Italian Manager Mid-Season Review Season 3




Following on from the comprehensive review of the Italian managers over the previous two seasons it is now time for the Italian Manager Review season 3. This season Gino Kinnearo has also decided to compare the scores from the previous 2 seasons to see if that manager has shown any improvement.

DP 91 Juventus are as doped up as a non-banned Russian athlete at the Rio Olympics and this is the sole reason for their continued supposed dominance of the better managers that surround them, take Gordon Kinnear for example or David Senior with that Juventus side they’d have come mid-table and they are talented managers yet DP somehow finds an extra gear from somewhere or is it an extra injection? One thing is for certain DP doesn’t give his players Lucozade sport at half-time and yet Frank Hirst stands by and lets this happen – disgraceful.

In addition his continued hounding of every man and his dog in order to strengthen his squad is abysmal he is a homeless man sleeping outside the house of a different manager every evening and then taking his personal helicopter to training each morning. One manager reported 20x missed calls, 15 text messages, 12 messages on fb messenger,  10 emails, 8 tweets, 5 whatsapp messages and 1 voicemail in the space of 1 hour from the horrible excuse of a man – all enquiring for the same player and most were aggressive in nature.  



2/10
Mister Dinosaur T-Rex Malcolm  Fiorentina – This season Mister Malcolm hasn’t failed to disappoint as ever and he has been about as brilliant as a gelato in Antarctica, once again proving that dinosaur tactics have no place in the new match engine and even Mr Gore has called for Malcolm to be sacked. The former “supposed” Italian team of the year have lost their heart, a heart ripped out by a blunt and boring style of football brought by an overaged manager who finds himself grappling onto the slippery pole that will surely see him sacked come early October. 

Malcoasauras some of the Florentine press have come to call him in recent weeks.

1/10
Malcoasauras as he has became known has been gobbled up by almost everyone
Fred Dodger  Lazio – Sensational – but still not as good as Beddows – he is without doubt the most over achieving Italian manager in the whole of SM Top 100 – so out of his depth that he is having to use an inflatable pink lilo just to stay afloat. Whilst his work this season might be miraculous there is some doubt to its legitimacy as last season he survived at the death on the last day and numerous sightings across the globe of Dodger and Hirst at several Costa Coffee outlets in Umbria, Liguria, on the French Riveria, on the Copacabana and on Merseyside have sparked rumours that some sort of method of payment has resulted in the season that Lazio are having.

4/10
Rob Ryan Napoli – another manager who has overachieved perhaps following his promotion from Div 2 last season. As to why there are where they are there are any number of explanations but other more brilliant managers – like The Doctor at Atletico and Noisy are Leverkusen underperforming are making Rob look better than what he actually is. In addition, inconsistent team selections and too many experiments are not being supported by the Napoli board or supporters – does he think he is some kind of scientist?

4/10

Stephen Beddows AC Milan – Beddows has once again proved his brilliance as a manager – top of the table for much of the season but his side have suffered due to a relentless calendar with the WCC and Youth Cup commitments but find themselves with a good chance of avoiding relegation as we approach the 2/3 part of the season.

Balotelli otherwise known as God has been a revelation once again with an amazing amount of goals this season, the youths have been excellent and even though we expect Milan to finish about 10th do not be surprised if they overachieve this season and finish 9th.

The continued oppression of Milan by other T100 managers clearly isn’t working this season but as Beddows said he and his players are only human and the continued bullying is likely to take its toll sooner or later – but so far so good – EXCELLENT.

10/10

Neil Frankland AS Roma – Not having a bad season once again but Neil as a manager is clearly like a good jockey whose horse always goes lame 4 fences before the end and we shouldn’t expect anything less this season. Any manager who abandons his side to his kids to go on holiday mid-season to the Dominican Republic should be publically flogged and if this was Roman times for sure the fans would have sent Frankland to be a Gladiator where he’d stand no chance.

Most Roma fans are largely disappointed with the lack of progress under Frankland and to be honest with the word “Frank” in his surname believed that they would be given some favours by the T100 hierarchy – some Roma fans have called him lazy for not trying to capitalize on this remarkable coincidence but it appears that Frankland is only interested in succeeding in his new chain of Coffee shops he has opened in Rome (Frankie’s) as opposed to bring success on the football field.

6/10

Brian Clough Inter Milan – Absolutely disgraceful again from Clough. He is a poor excuse for an Inter manager and following on from such failures as Dr Fox and PMW he was only ever going to surely emulate their effectiveness at failure – yet he actually went a step further and got them relegated.

Most Inter fans expected at least Top 7 this season but that is seeming unlikely at present with the possibility of Inter surpassing their City rivals about as likely to happen as Wayne Rooney to lose the England captaincy. Farcical is a word many journalists have used to describe some of Brian’s post-match interviews this season following defeats against minnows such as Donetsk, Lyon and Lokomotiv Moscow – I mean who the hell is Greg Owen!


