2016
Youth Cup Mini Preview
With A. Madrid and Youth Cup King The Doctor on holiday in Tenerife it is the week which allows for the Youth Limelight to be taken by the others.
 |
| The Doctor has used the Tardis to go to Spain |
DP 91 v André Guerra this is a huge match - Juventus v Porto - with Villareal, the 5th Division side clearly running away with Group A it is almost certainly left to a straight fight for 2nd between this two high flying Division One managers. Wayne Bullough one of the GW's newer managers is enjoying his cup adventurs so far, flying high in the Churchill Cup and faces Villareal tonight.
GROUP B
Attila Olah (Udinese) and Sean Cass (Atalanta) will both be determined to get 3 points in their games respectively. Keyboard (Broon) Gangster whose Fenebarche are as good as out will not only be playing for pride but will also hope to have their day in the race to finish behind A.Madrid.
GROUP C
Greg Owen youth cup king and his Lokomotiv side will be hoping for 3 more points in their quest for an unlikely top place finish in Group C against the forgetful golden bear.
Both Schalke and Zenit are locked on 7 points a piece in a match up which could go a long way to deciding their future in the competition.
GROUP D
With Gordon as good as out he is set to play an experimental formation with strikers at right back et al as his side face no one but he wants to give them a run out anyway. ⚡⚡David The Fox Piero⚡⚡ and his Tottenham side need 3 points away to 2nd place Sassuolo and Bob «Groucho» Sal, whilst Walter Smith and his CSKA side will look to book their place in round two.
GROUP E
Beddows faces the perfect Newcastle United and Oran Robson but with new signing Origi set to start it could be the fire power that Milan need, but the lose of Cataldi to Juventus could have a determinant effect on Milan.
Struggling Stoke face Paris SG with both teams realistically out of the competition.
GROUP F
Roy Keane (Gold 1⭐️) has demanded at least 10 goals from his Youth side as they entertain Flamengo determined to cement their place in 2nd place and hope that Rahul W and his misfiring Villians can perform a Paul Daniels magic trick and win in Germany against Noisy's Leverkusen...
GROUP G
The top two spots are almost certainly going to Joe Jordan (Man Utd) and Lee Reynolds (Dortmund) and with the two clashing tonight at Old Trafford it is a huge game.
Crystal Palace and River Plate are both playing for pride in the other showdown
GROUP H
The group that continues to fascinate everyone...
ACF Fiorentina face Napoli and Chelsea face Benfica...
| GROUP H | |||||||
| P | W | D | L | F | A | Pts | |
| Benfica | 6 | 3 | 1 | 2 | 7 | 6 | 10 |
| Fiorentina | 6 | 2 | 4 | 0 | 7 | 2 | 10 |
| Chelsea | 5 | 3 | 1 | 1 | 15 | 5 | 10 |
| Napoli | 5 | 2 | 1 | 2 | 7 | 5 | 7 |
Cehenneme hoşgeldin Broon
Broon was welcomed with a great fanfare at Istanbul airport by the Fenerbache fans earlier this week as they welcome their 3rd manager in SM Top 100 and hope that this one will be as great as Noisy and Norman, with Norman Little seeing the job as too big he has stepped aside to move to West Brom which will involve a less crippling daily commute as he waits patiently for Mike Ashley to sack current Newcastle boss, Oran Robson.
 |
| Broon seen arriving at Istanbul Station |
So what do we know about Broon, Mr Broon, or Keyboard Gangster as he has legally changed his name to thanks to a legal loophole introduced by the Scottish government –
FACTS:
He is well-known for his anti-English stance, he explained that on several occasions Diego Maradona is his hero.
He is an avid walker and loves the Scottish highlands where he is regularly seen stag hunting
He was manager of Dortmund but was so poor a motivator that he quit before he could be sacked with the side eventually suffering the humiliating experience of relegation
As a direct descendant of Robert the Bruce on his paternal side and William Wallace on his maternal side it is said that he has more claim to the Scottish throne than one of his personal heroes Nicola Sturgeon.
Nicola Sturgeon in fact back in November upon the birth of Broon’s child granted him and all other new Scottish dad’s extended paternity leave for a period of 4 months (compared to a measly two weeks in England) Hence why he has only now returned to Top 100.
He is addicted to Irn-Bru – Drinking a 24 pact each week
It remains to be seen if Broon is capable of managing a football management career alongside parenthood but the people of Istanbul will be hopeful he can become the first male in history to be able to multi-task!
Connie Lingers Licks up Some Figures on Attendances
In its attempts to keep its managers superbly informed by bringing them incisive and deeply researched statistical analysis, not to mention the opportunity to post the odd horny photo, T100 has recruited yet another hot, I mean brilliant mathematician, Miss Connie Lingers, to cast her beautiful mind, not to mention body, over pertinent numbers.
Connie has a Masters in batory as well as Maths which she earned at the Godown Onme Institute in Stockholm. In her first in depth probe for T100 she has been looking into attendances for us, over to you Connie.
(Connie explaining Einsteins special theory of relativity to Frank in his office)
Thank you David and thank you to T100 for giving me my head on this, I promise I’ll repay the compliment, again. Yes I have been pumping the numbers to suck the facts out of attendances this season in T100’s top flight to see if clubs are getting the numbers of bums on seats their position in the league should warrant.
At just over the half way mark for the season we would expect to see a direct correlation between league position for a club and their average attendance with no great jumps in league position in any given week likely to skew the findings significantly.
Having worked hard on the problem I slid the relevant data into my computer, Deep Throat, and this is what it spat out at me.
