After the game, managers traditionally have a glass of wine and shoot the shit, but not last night. Instead, Parfitt launched into another of his verbal tirades.
When talking about the defeat, Parfitt said “Doug Earle, Earl of where? Earl of Espanyol? Earl of Berkshire? Earl of twatshire? It’s a title that is undeserved, and handed over by the Elders of Top 100 in an attempt to win his services and make sure that his steroid filled animals could beat the only side in the league who play by the rules.
How are we supposed to compete against doping, bungs, and now titles being handed out. Now PMW, I know we had our issues, but at least he is a proper royal. He was born a Prince, and he’ll die a Prince. Well unless he outlives me to become a King, but I know people who can ensure he doesn’t out live me.
Young Doug however, going around and insisting people refer to him as an Earl simply because Frank has decreed he should be is a disgrace. Ive seen more worthy Earls in my local after 8 pints of McEwans. Earl my arse.
You know what, I could have been a Viscount, but I didn’t want it. Basically I went around to Beddows house for tea, as he wanted to have a discussion that might “help us move up the league”
Well things started out crackin’. He had the best bottle of Italian red i’ve ever tasted, and it was going down a treat. Then his maid started bringing out tea. I say maid, but I’m fairly confident it was Gursimran Brar from Bayern in a dress. She, he, whatever, started bringing out the roast potatoes, so I took one and ate it. I was offered a second, but declined it. Beddows said not to be polite, so I simply told him that it tasted like horse turd and that I had seen local vagrants getting more appetising looking food from the bins in parks.
After that, I was ushered out unceremoniously by some mob looking goons that patrol Beddows Acres. I never went back, I never became a Viscount, and we ended up at the bottom of div 5. Well not quite bottom because Augsburg also play by the rules, but we’re better than them so they don’t matter.
After his attack, another journalist pointed out that Earle was in fact Doug’s name, and not a distinguished title.
What do you mean it’s his name? He’s not an Earl at all? What Frank was thinking of by giving a wetwipe like him an Earlhood in the first place I’ll never know. WTF……
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