2017
In and Out at the Estadi Cornella-El Prat!
With just three games left of the season, Espanyol look to be entering a final battle between themselves, Twente and Anderlecht for the final automatic promotion spot for Division 5. With games against Brugge, Cologne and current leaders Monaco it wont be easy, but Earle has said he has confidence in his players to claim the final position. For this to be achieved key players such as Carlos Bacca, Iago Aspas, Andriy Yarmolenko and Luis Pizzi must all step up and lead the squad. Despite the outcome of the season, there are already several moves in place arranged for the post season.
A long known departure is that of Andrea Masiello who will join recently promoted Leicester City at the start of the new season. The Italian joined Espanyol early last season and made 15 appearances in the centre of defence. He has featured a further 7 times this season but has been used sparingly due to several preferred options. Masiello will move to England for a fee of around £4.5 million where he will compete for a starting spot against exciting youngster Clement Lenglet, skilled veteran Anderson Luisao and former teammate Bruno Alves.
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| Nathan Ake, 22 |
Isaac Success will also depart from Spain. The 21-year-old only arrived at the end of October and hasn't yet made any appearances. The versatile forward is set to join Basel on the 9th of January after his transfer ban is up for a fee of close to £6 million. The move is part of a deal which saw Danijel Subasic move to Spain earlier in the season. The Swiss side are understandably excited for the Nigerian to arrive and make his mark.
The most recently agreed deal will see Georgi Schennikov head to Germany to join Hertha Berlin. The left back is another recent arrival in Spain who will see an early exit. The emergence of Fernando Marcal as the first team favourite has resulted in Schennikov start just 5 games since arriving. In the deal Paul-Jose Mpoku will move to Spain along with 19-year-old Hassane Bande. Earle has been after for Mpoku throughout the season and will hope he can replicate form from earlier seasons where he scored 10 goals and assisted 6 more in his first 40 games. The winger will join around mid January in a swap for the left back and will likely be refined to cup games, but if he impresses he will surely get his chance in the first team. Bande was strongly linked with a move to Espanyol before he joined Hertha Berlin and will finally sign for Earle's side at the end of January as a separate deal. Earle has hinted at his side entering the youth which would see the youngster pick up valuable game time. He has also been tipped as a future star by many and could combine with Ezequiel Barco to form a deadly wing partnership in next seasons tournament.
Galvao Jefferson has also been told he can find a new club after being deemed excess by Earle. Ruben Aguilar also faces an uncertain future after he has failed to impress in Spain. The 24-year-old was expected to develop in his time at the club but so far the coaches have seen minimal progression. Another player possibly on his way out is Roberto Pereyra. The midfielder hasn't commented on his future although Earle has said he'd be open to offers for the Argentine. His fast start in Spain has stalled but Earle still has faith in the 26-year-old if he choses to stay.
Rumours have linked Lautaro Acosta with a possible move to Spain from Division 1 side Napoli. The 29-year-old is Transfer Listed and Earle is apparently keen on signing the pacey wide-man if a deal can be reached. Karl Toko Ekambi is another player Espanyol are keen on. An enquiry has been made by the Spaniards to Roma who have made the forward available. It is also expected that Earle will make a move for a back up left back before the start of next season although no official offers have been made. The club have also began attempts to strengthen their youth squad for the cup next season. Several loan enquiries have been made and a number of players have been have been made available to help in the recruitment of younger replacements.
It is expected that several more moves will be agreed over the next few weeks. The squad is looking strong for the new season and Earle will hope they will be in Division 4 where they can push on.
Leicester city promoted
After relegation from division 3 under the previous regime. I took over knowing that promotion was the demand from the owners. With a complete overhaul of the side with only Rocha and Lenglet staying on.it could of all gone badly wrong.but with former players bacca and hazard scoring for fun it seemed that promotion could be a possible.
