy yellow and red cards conveniently prior to big matches but that is nothing new - we know how Top 100 operates and if you don't abide by the rules you receive no favours!"

Kinnearo: "Please elaborate!"

Beddows: "Certain managers like Bollocks - I mean Burroughs, and Ruts get given big jobs - or probably paid for them and low and behold they are smashing everyone... total bs if you ask me - Frank defo involved somewhere."

Kinnearo: "What do you make of your old enemy - Malcolm - the one who mocked you for failing as Italy manager - but you then went on to win the World Cup and he was sacked at Fiorentina - never to have been seen in Italy since? - He once won Italian manager of the year - millions of years ago?"

Beddows: "Funny you should say that - they sell t-shirts about him as well all across Italy as well - I am not surprised to see him struggle once again - how many times do I have to publicly state you cannot achieve anything playing prehistoric tactics!"

Another shirt from Beddows' XL wardrobe
Beddows: "All in all though we have not had a bad season, decent league position, WCC knock outs, shield SF, youth cup last 16 - lost on fictional era time - what sort of knobhead came up with that idea??? - we'd love to think we can still get automatic promotion but it will be tough - but I'd say 5 wins in our last 8 might be enough!"

Kinnearo: "Good stuff - how are your Xmas plans coming along? Any plans? I hear you are bringing out a charity album this Xmas?"

Beddows: "Yes, I am raising money for SC - Salve as Colheres - a mass movement across Brazil calling for the release of thousands of the Spoon Army who have been imprisoned on the orders of not only the Brazilian government but also the T100 hierarchy - who have 100% been implicated in setting the wheels in motion to ensure Nick's wheels fall off and he doesn't succeed in T100!"

Kinnearo: "What sort of tunes are you singing for this album? And when is it released?"

Beddows: "Here you go"

Beddows passes Kinnearo a list of songs on the charity album

1. "All I want for Christmas is a Spoon" duet by Beddows and Balotelli
2. "Have yourself a Merry Little Spoon" solo performance by Barzagli
3. "Last Christmas I gave you a Spoon" duet by Beddows and Bonadventura
4. "Spoonin around the Christmas Tree" sung by El Shaarawy, De Sciglio on drums
5. "Its the most wonderful time for a Spoon" sung by Benassi, Balotelli and Brooks
6. "I wish I could watch Balotelli every day" solo performance by Beddows
7. "Feed the dinosaurs - let Malcolm know its Christmas time" duet by Vestegaard and Petagna
8. "Driving Balotelli home for Christmas" solo performance by Beddows
SPECIAL PERFORMANCE
9. "Good King Wheels" duet by Beddows and Wheels (Sao Paulo manager)
AND EVERYONE'S FAVOURITE
10. "I saw Keane kissing Hirst underneath the Christmas Tree" duet by Albrighton and Trippier
INCLUDING A SPECIAL PERFORMANCE OF
11. "Balotelli the red nosed reindeer" sung by the ENTIRE MILAN TEAM

Kinnearo: "fantastic... I look forward to spending 40euros on this! So what are your Christmas plans?"

Beddows: "In response to your question about Xmas - well the SM gods have been kind - possibly - Xmas eve we are at home to everyone's least favourite manager - Mike Scalotti followed by a game on 28th December v Lazio - I am not sure what sort of presents we will be unwrapping on Xmas day - BUT if we get 3 points v Dortmund then MAYBE, just MAYBE I might be opening a "promotion present!"

Kinnearo: "What of your neighbour?"

Beddows: "Mclean doesnt even live in Milan - he commutes daily from Vienna - doesnt even speak Italian - I have a little respect for Inter - but none for him... Lo dicono in Milano che uno che non vive in Milano non capisce la mentalita... and I agree! That man has achieved nothing at Inter and I highly doubt he ever will! I have heard a rumour that he see Inter as a stepping stone - a bit like those at Dovedale in the Peak District - well I for one hope he slips and falls - If I am the one to make it happen then so be it... I will further inform my GOD STATUS among Milan fans if that transpires... if it doesn't then we will all know it is highly likely that the ref has most likely been paid!"

Kinnearo: "Thanks Mr Beddows for your hospitality, free t-shirts, CD's and excellent words I will finish this interview with my famous graph outlining the performance of the Italian based managers in T100 in season 6.

Renowned Italian journalist Gino Kinnearo offers his analysis of how the Italian based managers have done in season 6



Division 4 Review - Enter The Final 3rd of the Season

So, here we are 26 games into season 6 in Top 100, with game number 27 rapidly approaching this evening. The final third of the season and make or break time for a lot of sides.





