2016
#MSFGA
As the season ends, Spanish football has been under a little scrutiny. Barcelona won the Division 1 title, but across the other 4 divisions, only Villareal, who topped division 4, had any real success.
As such, the good (David Senior, Gareth Crisp) and the great (Tom Parfitt) of the Spanish club managers came together with Jeff Stelling to discuss their seasons, feelings about other managers, and plans to improve things moving forwards.
Stelling: Thank you for joining me here today boys. May I firstly ask why you are here today as well Lana?
Del Rey: Well thank you for that introduction. I’m here to give Tom some moral support. He has a big plan, and he wanted me to share it with him when he breaks it to the World.
Stelling. Very intriguing. We’ll come to you in a minute Tom. Firstly though, David. Can you tell us how you feel about your season?
Senior: After avoiding relegation last season this campaign was all about consolidation and not getting dragged into a similar fight this time around and I have to be content with comfortably achieving that.
Whilst finishing only 1 place higher than last season but with 7 points more and scoring 11 more goals whilst conceding 11 less, I’m happy with the slow improvement being shown.
Before taking over the club had never won a T100 cup competition game, this season we managed to reach the 3rd round of the Shield narrowly going out on pens whilst in the Cup we reached the semi-final. Having also reached the semi-final of the Youth Cup and the quarter-final of the World Club Cup. Not only that but we are in the final of the SMFA Shield.
All this points to having managed to achieve a squad with improved depth with a decent crop of young talent, which all bodes well for the future.
Whilst finishing only 1 place higher than last season but with 7 points more and scoring 11 more goals whilst conceding 11 less, I’m happy with the slow improvement being shown.
Before taking over the club had never won a T100 cup competition game, this season we managed to reach the 3rd round of the Shield narrowly going out on pens whilst in the Cup we reached the semi-final. Having also reached the semi-final of the Youth Cup and the quarter-final of the World Club Cup. Not only that but we are in the final of the SMFA Shield.
All this points to having managed to achieve a squad with improved depth with a decent crop of young talent, which all bodes well for the future.
Stelling: Gareth, how have things been in Bilbao for you?
Athletic Finished 9th which in all honesty was a failure so am now considering my future.Started badly got better then fell apart at the end of the season when we were play off bound.
Stelling: Thank you Gareth. Some interesting comments there, and obviously you have some thinking to do in the off season. Finally, Tom. How about Levante’s season?
Parfitt: Well Jeff, as I’ve mentioned at every available opportunity, we have been held back not through a poor squad out together due to really bad management, but due to a conspiracy to stop us from getting anywhere.
Stelling: Hmm, yes, you have been quite vocal, perhaps we’ll come back to that a little later in the show. Before that particular can of worms is opened though, can we have a few words from the three of you on your rival managers. Firstly, how do you feel the Spanish top flight sides did?
Crisp: Barcelona finished where they should so can't say too much about them. Keane at Madrid seems more intent on insulting everyone rather than being also rans again. Valencia had a reasonable season so can't say too much bad about them.
Senior: Thanks for that Gareth, nice to hear somebody say something positive. As for my thoughts, Barca and Scott. A chimp would win the title with that squad, he should be winning 38 games a season and every cup going.
Real. Roy has given up the ghost on challenging for the league and content to hunt for glory with the minor trophies.
Atletico and The Doc have had a catastrophic season, as a time traveller he seems to be living on past glories and forgotten how to move forward.
Real. Roy has given up the ghost on challenging for the league and content to hunt for glory with the minor trophies.
Atletico and The Doc have had a catastrophic season, as a time traveller he seems to be living on past glories and forgotten how to move forward.
Stelling: And how about you Tom?
Parfitt: Not much more to add. Barcelona underachieved. Exactly as the other boys said, Barcelona should go through every single season without dropping a league point, and cleaning up all of the knock out trophies. Roy at Madrid is just a joke figure really. Even somebody like Earle at Espanyol would do a better job. As for Atletico, an absolutely horrific show. And Senior sitting on the desk there. At best I’d give you a D plus for the season.
Stelling: Typically brash comments there from the manager of Spains lowest ranked, and therefore worst club.
Senior: Haha, he’s got your number Tom.
