Top100 Transfer Gossip Ed4

In fair Verona where we lay our scene, Levante are still wining and dining Chievo Ezequiel Ponce, however his manager Paddy D is playing hardball. Paddy is thought to have warned Ponce away from moving to Spain, advising him ‘Everyone has their fate and the more people try to avoid it, the more trouble they get into.’ In response, Parfitt has told the young Argentinian, ‘Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne’er saw true beauty till this night.’ It’s becoming a real Romeo and Juliet affair.

Parfitt is also thought to be monitoring Andy Najar of Anderlecht, although conspiracy theorists on that there interweb have postulated that ulterior motives may be at play. Is the interest real, or is Tom Parfitt merely trying to get a spy in PMW’s camp in the battle of Lana Del Ray? 
Liege continue to look for a new attacking midfielder. Foster is thought to be getting more desperate than Dean Gaffney at 3am in a nightclub and could be willing to offer a combination of Massimo Bruno, Ruben Rochina, Lukas Hinterseer, Omar Mascarell, Jorge Rojas, Mubarak Wakaso and a number of youth players for the right man.
After a brief mid-season holiday (although club sources say it was a breakdown brought on by the stress of a relegation dog fight), Lyon gerante Warren Livesey is on the lookout for a striker. After a chance encounter with a fan in Rhodes, the penny dropped that he needed to score more goals. Cash is on offer, although Livesey may offer players aswell should the deal require.
Rahul’s transfer merry go round shows no sign of stopping anytime soon. Eder is likely to be exchanged for a younger defensive midfielder (N’Diaye and De Roon have been mentioned in the corridors of Villa Park), freeing up Marcelo Diaz for a move away from Birmingham. Moving on Diaz may not be easy however as his agent has secretly admitted that he’s not on a single Top100 shortlist, ‘He’s as popular as Rolf Harris at a childrens party…’ Other targets for the Bastion of Aston include Ryan Shawcross of Shakhtar Donetsk, with an offer already placed involving a Drogba–esque player and 130495828.32 Hryvnia.
Speaking of Shawcross, rumours of an existing deal with an unnamed Russian club are rife, although said manager of the club that sounds very much like Dynamite Kev, has been MIA for 5 days now, potentially nullifying any pre-agreed trade.
Fans of German Division 5 team Werder Bremen have protested outside the clubs training ground this week, begging manager Gav Harmer to sign both a striker to improve the attack, and a new goal keeper outerer to help stem the bleeding of goals. Whether Gav will move for Villa’s Eder, Liege’s Lukas Hinterseer or Manchester United’s Sergio Romero however remains to be seen.
Frank Hirst’s Genoa are thought to be on the lookout for a home grown striker. After Pavoletti’s hat trick in the World Club Cup, Hirst’s match notes has a little love heart with some scribbles in the middle. Analysts poured over the doodle to try and decipher it, and came to the unanimous assumption that it said ‘FH *hearts* LP’. Once Frank has a man in his sights, he pulls out all the stops to take him in the, sorry, to the Marassi.
Doug ‘Lean out of the Range Rover Window’ Earle has announced that Jon Ander is up for sale over at Espanyol following the arrival of fellow Spaniard Alex Remiro. Claudio Pizarro may be allowed to leave the club, however sources in France indicate interest in Yannis Salibur and Jimmy Cabot, so don’t rule out a part exchange involving grandpa Claudio. That’s only if he can make it all that way without having to stop for multiple toilet breaks.
Having lost out on one deal lately due to chairman incompetence, West Brom head honcho Mark Deadman is expected to travel to Sunderland in the next few days to personally negotiate with Wayne Bullough. A number of deals are on the table, with discussions set to take place over a nice Isaac Cofie and an Ivan Piris of cake.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s