Majestic Milan – Milan 4 Liverpool 1


It had been previewed as the family reunion, the Soprano’s, the day Gordon came home to see his family… but the reality was very different as Gino Kinnearo reports…

The greatest Italian journalist in the history of all history, Gino Kinnearo, who is ironically the cousin of Liverpool new manager Gordon Kinnear was full of superlatives in his post-match report of the Milan – Liverpool match and he stopped short of any family loyalties, criticising Kinnear and Liverpool for not only their lacklustre approach to the game of football, but also his cousin’s unprofessional approach to football management and in particular his lack of sincerity in defeat against the Better Beddows…

Earlier this weekend, Beddows had officially confirmed that Mario Balotelli would become both the club captain but also an ambassador of the club (with the title Supreme Superstar), who will during his free time, travel the globe on Milan Peace Missions, seeking to bring world peace with trips to Damascus, Baghdad, Pyongyang and Mexico City all planned in the coming weeks. This decision was praised by Kinnearo… “I am very happy for Mario, he has worked very hard to deserve this accolade… Diego Lopez was never good enough and I am over the moon that he has lost this honour.”

Kinnearo explained that he had expected with his cousin in the city to have been invited out by his Gordon for a Brazilian, for which the City is famous, yet no invitation emerged. Kinnearo continued, “Gordon whenever he comes to see me and my Mamma, he always brings wine… today nothing… not even a phone call… he has no etiquette this man… no I will not even give him the credit of calling him a man!”

Gino then went on to describe his evening at the San Siro as Milan (struggling in the league due to a combination of incredible schedule where they had played 8 games in 9 days AND due to poor referring decisions that had been clearly influenced by such SM corrupt managers like Hirst and Keane)…

He was at first delighted to announce the Milan side:

He got particularly excited, as excited as lion in a zoo when a goat is put in its pen, to see Balotelli named as captain, and his second favourite player, Bonaventura playing in centre-midfield alongside De Jong, with Witsel behind them… Kinnearo praised Beddows’ daring in chaging his approach… “This is a great selection, I am very excited to see this team…”

Milan naturally started strongly, showing  their superior quality as Beddows looked on from his technical area, with his notepad and pencil at the ready… Gordon meanwhile, Gino’s cousin lets not forgot, was animated, on the touchline and constantly barking instructions in his broad Scottish accent and it was clear to many, including Gino that players such as Sturridge and Lallana had no idea what the Scot was going on about.

Then the moment of the evening. PENALTY to AC Milan. A clear foul by Martin Skrtel who took a swipe at Balotelli whose superior pace and ability Skrtel could not handle and penalty. BALOTELLI STRUCK IT 1-0 TO MILAN… the San Siro erupted….

After the break it was attack after attack, with the San Siro resembling more the Battle of Little Bighorn than a football match as Milan kept coming and coming (Milan being the Indians of course) and little General Gordon (Custer) could not muster a response from the touchline and then ironically a player who only two weeks ago had been very close to a move back to Liverpool… Mr Torres… makes it 2-0. Milan’s newest acquisition Danny Rose providing the assist.

What followed was a third goal of such sublime superior ability that it had the San Siro crowd on their feet in utter shock and adminration and a certain Gordon Kinnear sinking to his knees on the sidelines in shock. It was a pass from substitute Bacca to De Sciglio who proceeded to nutmeg Markovic, go past Bender (who incidentally slipped over in the process) nutmeg Skrtel and to blast the ball from 45 yards beyond the keeper to make it Milan 3-0

 

Liverpool then scored a goal which was clearly offside.

To cap off the evening it was Danny Rose again from the left to cross to his captain and hero Mario Balotelli who smashed home the 4th to make it Milan 4 Liverpool 1.

See below the celebrations of Gino Kinnearo in the studio during the match.

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