Club | Stadium | Capacity | Average | % | League | Variance |
Manchester United | Old Trafford | 75,765 | 74,858 | 98.8 | 6 | 5 |
Bayern München | Allianz Arena | 75,000 | 73,339 | 97.8 | 2 | 0 |
Real Madrid | Santiago Bernabéu | 85,454 | 83,287 | 97.5 | 3 | 0 |
Arsenal | Emirates Stadium | 66,066 | 64,258 | 97.3 | 7 | 3 |
Barcelona | Camp Nou | 99,359 | 93,321 | 93.9 | 1 | -4 |
FC Porto | Estádio do Dragão | 58,938 | 51,670 | 87.7 | 5 | -1 |
Juventus | Juventus Stadium | 64,741 | 56,757 | 87.7 | 4 | -3 |
Chelsea | Stamford Bridge | 63,848 | 53,651 | 84.0 | 8 | 0 |
Atlético Madrid | Vicente Calderón | 65,272 | 54,081 | 82.9 | 9 | 0 |
Fenerbahçe SK | Şükrü Saracoğlu | 62,516 | 49,147 | 78.6 | 10 | 0 |
ACF Fiorentina | Artemio Franchi | 57,699 | 43,566 | 75.5 | 11 | 0 |
Liverpool | Anfield | 65,349 | 47,976 | 73.4 | 12 | 0 |
Manchester City | Etihad Stadium | 65,516 | 47,965 | 73.2 | 16 | 3 |
Bayer Leverkusen | BayArena | 60,050 | 43,232 | 72.0 | 13 | -1 |
Lyon | Parc OL | 64,411 | 44,440 | 69.0 | 15 | 0 |
AC Milan | San Siro | 80,018 | 52,427 | 65.5 | 14 | -2 |
Valencia CF | Mestalla | 64,945 | 40,997 | 63.1 | 17 | 0 |
Internazionale | Giuseppe Meazza | 80,018 | 50,354 | 62.9 | 18 | 0 |
Sevilla | Ramón Sánchez Pizjuán | 64,863 | 40,208 | 62.0 | 20 | 1 |
SS Lazio | Stadio Olimpico | 73,261 | 44,156 | 60.3 | 19 | -1 |
The table above shows clubs ordered by the size of their average attendance, that average expressed as a percentage of their capacity, their actual league position and finally the variance of that to their position in this table.
Twenty games into the season we would not expect to see much variance between a clubs position in the league and their position in the attendance table, I love positions don’t you, one day I’ll tell you all about my favourite and it’s effect upon the angle of the dangle, which is directly proportional to the lust of the thrust, but back to the member, I mean matter in hand.
All things being fair (coughs) in the SM Universe only minor deviations would be anticipated to account for a clubs sudden rise or fall in their league position as with A C Milan for whom the gravitational slide towards the black hole of the bottom four sees their attendance standing being above their league position by 2 places.
Things however are far more intriguing at the top end of the table where one would expect to see long time front runners Barca at the top of the attendance table. Not so, they languish an astonishing 5th in the table a deviation of 4 from their league position and are the main victims of what appears to be a faulty code in the SM game engine algorithms, closely followed by Juve who show a 3 place deviation despite their consistent league standing.
The main beneficiaries of this anomaly appear, strangely enough, to be English clubs, with the exception of Liverpool they all rank much higher in the attendance table than their league position warrants with Man Utd having a whopping 5 place variation followed by both Arsenal and Man City with 3, coincidence? SM bias? I’ll let you decide.
That’s all from me for now and thank you for reading, I’m off back to Franks office to explain that the fibonacci spiral is not a ring road in Istanbul.
THE THURSDAY BLOG Vol 2 No 6
Good day gentlemen and welcome to another Thursday blog where I cover both real life and fantasy courtesy of the Top 100 gameworld ran by Frank Hirst.
I have to start with the big news of the last fortnight and that is the parting of ways between my daughter Janene and her now ex-boyfriend Ross/Russ/Shrek. This came as a surprise to me as I thought they were getting on so well together but it turns out that she wasn’t keen enough to continue the relationship. I was, of course, last to know and even then I heard it from her sister and not her. When I asked her what was wrong she just said it was by mutual agreement and she says that she thinks he liked her more than she liked him That’s my girl. Get rid of the dead beats. A bit unfair to say that I suppose since I never made an effort to get to know him. It was a bit strange though since he had stayed here on the Monday night and then they split on the Tuesday but I assume that she decided that night. Unfortunately Janene would rather tell you things they way she thinks it should be rather than the way it was. I say this because when asked how she split up with him, she said that she phoned him on the Tuesday and after talking it over they decided to end it. That sounds fine and fair. Later on we find out from her friend Joanne that she actually dumped him by text. Cringe! In my opinion that is the worst possible way to be dumped and I let her know about it.
Ross after receiving the text
This is becoming a bit of a habit with Janene and she is tending to not tell the whole truth with things. I don’t want to say she is lying a lot but I suppose when it comes to the bottom line then yes she has been lying. I feel there will be more to this ’lying’ and I am determined to get to the bottom of it. To be continued…
Janene is also the headline maker in another happening this week. On Monday she passed her driving test at the first time of asking. This makes her the final member of the family to pass her test but with it also comes the problem of space outside the front door. We live on a relatively busy road mainly because we have a couple of shops across the road and about 100 yards along the road there is a primary school. If you include all the houses then it becomes a road that is too busy for its original purpose. A lot of houses means a lot of cars parked along the road also. To try and combat this we turned our front garden into two driveways, one for my car and one for the wife’s. Now with Janene on the road as well as the other two kids we are going to need space for five cars. We can get away with it at the moment with four cars as we can have two in the driveway and two parked in front of the driveway but when Janene gets her car in about 8 weeks time, we are going to have overspill. Hopefully our neighbours wont mind if we can squeeze into their airspace when we need to. It won’t need much room as we are getting her a Fiat 500.
Janene’s chosen car
They are quite small but it is what she wants so that is what she gets. We don’t mind getting her the car but she will be responsible for her own insurance and then fuel etc. I don’t know if there is any road tax for that car but if there is then it is her expense.
I am not in the best of moods at the moment and it’s all to do with the horse lorry. The time has come for it to be plated and Alison has told me it will cost about £1000 for the stuff that needs done to it and passed through it’s MOT. This lorry is the bane of my life as I don’t think they use it enough to justify the cost of keeping it on the road. To be fair, she does do hires where someone needs transport to move horses about but she doesn’t charge nearly enough. Alison’s problem is that she is too kind hearted. She has no business sense and is easily manipulated. She may plan to charge someone for example £120 to move the horse but ends up agreeing to £80. I try and take nothing to do with it but it isn’t easy when you say money being thrown at it with little return.
