2016
Top100 Gossip Edition 6
The exit door is open over at the Hawthorns. Mark Deadman has told first team players Oscar Duarte and Pierre-Michel Lasogga to find new clubs after they were caught enjoying themselves in the Aston Villa club museum, sparking a midlands diplomatic nightmare. Lasogga is thought to be interesting Sassuolo and Sampdoria, Duarte is being tracked by Milan, Liege, Genoa, Twente, Hellas Verona, Sevilla and Malaga, whilst Dortmund and Sunderland are interested in taking both as a package.
Over in Italy, Manager, President and Duce of Fascism, sorry Milan, Stephen Beddows, has refused Juventus permission to speak to alleged drugs cheat and serial self imploder Mario Balotelli. Juve manager DP 91 had agreed a deal with Barbara Berlusconi after an illicit evening at the Opera, however Beddows has overruled his girlfriend’s decision declaring that from now on, she will have no say in the running of her family’s club, ‘It's good to trust others but, not to do so is much better.’
Malaga chief Greg Bilboa has declared himself Catholic after putting in bids for Hamburg midfielder Carlos Sanchez, then withdrawing them shortly after. Then putting it in. Then pulling out. David Marsden is desperately hoping that Bilboa can keep it in long enough to see the climax of the offer and finally have some proper transfer relief. It’s been weeks apparently.
Liege narrowly missed out on potential prodigy Diaz Mariano after Olympiakos submitted a late bid for the forward whilst Foster was asleep in bed. It’s though that Alex McLean is in desperate need of someone who can bend over to help pick up all the false teeth and carry out bed baths for all the OAP’s over in Piraeus.
The race for Liege’s top Belgian keeper Matz Sels has intensified after FC Twente placed a rival bid to Stuttgart’s offer. Foster has indicated to staff at the club that he will only accept an offer that involves 2 players joining and improves his first team, and there is no guarantee he will sanction a move at all. The Liege manager also advised the Director of Football to find new clubs for Salzano, Rojas, Leckie, Hinterseer, Acosta, Rescaldani and Ginczek.
Gareth Crisp refuses to win anything with kids after making multiple youth players available at Athletic Bilbao. After a disappointing Youth Cup performance a host of youngsters could see their careers in tatters. Won’t somebody please think of the children?!
After bringing in Moussa ‘the haircut’ Sow and youngster N’Gouma, Warren Livesey has turned his attention to a young Norwegian player from the EPL. Joshua King is thought to be at the centre of a tug of war between Lyon and Crystal Palace. The pacy Norwegian failed to pull up any trees at Bayer Leverkusen who sold him back to Bournemouth for a small profit, however both clubs will be hoping that the player can help them sit on the throne of their respective divisions.
Gino Kinnear faces a battle to keep hold of Laurens De Bock, with Club Brugge and Olimpiakos the latest sides to be sniffing around. The Liverpool hierarchy are thought to be keen to hold on to the player however as he makes a mean Belgian waffle.
AS Roma have decided enough is enough and have made Adem Ljajic available for exchange. Frankland has been overheard complaining about the difficulty in how to pronounce the Serbians surname, and the club shop have ran out of letter J’s. The Roma chief is keen on replacing Ljajic with a CB of similar age and rating.
Espanyol continue to dip their figurative toes in the transfer market with bids for Gustavo Cabral and Geoff Cameron. Doug Earle seems eager to follow the Greek model of Olimpiakos and increase the average age of the squad, knowing full well that this could adversely affect the club’s spending on tea bags and Werther’s Originals.
Leverkusen win relegation battle in Florence.
Thursday night saw us draw to relegation rivals Manchester United and we have followed up that point with a superb comeback win in Florence against Fiorentina.
Gomez put Fiorentina ahead in the 13th minute and it looked like they would lead at the break until David Silva who was recently linked with a move away from Leverkusen drew the Germans level.
Silva on the move again?
Toprak with the winner
In recent Transfer news we have seen interest in Kucka after he impressed for Slovakia at the Euros
but he is a vital part of the Leverkusen setup and we need to keep versatile players like him for the battle ahead.
Silva is another who is rumoured to be unhappy in Leverkusen but only one club moved for him and it wasn't to what we wanted for the player.
