Italy Storm to World Cup Quarter-Final


Beddows urged calm amongst his players and the Italian press and people as his Italian side brushed aside Ireland 2-0 to reach the World Cup Quarter-Finals in South Korea this evening.


Once again it was an AC Milan performance of pure quality, so good that it had WC Pundits Hirst, PMW, Deadman and Razzaque purring like a Tom Cat with a plethora of interested Pussies.

It was a stunning start for the greatest side never to have won the Top 100 World Cup under the tutelage of the greatest manager to have never won the Top 100 World Cup as AC Milan Right Back on only his 3rd appearance for the national team gave Italy the lead – goal for De Sciglio… Kim Jong Un – (who is hosting the Italian team training camp in Pyongyang went wild, testing a nuclear weapon in the process… BOOM)

Capped only 3 days ago by the genius Beddows, De Sciglio scored his first goal tonight…

Feargal O’Hickey had no response and as Beddows’ Italy began to dominate the play and possession as Rolf Harris dominated the Art World it became only a matter of time before Beddows’ genius would bring about a 2nd goal.  Westwood did all he could, with Balotelli untypically lacklusture in front of goal. And then in the 2nd half a moment of pure intellect and creative power from Balotelli finding Florenzi to put the final nail in Ireland’s coffin… 2-0 Italy.

Florenzi made it 2-0 GET IN

Italy won the game 2-0 and are now in the World Cup Quarter-Finals where they will face England, when Beddows was asked about his match against his birth country he responded… “I am highly cautious… I have heard that Frank Hirst himself is flying over to watch the game which clearly worries me as I feel we may become victims of witchcraft and corruption but we will give our all come what may!”

The other games, The mighty Mister Malcom who’d expected to win the World Cup was beaten by another failure of a manager in Greg Billington who needed penalties to overcome the dinosaur Uruguayans.

Holland and Zaid Griffin and Belgium and Gareth Crisp will face one another in the WC QF as both sides luckily progressed. Roy Keane and Spain (or the half of Spain that like him) are also through to face the World Cup long-shots, Serbia, who under the leadership of Sameer Arshad destroyed Argentina. In the other QF Portugal will face France.

Odds: Spain 1/10, France 1/8, Portugal 1/5, Belgium 2/1, Holland 2/1, England 2/1, Italy 10/1, Serbia 5000/1

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