On a personal front it has all been quiet with everything involving myself rolling along quite nicely. I am enjoying the run in to the Premiership title and it always helps when you want no team in particular to win it although Leicester would be my last choice. Talking of football my attention is more on the Championship with Derby finding new ways each week to make an arse of themselves. On Saturday they drew 3-3 at Rotherham or as the website said ‘on form’ Rotherham as they tried to make the draw out to be a decent result. The problem was that they were 3-0 up with 8 minutes to play and somehow managed to lose 3 goals. The clueless manager, Darren Wassell, tried to blame the players and didn’t take one ounce of responsibility however when you look at one particular moment in the game then it is quite obvious who is to blame. Leading 3-0 with 20 minutes to play Mr Wassell felt the game wasn’t yet won (how true that turned out to be) and decided to change things by taking off the holding midfielder, George Thorne, and also striker,Chris Martin, who had scored earlier to make it 4 goals in 4 games. He replaced them with two strikers who couldn’t hit a barn door at the moment and with they puzzling changes he also had to change the shape of the team, the shape that had Derby 3-0 ahead and playing some of their best football of the season. The result was of course, as I have already said, was the loss of 3 goals and two points.
Darren Wassell with his backroom staff
The owner of the club, who had sacked Paul Clement and replaced him with his own puppet, is now seeing that maybe he has made a huge mistake but instead of holding his hands up and removing Wassell from his position, he has persuaded Harry Redknapp to come in as a mentor. I don’t know whether this is a good thing or not. I am glad Harry is there as he will be able to organise the team and get them playing consistently but I also hope that the owners are looking at getting a proper manager in for next season and Darren Wassell can return to his duties with the youth academy.
Soccer Manager still continues with the old interface option and I, for one, am delighted with this. I do wish, however, they would come out with a statement that tells us if the old interface option is now always going to be there or if they are still planning to drop it. If they said that the choice will always be there then I would consider going gold once again. I have always said I will not give them another penny but if the option for the old interface was to be there indefinitely then I would go back on my word.
The new match engine has not changed the way I thought it would have. Last night in The Churchill Cup (report coming tomorrow) my Liverpool side inexplicably went down 3-0 to Newcastle of which I will talk more about later on. The problem I had with this was that Newcastle played with 10 men for 86 minutes. If Newcastle had won 1-0 it would have been fair enough but to win 3-0 is just ridiculous and tells me the red card problem is still alive and well. Getting a player sent off is pointless as it doesn’t affect the game. All it does is get a player suspended for 1 or 3 games which is no big deal to be honest. In my opinion, the whole discipline part of the game needs overhauled as I also think that 5 yellows equalling a one game suspension is very weak. If they are happy with 5 yellows before a suspension then they should try and fix it so that after the five yellows, then another 3 would men a two game suspension and also carry yellow cards over to the next season. That may not be the best answer to the discipline side and I am sure there will be better ways but whatever the case, I think suspensions need to be more severe the more times a player gets booked.
Life at Liverpool in the Top 100 has been mixed recently. The league performances have been much improved but the Youth Cup and the Regional Cup have been a disaster. Their has also been movement in the transfer market that I think will benefit the club.
In the league we are on a run of 6 games without a loss. Admittedly 4 of they games have been draws but when you are near the bottom end of the table then every point counts. Last time out we had our best performance of the season as we won 2-0 at Real Madrid. Goals from Lucas and Skrtel gave us the win but I have to mention the defence that has tightened up tremendously in the last month and has played a huge part in our current run. The introduction of Erkin to the left back position seems to have made a big difference and the decision to let Sakho move on is becoming a good decision.
Erkin has been a pleasant surprise
Tonight, at Anfield, we take on a struggling Inter Milan side that has been banned from transfer dealings for a month(?) after pulling out of an agreed deal earlier in the season. As is every game in Division 1, this will be a tricky match as they will be fighting for every point they can get but I have held a meeting with the players and have told them that there is no point in winning in Madrid if they lose to Inter tonight. This game also marks the start of the second half of the season and I will be looking for a marked improvement on the 3 points that they took from the first 6 games in the first half.
The Churchill Cup, which is our section of the Regional Cup, has been a disaster. We have lost 3 games out of 3, scoring just 1 goal and conceding 7. Last night we went down 3-0 at Newcastle, a complete embarrassment to the club with the performance being the low point of my time here. The players just don’t seem to be able to get up for this competition and with just one game to come against Celtic, I will be fielding a reserve side and tell them that whoever plays well will get a chance to show what they can do in a league match.
The Youth Cup has also been poor with just one win and a draw in six games, effectively eliminating us from the competition. I accept that some of the youth players are out of their depth and still have a lot to learn but there were players that should have performed better and been an inspiration to the rest but simply were not up to the task. One of these players, Divock Origi, has been sold on. This has brought it’s share of criticism but as far as I am concerned he did not show any enthusiasm in a role that a lot of players would give their right arm for. He has now moved on to AC Milan and maybe Mr Beddows can get something out of him that I couldn’t or maybe even the warmer climate may be more to his liking. While Origi was going to Milan along with another youngster, Sheyi Ojo, a legend was coming the other way. We are delighted to welcome Nigel De Jong to Anfield. We have been searching for a suitable midfielder to play along with Lucas in the centre and Nigel fits the bill. He brings with him a wealth of experience and he has also picked up a lot of that experience playing in relegation battles since he has been at AC Milan. I think this could be the final piece that we need to make sure we finish in a safe mid-table position this season and then we can start looking at kicking on and trying to spend more time challenging for a top six position than trying to get away from the bottom end.
Nigel De Jong. The final piece?
The next thing I am wanting for Liverpool is to try and look at strengthening the youth team all over the park. We will once again be entering the Youth Cup next season but this time I want a team that is capable of going all the way and the scouting for that begins now.
Finally, still on the transfer front, Martin Skrtel and I had a disagreement and it has resulted in Martin wanting away. I have granted his wish but have told him that he wont go cheaply. In return I will be looking for a replacement central defender that is a bit younger than Martin but with a rating of 87/88 being acceptable. Martin still has 3 or 4 seasons ahead of him and will be a good purchase for a side that are playing in a lower league.
