Good afternoon guys and welcome to another of the fortnightly Thursday blog series where we have a mixture of real life in the Kinnear household and then life in the Top 100 as manager of Liverpool FC.
It’s been all go in the Kinnear household recently with the biggest news being that my wife, Alison and the elder daughter, Elise are both pregnant. No, I am only joking, they are not really pregnant.
They have, however, with the summer holiday to Bulgaria in their thoughts, decided to have a 247th attempt at going on a diet to lose weight for the said holiday. Their attempts usually start on a Monday but by time takeaway night arrives on a Friday they have given up. You just have to mention Chicken Curry from Capital Chinese takeaway and Elise collapses to the floor in tears before giving up her diet 60 seconds later. Alison, meanwhile, has given up by the Tuesday. This time they are both being serious about it and to my surprise they are actually giving it a good go. They joined Slimmer’s or Slimming World or whatever it’s called and have now joined a gym. They have their own recipes and the only argument is over who will cook it each night. A couple of the meals look quite good and I actually joined them in having sticky chicken last Sunday. It was yummy. I have even played my part in encouraging them and I have promised as long as they don’t put on any weight, I will pay half their gym membership, which will cost me about £50 per month. On Tuesday there, they had their second weigh in since the start of the diet and in total, Alison has already lost 1/2 a stone and Elise has lost 4 pounds. Elise actually lost 4 pounds the first week but stayed the same this week. It didn’t take long for her to admit that when she went out with her friend Nicole on Saturday night, she drank her own bodyweight in Vodka and rounded it off with a Kebab. Oh dear, she was just one pound in the wrong direction from paying a full months membership in the gym haha.
While we are on the subject of the gym, Alison had said to me that I should come now and then even if it was just to use the sauna and the pool etc. I promised I would even if it was just to keep her company. My days of the treadmill and stuff are behind me but the sound of the sauna and even the pool, although I swim like a slab of concrete, was quite appealing. Last Sunday was scheduled for one of they days. She had asked me on the Wednesday if I would come on the Sunday and I said yes, probably just to keep the peace. I had nothing arranged for the Sunday so why not. I was lying in bed Saturday night watching TV and an advert came on for the Sunday footy. Arsenal v Leicester, Aston Villa v Liverpool, Manchester City v Tottenham Hotspur it exclaimed. One after the other. I definitely caught my attention. Three good games I thought. At that moment the wife came to bed and of course mentioned the gym for the next day. BASTARRRRRRDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!! was the thought that entered my head. Of course dear, I am looking forward to it (I snarled). Are we going in the morning?, I said hopefully. ‘No, Elise is out tonight (drinking her own bodyweight in vodka apparently) and will not get up until lunchtime. Aaaah perfect, nobody said ever. Fast forward to Sunday morning and how nice it was to get a long lie so the wife thought. To be fair, since I was coming to the gym with her, she got up and made my breakfast. I needed some sort of perk so that would do it. Elise gets out her bed for some breakfast and my other daughter, Janene, on a day off from competition, informs me that she is also going to the gym. Ok I said as the advert for the three games appeared on the TV again, mocking me. What the fuck are you smiling at Kamara, as Goals on Sunday came on. Janene also proudly announces her friend, Joanne, will be going as well. Great, there is now a gang. I ate my breakfast, average standard, had better, had worse before Alison appears to get ready for the gym, but with a rather sheepish look on her face. What’s up? I said. She looked at me and said that Joanne’s mum, Lesley would like to go to the gym. I thought, oh why not, every other person we know is going. I said ok what’s wrong with that? Alison said, well we can only take three in as guests so would you mind not going? FUCKING JACKPOT!!!!!! Are you kidding me??? Have I fell asleep again and I am dreaming? Putting on my disappointed face, I said no of course not. You know I am always first to give up my space on anything so someone else can go. Always thinking of others, I am. Ya beauty. Not laughing so much now Kamara, are you. So, 20 minutes later, they were off to the gym and Arsenal v Leicester was on the box as I lay in bed with Bet365 open on my laptop. Heaven on a Sunday. I will go at some point but I wont be so hasty in saying yes until I see what games are on the telly.
Janene and her boyfriend Ross/Russ/Shrek are still going and it appears going quite well. It was, of course, Valentine’s Day on Sunday and to his credit, a dozen red roses arrived at the door that morning. No way is he getting round me that way I thought before realising they were for Janene. He also took her out for dinner that night and had got her a new pair of trainers and a nice perfume. Fucking hell, she got more for Valentine’s Day than I did for Christmas. I am beginning to come round to the fact that she is 18yo and not my baby girl anymore and that I should maybe make an effort to get to know the boyfriend. Elise always interrogates me on why I don’t accept him when I had accepted her boyfriend with no problem. In fact I had got on really well with her boyfriend, Alistair, and he even came on holiday with us. I just say to her that I thought she was more mature and ready for boyfriends and sex etc while Janene was not. I still don’t think Janene is ready for sex and it’s hard to get my head round that even though she tells me he hasn’t even tried to have a little grope of her boob (what is wrong with him, is he gay?) she could be just too worried to tell me otherwise. I have promised to make an effort now but only after I have a talk with him first. I want to know his background and want to ask him just how much he likes Janene. It’s something I have to do as I don’t trust teenage boys. I was one myself and I know the thoughts that are in the head. Also, I get so many teenage boys on the bus and every one of them is an arsehole, no offence to any managers that are still teenagers.