This afternoon has seen another club come in for Leno a offer which we will mull over before deciding but again he is a young player with a lot of potential in a position which is hard to fill in SM.
Very little action has happened in the transfer market this season and it is something we will look at addressing in the coming weeks, One thing is certain however the books are very healthy and we do have 120m+ to spend on the right players.
Top100 Gossip Edition 5
Sao Paulo have been forced to drop out of a move for Auckland City stopper Jacob Spoonley in the wake of recent crowd troubles. Nick Wheel’s and his team have been placed under a transfer ban as part of a package of punishments and sanctions by the Top100 FA. It’s thought that Nick’s appearance at the FA hearing made matters worse as he threatened the panel of investigators that they were on a knife’s edge if they carried out the proposed punishment, then proceeded to tell the lead investigator to fork off.
Stuttgart are on the lookout for 2 new players, a defensive midfielder and a new goalkeeper. Unfortunately due to overspending at the Porsche and Mercedes garages using the clubs transfer kitty, Feargal can only now afford one of them. It remains to be seen which will take priority.
Foster Sels is the rumour coming out of Liege, with talk of star goalkeeper Matz Sels being linked with a host of clubs including Club Brugge, Hamburger, AC Milan, Sevilla, Twente and the afore mentioned Stuttgart. At present only Stuttgart have made a concrete offer of a 2 for 1, with Foster thought to be on the fence about accepting the excellent bid. Massimo Bruno is also thought to be close to leaving after an offer from Aston Villa. A player plus cash deal has been mooted for the young versatile Belgian prodigy. Jorge Rojas, Matthew Leckie, Lukas Hinterseer and Luciano Acosta are also thought to be available for transfer.
Alongside Rahul’s public appeal to Foster and Massimo Bruno, Villa have also expressed an interest in bring Marten De Roon to Birmingham. The Atlanta midfielder would slide into the Aston Villa midfield, with Pablo Hernandez expected to make De Roon by leaving. Terrible.
Superstar striker Gonzalo Higuaín could be on the move from Napoli. His impending rise following a real life move to Juventus has had a negative effect on the rest of the squad and Gli Azzuri chief Rob Ryan is seeking more balance to his side. Expect plenty of offers to be forthcoming from sides such as the Manchester clubs, Wolfsburg, Bayern Munich and Italian rivals Juventus.
Spurs midfielder Mesut Ozil is the subject of a transfer tug of war between English rivals Arsenal and Liverpool. 4 goals and 7 assists in 14 games could make a huge difference in both Gino Kinnear’s and Michael Bowes push for the top four.
Other transfer news at the Emirates involves a potential trade involving Olivier Giroud and wonderkid Max Meyer as Bowes looks for an AM RLC. Arsenal are really pushing to bottom out a deal. It’s shit or bust over in North London.
Right back at the bottom of the league is an ongoing issue for West Brom manager Mark Deadman, who is willing to use Jonathan Biabiany in a deal for a RB or DML 85 rated plus and younger than 27 years old. Mark is desperate for some defensive cover in an attempt to stop haemorrhaging goals as he props up the rest of Top100.
A new winger is the medicine required over at Atletico Madrid. The Doctor is keen to upgrade his final third options by offering Jackson Martinez, Raul Garcia and Nani for the right player in his bid to move up the table and stave off the relegation threat.
Greg Bilboa is looking to offload Costel Pantillimon and Vladislav Ignatyev, but with no interest in sight, it looks like Greg’s stuck paying for them to get a great Malaga tan. Bids have also been received for Taras Stepanenko and Sergi Darder, but the Malaga chief is likely to cling onto them as much as he clings onto his final few hairs on his head.
Shame in Spain for Sao Paulo
Hundreds arrested as Spoons fans rampage in Spain
Following Sao Paulo's 1-0 Youth Cup defeat to Celta Vigo last night hundreds of their infamous self styled 'Spoon Army' fans went on a orgy of destruction in the famous old Galacian city, causing 1000's of Euros of damage, with fighting going on into the early hours between groups of spoonigans & local riot police.
Sporks
The game itself was a tense affair with Celta Vigo fans reigning Sporks down on the visiting Paulo fans in the stand below. The away fans also complained of heavy handed policing inside the ground with fans being searched for weapons on entering the stadium & at half time.