There is plenty still to play for and 36 points to be collected.  I have compiled an analysis of all sides in Division 4 so far. Starting from top to bottom - so get yourself a cup of tea, coffee….or whichever beverage takes your fancy, plus maybe a tasty snack. Put your feet up and lose yourself in the world of Division 4 for however long it takes you to read the post

HERTHA BERLIN
Mark Stewart’s side currently sit top of Division 4 after the success of last seasons Division 5 title winning exploits. Stewart has brought in two first team/squad players - Raul Albiol for £6m plus John Terry and Ferreira Ari for a couple of million. 3 non used squad players and one youth player have exitted the Olympiastadion as Stewart keeps faith with the core of the squad.

Ben Yedder has been Berlin’s standout player ratings wise with an average of 7.42 over 22 starts, he is followed by Thauvin - 7.25, Sen - 7.20 & Muriel - 7.12.
Ben Yedder also tops the goal list with 9 strikes again followed by Sen & Muriel with 7 each.
Yoshinori Muto is the highest assister at the club and in the division with a colossal 18 in 22 games.

Currently on a club record run of 5 consecutive wins, fans of the German club will be hoping their team emulate last seasons success with a successive title. If they cant do that they will happily settle for an automatic promotion spot. This would be deemed very successful after the chairman stated the seasons aim was a play off spot.

LEICESTER CITY
Nathan Prince in his first season in charge is looking to secure a swift return to Division 3 after last seasons relegation. The Foxes sit in 2nd place and Nathan has a squad capable of going up automatically.

An active manager in the transfer market he has brought in players such as Yehven Konoplyanka,
Juraj Kucka, Sven Ulreich, Aleksander Samedov, Pablo Piatti and Christian Fuchs.

Thorgan Hazard has been Leicesters top performing outfield player this season with a 6.85 rating over 24 games, The exciting young Belgian is also top score and top assister with ten apiece.

Fans at The King Power Stadium will be hoping he can continue his form throughout the business end of the season. Leicester are yet to see the best of new signing Konoplyanka and if he can deliver the goods in the run in then they should get enough goals and wins to secure that promotion and maybe even win the first ever trophy for The Foxes in Top 100

DYNAMO KYIV
Jimmy Gouldie recently hit a milestone 100 games in charge of the Ukrainian outfit. Runners Up in last years play off final, Gouldie will be aiming to channel the disappointment of getting so close to motivate his players to go a step further and secure automatic promotion.

Gouldie has brought in just 2 first team/squad players - Papise Cisse and Stewart Downing. Keeping faith with last seasons squad.

Kyiv will be relying on key player Cristian Tello to inspire them to glory. The flying winger tops the ratings at Kyiv with a 7.31 rating from 24 starts he is also the leading assister at Dynamo with 15 already this season. Forward - Kravets tops the scorers list with 13 strikes and a target of 20 goals is not unrealistic for the Ukrainian forward. Kyiv fans should be confident of success this season….it just depends whether it will be via automatic promotion or through the play offs

CRYSTAL PALACE
The Linder is now approaching 200 games in the hot seat at Selhurst Park. Relegated last season The Linder will be hoping for either the Division 4 title or promotion at the first attempt as Palace have been in or around the top 3 all season.

The Linder has brought in steven Defour and Aaron Lennon to strengthen the first team. He ahas also brought in a few younger players for the future, with the pick of them being Nick Pope and James Tarkowski.

Steven Davis and Vedad Ibisevic have been the two best outfield performers this season with 6.95 and 6.75 ratings respectively. Josh King is top scorer with 6 league goals and Davis tops the assist table with 8. The Linder will be hoping that these 3 players plus Lanzini will be able to keep contributing to picking up points as Eagles fans dream of soaring to Division 3

GIRONDINS BORDEAUX
Barca Kes has recently completed a year in charge of the French outfit and having missed out on the play offs by just 3 points last season he will be hoping to improve this season and secure a play off spot.

Kes has only brought in one first team/squad player in Robert Snodgrass as he keeps faith with last seasons squad. Sandro wagner has been the top outfield player with a 7.19 rating in 21 games. Cyril Thereau leads the goalscoring stakes with 7 goals in 14 games and Wagner tops the assist table with 8 in 21.