With the team picking itself and changes only made when needed due to injury and suspensions.the team was settled all season and this as proved pivotal in staying in the automatic promotion places.
With 4 games to go we knew a victory over feyernoord would guarantee us that promotion we wanted. The boys took to the field with more purpose and within 7 minutes we were 1 nill up. It wasent in till the 57th minute that plea scored to put us 2 nill up. The lads started to relax and Elia punished us to bring feyenoord back into the game. The lads dug deep to hold onto a massive win that saw us promoted to division 3 next season.
We have had a massive season the players have been brilliant and the fans have played there part. With promotion secured we now need to push hertha Berlin all the way in the race for the title. No matter what happens in these last 3 games the boys have got the smile back on there face and will look forward to the division 3 challenge that awaits us.
One Night in Turin: Youth Cup Semi-Finals
The semi-finals of this season’s Youth Cup produced spectacular and unprecedented drama both on and off the pitch last night. Well, one of the games did. Tournament favourites Benfica could manage only a draw at home to Bayern, crashing out 4-1 on aggregate. Meanwhile, over in Turin…
Madrid had forfeited the first leg 3-0 after failing to arrange their home fixture, in similar style to Benfica, who played, but lost 3-0 at home to Bayern.
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* Madrid failed to arrange their home leg.
Madrid manager Keane blamed everyone but himself for the mix-up, including claiming he had never failed to arrange a home fixture in six seasons (apart from two this season), that Juventus's team were better than his (he should know, I suppose, as he sold his best youth players to his Italian rivals), and and even claimed it was a conspiracy against him as Youth Shield games were rearranged (after the managers involved notified the Youth Cup organisers before the scheduled match days that the games couldn't be played, not a week after).
Anyway, back to the football.
To be fair, it was an incredible performance and result from Keane's boys, who, despite being thoroughly outplayed, and losing two players to red cards in the second half, still managed to win 4-3.
It was the second red, however, which change the course of the tie. Down to nine men, Juve overran the young Madrid side and score two all-important goals to win over the two legs by an aggregate score of 6-4. A 4-1 away victory would have meant an unbelievable away goals win, but in the end it could be argued that Keane paid for his aggressive approach to the match and the competition as a whole.
Shockingly, minutes after the final whistle, Keane met with the Real Madrid chairman, and was relieved of his duties as manager. Always a controversial, outspoken, and with a sharp eye for a transfer deal, Keane will this morning no doubt be out walking his dogs and reminiscing about his Top 100 Cup and Shield victories. The rest of us will be wondering who the next manager of this famous club will be, and if they can improve on Keane's two trophies in six seasons?
Over in Lisbon, Bayern ensured their passage to the final with a comfortable draw at home to Benfica.
Good luck to both teams in the final, and commiserations to the losers.
Meltdown in Milan! Beddows Responds to 3 RED CARDS and Mclean inconsolable in Post-Match Interview!
Incredible scenes tonight followed the Inter v Milan derby, a game which could have defined both sides seasons and ended in a 1-1 draw - but boring the game was not, without incident certainly not as Milan snatched an unlikely late equaliser with 8 (EIGHT) men - YES - EIGHT and Mclean’s methods of influencing the referee (which is proof of the anti Milan agenda in T100) ended in tears as he had a meltdown in the post match press conference.
Beddows himself beamed postmatch, “I am not happy with the refereeing, in fact it was s***! How the f*** do you have 3 players sent off in 1 game without outside influence and interference! I’ve been saying it for so long but no one wants to believe me that it is anti-Milan”
“Tonight Inter players got booked for challenges that could have been RED, and Milan players get RED cards for what should have been YELLOW at best!"
“I am however am delighted that we got a point in the derby against 8 men! God Save Albrighton!"
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| Beddows' inspirational decision to put on Marc Albrighton saved the day |
SO HOW DID MCLEAN RESPOND AS BEDDOWS WALKED OFF WITH A SMILE ON HIS FACE AFTER SEEING THE OTHER RESULTS - ONLY PARFITT LET HIM DOWN AND MCLEAN WAS PUT IN FRONT OF THE PRESS!