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| Found on the terraces |
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| A home made spoon-knife |
Weapons Haul
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| A converted firing pistol |
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| Plans found on a Spoons fan |
Chief Inspector Valdes of the Vigo police revealed that his officers had confiscated over 200 weapons from Spoons fans, including modified knives, catapults & even firing pistols altered to fire spoons, deadly at close range.
Golden Spoons
Trouble flared when members of the Spoon Army hardcore ultras known as 'Los Chucharas' ransacked an antique shop in the City's prestigious Bouzas area, a carefully planned operation that resulted in the theft of the Golden Spoons of Paulista. These priceless spoons were bought back by the Spanish conquistadors from South America & have immense cultural significance, both in Spain & in South America.
From then onwards it was mayhem, shops, restaurants, even public toilets & kiosks were smashed, looted & set on fire.
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| Golden Spoons of Paulista |
Powerless
Although the Vigo riot police deployed water cannons & mounted police, the sheer numbers of Spoon fans meant they were powerless to contain the carnage. The Spoon Army had been drinking since noon and were heavily armed with various spoons despite the searches at the stadium. Each volley of spoons at the police riot shields found a new victim, 55 police were hospitalised, most with spoon gashes, some had been struck by ladles & one unfortunate officer had a teaspoon forcibly inserted up into his rectum.
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| Weapons recovered from Vigo streets |
President
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| Sao Paulo President's Limo after attack |
At one point the president of Sao Paulo Football Club, Mr Hugo Forks, drove into the centre square in an attempt to halt the violence. With the aid of a police megaphone he appealed for the fans to lay down their spoons & return to their hotels quietly. The President, who frequently over estimates his own popularity with his own fans was showered with spoons, mostly landing on his car, but a few caught him in the face & he had to be given emergency treatment when a caviar spoon became wedged in his medial tonsil.
Investigation
As of now all is quiet, police have made over 300 arrests & the local ambulance, fire services & scrap metal collectors are turning in after a very busy night indeed.
The local mayor has declared her outrage at the 'wanton destruction & vandalism caused by these barbaric utensil wielding fans from Brazil'. 'They may carry dessert spoons & French sauce spoons but they act like animals' she probably said.
The FA have announced an investigation but as most of the trouble occurred outside the stadium & after the match had ended there may be little it can do.
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| A spoon today |
Who are the Spoon Army?
The Spoon Army were formed in the late 1980's in response to attacks by gangs of Botafogo fans known as 'The Chisels' as they carried & often hurled chisels in their attacks. In one particularly violent encounter in 1988 Botafogo & Gremio fans (known as The Steam Irons' due to their use of these as weapons) joined forces to chisel & steam the Sao Paulo fans & many were injured that day. |
| 'Terrifying' Spoon Army |
It was after that incident that the spoon in it's many forms was adopted by the Sao Paulo Ultras & since then they have become the most feared firm in South America, even more so than the infamous Gremio 'Secateurs', the River Plate 'Plates' & of course the Racing Club 'Fish Slices'.
Sepp Blatter
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| Drugs on a spoon |
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| More drugs on a spoon |
Since then they have gone on to become the major drugs cartel in Brazil, transporting an estimated 13 million euros of drugs through the region. They own & operate a legitimate spoon factory and have even presented the visiting FIFA president Sepp Blatter with his own personalised silver spoon.
Deaths Head Spoon
Everywhere they go they are accompanied by the clatter of spoons & often when they leave the ground is festooned with them. Victims, whether opposing fans, police or even looted shops are left with the Spoon Army calling card, possibly the most feared spoon today, the Deaths Head Spoon,
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| Spoon Army calling spoon |
Outside The Box #1
Welcome to the first edition of “Outside The Box” bringing you exclusive stories from within the World of Top100 that you couldn’t make up, well maybe I could.
Breaking news from Spain where Levante boss Tom Parfitt has suffered a freak needle felting accident which resulted in his beard becoming velcroed to Lana Del Rey’s Schnauzer.
Miss Rey’s Schnauzer had to undergo an emergency Brazilian and by way of apology Tom whipped her up a soft toy from the resulting fleece.
The Dalai Lama came out this week and claimed that Real Madrids recent run of poor form was not the result of an SM vendetta against manager Roy Keane but was simply karma for all the vengeful things that he had done during his football career.