Well that will do it for today. Probably not as entertaining as some previous blogs but when you are not in the best of moods and suffering a hit of a grand for something that is of no interest, it is difficult to get motivated. Anyway, as always, I would like to thank you for reading and I hope it wasn’t to tedious. Next week will be another Fannie Licker interview and I believe the next subject will be chosen within the next hour.
Once again thank you for taking the time to read and I will see you all in a fortnight.
Ciao
Things turn tasty in France...and its not the cuisine...
So there you are, chugging along in France with the inevitability of Lyon's dominance and then suddenly out of nowhere...BOOM (copyright Jurgen Klopp 2016)
At the Parc des Princes in front of 11,056 supporters, Monaco, the Division Three side with a Golden Bear in charge decided to unleash their Golden Bollocks on Gary Naylor's PSG side.
An even and hard fought match with possession shared started well for the home side with Pastore giving PSG the lead in only three minutes...things looked bleak for Monaco but one thing we are learning about the side from the principality is that they are plucky, they keep going and they can grind out a result when needed. Level at Half Time thanks to Moutinho hitting the net on 13 minutes this game had the look of yet another draw all over it...but whatever the half time team talk consisted of it worked as Monaco proved sharper than their Division Two rivals where it mattered most...Moutinho in 63 minutes and Gabi on 77 seeing Monaco run out 3-1 winners and with events elsewhere taking a turn for the worst for Lyon there was a grand view awaiting Monaco from the table summit upon the final whistle...they are daring now to dream big in Monaco...two games to go and still unbeaten in the group could they be on the brink of advancing against all the odds.
And to help them their Division Three compatriots Marseille pulled off a shock at the Velodrome with a 1-0 win against Lyon...yes Lyon...the team who two games ago must have thought this was going to be a walk in the park are now having to look up at Monaco above them in the table and looking down to see PSG and Marseille both snapping at their heels a couple of points adrift.
Lyon dominated, they tackled hard and that was maybe their undoing on the night...Marseille took the lead completely against the run of the game on 43 minutes through Rekik...Lyon's Grenier being sent off just after the restart on 46 minutes gave Marseille hope of clinging on and they did with some excellent defending against increasingly desperate Lyon attacks...Marseille's Kevin Wallace had written off their chances and made three changes to the starting line up to allow a bit of fringe player game time...their only slim hope was the fixtures that gave them three home games now to try and rekindle their tournament...after last night they might once again be in the mix to advance and if they don't they may yet play a big part in who does.
Two games to go, Monaco top on 8 points, a positive goal difference and still unbeaten after 4 games...would anyone now bet against them??
Lyon are second on 6 points with PSG & Marseille on 4 apiece...suddenly things look a lot different in France and its all back in the mix going into the final two midweeks.
Next week its Lyon v PSG and Monaco travel to Marseille.
Achilles Cup - Match Day 3
Galatasaray 0 – 1 Fenerbahce
With the teams joint bottom with just a point each from their previous endeavours in the competition this promised to be a blood and guts affair, however the only thing hot on offer proved to be the tea served at the Turk Telekom Arena.
It appeared that both teams were intent on not losing rather than winning with the first half dominated by the defences however on 37 minutes a rare foray forward from the visitors lead to a corner which Souza whipped into the box and was met by Callejon whose header was powered in off the post.
This should have been the signal for Gala to open up and look for an equaliser and 2 minutes later a speculative long range effort from Melo that Casilla did well to turn over the bar seemed to signal a change of intent by the hosts.
But that turned out be the sum of all the attacking intent from both teams for the night, if the first half had been short on goal mouth action it was none existent in the second with both keepers being virtual spectators for 45 minutes.
The result virtually ends Galatasaray manager Princes hopes of silverware in this competition whilst for Fenerbahce supremo Little it keeps them on the coat tails of the pack leaders.
Olympiacos 1 – 0 Besiktas
The Greeks went into this game needing a victory to put some distance between at least one of the bottom two clubs who faced each other over in Istanbul whilst Besiktas had the opportunity to put a country mile between them and the rest of the group if they could take 3 points.
As many higher league opponents have found in various competitions this season Olympicaos are a tough nut to crack and so again it proved. The Besiktas cause wasn’t helped however when a reckless challenge from behind by Toivonen on Kasami earned him a straight red on 37 minutes.
The hosts however struggled to make their numerical advantage count until just after the hour mark when a slick ball through to Pavoletti from Fortounis was struck with ferocity by the Italian which gave Zengin with no chance of stopping.
The home team had goalkeeper Lopez to thank though for helping them to all t3 points with a late save from an Ozyakup free kick which looked destined for the back of the net but for an acrobatic save from the veteran Spaniard.
The win puts Olympicaos a point behind Besiktas who still hold on to top spot despite the defeat.
The Turks manager Vogeleer will see the Toivonen dismissal as being crucial to the outcome but can have no complaints whilst opposite number McLean will take his side to Fenerbahce next week with even greater confidence.
Putin Cup - Match Day 4
CSKA Moscow 1 – 0 – Lokomotiv Moscow
Whilst the Putin Cup has been short on goals and thrills this game conformed to the former but bucked the latter.
CSKA bouncing off their first win of the competition last week against Dynamo hosted a Lokomotiv side also on the up after their victory of Zenit.
Whilst the visitors had the lions share of the possession and created the majority of opportunities they came up against a keeper in outstanding form in the shape of Leali who pulled off a number of outstanding saves to keep out a string of efforts from Samedov and Soldado who on another night could have had a hat-trick.
Loko’s inability to convert their opportunities was punished on 73 minutes when a free kick by Antonelli was floated across the penalty area and met by Raman who left Guilherme stranded as the ball hit the back of the net.
7 minutes later however Ramans contribution was over after a second yellow card and he had to watch nervously with the rest of the bench as CSKA saw out the remaining 10 minutes.
