Dynamo, implacable Magicians snatching impossible defeat from inevitable Victory

Dynamo Moskva 

A name fit for a dodgy MLS ‘franchise’.
Blessed last season with players who were everything but dynamic, russian in to win relegation to an easier division.
Except, it’s been anything but easy this season. Dynamo are winless in competitive games since Feb 17 and occupy 11th spot.
Even worse, how brilliantly awful was that ‘russian’ pun manager Razzaque slipped in, in the very first sentence? That’s exactly the kind of guile his team have lacked.

11 players, 11th in the table

The number 11 is static. It’s a pair of legs when a player is standing still instead of looking to play a teammate in for a scoring opportunity.

Either with the ball or the ladies.

A Few Good Men. Too few?

Last season Razzaque followed Brendan Rodgers’ “120 page Tossier on Squad Building“.

“Great read, some real characters in there”, he said.

Now, having sold off some high earning, no-mark big time Charlies (Douglas and Joselu), he’s playing the long-game with instant promotion looking a stretch.

Both long balls and long shots.

What do you mean defence?

Victor is the new man in goals, even if he’s infrequently a victor after 90 minutes.

The defence has been bolstered by Langkamp and Sidnei but has yet to become solid like Granat.


Krsticic has a name that’s as hard to pronounce as it is difficult to see exactly what he brings to the team, other than a tongue cramp for commentators.

Goals, what are they?

The jewel in the crown, Knowledge Musona, has thus far dispensed little more than fortune cookie wisdom although Razzaque remains hopeful.

“KNOWLEDGE IS POWER,” he said, quoting directly from Rodgers’ Tossier while putting on his most thoughtful face.

Maybe, but Knowledge needs to get going through action….

Start Me Up!

Ionov, Cauteruccio, Ari and Damari are the only ones showing they have the bottle for battle.

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