Fans at Stade Bordeaux-Atlantique will be hoping Wagner continues to pull the strings outfield. They can rest safe that their goal is in good hands as Keeper Rune Jarstein has 11 clean sheets and 7 man of the match awards this season as the target of a play off spot is within reach.

OLYMPIACOS
Dale Bowers is in his first full season in charge at the Greek giants and he has done well so far, keeping his side in or around the top 6 all season.

Since his appointment he has made just one major signing in Jeremy Toulalan. He has completely overhauled the youth team though by bringing in 18 players as he plans for Thrylos long term future.

Bowers promotion hopes will rest firmly on the shoulders of iconic striker Carlos Tevez, The Argentine hitman is having his best season to date in Top 100 having already netted 15 times, assisting 5 and being named star man on 7 occasions. Other key players include veteran Keeper Steve Mandandawho has weighed in with 6 star man performances and an impressive 6.97 rating, plus versatile defender Rafinha who continues to lead from the back.

Bowers has seen his side slip as of late, with just 1 point from their last 5 league games. This is something he will be looking to address as we enter the final straight. Automatic promotion is a realistic target if they can turn their form around and Tevez can continue banging them in.

SAO PAOLO
Managed by the charismatic and borderline nuts Nick Wheels there is always a story to come Brazil as the notorious Spoon Army are often involved in violence leading to bloodshed by their weapon of choice - teaspoons after a defeat and sometimes even after victory! Spoons who were relegated last season will be hoping to bounce back at the first attempt under Wheels stewardship.

Nicks only first team signing of the season has been Faycal Fajr. He will look to top scorer Nicola Sansone to continue banging them in  as the forward leads the scoring and averating rating charts with 12 and 7.09 respectively. Ogenyi Onazi leads the assist charts with 11 to date and Wheels will need both players fit and firing for the final stretch of the season. After a fantastic recent win against Palace The Spoon Army will be buoyed and confident in their chances of success this season.

STANDARD LIEGE
James Foster will be hoping his side can improve on last seasons 12th place finish which saw them miss the play offs by 4 points. The Belgian side have flirted with the top 7 all season and Foster will be hoping his side can complete the run in with aplomb and secure a play off spot.

An active manager in the transfer market Foster has brought in no less than 6 first team/squad players with 3 going out. The pick of the incoming players are Goncalves Jonas, Cheick kouyate and Mikel San Jose.

Gervinho has statistically been Lieges best outfield performer with a 6.69 rating over 26 games, however new signing Goncalves Jonas has been irresistable in his opening 4 games by recording an 8.75 rating, scoring 5, assisting 3 and collecting 4 star man awards!
So in just 4 games Jonas top scores for the club with 5 goals, Holtby is top assister with 4.

Liege who to date have the worst attack but best defence in the division will be hoping that Jonas can continue his blistering form and fire the goals needed to make the play offs.
If they can get there with a defence as mean as theirs they would take some beating. Fans of Les Rouches live in hope that they will.

BOCA JUNIORS
Sir Walter Smith’s side currently sit in 9th place, just a point off the play off spots. They will be looking for a swift return to Division 3 after the heartache of being relegated by a single point last season.

Smith has been highly active in the transfer market bringing in 39 players and letting 27 go! Messa, Malli, Coquelin and Dante are the pick of the incoming players.

Interestingly just 2 of Walters players have managed more than 20 league games this season. One of those is defender and joint top scorer Gabriel Paletta with 2 goals in 23 games and a 6.35 rating.
Fans at the Bombonera will be hoping new striker Ntep can hit form with the end of season approaching as they need to improve the firepower to make the top 7. An efficient team, currently on a good 6 game unbeaten run gives hope to the fans in their quest to return to Division 3.

ATALANTA
Gregg Robinson is just 2 point short of a landmark 200 points as manager of the Italian outfit and is hopeful of securing a first ever trophy for Atalanta as his side are right in the chasing pack for the play offs.

Gregg has brought in 4 first team/squad players this season - Hogr, Castaignos, suchy and Zuff. With Joe Allen and Donati leaving for pastures new.

Exciting young talent Joaquin Correa has been Atalanta’s star performer with 25 games and a 7.12 rating. He has also chipped in with 7 goals and 9 assists making him the sides top assister. Jeremaine Lens is another key player as he tops the goal charts and sits just behind Correa with 7 assists,

The last 12 games has seen La Dea pick up just 8 points from a possible 36 and Gregg will be hoping that Correa and Lens can inspire his boys to more than double that points tally over the coming 12 games to secure a play off spot.

