TuttoSport’s Hirscht meets DP

‘Old Lady’ Gaffer Talks Business

DP today met with TuttoSport journalist Stephanie Hirscht to discuss Juves credentials for Season 2 in Top 100 & his plans to remain active in the transfer market as the Englishman continues to make his mark on the Italian outfit.

Hirscht: Good afternoon DP, may I call you Dan.

DP: It’s DP to my associates but Dan to my close friends Stephanie, would you like to become a… close friend?

Hirscht: I see life in Italy has had an affect upon you.

DP: I have no idea what you’re talking about Steph…
Hirscht: So Dan… you steered Juventus to a 5th place finish last season in Top 100 in the process maintaining Juves status as the best team in Italy by some margin & have secured SMFA Champions Cup football due to Bayern’s automatic place in the competition as the most recent winners, a good campaign in the new World football format?

DP: Feel free to blow my trumpet any when you like Steph…

Hirscht: But all the same, a good campaign?

DP: Remaining Italy’s best club was never really in doubt when you consider the appointments made in the past year at those clubs. The self-diagnosed dinosaur Malcolm continued with his extinct footballing philosophy, Josip Ilicic was delighted to come to a modern club. The estranged love affair between Beddows & Balotelli makes for good comedy but I don’t envy Milan’s other players or fans whom are left out in the cold. No need to discuss the failures of Internazionale & AS Roma last season either, the likes of Genoa & Sassuolo should probably be considered bigger sides than them now.

Hirscht: Your side have been relatively active in the post season in regards to transfers with 4 new arrivals and 5 departures.

DP: We’ve strengthened where we could so far & are in better shape than a season ago. The arrivals of Hoedt & Kishna from Lazio are players with great futures ahead of them as well as Hysaj from Napoli whom offers great versatility at the back. William Carvalho has been added to our already strong number of central midfielders giving the squad good depth once again.

Hirscht: You have seen Caio, Caceres, Neto, Andres Tello & Delph depart the club in the process…

DP: Yes necessary departures to ensure the club are in control of both the wage bill at the club & the rules within the Top 100 format. We’re very happy with our business.

Hirscht: Do you plan to continue to strengthen Juventus?

DP: I’m hardly going to make a fool out of myself like that Roy Keane am I.

Hirscht: You mean the ‘self-imposed transfer ban’

DP: What an earth was that plonker going on about? A ban on transfers, a deadline for signing a couple of Real Madrid’s ‘stars’ & then today he’s bidding left, right & centre on transfer targets. I must keep him in mind if I ever need a man with 2 GCE’s to clean some boots.

Hirscht: With the players brought in so far at Juve this season, are you looking to offload anyone at the club?

DP: We’re content with the squad by all means but there’s always room for improvement. Luca Marrone has informed me he is looking to move to pastures new & has been made available to leave Turin. We’ve made plenty of enquiries & bids on players over the past few days & hopefully once some of the old codgers awake from their slumber we’ll receive some negotiations or conclude a deal or two.
Mario Mandzukic also remains available should the club receive the offer they’re looking for.

Hirscht: Rumour has it that you had agreed a deal earlier this afternoon?

DP: We had a deal accepted by Basle but quickly received a fax through to inform us that the deal was no longer agreed. 

Hirscht: Does that not mean that Rab Kennedy at FC Basle has breached a rule in regards to transfer agreement laws within Top 100?

DP: The rules come into place more officially as of this evening after our fixture Steph, we don’t intend on sending this information to the top dogs at Top 100 at this time.

Hirscht: Are you confident for the coming season & tonight’s fixture Dan?

DP: That reminds me Steph, I had better go & grab the whistle from the dry cleaners. We’ll have to do this again soon doll.

Hirscht: …..

Interview concluded

Stephanie Hirscht – TuttoSport & Sky Italia 

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