Lokomotiv boss Owen will walk away from this with one word on his lips, “How”, whilst the home team gaffer Smith will be happy at the defensive steel shown by his side and delighted at leaping over their opponent in the table.
Spartak Moscow 0 – 1 Dynamo Moscow
The curse of the Putin Cup struck again with little on offer to warm the spectators in this chilly Moscow derby.
Table toppers Spartak were hoping to put distance between themselves and second place Dynamo but the visitors were determined to take the opportunity to leap frog the hosts.
The game was decided in favour of the Dynamo in the 24thminute when Valbuena fed a ball through Ari who decided to take a shot early which caught Alvardo off guard and left him helpless to prevent the ball hitting the roof of the net.
Whilst on the balance of play Spartak boss Houston will have thought his side should have come away with at least a share of the spoils Dynamo supremo Razzaque will not be looking at the stats as his team now sit at the top of the pile.
Didiers Diving Dilemma, a tongue in cheek guide to Drogbas Deutschland Demise .
When he took charge of Vfb Stuttgart in January Feargal A Hickey appointed some of his countrymen to key positions in his back room staff . Jerry “the gloves O’Reilly” became goalkeeping coach .O’Reillys work with Ospina and Caballero has paid dividends with both showing marked improvement in form since the start of the season.
In defence Hickey hired Bertie “The Bus” Butler as coach. Once again the results have been immediate,with Stuttgart boasting on of the meanest defences in the devision,despite having to replace the veteran central defensive partnership of Mario Yepes and Gareth McAuley .
Larry “Lefty” Lawlor became midfield coach with the task of bringing discipline and focus to the Reds engine room . Upfront the Irishman chose Andy “The afterburner"Byrne , famous for his lightning speed when bearing down on terrified defenders , when he lined out for Bray “Unknowns"in the mid seventies.
With all the coaching roles filled, Hickey in an effort to ingratiate himself with the Stuttgarters , made his most controversial appointment. The club were on need of a new physio so Feargal A chose none other than alpine skier and winter Olympic champion Fannie Chemeler as club physiotherapist.
Fannie’s work with the squad has been outstanding with players reporting that their spirits are lifted and other members are stiffened in their resolve to perform better following sessions with Fannie , You dear reader would be forgiven for thinking that life at Vfb is one never ending virtuous circle of pleasure, but you’d be wrong.There is one player who’s form has suffered under the new regime, suffered so badly that he has seen his career at Stuttgart nose dive ,as it were. That player, now departed for Aston Villa,is Didier ‘Bentekers ’ Drogba.
The Ivorian has long been associated with simulation and diving throughout his career, but the effect Fannie has had on him has brought him to newer depths on the pitch. I caught up with him after a recent session with Fannie at Stuttgarts training complex. I asked him about the perception among some of his teammates that his diving is costing the team vital points at a crucial time in the season .
In broken English the beanpole striker explained “wen ze ball she comes across I like to dive into ze box.Wen I dive I like to have my tongue out coz it ’elps me come into ze box quicker..Wen I touch ze box my tongue is ticketed by ze short grass on ze pitch. He continued, “It is den that I hear ze mowenz and as I slide deepeur into ze box ze mowening becomes louder, but it is not ze gid mowening, it is ze crowd mowenig ‘coz I have missed my balls in ze box .
Needless to say his manager is having none of it, Hickey says “I’ve sold him on because he contributes sweet Fanny Adams to the cause.So Didier has moved on to pastures new at Villa Park . Let’s hope his career reaches new heights at his new home .After all this excitement I think Need a quick massage myself , later!
Gino Kinnearo meets...
Rahul (Aston Villa) and Mark Hewitt (Montpellier) have referred to him as a poor man’s Lukaku, while David Senior (Valencia) and Mark Stewart (Hertha) compared him to being as nothing more than a Kenyan long distance runner with about as much pace as a hippopotamus but Beddows was delighted to allow one of his 5 new signings Origi to sit down for a public interview.
 |
| Milan have made 5 new signings in the last 48 hours |
Origi sat down this afternoon ahead his possible AC Milan debut this evening in Germany in the Top 100 Shield to speak to the No 1 journalist in Italy and Top 100, Gino Kinnearo…
1) “Origi, welcome to The San Siro, how does it differ from Liverpool?”
Well there is no sign of dirty Scousers and I already fully understand everything that I have been asked to do in training, Liverpool, was a difficult environment for me, I had 4 cars stolen in my time there, my house was burgled 3 times and I had 2 managers who made no sense, I just couldn’t understand their instructions, and Gordon Kinnear for example was commuting from Glasgow every day and didn’t even know about the Liverpool Superlambananas – culturally and tactically inept is how I would describe him!
2) “What are your first impressions of Milan and Beddows?”
Milan and Beddows for me are everything that I have ever dreamed of… for me the excitement of flying with Ryanair bound for Orio al Serio and then taking the shuttle bus to Milan city centre, visiting the Duomo and the Castello… it is all a dream and when I walked out on the San Siro pitch the feeling that I got can only be comparable with that feeling you get when you step into your first strip club at age 16… so many possibilities!
3) “Some said that you were bound for Genoa and the Don Frank Hirst?”
I don’t speak or read well in English but it is my understanding that in my contract a clause was entered when Gordon Kinnear got given the Liverpool job, despite their being a number of other candidates – it was something like IF I ‘Frank Hirst’ give you Gordon Kinnear the job then I get first refusal on Origi and Ojo… so I think this was the intention – Liverpool as a club stinks of corruption with that Hirst at the very top!
4) “Were you not linked to Juventus at one point as well?”
Ah… DP… A strange example of a human being – at one point he was following me around, after training he was there with his sunglasses, newspaper and iced tea – he never said anything – but I knew it was him – he was apparently checking that no one else was talking to me- I believe he paid off managers like Kevin Wallace (Marseille) Robert Downing (SC Internacional) and Josh McMillan (Sao Paulo) with promises of future stars… In the end with the aid of a translator I convinced Gordon to forcibly remove him.
5) “Some managers reacted angrily to your move to Milan, Greg Owen of Lokomotiv Moscow for example claims that you should be banned from professional football due to the doping crisis in Kenya, stating that as your father is Kenyan you yourself are therefore guilty by association. What do you say to this?”