STOKE CITY
Anthony Maddison has done a good job in steadying the ship since taking over in April 2017, he has managed 141 points in 63 games giving him an impressive average of 2.24 points per game.

Maddison has kept faith with his charges and not brought any key first team/squad players in , he has however secured the signings of young prospects Harry Wilson and Abdou Diallo.

Stefano Okaka leads the goal charts with 8 goals and Sampeiro and Goulart lead the assist table with 8 and 7 respectively. Vecino and Goulart are tied as the top performing outfield players on a 7.0 rating over 24 and 22 games respectively.

Stoke’s strength and resilience lies in midfield where boast two 90 rated mid 20’s players in Kondogbia and Vecino. These guys are the heartbeat of the team.

For a city famed for its pottery the fans dream of silverware and they will be hoping they can see this dream come true this season by going one step further than last season and securing a top 7 finish, which would give them that chance in the play offs

DYNAMO MOSKVA
Damian Collauti is another manager with an impressive points tally, having racked up 252 from 115 games giving him an average of 2.19 per game. Moskva finished 10th last season after winning Division 5 in season 4 and Collauti will be hoping to improve on last years finish.

Collauti has focused on youth this season with regard to transfers as 12 youngsters have come in with 12 players going out.

Lazar Markovic is Dynamo’s best outfield player rating wise with 6.81 in 21 games - he also has 7 goals to his name. Sergi Enrich top scores with 8 and Nicolai Jorgensen is top assister with 5 plus 5 goals to his name.

Fans of Dinamiki remain positive their side can make the Top 7, but time will tell if they will.

STUTTGART
Ben Clifford is in his first full season in charge in Germany and his side currently sit 8 points off the play offs and 7 off relegation. This is a marked improvement so far on last season Die Rotten finished 16th - avoiding relegation by just 3 points.

No players have been brought in and just two have departedthe Mercedes-Benz Arena.

Dudu is the clubs best performing outfield player with a 6.43 average rating over 23 games. Calleri top scores with 3 goals and Pardo, Dudu and Ekici share the top assist charts with 4 apiece.

Obviously Stuttgart’s main problem this season has been goals, but Calleri has ony started 4 games so the hopes of the team will rest on his shoulders for the run in as Stuttgart will hope for a top ten finish.

FK PARTIZAN
Mark Gardiners Partizan currently sit 13th in the table after an excellent season where they finished 3rd and secured promotion from Division 5.

Partizans main transfer in this season has been Kharim El-Ahmadi - the rest of the incoming transfers have been youth team players.

Lasse schone has been the best consistently playing outfield performer with a 6.50 rating over 20 games. Incidentally schone is also the clubs joint top scorer with Alessandro Matri on 5 apiece. Kevin Monnet-Paquet is top assister with 4.

Partizan are the divisions lowest scorers with just 21 league goals and that is something that Gardiner will surely be looking to address as we approach season 7.

Overall a season of consolidation would have been the aim at Stadion FK, and they are well on te way to achieving that. Fans are also looking forward to the future as Mark has built an exciting youth team, Onyine Ndidi and Mouktar Diakhaby will be expected to play more prominent roles over the next couple of seasons as their development continues.

DYNAMO ZAGREB
Jesse Jobes side sit in 14th place - the same position that they finished last season.

Just 2 players have been brought in - Steven Moreira and Ryan Mason, no players have left The Maksimir stadium.

Jonathan Pitriopa has been the sides most consistent outfield performer with a 6.88 rating over 24 games. Eysseric and Pitriopa are also the sides most effective players in terms of goals and assists with Pitriopa scoring 6 and assisting 9, Eysseric has 7 goals and 5 assists to his name.

The Croatian side sit 6 points clear of relegation and have a much better goal difference than the sides below them, this gives fans real hope that they will be enjoying Division 4 football once again next season.

MALAGA
Mark “The King” Hewitt treated fans to promotion last season from Division 5 where they went on a colossal 22 game unbeaten run. This season however they face a battle at the other end of the table to stay in the division as they sit one place above the drop zone on 25 points.

Koo, Hoffman, Carvalho, Echiejile and Wellington Nem have been Hewitt’s major incoming signings with 13 players saying adios to La Rosaleda.

Laurent Depoitre who Rahul, I think once famously referred to as a “tree” has been the sides top performing outfield player with a 7.05 rating and top scores with 6 goals. Ochoa in goals has really stood out though with an amazing 7.58 rating and 10 clean sheets. Derdiyok and Finnbogason share the leading assist charts with 4 each.

