Shame in Spain for Sao Paulo


Hundreds arrested as Spoons fans rampage in Spain

Following Sao Paulo’s 1-0 Youth Cup defeat to Celta Vigo last night hundreds of their infamous self styled ‘Spoon Army’ fans went on a orgy of destruction in the famous old Galacian city, causing 1000’s of Euros of damage, with fighting going on into the early hours between groups of spoonigans & local riot police.

Sporks 

The game itself was a tense affair with Celta Vigo fans reigning Sporks down on the visiting Paulo fans in the stand below. The away fans also complained of heavy handed policing inside the ground with fans being searched for weapons on entering the stadium & at half time.
Found on the terraces
A home made spoon-knife

Weapons Haul

A converted firing pistol
Plans found on a Spoons fan
Chief Inspector Valdes of the Vigo police revealed that his officers had confiscated over 200 weapons from Spoons fans, including modified knives, catapults & even firing pistols altered to fire spoons, deadly at close range.

Golden Spoons

Trouble flared when members of the Spoon Army hardcore ultras known as ‘Los Chucharas’ ransacked an antique shop in the City’s prestigious Bouzas area, a carefully planned operation that resulted in the theft of the Golden Spoons of Paulista. These priceless spoons were bought back by the Spanish conquistadors from South America & have immense cultural significance, both in Spain & in South America. 
From then onwards it was mayhem, shops, restaurants, even public toilets & kiosks were smashed, looted & set on fire. 
Golden Spoons of Paulista

Powerless

Although the Vigo riot police deployed water cannons & mounted police, the sheer numbers of Spoon fans meant they were powerless to contain the carnage. The Spoon Army had been drinking since noon and were heavily armed with various spoons despite the searches at the stadium. Each volley of spoons at the police riot shields found a new victim, 55 police were hospitalised, most with spoon gashes, some had been struck by ladles & one unfortunate officer had a teaspoon forcibly inserted up into his rectum.
Weapons recovered from Vigo streets

President

Sao Paulo President’s Limo after attack
At one point the president of Sao Paulo Football Club, Mr Hugo Forks, drove into the centre square in an attempt to halt the violence. With the aid of a police megaphone he appealed for the fans to lay down their spoons & return to their hotels quietly. The President, who frequently over estimates his own popularity with his own fans was showered with spoons, mostly landing on his car, but a few caught him in the face & he had to be given emergency treatment when a caviar spoon became wedged in his medial tonsil.

Investigation

As of now all is quiet, police have made over 300 arrests & the local ambulance, fire services & scrap metal collectors are turning in after a very busy night indeed.
The local mayor has declared her outrage at the ‘wanton destruction & vandalism caused by these barbaric utensil wielding fans from Brazil’. ‘They may carry dessert spoons & French sauce spoons but they act like animals’ she probably said.
The FA have announced an investigation but as most of the trouble occurred outside the stadium & after the match had ended there may be little it can do.
A spoon today

Who are the Spoon Army?

The Spoon Army were formed in the late 1980’s in response to attacks by gangs of Botafogo fans known as ‘The Chisels’ as they carried & often hurled chisels in their attacks. In one particularly violent encounter in 1988 Botafogo & Gremio fans (known as The Steam Irons’ due to their use of these as weapons) joined forces to chisel & steam the Sao Paulo fans & many were injured that day.
‘Terrifying’ Spoon Army
It was after that incident that the spoon in it’s many forms was adopted by the Sao Paulo Ultras & since then they have become the most feared firm in South America, even more so than the infamous Gremio ‘Secateurs’, the River Plate ‘Plates’ & of course the Racing Club ‘Fish Slices’.

Sepp Blatter

Drugs on a spoon
More drugs on a spoon
Since then they have gone on to become the major drugs cartel in Brazil, transporting an estimated 13 million euros of drugs through the region. They own & operate a legitimate spoon factory and have even presented the visiting FIFA president Sepp Blatter with his own personalised silver spoon.

Deaths Head Spoon

Everywhere they go they are accompanied by the clatter of spoons & often when they leave the ground is festooned with them. Victims, whether opposing fans, police or even looted shops are left with the Spoon Army calling card, possibly the most feared spoon today, the Deaths Head Spoon, 
Spoon Army calling spoon

10 comments

  1. Marco, I don't know ow you found this footage but these are 3 Spoon Army members in Sao Paulo prison each doing time for football related offences. They are practising the 'discipline of the spoon' while squeaky Micky Handle narrates in the background. These sessions can & often do go on for hours at a time, it's part of the rigorous training & self discipline that is required to be at one with the spoon.

    Like

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