When Alex Mclean turned up to speak to the media he was seething, frothing at the mouth and seemingly more ready to blow than that volcano in Bali...
"I do not have any words right now - I do not understand how my Inter team did not beat 8 men! Ludicrous! F****** ludicrous - Beddows is a f****** idiot and how he got out of this one I do not know..."
When questioned as to his future prospects this season he refused to address his personal situation...
"I will tell you something... I will love watching them f*** it up without Balo f****** telli and Soriano and whilst I wont comment further tonight I was so glad that Milan had 3 players sent off... it made my night!"
Mclean then stormed off seemingly taking responsibility for the referees performance but refusing to acknowledge the lack of effort by the Inter boys?
Later that evening the AC Milan twitter feed ran a few hashtags#
#snowismelting #winterisending #mcleanout
Snow Joke!
The Italian newspapers this morning have gone into complete overdrive following Alex Mclean’s infamous meltdown interview yesterday in Brazil.
The following image adorned many of the front pages after is was disseminated by a twitter account called @sbedwin2017 - the Milan authorities have denied the account has any connection to the club but it has been seized upon by all of the Italian daily’s who have adorned their front pages with the image!
Youth Shield Quarter Finals Review
There were eight teams who, due to their original seeding at the start of the competition, we might have expected to be competing at least in the Youth Shield knockout rounds, if not the Youth Cup itself. Poor group performances and results, however, saw Chelsea and Hellas Verona, who were ranked 13th and 15th, fail to qulaify. Other under-achievers were Aston Villa, Levante, Genoa, Feyenoord, Roma and Internazionale.
Their failures allowed unfancied Manchester City, Fenerbahce, Torino and Cruzeiro to progress, although all four went out in the first Shield knockout round. Southampton, ranked 48th, did well to get through to Round 3, while Villarreal did even better - ranked 57th, they made it to Round 4. Best of the bunch, though are David Senior’s juniors, with his 46th seeded Sevilla side through to the semi-finals.
2nd Round (first knockout round)
Matches played on Saturday 18 November
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* After Fictional Extra Time (AFET)
+ Fener played overage team
Round 2 went more or less as expected. The biggest shocks were Standard Liege's 5-0 thrashing of a hugely disappointing Chelsea side, and 39th seeded Dynamo Kiev's surprise win at fancied Swansea (seeded 23).
34th seeds Newcastle also put in a storming performance to nick a 4-3 win at 26-ranked Sassuolo.
3rd Round (second knockout round)
Matches played on Saturday 25 November (Note: losers from Round 2 of Youth Cup all got home ties).
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+ Atletico and Dortmund played overage teams.
The third round was a round of upsets with only Liverpool, Napoli and Liege winning as expected.
Augsburg boss Ivan Inic was understandably upset to lose at home to a team 33 places below his in the seedings.
Lokomotiv gaffer Jay Jones, on the other hand, was delighted:
Atletico manager Doc seemed to blame his players:
Newcastle continued where they left off in Round 2, winning away in extra time against a much stronger team:
Sevilla dumped out 30th seeds Wolfsburg, while result of the night was undoubtedly Sporting's win in Dortmund:
Quarter Finals
Matches played on Saturday 2 and 9 December, and Wednesday 6 December.
Confusion reigned at Youth Cup HQ prior to the quarter final draw. Rounds 2 and 3 were pre-seeded, but the QFs were always supposed to be a random draw. Since his team's defeat to Juve in the Youth Cup 3rd Round, however, Youth Cup supremo Beddows hadn't been seen anywhere, and rumours were rife he was too busy drowning his sorrows in Big Barbs' warm embrace.