Parfitt: That’s fine David, I’ve got his missus number.
Stelling. How about managers from outside of the first division? Gareth, your thoughts please.
Crisp: Sevilla only just missed out on play offs maybe should have finished higher. Villareal excellent season suberb achievment in my oponion the most difficult league. Celta Vigo and Espanyol under achieving in Division 5. Last and by every means least Levante shocking behaviour from their manager who seemed more interested on off the field antics with has been singers than anything else.
Stelling: Wow, bold stuff there Gareth. Slating half the panel in one fell swoop. How about you David?
Senior: I’d call out Greg at Malaga for disgracing a nation by being the only manager to get a Spanish side relegated and Tom at Levante for, well, just being a disgrace.
Crisp: Can I also just add something about Celta. We all know why he got the job
Stelling: So then Tom, it appears that you are not as popular amongst your peers as you thought. How would you respond?
Parfitt: Well firstly, the next time Gareth, or in fact anybody, says something about Lane being washed up, I’ll take them to the cleaners. They’ll need to go so they can get the bloodstains out. Secondly, of course they are having a pop at me. They know that the clowns on the Top 100 board are watching this, and they know which side of the fence they need to be on if they are going to get anywhere next season. The truth is this. Frank Hurst, Stephen Beddows and DP decide who will win what. They are all scared to be embarrassed by me and my side, so we are held back by any means necessary.
Stelling: And as if we couldn’t guess, how do you feel about some of the other Spanish managers outside of the top flight Tom?
Parfitt: Genuinely Jeff, I think that to a man, every single one of them has over achieved, and finished far higher than they should have.
Stelling: Wow, I’m staggered. Is that what you honestly think?
Parfitt: Of course not. Gareth said he’s considering his future. Hats off to him, he knows that he should have won that division by about 20 points. As for the others, much the same. Like Gareth has already alluded to, Chisholm only got the Vigo gig due to his connections elsewhere. I reckon a TV remote would have done a better job. And Espanyol? What a farce that is. I fancied them to win the league this season. Had a monkey on it with Frank Bet, and look what happened. I’ve got a good mind to go round Doug’s house and have off with his Playstation for that.
And as for Malaga dropping, that’s without doubt the single worst performance by anybody in the history of Top 100, with the sole exception of Beddows getting relegated.
Senior: That’s a decent point, first time I’ve ever agreed with you Tom, but people like Bilboa are putting the pain in Spain. See what I did there lol.
Parfitt: Nice one Dave, I’ll get you a Strongbow later for that.
Stelling: So then boys, to get back to order, how do you improve the state of Spanish clubs?
Senior: To be honest, I’m only really interested in improving my own clubs fortunes.
Crisp: I have to second that. I don’t give a toss what happenes to Barcelona, the Madrid clubs, or anybody else. For me, it’s Athletic Club first, Athletic Club second, and Athletic Club third.
Stelling: And how about you Tom. Pretty little Lana at the end there said you have a plan?
Parfitt: Yes, I have a plan. A plan to shake up Spanish football, to ensure we have no more seasons like this, and to shake up the Italian mafia at Juventus, AC and Genoa that controls this beautiful game of hours. It’s my plan to Make Spanish Football Great Again, or #MSFGA if you prefer. I’m calling on all managers to use the hashtag MSFGA at every opportunity. My idea is that every club that represents a country called Spain is allowed to field eleven world class players, whilst a rule is introduced that bans any club representing a country not called Spain from fielding any international players, or players over the age of 18.
Stelling: Wont that prove to be somewhat controversial Tom?
Parfitt: Maybe, but with time, and the inevitable rise of clubs like mine, and to a lesser degree David and Gareth’s outfits, the football world will realise that it is in everyone’s best interests to introduce this rule.
Cue muffled laughter and talk of a man in the midst of a complete breakdown as the studio lights go down and the credits start rolling.