Without a league win in 9 games (athough they have taken 5 draws from those 9)fans of Albicelestes will be hoping that Hewitt can fire up the side for the seasons run in and climb to mid table safety.

LEVANTE
Dario Saviano performed spectacularly last season to outshine bigger sides and secure promotion via the Division 5 play offs. This season has been tough as Les Granotes find themselves in 17th position as we enter the final stretch of the season.

There has been a hive of transfer activity within the corridors of Cuidad de Valencia with 19 players coming and 14 leaving. The pick of the incoming players have been Nilmar and Fred.

Jay Rodriguez has been the top performing outfield player with a 6.76 rating over 25 games and he also tops the goal charts with 9 strikes this season. Claudio Beauvue tops the assist chart with 4.

Recent league form has seen the Spanish minnows pick up 10 points from their last 6 games to give hope to their fans that they can stay up, which would have been their main objective at the start of the season.

FC BASEL
Top100’s newest manager “Matt “Chopper Harris” has arrived into a sticky situation at St Jakob Park as he took over the side in the bottom 2. He has picked up a respectable 9 points from his opening 5 games for Basel who finished 9th last season.

Like Levante, Basel have been active in the transfer market. Recently Chopper has brought in  Joe Allen, Christian Gentner, Salvatore Sirigu, Nicholas Pareja, Dario Srna, Armind Bruma and Anaitz Arbila to name a few.

Jose Fonte is Basels most consistent outfield player with a 6.71 rating over 21 games, veteran striker Robin Van Persie leads the goal charts with 10 strikes to date and Kuzmanovic is top assister with 4.

Fans of Rotblau will be hoping Choppers new signings can save them from relegation and recent performances point to the fact he probably will. With the side looking good now if they can stay up they can surely push on for at least a play off spot next season.

FEYENOORD
Long serving manager Zaid Griffin is facing a real battle to consolidate his sides Division 4 status. His side are bottom but one in the table and enter the final stretch on a run of 7 defeats.

Griffins main transfers in this season have Blerim Dzemali, Alberto Aquilani and Hoo Joo Park.

Leonardo Ulloa is his sides top outfield player with a 6.90 rating over 20 games. Troy Deeney leads the way for goals and assists with 8 and 5 respectively.

Fans of De Trots van Zuid are extremely concerned about their recent dismal form and are also asking serious questions as to whether Griffin will still be in charge next season as unfortunately relegation looks highly likely.

CELTA VIGO
Tony Harman’s Celta currently find themselves propping up the table which is a real disappointment after last seasons 5th place finish.

Numerous players have come in or left Balaidos with the pick of the incoming players being Eric Choupo Mouting, young Harry Maguire and versatile Mohamed Diame.

Choupo Motting and Nasri lead the way as the best outfield players with 6.64 and 6.52 ratings respectively. Choupo Motting and Nasri  also top the scoring charts with 4 apiece. Leighton Baines has chipped in with the most assists on 6.

Lack of goals has really cost Celta this season as they have picked up some decent results against the divisions top sides. Tony will be hoping that Motting can continue his good form since joining the club, but will also be aware of the need for other players to chip in their fair share to, if the Spanish club are to avoid relegation. Fans of Celticos are hopeful that they can stay up as they are only 4 points adrift of safety in Division 4.













Youth Cup Groups Final Standings and Knockout Round Fixtures

The big news form the Youth Cup this week is that all the matches have finally been played and we can now get on with the business end of the competition.

But before we do, in a Top 100 Blog Exclusive, I can exclusively reveal that Real Madrid are back IN the Youth Cup! Having quit just two weeks ago claiming the competition was costing them a shot at the league title, and in any case just wasn’t competitive enough for the three time Youth Cup final losers and this season’s odds-on favourites, Youth Cup supremo Beddows has confirmed he had ‘a conversation’ with the Madrid club’s crazy Irish manager Roy Keane, and now, lo and behold, they they are back in.


In the space of a few days, Madrid sold most of their best youth players to their closest rivals Juventus, and also to Arsenal, and - surprise, surprise - Top 100 owner Frank Hirst’s Genoa. That should certainly make the Youth Cup more competitive this season, Roy. Thank you!