Finally, Beddows answered a desperate text message with the words 'FRANK GIVES ME THE 69s'. Now, there was no way I was going to Top 100 Capo Frank to ask him to give me a 69. I was sober, Beddows was likely drunk, and did he even have control of his phone? Was that Big Barbs' broken English? Plus, I knew Frank was busy adding to his own youth team. Anyway, after some dillying and dallying, we did the draw the old-fashioned way by pulling numbered balls out of bag, and made a complete hash of it.
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Sevilla continued their amazing adventure knocking out the much-improved Liege after extra time in the QFs.
Underdogs Newcastle and Villarreal's superb Youth Cup and Shield campaigns ended at Flamengo and Napoli, while Sporting continued their fantastic run with a win at 25th seeds Liverpool.
Semi Finals
That all set up the semi-final draw as follows:
First leg ties to be played on Saturday 16 December, with the reverse fixtures of the second legs to be played on Wednesday 20 December.
A ONE LINER XMAS
It got off to a very bad start for me. the previous night I had taken some sleeping pills. And some laxatives.
Not doing that again.
It was much easier when I was a child. If I couldn't get to sleep my mum smacked me. Just a few grams mind. She was good like that.
I got up and bathed. In a moment of nostalgia I picked up the bathroom toys my Mum gave to me as a nipper. A toaster and a radio.
I finished bathing and went to get dressed. I looked for my camouflage trousers to no avail. This was going well.
As I made some coffee, I turned the news on. There was a story about a lorry load of tortoises had crashed into a train load of terrapins. It was a 'turtle disaster', she said. In the next item police had arrested 2 kids. One was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
I switched over to the documentary channel. A programme about how ships are held together. Riveting.
I picked up the newspaper. Apparently 1 in 5 people now are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family so it's one of them. It's either my Mum or dad. Or my Elder brother Angus, or my younger brother Yung Tin Ho. I think it's Angus.
'Bollocks to this', I said. 'I'm off down the local greasy for some x-mas brekkie!'
On the way there I passed a fat women with 'Guess' written on her shirt. I said 'Thyroid problem?'
My local greasy serves breakfast at any time. So I ordered French toast during the renaissance.
Filled up I returned home. A postcard had arrived from my missus.
'Sex is better on holidays', it said.
A knock on the door. A man asked for a small donation for the local swimming pool. I was feeling generous, and it WAS Christmas, so I gave him some chlorine, a glass of water. and a pint of urine.
Finally, my brother Priapic and his family arrived for xmas dinner. He has 10 children. 'Why so many kids?', I asked him. 'Well Alex, I love my Wife.' 'I love my cigar but I take it out of my mouth once in a while!'
Merry Christmas all!
Mr Parfitt goes Christmas Shopping
Portugal is a hellhole at this time of year, even Nuno will tell you that, so I’ve decided to take Mrs P to London for the annual Parfitt Christmas Shopping extravaganza. I say Mrs P, we aren’t married. I need to be sure before committing. And on that subject, if she tries to get me even 1 gold ring, let alone 5 of the bastards, she’ll be lonely this Christmas.
Anyway, I’m not here to run you through the ins and outs of my private life, I’m here to tell you all about the fun we had and the people we met. It wasn’t all fun, getting there was absolute hell to be honest. I wasn’t about to take my car, not when there are Christmas beers to be sticking in me pie hole, and not Mrs P can’t even drive, so that left Kinnear Coaches as the only option.
We hopped on board, and the smell hit us instantly. A lovely aroma of piss and puke, usually only found around the bar area at a Weatherspoons got wedged right in the snout. Its origin soon became clear, the driver was in a right state. It was hard to tell exactly who it was, but he looked vaguely familiar, had a Scottish accent that I recognised from somewhere, and a Torino crest on his suit. Judging by the state of the bus, wherever it, and the driver had been last night, that’s where the party was.
So eventually the stinking old tramp at the helm of the death trap got us to Kings Cross. Me and not Mrs P hopped off and headed into the city streets for a beer before the arduous job of carrying bags so heavy that the handles start to cut through the skin on your fingers around shops so hot that you sweat like a paedo in a playground.
