FANNIE TO FANNIES: The Interviews, number 7, MICHAEL BOWES (Arsenal)

Good day to you all and welcome to another of Fannie Licker’s interviews with managers from the TOP 100 game world. This is number 7 in the series and Fannie has an announcement to make about the future of the interviews. As you know, Fannie has been desperately trying to lose weight and she has been doing very well. In fact, Houston, we have a problem! Just over a week ago, Fannie reached her target weight to the delight of everyone connected to her but when it was time to come off the diet, she couldn’t do it. She turned her nose up at every little thing that contained sugar or had too many calories, so she stayed on the diet. The result? well you will see soon enough as I believe she is so delighted with the amount of weight she has lost that she had to post a photograph of herself as of yesterday. Also, here is the part I have been contracted to do, Fannie has released a cook book with all her favourite recipes. There is also a part where she takes you through step by step on how to make her special do-nuts. So, I hope you buy the book just for that part alone and I really do hope that all of your do-nuts look like Fannies.
Anyway, for now, it’s time to get on with the show. So, ladies and gentlemen!! well ok just gentlemen. Oh ffs, ok …. Gentlemen and Roy Keane, I present ….. Miss Fannie Licker!!!!!!
Wooooooooooo!! Hi guys, Hi Roy, it’s me Fannie Licker. You may not have recognised me straight away because all my fat is a thing of the past and I have this new slim look. I hope you like it. Some say I have went to far but I luuuuuuurrrrrrrrvvvv it!!
Fannie in her white dress
Anyway, lets move on to today’s guest and I must say he is a bit of a looker. He is in line to be my next stud muffin. I am sure you all know who I am talking about already :)))). Yes it’s Mr Cristiano Ronaldo, woooooooooo!!!!.
Oh welcome Cristiano, you are looki……. Wait a minute, you are not Cristiano Ronaldo!! You don’t even look Spanish!! Who are you? right wait there a minute, I will be back.
Ok let’s do this anyway. Right guys I present to you the next manager to be interviewed. It’s some dude named Michael Bowes. Yeah whatever.
Hahahaha, I am only joking Michael, I knew it was you all the time hahaha. Just my little joke.
Ok lets go and here we will look at Michael’s personal profile
Full Name:  Michael Bowes
Born:  1992 (Bedford)
Height:  6ft 2in
Marital Status:  Girlfriend
Nickname:  All my friends just call me Bowes
Favourite Sports teams:  Manchester United
Favourite food:  Mexican
Favourite drink:  Koppenberg
Favourite band/singer:  Drake
Favourite all time song:  Kano – Ps & Qs
Favourite Colour:  Electric Blue
Favourite animal:  Haven’t got one
Favourite film:  Any Fast and Furious
Your Car:  Currently dont drive
Best Friend:  Ellis
What phone do you have:  Samsung Galaxy S5
Best sport to watch:  Football of course
What scares you most:  Spiders & losing people close to me
Phone, iPad or laptop to play SM:  Phone
Embarrassing moment:  Haven’t got one of the top of my head
Ever won anything on the lottery:  Played it 3 times won £25 every time, would say thats good going
If you could have any job in the world what would it be:  Apart from a footballer i would say a lorry driver
Who would you most like to meet (dead or alive):  David Beckham
If you could attend any sporting event in the world what would it be:  A high profile football final or even the Olympics when it was in London would had been good
Thank you Michael. I see we have quite a lot in common. I currently don’t drive either and your favourite food is Mexican, while mines is American. That’s right next door to each other if you look at a map.
Next we have the main event. It’s the interview of course and here is how it went.
FL:  Michael, handsome Michael, you are entering your first full season in charge of Arsenal. Do you feel that there will be added pressure because of that and that the fans will be looking for the team to make advances after two 8th place finishes?