Keane was unavailable for comment as he was crop dusting Tibet with anthrax.
Meanwhile David Ike has come out claiming that Sao Paulo's league form is evidence that Nick Wheels is a high ranking member of the Alien Lizard Illuminati, a claim Ike maintains is backed up after the Mars Rover sent back a picture of a giant spoon on the planets surface.
Fenerbahce ground staff have requested that manager Broon refrain from wearing his kilt during home matches having had to replace the second dug out seat this season.
Gursimran Brar has denied reports that a Nazi cloning device found in a bunker deep within the Black Forest has been installed and re-commissioned successfully in the Allianz Arena.
Judging by this leaked photo of the latest Olympiacos target it appears that in response to criticism of his aging squad manager Alex McLean is looking to bring in some younger blood to freshen it up.
And finally after an impressive goal scoring week Hellas Verona supremo Andre Libras-Boas will do well to hold on to the in-form Pavoletti with Stephen Beddows having reportedly sacked his secretary at AC Milan following a typing error on a transfer form yesterday.
Bild catch up with Noisy on the current Leverkusen crisis.
German newspaper Bild has rated the Leverkusen season so far as 0/10 - fans are chanting for you to leave - how do you respond to such vocal and public criticism?
Well we have had a difficult start to the season in all honesty, The Manager Noisy went off to the Euros and had a few private issues to deal with so the interest in the squad has dwindled and this has certainly shown on the playing field. Is it acceptable? NO.
But we will certainly try our best to put it right in the upcoming weeks.
Will Noisy quit? Never, We will be here until we are fired.
I understand the fans concern as without the fans we are nothing.
58 games in charge in Germany now and a points return which is not even half of the T100 greats like Keane and Beddows, can you explain the lack of success?
I agree with the Keane comparision we have been slacking compared to Roy and his Galaticos, but as for Beddows...
pffft We all know full well he is a specialist in failure, firstly with Zenit where he was performing below standard in Division 2, Suddenly gets offered the Milan job in Division 1 and does a fantastic job at getting them relegated.
You were a cult hero at Fenerbache... you won the league and the people of Istanbul only as recent as last week when celebrating defeating the Coup were chanting your name in Taksim Square - where do you stand (as a former Turkish resident) on the whole Coup thing? Fan of Erdogan or not?
I don't like to get involved in political matters as everyone has a different opinion and most think that theirs is the only opinion.
They're all corrupt each and every one of them.
But to answer the question NO, I am not a fan or Erdogan or of Turkey joining the EU not that matters to me much anymore.
Obviously most of your players have been about as useful as a grave robber in a crematorium this season - but are their any that have given you the slightest hope for saving your skin?
I have faith in this group of players that they will indeed turn around the results and move Leverkusen up the table.
We will gamble in the upcoming weeks by playing a few more youths who seem to be having more success in the current Youth Cup.
Of the other managers down there in Division One are there any with a future more bleak than your own? Any justification as to why?
Yes, of course. I was surprised to see someone below us in the table in Manchester City a side who well should be well and truly away from the relegation zone.
It's good to know that despite how bad we have been their is a shitter manager still in the division.
It's a case of Blue Moon Sinking rather than Blue Moon Rising!!!
And finally how have your Youth team coped with Beddows nemesis ÇALHANOĞLU?
Well it was a difficult start as Hakan was a vital member in the Youth Cup and we started with a draw and defeat but we have finally found our feet to lead the group and look destined for the knockouts.
Brandt has now taken over from Hakan as the midfield leader and who knows where the talented bunch can go, they are putting the first team to shame that is for sure.
Davy Van der Sar and The Brugge Project
A story about the season and the squad so far at Bruges . From the first moment we get Bruges in our hands, we try to grow step by step . Finding the young talents in Belgium, or the unknown stars who still had to be discovered. Our goal this season was trying to get a season without any problems, so a decent spot between place 8 and 12 . Not a problem normally with the quality in our squad. After 15 matches , we are in the top 6 , even a few weeks back on the top of the division, together with Standard and Anderlecht. Belgium Up !
