The Vigo Affair

Following Thursday nights shock defeat to high flying Celta Vigo, Levante’s invincibles were embroiled in a fresh controversy.

It has been alleged that Vigo manager Ryan Chisholm, along with former Levante player and Vigo’s goal scorer last night Gareth Barry, bribed a member of the Levante squad to ensure his side took the spoils.

No names have yet been mentioned, but Levante youth player Jermaine Anderson has since left the club, and was last seen packing 40 brand new pairs of Hi Tec Silver Shadow’s into a suit case. The rumor is that Jermaine will be supplementing his income at new employers Peterborough United with a market stall in the city selling trainers.

Unsurprisingly, nobody from Vigo would comment, but as is to be expected, Parfitt has his two pence worth.

In the post match press conference, Parfitt said that Vigo should be expelled from the league, and all the points that they have gained via their disgusting cheating methods, should be handed to Levante. Not only that, the staff and players to a man should be banned from football for life. So much so that they shouldn’t even be allowed to play FIFA or Subbuteo.

Parfitt also reiterated his stance that the big clubs are looked upon favourably, and that the reason Levante are struggling is not anything to do with poor management, or a weak squad, but everything to do with the “Old Boys Club” at the top of the game.

He went on to once again name a few that he feels are at the root of the issue. Firstly, city neighbour David Senior was labelled a pot stirring imbecile. Parfitt said that just because he is a neighbour, there is no call to be buddies. “He’s like that neighbour who keeps an old sofa and washing machine in the front garden. He’s close, but you wish he wasn’t.”

Stephen Beddows was next in the firing line, being labelled as a “vomit inducing sycophant”. Parfitt claimed that Beddows tongue was “so far up Frank Hirst’s backside, he’s like a walking colonic irrigation”.

Roy Keane and DP also received less than favourable comments from the Levante gaffer. He said that he had “tried seeing things from their point of view, but I couldn’t fit my head up their arses too”.

The final rocket was reserved for PMW. After a lot of acrimony between the two earlier in the season, and Anderlechts tumble down the table, Parfitt suggest that the Royal One had “once again located his deep throat”, and that there was no other easily explainable reason for the Belgian outfit to have won last night.

Will Parfitt be reprimanded for his comments? Will the Top 100 board have the balls to take him to task? Will Parfitt accept a gagging should it arise? Only time will tell…..