This Saturday, we are moving one of the horses to a new yard. Elise’s horse, Riz, is stabled about 15 miles away and it is costing her a fortune in fuel so we found a stables that is much closer and also cheaper livery so it makes sense. I will actually be working but Alison and Elise will move him. We have a horse lorry so it shouldn’t take too long. Janene’s horse is stabled at Ingliston Country Club but since that is where she work’s as the professional’s groom, the livery is cheap and she also gets to ride her every day.
So, that’s the main events over the last couple of weeks although Alison was taken to hospital yesterday after suffering an asthma attack but she is ok and is just taking the couple of days in hospital for a rest and will get out tomorrow (Friday).
It’s been mixed fortunes at Anfield lately with last Thursday’s 3-1 win over Manchester City being cancelled out by the 4-2 defeat at Bayern Munich. Both results were expected really but we strive to improve things by working harder on the training pitch and taking that hard work into match day. Five goals scored in two games is a good return in anyone’s books but the five goals conceded shows that we still have a lot of work to do defensively, although to be fair, Bayern are a very good team and the fact that we were still very much in the game for 78min augers well for the future. The good news is that Daniel Sturridge is on top form and he scored four of the five goals, albeit two being penalties. He is showing plenty of enthusiasm and really wants to lead by example in the striker’s role. He knows that players such as Destro and Gabbiadini are keeping the pressure on him to play well and this can only be good for the club.
During the week we travelled to Leicester in the Top 100 Shield and I was delighted with the performance that gave us a 2-0 win. Destro grabbed a goal and Benteke scored the other. Benteke has been slightly out of favour recently and I make no secret of the fact that we have tried to move him on. He knows this and has been to see me to ask if he can still have a future at Anfield. I really wanted to say ‘yes, if you buckle down and show the form you are capable of’ but I couldn’t because I know that if a good offer came in for him then he would be on his way. This is proven by the fact that we are currently in negotiations with a club that could see Benteke leave along with Lovern with a top class international midfielder coming to Anfield. He shall remain nameless at the moment but he has a vast amount of experience and I feel would link up well with Oscar and Lucas in the centre of midfield.
While we are still involved in the Top 100 Cup and the Top 100 Shield, the draws have not been kind to us and I will tell you why. Now, I am not a superstitious manager. I don’t have to cut the head of a chicken before the game or strangle a cock, although Fannie Licker has offered to strangle my cock for me, an offer that I had to turn down due to the fact I already have a similar arrangement with Yolanda Squatpump. Back to the story. As I said, I am not superstitious, but I do seem to have a problem when I play against teams that start with an A. I have played two sides in the league that fit that description, Atletico Madrid and AC Milan. Both ended in defeat and now in the domestic trophies we have drawn AS Roma away in the Cup and Arsenal away in the Shield. The A curse has to be broken because I said to the team when I first arrived that I wanted to win a trophy this season and while I am realistic enough that we won’t win the league, I believe that the Cup or the Shield can be won. Watch this space.
Strange incident the other day when Sebastian Rode came into the office to tell us his car had bricks instead of wheels. Welcome to Liverpool Sebastian haha. We said we would investigate and decided to bring the police into it. The strange thing was that the police said this had been happening all over the city and it is believed to be linked to a criminal organisation that ships alloy wheels to Sao Paulo in Brazil.
Apparently, years ago, it was hub caps that always seemed to go missing but they had now moved on to alloys. Then one of the detectives mentioned a name that made me freeze. They said they were looking into the strange appointment of a manager called Josh McMillan, who despite having absolutely no links to Brazil, had landed the Sao Paulo job. It made me freeze as I knew Josh from the rebel ARG (Anti Relegation Group) organisation. They used to be a very hostile group and would do anything, even kill so they said, to avoid relegation. They broke up when one member betrayed them and got relegated before giving all their names to the authorities. What was going on now I wondered? As of this moment the investigation is being continued but if things get worse and even more alloy wheels go missing, I think a call to Freddy, Maggie, Thelma, Shaggy and of course Scooby could be in order. Meanwhile, I am waiting on Player 85295 arriving at Anfield for a trial with a view to signing him up as a rent boy for a secret group within the Top 100. It’s all legal of course but members such as Roy Keane shall remain nameless.
Well that’s it for today. I have had to juggle things with hospital visiting and tidying around the house but I have got here in the end.
Next week will be the next Fannie Licker interview although it is uncertain when that will be published. The aim is Thursday but I believe she is getting some sort of implants put in this week again. I am getting to the stage where finding out what implants she is getting is as exciting as finding out who is to be interviewed haha.
Anyway, that’s it from me this week and I would like to thank you all for taking the time to read this article and for helping make the Top 100 blog the success it is.