LOL… it wasn’t only Greg Owen, both David Piero (Tottenham) and Tom Parfitt (Levante) have written strongly worded letter to Frank asking for me to be banned by association… ironic that all 3 of those managers are failures and places I would never ever consider going to…
6) “Do you expect to see much football at Milan this season?”
Beddows has been very clear that he doesn’t anticipate much of a first team chance this season but has said that I will lead the line in the Youth Cup and might get some Pavarotti Cup action as well. Both of these competitions excite me a lot.
Gino Kinnearo that proceeded to give a 5 hour long interview to Sky Sports News Italia about the merits of Beddows’ approach to football management and his tremendous dealings in the transfer market…
TOP 100-Division 1: Mid-Season Review
TOP 100:Division 1
Mid-Season Review
We are at the half way stage of Season 2 in TOP 100. Barcelona, Bayern, Real Madrid and Juventus are in the top 4 while Inter Milan, Valencia, Lazio and Sevilla are in the relegation zone.
Season 2 of TOP 100 is now in its midway. Each of the 20 teams has played 19 games and all teams have another 19 to play. Defending champions Manchester United are in 6th place and potentially out of the title race with a 16 point gap from leaders Barcelona. In addition to Barcelona, there are four other teams that sit in the best position to challenge Barcelona for the title in Division 1.Whereas, teams like Sevilla and Lazio have a lot to do to remain in the top division of TOP 100. A look at the League table is given below followed by a brief review of all the teams.
League Table
Barcelona
Barcelona are leading the table with 47 games and are unbeaten for a record 33 games in the league under Scott Mckenzie.However, they were knocked out of the cup by 4th Division side Dynamo Moscow on penalties in the second round. Barcelona have a lot to look forward in this week with a fourth round shield game against Real Madrid followed by league games against Fenerbahce and Bayern Munich. Barcelona have often been classified as a one man team and this week they have a chance to prove their critics wrong with Messi being injured for 9 days,he has provided 8 assists and 15 goals in as many games this season. It remains to be seen how Barcelona cope up with these issues with the likes of Bayern and Real Madrid breathing down their neck.They are one of the favourites to lift the division one trophy.
Gursimran brar has built a brilliant team this season. They are now sitting second, just four points from the top. The whole team has been performing very well to give a nice balance to the team. They have scored the highest amount of goals in the division with all players stepping up to the take responsibility. However, they have failed to turn up in the big games with recent losses to Juventus and Real Madrid fresh in the mind. The recent acquisition of Vincent Kompany from Chelsea is giving them stability at the back pairing alongside the ever reliable Jerome Boateng. Moreover, the recent signings of Felipe Anderson, Danny Welbeck, Max Meyer, Andre Gomes and Abdul Rahman Baba goes on to show the will of the management to build for the future but simultaneously keep the squad competitive to regularly challenge for trophies. They are very much in the title picture but i reckon the management would be happy with a cup or shield trophy to add to the SMFA Super Cup and a top 3 finish.
Real Madrid
Real Madrid are the bookie's favourite to win the league. They are now four points behind the leaders Barcelona. They have a very strong team making expectations very high at the Santiago Bernabeu every time the players step out they are expected to win. They have brought in a few big names with the likes of Diego Godin, Juanfran Torres, Harry Kane and Cesc Fabregas being lured in by Roy Keane. Real Madrid were knocked out of the cup by their local rival Atlectio Madrid. Roy Keane would be looking to defend his shield trophy and now faces a daunting away game in the fourth round against an in-form Barcelona, Madrid are favourites to emerge victorious as a wounded Roy Keane would be after blood following the recent loss to Liverpool in the League and an injury to Messi definitely helps his cause.
JUVENTUS
DP is one of TOP 100's fiercest negotiators and his tactics meant Juventus got the deal of the season with Leroy Sane and Ricardo Rodriguez coming in to consolidate the squad for the departing Pierre Emerik Aubameyang. He moved quickly enough to replace Auba with potential future ballon d'or winner Antoine Griezmann. DP is out to disprove the theory that titles cannot be won with kids. The Juventus boss has combined youth and experience to create a squad that sits eight points off the top of division one and plays Hamburg in the fourth round of the shield on Tuesday. Juventus suffered recent losses to Barcelona and Leverkusen which has upset their title charge but have bounced back this week with a solid 4-0 victory over Fiorentina. They have one of the best defensive records in the division with the centre back pairing of Bonucci and Chiellini often shutting the door on oppositions. Juventus look on course to get the 4th SMFA spot but would be pushed for it by Porto.
FC PORTO
Porto has been the surprise package of this season. Andre Guerra has done wonders for Porto working on what could be called a shoe string budget or an average squad in terms of the other Division 1 sides. He took over the reigns last season when then manager Dan Wallace quit the game altogether for reasons best known to him but it came as a blessing in disguise as Guerra stuck to the task and eventually ensured that Porto were promoted into Division 1 via the playoff's where Europe's elite belong. This season Yacini Brahimi has been excellent in a well drilled unit, which has one of the best defensive records this season. Andre Guerra has been hailed as a genius by both the management and the fans for keeping hold of key talents Ruben Neves and Alex Sandro, whereas utilising his vast network to procure key signings of Lukaku,Martins Indi and Julian Weigl since his arrival. He has been producing fair results from his limited options on the pitch. The management would be very happy with a fifth place finish this season and if they manage to leapfrog Juventus into fourth position it would be the icing on the cake.
Manchester United
Manchester United boss Joe Jordon is in deep trouble with a lot of fans calling for his head. Joe Jordon has accused the Manchester United fans of being Glory Hunters and blamed them for not sticking with the team in hard times. They are now sixth with 31 points. Star players like Rooney, Mata and Herrera are underperforming and the manager has brought in no new big signing to assure the fans. Manchester United have been almost non active in the transfer market which have added to Jordon's woes. The qualification for the SMFA competitions looks highly unlikely and speculation is rife that the board are looking for a replacement for Jordon only three months after he led them to the division 1 title. This season they have failed to create something upfront on a regular basis and have scored even less goals than 14th placed Milan led by the controversial Beddows. Moreover, the early exists in the cup and shield have not gone down well with the supporters especially the 4-0 drubbing at the hands of PSG in the first round of the shield has seen fans turn on Jordon.