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| Davy celebrating another Brugge victory with Mrs Davy in the far distance |
The team then. Though the manager was not really convinced about the number 1 Volkan Babacan ( TUR,27 ), he gives him the confidence he needed , with 2 young talents after him with Sondre Rossbach (NOR,20) , and Davy Roef ( BEL,22 ) (who will be expected to be soon at the heels of Volkan
In right defence we have a player that a lot of managers want in their team, Thomas Meunier ( Thomas just told me he just wants to stay at the Venice of Belgium, till we have a decent replacement ) , and there is a lot to be expected from Dutch young star Timo Letschert , who will be excepted to send Guillaume Gillet to the exit . For the replacing of Thomas we try to negotiate with the Ajax Manager to sign Ricardo Van Rhijn, but at the moment it is still “a no go” from the Dutch Manager. In the Central of the defence we are quite good for the next years , although some opportunities we will never let go. For the moment we have Bjorn Engels ( BEL, 21 ), Stefano Denswil (NET,23 ), Jakub Brabec (CZE,23 ) who are fighting for the 2 spots. In the Youth team we expect a lot of Matthias Bossaerts ( BEL,20 ) and Karim Essikal ( MAR,20 ). On the left defence there is a untouchable Luca Antonelli ( ITA,29 ) with Lorenzo Melgarejo ( PAR,25 ) as a replacement. And for the future we hope on the further developing of Dario Van den Buijs ( BEL,20)
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| Thomas Munier |
Our midfield is our strongest and our weakest spot from the team . Our captain Sven Kums ( BEL,28 ) the most importing player, followed by box-t-box player Ruud Vormer ( NED,28 ) and rising star Hans Vanaken ( BEL,23 ) . The rest of the players are on this moment all very talented , but too weak to compete in 5th division. Rob Schoofs ( BEL,22 ), Lucas Schoofs ( BEL,19 ), Bryan Heynen ( BEL,19 ), Joher Khadim Rassoul ( SEN,20 ), Sander Coopman ( BEL,21 ), Ismail H’Maidat ( MAR,21 ), so we are good for the future, but need some quality injection for the rest of the season in case of injury or suspending .
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| Ruud Vormer - Top Player - Davy's favourite and a Iceman look alike |
On the attacking wings in the A-squad are running experienced people like Arouna Kone ( ICO,32 ) , Lior Refaelov ( ISR,30 ), Matthieu Dossevi ( CON,28 ) as big talents like Jose Izquierdo ( COL,24 ) and Felipe Gedoz ( BRA,23 ) . In Youth only big talented guys like Ramadan Sobhi ( EGY,19 ) ,Dodi Lukebakio ( BEL,18 ) and Leandro Trossard ( BEL,21 ).
In attack will disappear some players to the transferlist, because strikers ( only 13 ) enough in the squad. Most of the time it’s Jelle Vossen ( BEL,27 and ranking 3th in scoring list ) who is standing in point of the attack, or Abdoulaye Diaby ( MAL,25 ) , with as a replacement Nicola Castillo ( CHI,23 ) and Mbwana Samatta ( TAN,23 ) and Andraz Sporar ( SLO,22 ) who came both of Hellas Verona. Biggest names in youth are Moses Simon ( NIG,21 ) and Moraes Wesley ( BRA,19 ).
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| Jelle Vossen - Mrs Davy's favourite |
So still on the transfer market looking for 2 midfielders and the team is good for a couple of seasons . Let’s hope the chairman will keep faith in the guy who adores the team he is managing!
HOWEVER: Some Division 5 managers are claiming that this Belgian dominance is nothing more than an example of corruption.
Tom Parfitt said: "If those three sides work together they have the power to defeat everyone else and its just not fair. I'm not having it I tell you..." It is not 100% clear whether Parfitt's lastest outburst is related to his jealously of Princess Marshmellow...
Ruts said: "I am not prepapred to miss out on promotion again due to a triumvirate of mangers manipulating the results. It is not on. I am contacting Frank to break up this racket!
Ryan Chisholm said: "Its is kinda ironic that the 3 teams within a 5 mile radius of each other are dominating a division. A Prince, A bloody Mascot and an alcolholic... Nah something is not right here. Celta should be top of the Division... we should be 10 points clear such is the quality of my management.
Gav Harmer said: "If I get sacked for the 2nd season in the row they I know that I will need to blame those 3 Belgian clubs who have manipulated everyone to ensure they are all 1,2,3...
