Daily Hamburger: Porro, Por Favor!

Today’s news from the home of Nigel Farage…

  • Transfer scoop
  • Young ‘too old’
  • Youth Cup

Done Deal!

Hamburg boss Marsden was delighted to sign young Girona winger Pedro Porro, despite facing stiff competition from Juventus for his signature.

‘Porro was about to sign a contract with us, literally had the pen in his hand, when in walks Old Lady boss DP!

‘I couldn’t believe it.

‘We all know how DP can’t keep his hands off young European boys for his “academy”.

‘Anyway, he put his “offer” on the table, and poor Porro didn’t know what to do.

‘He very politely said he would “think” about it.

‘Anyway, he’s ours, now!’


Gone Deal!

After yesterday claiming a deal was on the cards for Palace flanker Ashley Young, HSV fans were disappointed to see the aging lothario sign for Southampton instead.
‘At the end of the day, we just felt we couldn’t match what Saints offered,’ opined Marsden.
‘He’s a special player, but he’s not getting any younger, is he? 
‘We felt Palace wanted a touch too much, much too young. 
‘But fair play to Mark Deadman. He got what he wanted.’

Youth Cup

‘We’re delighted to be back in the Youth Cup where we rightly belong,’ said Marsden. 
‘We felt hard done by getting banned from last season’s competition, all for signing young Christian, for Fruchtl’s sake!
‘I think Frank and DP were worried they were going to have to win some games.
‘This season we’ve brought in a few players on loan.
‘We’re particularly happy to have one of the best young keepers around in Andriy Lunin joining us from Atletico Madrid.
‘We’ve also brought in Enes Unal, who scored four goals for Bayern last time, and Vinicius Junior from Partizan.
‘Thanks to Doug, ruts and Mark!’

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