WALKING THE DOG

The other big losers from this arrangement are Hertha Berlin, who would have qualified in Madrid’s absence, but Berlin boss Mark Stewart, ever the perfect host, simply stocked up his fridge with Strongbow, his cupboards with two weeks’ supply of Pedigree Chum, assorted bin liners, satsumas and several poop scoops, and his wardrobe with oversized lingerie, and welcomed Keane to take his place.

WORKING THE LAPDOG

Meanwhile reports on social media and Fake News sites alleging photographs have emerged* showing Sir Stephen Beddows naked (above the neck), wearing only a schoolgirl’s outfit and a smile while perched on Roy Keane’s lap, have led to allegations of corruption.

Hamburger boss Marsden claimed, “It’s an amazing coincidence that Hamburg go on to win Group 1 after Madrid told the world they were quitting the competition, and then two weeks later, they are back in as group winners. When I asked Sir Stephen if Hamburg could take a few weeks off and return for the final, he just laughed maniacally in a broad Cork accent."

Enough of that nonsense, and on with the football.

In the outstanding games that were still to be played to complete the final group fixtures, Liverpool beat Manchester City to confirm their third place finish and City in fourth in Group 5. In Group 4 Monaco claimed a default 3-0 win against Twente, who failed to arrange their fixture. That result lifts Monaco into second in the group.

Sir Stephen posted last week the fixture schedule and arrangement for the knockout stages, and here is the list of final standings.

TOP 8 GROUP WINNERS WITH BYE INTO ROUND 3

The best eight group winners receive a bye into the third round of the Youth Cup, and a home tie into the bargain. Here they are in order:


Group Pos Team Pl W D L C F A +/- Pts
7 1 Manchester United 10 10 0 0 0 28 9 19 30
6 1 Valencia CF 10 9 1 0 0 30 7 23 28
10 1 Leverkusen 10 9 0 1 0 34 5 29 27
4 1 Bayern 10 8 0 2 0 27 7 20 24
9 1 RSC Anderlecht 10 7 3 0 0 23 8 15 24
5 1 Juventus 10 7 3 0 0 18 3 15 24
1 1 Real Madrid 10 8 0 2 2 26 6 20 22
2 1 SL Benfica 10 6 4 0 0 25 9 16 22


HOME TEAMS IN YOUTH CUP KNOCKOUT ROUND 2

The following teams will play at home in matches 1 to 8 in the knockout round 2 of the Youth Cup:

Group Pos Team Pl W D L C F A +/- Pts
8 1 Everton 10 7 2 1 1 22 7 15 22
3 1 Barcelona 10 6 2 2 0 20 12 8 20
5 2 SSC Napoli 10 7 2 1 0 22 4 18 23
9 2 Monchengladbach 10 7 2 1 0 17 6 11 23
1 2 HAMBURG 10 7 1 2 0 22 4 18 22
8 2 Southampton 10 5 4 1 0 19 13 6 19
4 2 AS Monaco 10 6 1 3 0 17 12 5 19
7 2 Hoffenheim 10 6 1 3 1 20 14 6 18

AWAY TEAMS IN YOUTH CUP KNOCKOUT ROUND 2

And they will play the following teams:

Group Pos Team Pl W D L C F A +/- Pts
5 3 Liverpool 10 4 3 3 0 15 11 4 15
4 3 Augsburg 10 6 2 2 1 16 13 3 19
9 3 AC Milan 10 6 2 2 0 23 14 9 20
1 3 Flamengo 10 7 0 3 0 18 8 10 21
10 2 Arsenal 10 5 2 3 0 19 14 5 17
2 2 Sampdoria 10 5 2 3 0 17 9 8 17
6 2 Sevilla 10 6 0 4 0 16 11 5 18
3 2 Dortmund 10 6 0 4 0 17 12 5 18

So, in the picks of the round, Everton will play Liverpool at Goodison Park in a tasty Merseyside derby. 

Napoli will play Milan in an all Italian affair. 

And little Hoffenheim will host their German giant counterparts Dortmund.

And so on.