Barcelona Divison 1 Champions
[youtube=[www.youtube.com/watch](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-r6jGBZXTE&w=320&h=266])
Season Review
Well what can you say another amazing season in division 1 seen Bayern Munich + Barcelona go toe to toe for the full season for the league championship.
i was disappointed as i thought it would have been a 3 horse race this season but Madrids early Promise was swept away when we beat them 1-0 at the NOU CAMP. Anyway We are delighted to win the league again as this was our Main objective again , the cups were not a target at all as we just don't have the squad to compete for both the league and the Cups , Next Season i might mix it up but will decide on that nearer the time , we did however win the The Charity Shield at the start of the season and will be looking to win that again next season. Last year we had a special season and we went nearly the full season unbeaten until the last few games , i don't think many would have thought that this kind of achievement would be surpassed but with out doubt we actually surpassed last years unbelievable achievement and during the way we seen club records being broke one which is still going with winning 17 league games in a row , an incredible achievement when you have the likes of Real Madrid , Bayern Munich , Juventus , Dortmund , Chelsea , Liverpool and Napoli all played in the last 17 games .Another Record that was broken was Points tally for a season in Division 1 , ending up on 105 points when considering there was only 114 to play for is one record that i think will never be beaten . We may have a a great squad but considering we had a lot of injuries at the start of the season and even Messi was suspended for 3 games at the start we truly showed why we are champions.
i was disappointed as i thought it would have been a 3 horse race this season but Madrids early Promise was swept away when we beat them 1-0 at the NOU CAMP. Anyway We are delighted to win the league again as this was our Main objective again , the cups were not a target at all as we just don't have the squad to compete for both the league and the Cups , Next Season i might mix it up but will decide on that nearer the time , we did however win the The Charity Shield at the start of the season and will be looking to win that again next season. Last year we had a special season and we went nearly the full season unbeaten until the last few games , i don't think many would have thought that this kind of achievement would be surpassed but with out doubt we actually surpassed last years unbelievable achievement and during the way we seen club records being broke one which is still going with winning 17 league games in a row , an incredible achievement when you have the likes of Real Madrid , Bayern Munich , Juventus , Dortmund , Chelsea , Liverpool and Napoli all played in the last 17 games .Another Record that was broken was Points tally for a season in Division 1 , ending up on 105 points when considering there was only 114 to play for is one record that i think will never be beaten . We may have a a great squad but considering we had a lot of injuries at the start of the season and even Messi was suspended for 3 games at the start we truly showed why we are champions.
Season Highlights
Well there has been a few season highlights for me again beating our Main rivals twice in a row at the Nou Camp and the Alianz Arena , We also won home and away against Real Madrid which is always nice to get one over on Roy seen as he has so much to say about me and my side . The 2 games that stick out as our hardest tests this season were both 3-2 wins for our side we dominated both games with Man city goalie and Chelsea goalie ending up Man of the match , and scoring vital winning goals within the last 10 minutes , remembering watching those games and thinking that we were going to have one of those games were you have all the chances and take none but we showed Great Character to win those games and to go on and finally be crowned Champions.Barcelona Season Awards
well there isn't any shocks as to who won the Barcelona Player of the Year award and Top Goalscorer award the FIFA Ballon d'Or , But there was a shock to who won the Players Players of the year award . Totally deserved i might add , people look at our squad and all they see is Messi scoring X amount of goals and get X amount of assists and getting man of the match weekly but we would be nothing without our Defence and the guy who has been our Main rock for the last few Seasons has been our Outstanding Goalie Manuel Neuer , he only conceded 22 goals last season and unbelievably only conceded 22 this year , People may say that we would be lost without Messi but i truly believe we would be much worse off if we lost Neuer .Barcelona Top Goalscorer -Lionel Messi - 31 goals scored
Barcelona Player of the Year - Lionel Messi - 26 MOTM
Barcelona Players Player of The Yr - Manuel Neuer - 21 clean sheets
Neuer Players Player of the Year Award
Team Celebrations
SM Top 100 TV - Milan Special
Beddows is quite clearly in dreamland, knighted by the Queen on the San Siro pitch at full time last night, promotion achieved against greater odds than Leicester winning the league, a marriage proposal made by Silvio to Beddows on behalf of his beautiful daughter Barbara which will unite two strong allied families and now a Gaelic speaking Manc clown being appointed as manager of Inter - could life be any sweeter?
For sure Malcolm could have gone extinct, Billington perhaps put in his place and given Augsburg or even better still to confuse everyone perhaps even further Nathan Prince could have been given a big job - as Parfitt says too many Princes, Dukes and Earl’s already in this world - only one person of importance matters and that is Sir Beddows!
