Miller Bolanos has asked to leave Hamburger SV after deciding to go vegan, Levante are rumoured to be interested, with Cotan and Rabiu expected to be shown the door to make way.
David Senior forgot to buy Yaya Toure a cake to celebrate the fact it’s Tuesday, so he’s spat his dummy out and is looking to move on. Meanwhile Alvaro Morata has continued offers but will not leave unless the deal benefits the first eleven.
Sources also indicate that Senior has been linked with a mystery top player, offering Morata and Mina for the star.
Sampdoria chief Marco has provided his chairman with a list of targets, Pavoletti, Lapadula, Sportiello, Milk, Bacon and Eggs, showing that he doesn’t really know what he wants for his team, except a nice brew and some breakfast…
A new midfielder is required over in Liege, Belgium. Foster has been accused of having a scatter gun approach after declaring he has no set target, just better than existing players. Kostic of Athletic Club is rumoured to be an option, however Crisp has declared that he ‘wouldn’t sell that Flemish sod Ali Dia, never mind an actual footballer…’
Will Grigg is also expected to be made available after the clubs fire extinguisher bill has escalated dramatically since his signing.
Joe Allen is the subject of a bid from Crystal Palace. The Welsh Pirlo, and let’s be honest he’s a half decent midfielder with a beard, not Pirlo, is desperate to leave City having been displaced by another Welshman, Aaron Ramsey.
Chievo Verona are looking to reap the benefits by selling Moussa Sow. The Senegal striker is similar to Gervinho only with better hair. Olympiakos, Celta and Spartak have all been linked.
Spartak have also been linked with a move for Jamaican prodigy Leon Bailey. It’s thought that the exact same weather conditions between Glasgow and Moscow would make the transition much easier.
Feyenoord manager Zaid Griffin has refused to acknowledge transfer offers for his players, with many rumoured to be targets of other sides. It’s been reported that he’s currently hiding from police for making children and chickens smoke against their will.
After moving on Jordan Veretout, Aston Villa are looking to bring in Valentin Stocker as his replacement. Valentin is thought to be worried that he won’t be a permanent fixture in Birmingham however, and is concerned he may be nothing more than a Stock(ing)er Villa. Terrible. I know.
Over at Lazio, Andrea Favilli has been scouted by fellow Italians, Sampdoria and Sassuolo, whilst Emanuele Giaccherini has been fondled, sorry, touched up, sorry tapped up by Crystal Palace and some lower division teams. It’s thought that one of the offers included his very own pub when the stalwart retires but he’s so far resisted the chance to pour his own Peroni’s.