BREAKING NEWS straight from the hotel room!

Aston Villa players relaxing in the hotel, ready to go to the training ground.

Micah Richards- Tomas, switch on the TV mate, we all want to watch the Top 100 preview for the opening game today.
Tomas Kalas- Sure captain, I’m onto it.
Gabriel Agbonlahor- I heard the Chievo Verona boss was selling some mug.
Carlos Sanchez- What mug? I’d like one. Preferably with our gaffer’s face.
Agbonlahor- Oh shut up. Some Argentinian called Scocco. 
Richards- Feeling insecure Gabby?

Silencing Scocco and the media
Agbonlahor- Not all skipper. I’m sure no Scocco can be better than me.
Jordan Ayew (coughing)- Whats that on the TV? Scocco is on the way to….(squinting) Aston Villa. 
Agbonlahor- ha! hahaha! A yew joking?
Richards- yeah, and it says he will be joining us soon. 
(phone rings, Agbonlahor picks up)
What? You’re selling me for the mug?
Hello boss, I’d like to say that no Scocco can be better than me, I love this club, I love Micah, I love the groundsman, I love everything. What do you have to say?
Rahul W- Pack your bags. 
Agbonlahor- Why? Going for a holiday together eh? Just the both of us? I like it.
Rahul W- Yup. A permanent, one-way holiday for you. All the way to Bolton. Have fun.
Agbonlahor- Oh yay…um..what? Hello?
(line cuts)
(Hotel staff calls)
The good ol’ days
This is to inform you Mr. Gabriel that you are now evicted out of the hotel. Goodbye. 
(everyone in the room laughing)
Richards- HAHAHAH, so long Gabriel ‘better than Scocco’ hahahaha. Looking forward to play with the Scocco.
(Ten minutes later, Agbonlahor finds himself next to the Lord. The one and only. Emile. Heskey. Nothing more to say. Scocco is touching down at Villa soon, while Agbonlahor has been whisked to Bolton. The rest of the squad remain pumped up for today’s game. Let’s hope they win, otherwise we might have to call Heskey. Lol.)
When you hear you are going to meet Rahul W
As said yesterday, a new signing may have been arriving. Well, didn’t expect it to be Ignacio Scocco but it is. For 5.7 mil, it is a great deal and we are very happy with the deal. Won’t arrive in time for today’s game, but maybe for the game on Thursday. He’ll have to prove himself in training though. Ayew is no mug. Still, exciting signing. Thanks to the Chievo Verona boss.
Good luck to everyone for the first game of the new season. 
PS- My humour is bad, I know, but it’s 10pm here and I can’t think of anything better at this time of the day. Haha.

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