Under the Hammer


Welcome back for another instalment of Under the Hammer with me Timmy Mallet.

First thing I would like to apologize for the long wait instead of your Sunday slot we got pushed back to Thursday night after Gordon ‘Gino’ Kinnear (Tweety) wrote to Frank asking to put ‘Birds of a Feather’ on instead. I am now sort of worried or confused as his nickname is Tweety and after his latest review on the Churchill Cup he wrote on a pigeon the whole first half. So I am coming to the conclusion that he likes the ‘birds’ and not the FEmale kind, more the FEather kind and I think he is trying to groom Frank a double flight date.


Right back to West Ham related stories. First the FSFA (Frank Stephen Football Association) have given Nicky Thomson a warning and made it his last if it happens again then he will be given a touchline ban. So we go back a week and a half to West Ham against Chievo Verona, who had just signed there new manager Patrick D. So welcome to the frying pan. Well the started a well placed free kick by Naismith. The lead was short lived well two minutes after Gil squared the game up. West ham regained the lead on the half hour mark thanks to Valencia. Then a questionable decision was made by the ref in awarding Chievo a penalty which they capitalized on to square the game back up right before half time. Second half the Hammer never showed up and gave away a free kick and Chievo scored from it and held on to win the game for there new manager. After the game Mr Thomson was enraged by the lack of effort made in the second half. We can report that after the match that Andreas Bjelland had to go to hospital after he broke his nose. We have heard reports that Mr Thomson had kicked a water bottle and Bejelland  had tried to defend the cross coming in and it connected right on his nose causing it to break. When asked why he tried to head it he replied he thought it was Mr Thomson new training technique.

So next up for West Ham was Tottenham in the Churchill Cup. Mr Thomson was glad to get a game away from the league matters. But he was going to use these games as experimental tactics as he saw Tottenham, Chelsea and Arsenal to finish above us and to scrap it out with Villa for last place. So the game started how many hammer fans thought going behind in the first 8 mins. The surprise was when Payet equalized. Then came the onslaught and somehow were still in the game at half time. Then Icardi showed his scoring credentials, by scoring 2 in the second half and in turn winning it for Tottenham 3-1. Mr Thomson was happy with the performance and showed that they can hang with the big teams and cause problems for them.

Then it was the battle of the West in the East. Where West Ham meet West Bromwich Albion. The game started fast and frantic. The West Ham defence was in a panic and found themselves a goal behind. It took the Hammers right up until half time to get the equalizer thanks to a Valencia free kick taken quickly. Mr Thomson went down the tunnel after this and said to the reporter he was glad that we had scored because “I have no idea what i could do to change the match, because I have tried everything and nothing seems to work. So I am going to try something.” The game restarted and what ever was said in that dressing room worked as the Hammers raced there way to make chances for the goal that they never left an defenders and found our self behind again. So Mr Thomson changed his tic-tacs and 7mins later Obiang found the back of the nets and then Damia scored 10mins later and then held on for a 3-2 victory. Then after the game all that Nicky said was “We’re out the relegation zone”

West Ham next opponent was Espanyol. Who had the out going Nathan Prince going to Galatasaray. Which maybe had Nathan thinking what he would do with Galatasary than Espanyol as they went behind thanks to Winnie scoring a rare goal then Klose had a goal ruled offside. The rest of the game just fizzled out into to a schoolboy game. Mr Thomson said “I would take that score line and scrappy game with that result anytime. A win is a win. No matter how they come. ” After the game Mr Thomson caught a flight to Edmonton to take in a ice hockey match. Is he looking to manage over in Canada and in a different sport who knows, but we will keep any eye on this as he has started to turn the West Ham ship around and I can see them wanting to keep hold of there manager.

The following game saw them entertain Arsenal in the Churchill Cup which saw every man for West Ham on the goal line bringing a new form of arming the bus. Is this the new tactics that Nicky was experimenting on? When West Ham did have a break away attack they were able to find the back of the net. Thanks to Cech doing chin ups on the crossbar. So a very surprised victory for West Ham in the cup which gives them hope however small it is of qualifying.

That is all we have time for this week. We will be back to your usual Sunday slot if that ok with Tweety aaahh mean Gino. So thanks for reading this and we will have a new member joining us on Sunday so tune in to meet him

So thanks again Timmy Mallet

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