1/10

Frank Hirst Genoa – a success story that is about as surprising as Nigel Farage’s decision to step down, everyone knew that Frank does not take defeat lightly and as such it is actually against the rules in T100 to beat Genoa and Frank. Beddows has long continued to vent this rhetoric around the gameworld yet no one listens and Frank continues to dominate. His signings are all clearly about as innocently clean as Gadhafi and yet still no action. It is perhaps a forgone conclusion that Frank will continue to rise up and up the leagues and Gino for one has already decided to bet £1million pound on Genoa going up again next season, unfortunately the odds are as little as 1/100000 so he doesn’t stand to win much.

5/10

Attila Olah Udinese – the Hungarian hound continues to produce miracles in the Youth Cup as his side next fact the might of Real Madrid. Yet in the league they continue to be uninspiring, like his countrymen Attila has proposed to build a fence to stop the dissenting fans from getting into the ground on matchday but when he realised this would mean he wouldn’t be able to pay the wages of such talents as Pohjanpalo and Kouassi he quickly backed down.

Having been in charge at Udine for 12 months now there clearly has been no signs of improvement in the first XI aside from cheating to win the Division 4 play off in season 1 and many fans want him out.

3/10

Attila has tried to built a wall at Udinese


Sean Cass  Atalanta – Milan’s nearest neighbour who they actually get on with. Sean is a fantastic manager whose own success this season is almost mirror image of Milan’s and that can be put down to Beddows and the regular glass of Barbera wine and plate of pasta which the two managers regularly share at Beddows’ favourite Brazilian restaurant in Milan (happy to name it if any of you ever go.)

Consistency in results and team selection have seen Sean get the best out of his average players like Mehmedi and Flanagan and don’t be surprised if they do go up to Division 3 next season.  

5/10

paddy d Chievo Verona – Paddy is in his first full season in charge at Chievo and he manages a side who are about as up and down as the Vengaboys yet presently find themselves just outside the play offs. With a front two of Ibisevic and Pelle without question have the fire power to push on and get promotion but the temperament of Paddy, a man with Irish ancestry and known to turn up to training drunk may take its toll and have a negative impact on the other players.

5/10


André Libras-Boas Hellas Verona – Andre has had the unenviable task of following in the footsteps of such greats as Marco De Angelis and Davy (that Furry guy from Belgium) yet he is performing quite well and like his city rivals find themselves on the brink of the play-offs.

A well balanced squad is certainly in evidence here but having a double barrelled surname might have a negative impact on the Verona natives who are more used to Montagues and Capulets as opposed to Libras-Boas’ who has not endeared himself to the locals with his criticism of the local area and its culture or lack of – one such story occurred when he criticised the Verona authorities for banning ‘ethnic kebab shops’ now making it nigh on impossible to find a decent kebab within a 100 mile radius and has resulted in Andre losing about 10lbs.

4/10

Michael Hudson Torino – Are we going to get through an anaylsis of Huddo without mentioning Kangaroos, well we shall try. Again a largely disappointing season for Huddo who has a squad capable of dominating sides, yet like his own nation at the Olympics he appears to be a man who cannot cope with pressure and is quite happy to finish 5th and 6th and publically applaud the victors whilst privately scratch his head trying to understand why it is not he who is at the top – grow a pair of bloody balls Huddo.

It was reported in the Sydney Morning Herald that Huddo’s approach to management doesn’t resemble a typical Aussie bouncing up and down but at half-time he plays the players episodes of My Little Pony and Care Bears and his philosophy of “love for everyone” is not supported by the players.
It remains to be seen if he will be sacked come the end of the season but surely after 3 seasons of no success it is time for a change in Turin.

Huddo – Torino manager
2/10

Bob «Groucho» Sal Sassuolo – Bob is a man loved by all at Gazzatta dello Sport and it breaks our heart to see him struggling for breathe at the wrong end of Division 4. He kindly let Beddows progress in the Youth Cup and this is a favour that shall not be forgotten but could Sassuolo really be facing double relegation? Who is at fault surely Bob is to blame?

Not so – the “Blame Bob” campaign which has been started by a large number of the Sassuolo fans is an utter disgrace and is probably financed by DP and his supporters to unsettle the club and force Bob out allowing Drum, Zaza and Luan to move to Juventus for cut price cash deals.

We hope Bob will survive but do not feel that the Canadian manager will last out the winter.

5/10
Marco De Angelis Sampdoria – A brilliant appointment which has turned out to be slightly uninspiring. The Sampdoria fans were delighted to have an angel as their manager expecting him to bring uplifting performances and wings of goals yet this has not materialised and Marco is said to be frustrated by the continued references to angels by the press.

He has had to rebuild his side from scratch and therefore we should recognise this in the review and we hope that he will survive the sack race.

4/10


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s