So back to our story Milan celebrated long and hard into the night at full time after being awarded the runners-up cup in SM T100 and the club have made a celebratory video to recognise the achievements of Beddows and the players this season and SM T100 TV did release a screenshot showing some of the antics of the Milan first team.
And then the video that the world has craved…
FORZA MILAN!!!!
[youtube=www.youtube.com/watch
It is believed that the Parkinson Interview will be published within the coming days…
NEWS FROM THE TARDIS
 |
| The Doctor almost tripped his way to relegation but it was all ok as he knew it would have been anyway. |
"Ok well here I am !! I've made it to the end of the season !! I've got to admit I didn't think I would make it this far trying to balance my time (well it's not really mine but I like balancing it) between battles in deep space thousands of years ago and cold afternoons in 21st century Earth trying to motivate a young group of future superstar humans to "PUT THE FUCKING BALL IN THE NET YOU TWAT" !! .
Yeah it's been a funny one alright ... Getting dumped out of the domestic cups early on ... Having a great youth run and getting the nippers to the semis or quarters I can't really remember, contrary to popular belief were not that bothered
... Having a great smfa shield run and getting knocked out to a well organised Chelsea in the semis in the end .. All topped off with a relegation battle ALL BLOODY SEASON !! No matter what formation I used the boys struggled so yeah very funny ... my highlights include beating both Manchester sides in the league , beating Barcelona in the youth cup and the relegation battle really , I've still never been relegated in this game and I really thought my time had come , here's to next year !!
I've a few tricks up my old sleeves and I'm sure we will look like a different side come Season 4 , ok now I've got a few weeks off I'm of somewhere sunny .... I know a nice planet where there are 3 suns and the oceans are made up of Stella Artois , don't bother bidding on my lads ... THE DOCTOR IS OUT !!! Ciao"
Division 5 Play-Off Preview
Division 5 Play-Off Preview
Flamengo (4th) go into Saturday’s Playoff Semi-Final with a fully fit side after earning the right to rest the 1st XI for the final league game. Conversely, Zagreb threw everything at making 7th spot so the fitness advantage lies with the Brazilians. During the regular season Mark’s side achieved a home and away double over the Croatians but this was before Jess took charge. Current form is 5pts from 18 for Flamengo and 10pts from 18 for Zagreb. A typically raucous carnival atmosphere is expected at The Maracana
Odds: Flamengo Evs, Zagreb 11/4
SCORE: Flamengo 0 - 1 Zagreb
v 
SCORE: Flamengo 0 - 1 Zagreb
v Brugge (5th) and Celtic (6th) have been hard to separate during the regular season playing out two draws in the league and a further draw in R2 of the T100 Cup after 90 minutes. Current form is similarly tight with both clubs recording 7pts from 18 during the run-in. Fitness-wise both clubs took the decision to rest key players in the final game of the regular season so, again, no particular advantage either way. If, as looks eminently possible, the tie is to go to penalties then Celtic edged the aforementioned T100 Cup game by 5-4. Davy, however, can rely on The Jan Breydel Stadion to be absolutely rocking tomorrow as his boys seek to capitalise on home advantage
Odds: Brugge 5/4, Celtic 7/4
SCORE: Brugge 2 - 0 Celtic
FINAL: Brugge v Zagreb
Monday 17th October
Estadio Azteca, Mexico
SCORE: Brugge 2 - 0 Celtic
FINAL: Brugge v Zagreb
Monday 17th October
Estadio Azteca, Mexico
Maid Malaga Goes Down
Maid Malaga Goes Down
The Spanish press took great delight this evening as they gathered at La Rosaleda, Malaga where underfire manager Greg Bilboa was finally sacked after an absolutely dismal campaign that resulted in Malaga being relegated to Division 5....
It was a bittersweet day for Bilboa who, earlier in the day had been awarded the freedom of the city due to his selfless actions in the local community helping old ladies crossing the road, opening doors for young attractive secretary's and giving open workshops to the local Cad, Rotter, Bounder, Stinker, Rascal and Scoundrel group - that went down a real treat.