Arsenal
Michael Bowes had a tough job at hand when he took over the reigns at Arsenal, he has not done much to help his cause amongst the Arsenal faithful. The fans may still be recovering from the loss of their beloved stars Alexis Sanchez and Mesut Ozil to their biggest rivals Chelsea and Tottenham Hotspur. A challenge for the top 4 does not seem anywhere in sight and would be happy if they manage to win the cup or shield. Although, beating Chelsea in the recent derby gives them the bragging rights they might just have to contend with a top half finish. The lesson has become clearer over the years but the London based club never seem to learn it; if you are to compete for the highest honours, you cannot keep selling your best players to rival clubs. Hopefully, they finally learn their lesson and can keep hold of Ross Barkley and Anthony Martial for the years to come with the likes of Real Madrid, Juventus and Atletico always sniffing around for young talent.
Atletico Madrid
The Doctor it appears is non concerned about the league and is hell bent on creating a legacy of flourishing in the youth cup.He is very pragmatic and continues to make the best of his youthful squad. Moreover, there has been a lot to cheer for the fans with Atletico knocking Real Madrid out of the cup competition and having the bragging rights in the derby. The doctor would be looking forward to rallying the troops for the league encounter against Real Madrid on Thursday as they look to shedding their image of being the second best club in Madrid. However, the recent victory over Arsenal would give them confidence going into the game and with Real Madrid involved in a shield tie with Barcelona and injury to top goal scorer Robert Lewandowski this tie could not have come at a better time for Atletico. A manager in Top 100 on the promise of anonymity recently commented with regards to Jorge Koke sale that 'The Doctor will squeeze you till your balls hurt'. The acquisition of Bernardo Silva, John Stones, Keita Balde, Marco Asensio this season will ensure that the club remain on course to defend their youth title.
Fenerbahce SK
Fenerbahce had a very successful season last year under the leadership of Noisy now at Leverkusen, and there was speculation whether they would be able to improve and hold their own in division one but they have been phenomenal under Norman Little this season. Fenerbahce don't have a very good goal difference, and their defence is not leak-proof either but they have managed to get results, which matter. Kiko Casilla has had a strong showing under the bars which has seen him win the MOM award quite a few times and has won points for Fenerbahce on his own. If they could keep up their performances, they should be able to make a very respectable mid-table finish considering they were the favourites to go down at the start of the season.
Chelsea
As Scott Mckenzie's Barcelona are cruising in Division one lets spare a thought for James Mckenzie a manager who has been stuck under the shadow of his brother this season. Out of all the teams in Division one it can be clearly said that Chelsea have been the biggest under performers thus far. Midfield has been the weak spot for the team with the duo of Jordon Henderson and Charles Aranguiz pulling the strings, in such circumstances the sale of Cesc Fabregas clearly highlights a bad management decision who was by far one of their best performers last season and has slotted nicely into the Real Madrid team. The team still has enough experience and it would be unwise to predict that their poor run will continue for the rest of their season. I expect them to kick on their campaign from now on and look at a top eight finish. Moreover, they would be looking at the shield for some silverware this season having lost in the final of the SMFA Super cup to Bayern.
ACF Fiorentina
It is a rocky time for Fiorentina. Star players are ageing, and high profile signings Daniel Baier and Valter Bisla are proving as flops. Consistently inconsistent this should sum up the season for Fiorentina. The vulnerability may be somewhat explained by the defensive tactics adopted by the manager. They are a fine team playing against stronger teams so they sit back, wait for opportunities to come by and exploit them in the counter attack. But against teams struggling at the foot of the table like Sevilla, La viola have failed to drive home the advantage as they refuse to change their tactics and choose to sit back to defend rather than breaking such teams down. Fiorentina have one of the oldest starting eleven over the course of the first half of the season but time is running out fast on some of these players and the management should strongly consider looking into investing in some youth to avoid problems at a latter stage.
Leverkusen
They were cautioned for engaging in a relegation dog fight but they have been the giant killers of the division having the scalps of Juventus and Bayern to name a few. Their transition from Division 2 has been rather smooth and rarely have they looked out of place. However, the manager has at times shown his inexperience by fielding a youth side in some league fixtures and jumping at the first chance to managing a bigger side after winning the title with Fenerbahce. In hindsight if only he had waited a few weeks he could have potentially been a front runner for his dream job with Arsenal. However, the have been very impressive in the Youth cup being the table leaders of Group F ahead of giants Real Madrid. They find themselves just outside of the top half of the table at this time and should finish around the same position if the maintain their composure for the rest of the season. They have a very impressive young squad and should be able to compete in the coming seasons should they be able to hold onto their younger stars and the manager spends more time with the team in training.
Liverpool
Liverpool don't take to kindly who pushes him too hard on a deal. When the doctor had the arrogance to post on the news feed that Juventus had the better offer on Koke to kickstart a bidding war he publicly decided to pull out of the deal as he had offered what he deemed fair. Gino's positive approach to Liverpool squad has unified and reenergised the squad at his disposal. Liverpool have recently been turning up for big games recently handing a 2-0 defeat to the bookies favourite Real Madrid, hopefully they can carry their league form into the cup quarterfinals next week where they face Division 4 side Dynamo Moskva who had earlier on in the tournament eliminated Barcelona. A lot of people have questioned his transfer dealings most notably the sale of club captain Jordon Henderson immediately after arriving at the helm and the sale of future midfielder star Emre Can but he has been able to prove his critics wrong with the team slowly responding to his methods.