MB:  Oh Fannie, what a pleasure it is to see you after all of these years, How are you? We’ve had two solid seasons now and two very respectable finishes in a league which is very well built around excellent teams. The club, the fans and of course myself want the club to progress so of course there’s pressure to do better but it’s those pressures that want me to be a manager.
FL:  I am very well Michael, also very slim as you can see. After a credible 2-2 draw at Bayern, things have went downhill with two home defeats and another draw leaving Arsenal in the bottom 4. Its not the start you wanted or expected. Have you pinpointed what the early problems are? Are there players that have not produced the goods and how long are you prepared to keep patience with them?
MB:  After a promising opening day result against a title favourite it certainly raised expectations for the season among the fans, sadly we haven’t been able to build on that and I do think it’s come down to fire power. It’s no secret I’ve been after a striker for some time now. We’ve only managed to find the net 3 times this season which is dreadful. Defensively were quiet solid just lacking that finish to seal the game.
FL:  Of your signings made during the close season, have the players settled in to your approach to the game and who are you most pleased with?
MB:  We were quite quiet on the transfer front compared to what I usually am. None have really been given the chance to showcase there talent as of yet but I was pleased with the performances of Victor Wanyama in pre season and I’m sure he’ll turn out to be a valuable player here at Arsenal.
Victor Wanyama
FL:  The two home defeats are, without any offence to the opposition, games you would have expected to win but the team failed to even score. Are you worried that Arsenal could once again be looked upon as too negative and become known as boring Arsenal?
MB:  I certainly don’t think we’re a boring Arsenal. We play some good attacking football, keeping possession well and creating chances. The problem lies in our finishing, we just haven’t got someone who can hit us 20+ goals a season. Problem is everyone only wants either of the talented trio of Ross Barkley, Hector Bellerin or Luke Shaw and that’s just not something we as a club want to entertain at the current moment in time.
FL:  The target before the season started of finishing top 6 would have came as no surprise to anyone. From what you have seen of your team, have you reviewed that target to a lesser aim and maybe decided to concentrate on bringing some silver to the Emirates via one of the cup competitions? Failure to at least come close in any of the domestic competitions would surely raise questions about whether you are the man to take Arsenal forward. Do you feel there is pressure on you to deliver this season?
MB:  The first 4 games have certainly damaged our aim of getting to our target of 7th place but we’re only 3 points off getting into the top half which I certainly feel is very achievable this season. The cups are always at the back of my mind when it comes to management, the league is and always will be the most important competition for us.
FL:  There is a good core of youths at the club YET Arsenal are not involved in the Youth Cup. I find it surprising that one of the better youth academies do not have a team entered into a competition that they would have a good chance of reaching the latter stages. What are the reasons for this?
MB:  We do have a good bunch of lads here and probably would do quiet well in the competition, I feel for the best interests of the club with all the added fixtures, that it would be best to sit out in case it effected our league form. I’m not writing off ever competing in this excellent run cup though in the near future.
FL:  Arsenal are competing in the World Club Cup. Do you not think that with the domestic competitions and the Euro Shield that you are putting too much pressure on the players and that come the last few games of the season they will be exhausted and unable to perform to their full ability?
MB:  We have quiet a good squad together now where I feel we can compete while still changing the squad round, certainly in the midfield area where were been at our strongest under my leadership. Competition for places is intense and makes my decision every game extremely hard. In regards to the Euro Shield we’ve been very poor and a meeting is in place to speak to Ian Wright as to where we feel has been the problem to gain results against, no disrespect to opposing teams, but less talented squads. We are Arsenal though and we will come out fighting!
Arsenal squad
FL:  We always like to keep an eye on the young boys behind the scenes. Well that is certainly the case for Rolf here, if you know what I mean (wink). Is there any of the lesser known youngsters that you have big hopes for and that we should maybe keep an eye on?
MB:  Oh Rolf, that’s why he’s been hanging around the training ground recently with close friend
Mr Saville? We’ve got some talented lads in the youth setup. Lorenzo Pellegrini is a regular in the Sassuolo team, Gabriel Suazo recently got called up for Chile national team for the warm up games for the Copa America so there be the two less known lads to keep an eye out for over the next few seasons.
FL:  The final question is standard for all managers. If you could manage any club in the Top 100 who would it be?
MB:  I’m rather happy here at Arsenal and proud of what I’ve built. I’m a United fan but I always hate managing them on SM for some reason so would chose my old club Everton. It was a hard decision at the time to leave as I felt I was building something good but they’ve got a good man in charge now in David and I have been in close contact with him trying to bring as many lads with me as I can.
FL:  Thanks Michael. Some good answers there and I also think you might make a good politician in the future.
So, Michael seems to be satisfied at how things are coming along at the Emirates but getting away from that bottom four should be a priority before he gets caught up in a relegation battle that can be tricky to escape from. We wish him well though and I am sure that Arsenal will be climbing the table before very long.
Myself and the producers of the Fannie Licker interviews had a meeting a few days ago and we have came to an interesting decision as far as I am concerned. We have decided to do three more interviews, which would bring the series to ten, before moving on to pastures new. We are currently putting some ideas together and I can guarantee that while the interviews will come to an end, for a while anyway, you will not be getting rid of me that easily. We will come up with a new idea for a new Fannie Licker series and we will announce the name of the show and what it will be about during the tenth and last interview of the Fannie to Fannies show.
Well, I hope you all enjoyed our latest show and I would like to thank you for taking the time to read my little article. I wish you all the sex you can get and I hope you enjoy it. From me, Fannie Licker, I bid you good night and I will see you next time.

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