HOME TEAMS IN YOUTH SHIELD KNOCKOUT ROUND 2

Group Pos Team Pl W D L C F A +/- Pts
3 3 Sporting CP 10 5 1 4 1 13 11 2 15
10 3 Wolfsburg 10 5 2 3 2 11 11 0 15
2 3 Standard Liège 10 3 5 2 0 14 11 3 14
7 3 Sassuolo 10 4 2 4 0 14 11 3 14
8 3 Atlético Madrid 10 4 3 3 2 20 17 3 13
6 3 Lokomotiv Moskva 10 4 1 5 0 20 21 -1 13
4 4 Villarreal CF 10 5 2 3 0 19 13 6 17
3 4 Swansea City 10 4 2 4 0 11 12 -1 14

AWAY TEAMS IN YOUTH SHIELD KNOCKOUT ROUND 2

Group Pos Team Pl W D L C F A +/- Pts
1 4 Celtic 10 2 2 6 0 7 16 -9 8
9 4 Torino 10 3 2 5 2 9 17 -8 9
8 4 Chelsea 10 2 4 4 1 10 15 -5 9
7 4 Newcastle United 10 3 1 6 0 12 13 -1 10
10 4 Fenerbahçe SK 10 3 2 5 0 17 23 -6 11
5 4 Manchester City 10 3 3 4 1 11 15 -4 11
6 4 Cruzeiro 10 4 2 4 2 13 12 1 12
2 4 Dynamo Kyiv 10 4 2 4 1 17 16 1 13


So, for example, Sporting host Celtic in a battle of the green hoops, Liege host Chelsea, and Swansea host Kyiv. And so on.

I'll post a full list of fixtures scheduled for Saturday 18 November in a separate post, and on the newsfeed later.

*If anyone has some very basic photoshop style skills, and has the time and motivation to produce some photographic evidence to support these claims, that would be much appreciated.

Youth Cup Tables Final Round - S6 Group Stage Review

The Group Stage of the Season 6 Youth Cup is finally over, and it was both a competitive and fun season as well as the season of disappointment to an extent. The reason so is that there were many clubs that broke the rules and fielded seniors, some have done it once and some have done it quite a few times. Clubs without a broken rule have benefited a lot from this, as it allowed them to pass their direct rivals on the table, thus securing their place in the Knockout stages of the Youth Cup. Here we review each group of this season's competition. (reviews will come after each group is completely finished)




Group1


Saturday 4 November

Celtic 0 - 3 Flamengo -----
H. Berlin 1 - 0 Hamburg 0 - 3
FC Basel ----- Real Madrid 0 - 3


Team Pl W D L C F A +/- Pts

Real Madrid 10 9 0 1 1 29 3 26 26
Hamburg 10 7 1 2 0 22 4 18 22
Flamengo 10 7 0 3 0 18 8 10 21
Celtic 10 2 2 6 0 7 16 -9 8
H. Berlin 10 2 1 7 3 3 24 -11 4
FC Basel / / / / / / / / /

FC Basel have exited the competition, therefore are deemed as disqualified.

Group 2


Saturday 4 November 



Athletic Club 3 - 1 Standard Liège -----
Dynamo Kyiv 2 - 2 West Bromwich Albion 3 - 0
SL Benfica 1 - 1 Sampdoria -----


Team Pl W D L C F A +/- Pts

SL Benfica 10 6 4 0 0 24 9 15 22
Sampdoria 10 5 2 3 0 17 9 8 17
Standard Liège 10 3 5 2 0 14 11 3 14
Dynamo Kyiv 10 4 2 4 1 17 16 1 13
Athletic Club 10 2 3 5 1 8 14 -6 8
West Bromwich Albion / / / / / / / / /

West Bromwich Albion are disqualified due to accumulating 5 or more C, meaning they have broken the rules of fielding overage players 5 or more times. Remains as it is until Sir Stephen Beddows says otherwise.

Group 3


Saturday 4 November 



Crystal Palace 1 - 4 Barcelona -----
FK Partizan 1 - 3 Dortmund -----
Sporting CP 2 - 1 Swansea City -----


Team Pl W D L C F A +/- Pts

Barcelona 10 6 2 2 0 20 12 8 20
Dortmund 10 6 0 4 0 17 12 5 18
Sporting CP 10 5 1 4 1 13 11 2 14
Swansea City 10 4 2 4 0 11 12 -1 14
FK Partizan 10 3 4 3 0 15 11 4 13
Crystal Palace 10 1 1 8 0 7 25 -18 4


Group 4


Saturday 4 November 



FC Twente ----- AS Monaco Not played
Internazionale 1 - 2 Ausgburg -----
Villarreal CF 2 - 0 Bayern -----


Team Pl W D L C F A +/- Pts

Bayern 10 8 0 2 0 27 7 20 24
Augsburg 10 6 2 2 1 16 13 3 19
Villarreal CF 10 5 2 3 0 20 14 6 17
AS Monaco 9 5 1 3 0 14 12 2 16
Internazionale 10 1 1 8 1 9 22 -13 3
FC Twente 9 0 2 7 3 5 23 -18 -1