By Davy Vandendriessche
SM T100 meets Mark Hewitt
MARK HEWITT HAS ALWAYS BEEN A MAN WHO HAS DIVIDED OPINION. A MAN LOVED BY VERY FEW AND HATED BY ALMOST EVERYONE, YET A MANAGER WHO HAS ACHIEVED UNRIVALLED SUCCESS IN THE GAME AND HE EARNT HIS JOB IN T100 ON THE BACK OF THIS AMAZING RECORD BUT HOW IS HIS GETTING ON IN THIS GAMEWORLD, WELL WE SENT OUR SPECIAL REPORTER SUSAN BOYLE TO FIND OUT AS SHE FLEW TO MONTPELIER TO MEET HIM.
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| Susan was very excited about meeting Mark |
SUSAN: Evening Mark thanks for inviting me to your villa. Nice place this? Did it come with the job? Or are you renting it so as and when you'll be able to up sticks?
MARK: You should have seen the place they offered me when i first arrived. A tramp wouldn't have lived there i can assure you, although some managers would have taken it as they would have thought it was luxury in comparison.
No i have to supplement this place with my own money but the thing that made me want to live here was the Greek water feature over in the corner....yes the one with the water coming out of the guy's willy.....made me laugh as it reminded me Prince Michael....small with little effect or purpose.
SUSAN: So Mark You've been at the club since Jan 2016 how is the French lingo coming along? Or have you not bothered to learn?
MARK: Well when i got offered the job i must admit i had my reservations. I didnt really want to try something new but the owners (Franco) were very persuasive and sold me the club. But i did learn a few phrases
"baise bien pourquoi suis-je ici" is one i say alot
"etaient puis-je acheter de l'alcool pas cher" is another frequent saying to my local shop owner
and i have got very lonely whilst i have been here as my wife stayed 6 weeks and then decided it was a 'shit hole' so my new phase is "combien pour un coup d'empoli" which for those that dont know is
"how much for a blow job"
Boyle: how much is a blow job here?
Mark - i dont know how much do you charge????????
Susan: 'Moving on' Rob Ryan was massively more successful than you both on and off the field winning promotion in Season 1... since then Montpelier under you have become a side fighting relegation do you consider your tenure her as a failure?
Mark: Do you consider that answer fair? I certainly don't see that as a fair comparison. This Ryan bloke got promotion, WELL DONE. Then what did he do....ran off like a big fairy and didn't stick around to see if his balls were big enough to fit the sack.
The first season I was here I had an ageing side with little or no major talent.
I've still got an ageing side and very little talent but they aren't fighting relegation like you tipped me to be doing this season. We're mid table and right in the mix son. We're 3 points of 2nd...........but 3 points of 18th so tough league.
Its a long project and i am here to try and make a difference...which may i add is difficult when other managers wont loan you players cause "they want them for the youth cup each week so you will have to send them back"
...SOD OFF is what I said to "them managers" i want to give them game time, play a full season whilst you use them in a tournament that 1) is made up in fairy land 2) doesn't do anything for the players morale at all......yeah thats a dig at you Roy Keane. Marcus Rashford could have been playing weekly instead of sitting on you bench, 1 game and Who the hell names themselves after that pleb....unless of course that's your name and then UNLUCKY.
SUSAN: This season, season 3 - high points and low points?
MARK: This interview and this interview
The high point will be proving you wrong at the end of the season but that is a future image i have.
SUSAN: What is your relationship like with the other French managers? Gary Naylor, Dave T and those others?
I have no relationship with the other French managers. Its the first time i have heard their names so shows what impact they have made with me. I am an experienced manager with hundreds of cups, titles etc under my belt and I've learnt that there are only a few people i actually like or get on with and i want to keep it that way.
No point being nice to people cause their dicks when they want to be.....Look at that Josh bloke - the Villain McMillan. Nice guy, Young, hungry but offers you nothing for your best players??????? WWWHHHYYYYYYY......
I get on well with PMW. Top, top bloke
SUSAN: Best player in the dressing room? Worst? Any immediate priorities in the squad if changes could be made?
Look my team is good. Toure is my favorite cause he makes me laugh...doing that little jig..you know the one..
