Recently Top 100 correspondent Fanny Licker travelled to Moscow to catch up with Lokomotiv Moskva manager Greg Owen to see how Season 2 has been going after the team gained promotion from Division 3 to Division 2.

Fanny: “How has Season 2 been going for you Greg?”

Greg: “Well, let me start by saying that we were very pleased to get promoted last season. Our fans were celebrating all over Mother Russia”.

Lokomotiv Moskva fans celebrating promotion at the end of Season 1

“Even the No.1 Loko fan – our esteemed President – got in on the act”.

Lokomotiv Moskva fan Vladimir Putin joins in the celebrations

“But this season has not been good for us. Most of all we are trying to avoid the bounce”.

Fanny: “The bounce?”

Greg: “Yes, the bounce … as demonstrated here by our club physio Anya Neeze”.

Lokomotiv Moskva club physio Anya Neeze demonstrating “The Bounce”
Fanny: “Oh, I see. I have the same problem myself. A lack of support is the main problem. But how do you intend to avoid the bounce?”

Greg: “It’s quite simple, We need to score more goals than the opposition. We are practicing new techniques in our training to help us do this”.

Fanny: “What sort of techniques?”

Greg: “Well there is one that we have learned from Milan that we are practicing. The esteemed Milan manager Stephen Beddows has been to our training ground to teach us how they play the game in Italy. He is teaching our players how to fall over. Then when our physio Anya runs onto the field the opposition will be distracted enough for us to score.”

Milan technique for falling over

Fanny: “And you think that will be enough?”

Greg: “Well last season teams like Athletic Club, Benfica and Galatasaray needed 46 points to avoid relegation in Division 2. So far this season we have seven points after nine games. So we need almost 40 points from our next 29 games to stay in this division”.

Fanny: “And if you don’t?”

Greg: “Let’s just say that I personally cannot afford that. If we drop back down to Division 3 then the consequences could be very severe. There are stories of how the No.1 Loko fan fired the last manager who let the team be relegated.

No.1 fan Vladimir Putin fires the last Lokomotiv Moskva manager

Fanny: “So when are you going to start scoring more goals than the opposition?”

Greg: “We have been trying to do that all season so far. But we do have a grudge match coming up against Zenit this weekend which we will be aiming to make the start of a glorious run”.

Fanny: “So you’re confident of beating Zenit?”

Greg: “Confident … well, if you are asking me … I cannot say … confident is not necessarily what I would say …”

At that point the Lokomotiv Moskva club PR minder stepped in to pull manager Greg Owen away saying that he had an urgent meeting with Mr Putin. It remains to be seen whether he can turn around Lokomotiv Moskva’s current poor form. Stay tuned for further updates.

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