So, under his newly acquired title 'The Sheriff of Malaga' and his newly found confidence he let rip and sounded out the real reason that Malaga went from title contenders to relegation fodder in a few short months.
'Let there be no doubt about it, Maid Malaga's misfortune lies solely at the feet of Friar Frank and his band of merry bandits led by those rotters Norman Little John and Squire Roberto of Downinho'.
'Up until the Newcastle job became available and my application being made public the players have waned, all of my efforts have been in vain as the team fully expected me to be installed as Newcastle manager on merit and not some bag of swag as it seems that scoundrel Norman Little John swayed the deal with. Basically they fully expected a new manager to be installed at Malaga.
That didnt happen due to some underhand tactics and so the form dipped, Even when Norman Little John was installed as the Newcastle manager the players fully expected their undoubtedly talented manager to be offered another high profile position at another top club - that opportunity never presented itself and so we find ourselves now relegated and with the best thing to ever happen to this club, one Greg Bilboa..... sacked!! Sacrilege and an injustice based upon the fraud and skulduggery that created this debacle'.
So, while Friar Frank tucks into his celebratory promotional partridge let him be accountable for his actions, last season he cost Maid Malaga a place in Division 3 due to his underhandedness and deviousness - this season he has gone a step further, not only having a hand in relegating the popular Spanish side to the depths of Division 5 but now his monkey business has also cost Bilboa his job!!!
The Spanish media is awash with protests and there are calls from such popular Malagans as Antonio Bandaras and Pablo Picasso demanding that Greg Bilboa be reinstated with immediate effect - popular first team players Ochoa of Oswaldtwistle, Roco of Rock Ferry and Sire Stepanenko of Southport have come out in support, in fact the protests have reached such fever pitch that the tag line #MalagapraysBilboastays is the number 1 trend across twitter tonight......
#MalagapraysBilboastays
Boca Juniors Release a Press Statement
Boca Juniors Statement:
Following the last game of the season the board have met to discuss the clubs’ imminent relegation to Division Three and the future direction the club wishes to take.
As a result of these talks a number of decisions are hereby announced.
The position of the Clubs Manager Sir Kevin Wallace will be resolved immediately, The Club have decided that he will remain Boca Manager for the season ahead but are triggering a clause in his contract whereby should the club fail to regain its Division Two status with a successful promotion campaign next season the contract shall be terminated on the final day of next season. Both Manager and Club have signed this agreement tonight.
In light of the financial implications of relegation, with immediate effect the club will reduce its wage bill by a squad reduction to 43 from the current 49. The manager has been tasked with this reduction and offers have tonight been made to Seven players to join the club at both full and youth team level. In total 13 of the current playing staff will be allowed to leave to bring about the required squad reduction.
It shall be left to the Manager to decide if the All Argentinian player policy is to continue, the squad for next season shall be his and the results gained will be measurable against the promotion target set.
The Club also wish to intimate a willingness to take part in the Youth Cup next season, something they did not do this season, and the Manager is tasked with ensuring a squad balance to allow this.
The Board wish to thank all the loyal Boca Supporters for their continued support in these trying times…the goal for next season is specific and failure to meet the standards we expect shall result in a change of Manager and direction…
SM Top 100 Match of the Day: AC Milan vs Tottenham Hotspur
Welcome to the first Match of the Day report for SM Top 100 brought to you by the wonders of the 2D Match Engine.
Today’s match is the final game in Season 3 featuring the top-of-the-table clash between hosts AC Milan and their visiting rivals Tottenham Hotspur.
Milan have shown amazing form all season, and have led the league almost unbroken since the beginning of the season. However a couple of hiccups in the last few rounds left the door open. Spurs meanwhile have been consistent all season, and an amazing run in which only saw them drop 5 points in the last 9 games sees them viewing for the title which Milan thought they had sewn up.
So it’s a “winner-take-all” league final, with bragging rights to the Division 2 title at stake at the San Siro. Over to the match …
And so we have it - a win to Spurs, and with it the Division 2 title. Congratulations to David the Fox Piero. But with both teams promoted, they’ll have plenty of chances to take the measure of each other next season in Division 1!
Tune in during Season 4 for more Match of the Day Highlights.