Remaining fixtures:

(not scheduled yet - only available date Saturday 11 November)
FC Twente AS Monaco


Group 5


Saturday 4 November 



AS Roma 1 - 1 Liverpool -----
Beşiktaş JK 0 - 5 Juventus -----
Manchester City 6 - 1 SSC Napoli 0 - 3


Team Pl W D L C F A +/- Pts

Juventus 10 7 3 0 0 18 3 15 24
SSC Napoli 10 7 2 1 0 22 4 18 23
Liverpool 9 3 3 3 0 13 11 2 12
Manchester City 9 3 3 3 1 11 13 -2 11
Beşiktaş JK 9 1 1 7 3 6 25 -19 1
AS Roma 9 0 2 7 2 5 19 -14 0


Remaining fixtures:

(scheduled - Wednesday 8 November)
AS Roma Beşiktaş JK

(scheduled - Saturday 11 November)
Liverpool Manchester City

Group 6


Saturday 4 November 



Cruzeiro 1 - 1 Valencia CF -----
Lokomotiv Moskva 4 - 1 Levante UD -----
Sevilla 2 - 2 Hellas Verona 3 - 0


Team Pl W D L C F A +/- Pts

Valencia CF 10 9 1 0 0 30 7 23 28
Sevilla 10 6 0 4 0 16 11 5 18
Lokomotiv Moskva 10 4 1 5 0 20 21 -1 13
Cruzeiro 10 4 2 4 2 13 12 1 12
Hellas Verona 10 3 0 7 3 11 20 -9 6
Levante UD 10 2 0 8 2 11 28 -17 4


Group 7


Saturday 4 November 



Girondins Bordeaux 0 - 2 Manchester United -----
Newcastle United 1 - 2 Sassuolo -----
West Ham United 3 - 0 Hoffenheim 0 - 3


Team Pl W D L C F A +/- Pts

Manchester United 10 10 0 0 0 28 9 19 30
Hoffenheim 10 6 1 3 1 20 14 6 18
Sassuolo 10 4 2 4 0 14 11 3 14
Newcastle United 10 3 1 6 0 12 13 -1 10
Girondins Bordeaux 10 3 1 6 3 8 20 -12 7
West Ham United 10 0 3 7 1 4 19 -15 2


Group 8


Saturday 4 November 



Atlético Madrid 2 - 0 Aston Villa -----
Olympique Lyonnais 1 - 4 Everton -----
Southampton 2 - 1 Chelsea -----


Team Pl W D L C F A +/- Pts

Everton 10 7 2 1 1 22 7 15 22
Southampton 10 5 4 1 0 19 13 6 19
Atlético Madrid 10 4 3 3 2 20 17 3 13
Chelsea 10 2 4 4 1 10 14 -4 5
Aston Villa 10 2 3 5 4 10 16 -6 5
Olympique Lyonnais 10 1 2 7 3 11 21 -10 2


Group 9


Saturday 4 November 



AC Milan 1 - 2 Monchengladbach -----
Club Brugge KV 0 - 1 Torino -----
RSC Anderlecht 1 - 0 Genoa CFC -----


Team Pl W D L C F A +/- Pts

RSC Anderlecht 10 7 3 0 0 23 8 15 24
Monchengladbach 10 7 2 1 0 17 6 11 23
AC Milan 10 6 2 2 0 23 14 9 20
Torino 10 2 2 6 2 8 18 -10 6
Genoa CFC 10 1 1 8 1 6 14 -8 3
Club Brugge KV 10 1 0 9 1 7 26 -19 2


Group 10


Saturday 4 November 



Fenerbahçe SK 2 - 1 Atalanta BC -----
Leverkusen 4 - 0 Arsenal -----
Wolfsburg 1 - 1 Feyenoord 3 - 0


Team Pl W D L C F A +/- Pts

Leverkusen 10 9 0 1 0 34 5 29 27
Wolfsburg 10 5 2 3 2 11 11 0 15
Arsenal 9 4 2 3 0 16 13 3 14
Fenerbahçe SK 9 4 2 4 0 16 20 -4 11
Feyenoord 10 3 2 5 1 14 14 0 10
Atalanta BC 10 1 0 9 0 6 34 -28 3


Remaining fixtures:

(scheduled - Wednesday 8 November)
Arsenal Fenerbahçe SK