We weren’t the only ones to kick the day off with a beer though. As we strolled into the first pub we saw, who else did we come across but Walter Gough, Barbs and Wheels. Turns out the Funboy 3 had decided to move the party on from Marseille and Beddows Yacht to London, the second greatest city on Earth.
We sat across the way from them, although I obviously angled myself so that they couldn’t see me. I didn’t want to be caught out and have to talk to them. I overheard an interesting anecdote mind.
Wheels was telling Gough and Barbs about the night him and Schot Bruin shared a baguette. Not in a nice picnic sort of a way though, oh no. This was more in an either end inserted inside an anus kind of a way. Not the sort of thing you’d normally talk about in public, but Barbs had been sharing out some of her special stuff again, and Wheels had let his chops run away from him.
That was enough for me and not Mrs P, so we finished up and got on our way. Next stop was Camden Market. Not Mrs P wanted a new Christmas jumper. I only got her one seven years ago, but you know what women are like, never bloody happy.
So there we are, trying to avoid a bunch of steaming scum bags wearing SMACK tour Xmas ’17 t-shirts, when I spot just the thing. The stall was being run by everyone’s least favourite celebrity showmance, Beddows and Balotelli, or Stevio as they’re known in OK’s Italian sister publication, BelissimO K. Beddows was stood there like some Cockney barrow boy, trying to be like Conte, but coming across more like a cun*e, while Mazza was showing off the garb.
It’s your standard market knock off shite, but we picked one up. It set me back £3.50, but at the end of the day, if you can’t treat her at Christmas, when can you treat her?
It was just as we were leaving Stevio’s stand, one of them goons in the SMACK tour t-shirts tried to grab not Mrs P’s handbag. It was none other than Stevio’s city rival Alex McLean. To be fair to the boy, not Mrs P does like a Smirnoff or seven, and she had one stashed in her bag, so he probably had the scent like a sniffer dog for crack. Anyway, we fought him off without too much trouble, and then stood back to watch as he waded in on Beddows.
Just has your boy McLean went in for the kill, the Kevin “Besiktas Boy” McGregor appeared out of nowhere. For a little blue fella, he packs a punch. He’s got more tats than you would imagine too, and they put on a good show the pair of them.
While all this was going on, Stevio had shat themselves and run away, presumably all the way back to Milan. We didn’t see them for the rest of the day at least, but that was no loss.
As we were leaving the market for the high end shopping, we saw another one of the SMACK boys trying to raise some funds. We chucked him a Euro that somebody, probably Beddows, has sneaked into our change.
We headed down the Kings Road, which by the way has absolutely nothing at all to do with Hewitt, and went strolling towards Chelsea’s Stamford Bridge. No particular reason for it, other than to let Roman know that whichever McKenzie he’s got running the joint, was out smoking a joint with the SMACK gang.
We needed to get some more shopping done though, and not Mrs P wanted something more than Primark this year, so we went up to Harrods. Turns out they have a new “adult interest” range in there. Seemingly PMW knew all about it though. The good Prince had a trolley full of new gifts.
Obviously I asked him who they were for. He just gave a slightly embarrassed smile and said something about how he was going to stay at home with his chestnuts roasting gently by the fire.
We still needed to get something for the kids though. James Foster has been good this year, he’s looked after Alex Isaak & Ezequiel Ponce for me, so not Mrs P said we should get something for him as a thank you too.
We picked up this years must have toys, and just as we were about to leave, we came across the strangest sight. Golden Bear was sat down trying on Hewitt’s head gear for size. Christ knows how he got it, but the boy was proud as punch. Can’t say as I blame him mind, anything to bring the ego down a peg or 4.
To be honest, me and not Mrs P were about done by then, so we headed off for a curry and one last beer before heading off back home.