AC MILAN
The managerial record of AC Milan manager Stephen Beddows does not represent a very rosy picture, he had less than glorious time at Zenit and our sources reveal that it was his intimate relationship with Vladimir Putin that he has landed the Milan job. Beddows is one of the cronies of league chairman Frank Hirst and is clearly being groomed to succeed him should he decide to step down one day. AC Milan have been very poor at home this season winning only one game at home against Liverpool and they lie just outside of the relegation places. They are just three points ahead of seventeenth placed Inter Milan. The club lie in sixth place in terms of goals scored this season, Mario Balotelli is the fourth highest scorer in the league and has done well leading the line alongside the legendary Andy Caroll. However, a little bit of consistency in defence would do a world of good for the manager and his team. Staying in the first division would be a priority for the manager but an extended run in the shield would be good for the morale of the team.
Olympique Lyonnais
With only three wins this season to their name this season, Lyon find themselves just above the drop zone. They have drawn 9 times out of the 19 times they have played this season and cant seem to find a goal scorer in their ranks. The manager has turned to Haris Vuckic for the goals and the 82 rated youngster has responded with 2 goals in as many starts, he is not the only youngster Giovani Cabrioli has replaced Anthony Lopes in goal with lesser known 23 year old Jakob Haugaard who has put in 3 Man of the match performances in six games. Lyon have certainly lacked goal with them being the joint lowest scorers in the league thats why the decision to sell star striker Davy Klaassen came as a shock to many. Moreover, star names such as Moreno Rodrigo, Francesco Totti, Sofiane Feghouli, Clement Grenier and Kolarov regularly find themselves on the bench his style of management has certainly left a lot of people confused. However, a lot of top managers believe unless he starts playing the top players the club could find themselves battling to stay out of the relegation places and with top clubs like Inter Milan andManchester City just two points behind them and Valencia finding form with the appointment of David Senior its not long before Lyon would constantly be looking over their shoulder.
Manchester City
Manchester City with only one win in their last 15 games, things must change quickly for them if they wish to remain in the first division. Will Trafford was paraded as the new manager of the club during the pre-season tour of the club, things have never really kicked on for the manager and now he finds the club just out of the relegation places on goal difference. Despite the abundant talent available at the managers disposal they have not been able to grind out the results, even though they have been linked with a lot of good players the only signing the manager has managed to bring in has been of ageing star Andrea Pirlo but even he with all his experience has not been able to lift the morale of the squad. The manager really needs to step up his game as relegation with Manchester City and he might struggle to get another job in the league. The fans were prepared to give the manager time but they might soon be coming to the stadium with 'Trafford Out Signs'. Its such an irony that Will Trafford has landed the job at Manchester City with the united fans grinning from ear to ear.
Inter Milan
The Inter Milan fans are fuming ever since the new manager has taken over they have fallen into the relegation places. A fan went as far to say his only qualification for the job was that he was Roy Keane's brother look how Darren Ferguson turned out how could we expect any better from Brian Clough. The Manager has also been banned from any transfer dealings for the next month for retracting on an offer for Mats Hummels. The Bayern Munich manager was furious and said, ' the Inter Milan manager talks a lot but when the time comes he goes back on his word. Brian Clough has become something of an embarrassment to Inter since taking charge and he could become the first casualty of Top 100 should he finish in the bottom two. However, it has been reported Roy Keane shall be personally coming and taking training sessions of the team on his off days, so Inter could surely hope to get some good form going and move up the table through a crowded bottom half of the table.
Valencia
Valencia manager David Senior has confirmed that there is a re-join clause in his contract with Valencia should he not manage to keep Valencia from being in the bottom two. However, the club has had a major turn around since Senior took charge having won the last two league outings and steadily climbing up the table. The Manager is convinced he would be able to pull of this second half rescue mission and hopefully the club would be saved from relegation. The signs certainly look very encouraging with a 5-1 rout of fellow relegation battlers Sevilla with both new boys Lallana and Morata getting a brace each and the prior 4-2 mauling of the Doctor's young Atletico side.
They have been hammered a few times, particularly away from home but have managed to hold onto their one goal advantage, quite a few times. They have the second worse defensive record in the division but the new manager is confident that his training methods would have a total turn around in the clubs fortunes and next season they would be up there competing with the best. The manager has moved quickly to put his stamp on the team with plenty of new signings.
Lazio
Fred Dodger has decided to jump into the frying pan by taking over the vacant Lazio job. Lazio alongside Sevilla are joint favourites to go down. However, Dodger has revealed that prior to taking up the job the owners had discussed the possibility of him continuing even in the event of a relegation. He has taken over a club who in their last 10 home games have not managed to register a single win and is the only club to do so. The manager would look to turn to talismanic goal scorer Arjen Robben if they are to have any chance of staying up in Division one. Dodger has inherited an ageing squad but one which still has a lot of playing time left in them with the likes of Biglia, Candreva and Perotti big names that other managers have targeted in the past. The major problem of the team is the balance of the squad and the manager would have to move quickly to address the issue at hand in their bid for survival. Its still very early on in Dodger's stint as manager but we would love for a cinderella story to come out of it with him being the man to guide them out of the relegation mess. If not we could traditionally see Lazio placed in the same division as its biggest rivals Roma next season.
Sevilla
There is not much to write about Sevilla. Traditionally, 40 points has been thought as an entry to safe zone. This time around, 35 points seem good enough. With their poor defence, lacklustre attack and no real leader on the pitch, even getting to that point would be a tough task. Jamie Aldridge has to dig deep to find some crucial points in the second half of the season. Moreover, the Sevilla fans are demanding the head of the current manager and even carrying banners to all the games, team rooted to the relegation places throughout the season. The sale of James McCarthy to an external club was probably worst transfer decision of the season and although sad you can understand the reason for the current plight of the football club. Any team would fancy their chances against this Sevilla side and its time to bid adieu to the first division of Top 100. If they are to have any chance of survival Machim Vitolo, Yevhen Konoplyanka and Kevin Gameiro need to stand up and be counted.
Mid Season Review Predictions
Champions- Real Madrid
Runners up- Barcelona
Top 100 Cup- Bayern
Top 100 Shield- Juventus or Bayern
Youth Cup- Atletico Madrid
SMFA Places - Barcelona and Juventus
Relegated sides- Sevilla, Lazio, Lyon and Inter Milan (maybe)
Top Goal scorer- Messi
Transfer of the season- Alvaro Morata
Worst transfer of the season- James McCarthy