"kolo, Kolo kolo, kolo, kolo, kolo kolo Toure
YAYA, YA, YA YAYA, YA, YA......
Sit down Boyle your making the house shake....
Toure is my leader which didn't go down well with 38 year old fart Hilton but then he is as old as me and so i didnt need his crap. Still here though cant shift him.
MAURI is really talented. 8 games 3 goals 1 assist and he is wanted Really wanted but he ain't gonna leave so.
I plan on building the youth. Got money to do it. All i ask is to all those managers out there. If you want a youth player 85/86 rated to play games ill play him. I will give him 75% of the game time he requires just like my mentor MR KLOPP.
Worst well i get rid of all the worst performers or those that smell. I love Cardozo as well and Defoe as they score the goals and my keeper gets bummed if he doesnt keep a clean sheet...not by me...i let the tramps have their go
Just signing another striker but I will always look to take what I can, I ain't picky.
Now it's time for my massage with Linda and kerry......if you want you can stay...kerry has brought her mate Big Bertha. ...right up your street.
Top100 Transfer Gossip Ed4
In fair Verona where we lay our scene, Levante are still wining and dining Chievo Ezequiel Ponce, however his manager Paddy D is playing hardball. Paddy is thought to have warned Ponce away from moving to Spain, advising him ‘Everyone has their fate and the more people try to avoid it, the more trouble they get into.’ In response, Parfitt has told the young Argentinian, ‘Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne’er saw true beauty till this night.’ It’s becoming a real Romeo and Juliet affair.
Parfitt is also thought to be monitoring Andy Najar of Anderlecht, although conspiracy theorists on that there interweb have postulated that ulterior motives may be at play. Is the interest real, or is Tom Parfitt merely trying to get a spy in PMW’s camp in the battle of Lana Del Ray?
Liege continue to look for a new attacking midfielder. Foster is thought to be getting more desperate than Dean Gaffney at 3am in a nightclub and could be willing to offer a combination of Massimo Bruno, Ruben Rochina, Lukas Hinterseer, Omar Mascarell, Jorge Rojas, Mubarak Wakaso and a number of youth players for the right man.
After a brief mid-season holiday (although club sources say it was a breakdown brought on by the stress of a relegation dog fight), Lyon gerante Warren Livesey is on the lookout for a striker. After a chance encounter with a fan in Rhodes, the penny dropped that he needed to score more goals. Cash is on offer, although Livesey may offer players aswell should the deal require.
Rahul’s transfer merry go round shows no sign of stopping anytime soon. Eder is likely to be exchanged for a younger defensive midfielder (N’Diaye and De Roon have been mentioned in the corridors of Villa Park), freeing up Marcelo Diaz for a move away from Birmingham. Moving on Diaz may not be easy however as his agent has secretly admitted that he’s not on a single Top100 shortlist, ‘He’s as popular as Rolf Harris at a childrens party…’ Other targets for the Bastion of Aston include Ryan Shawcross of Shakhtar Donetsk, with an offer already placed involving a Drogba–esque player and 130495828.32 Hryvnia.
Speaking of Shawcross, rumours of an existing deal with an unnamed Russian club are rife, although said manager of the club that sounds very much like Dynamite Kev, has been MIA for 5 days now, potentially nullifying any pre-agreed trade.
Fans of German Division 5 team Werder Bremen have protested outside the clubs training ground this week, begging manager Gav Harmer to sign both a striker to improve the attack, and a new goal keeper outerer to help stem the bleeding of goals. Whether Gav will move for Villa’s Eder, Liege’s Lukas Hinterseer or Manchester United’s Sergio Romero however remains to be seen.
Frank Hirst’s Genoa are thought to be on the lookout for a home grown striker. After Pavoletti’s hat trick in the World Club Cup, Hirst’s match notes has a little love heart with some scribbles in the middle. Analysts poured over the doodle to try and decipher it, and came to the unanimous assumption that it said ‘FH *hearts* LP’. Once Frank has a man in his sights, he pulls out all the stops to take him in the, sorry, to the Marassi.
Doug ‘Lean out of the Range Rover Window’ Earle has announced that Jon Ander is up for sale over at Espanyol following the arrival of fellow Spaniard Alex Remiro. Claudio Pizarro may be allowed to leave the club, however sources in France indicate interest in Yannis Salibur and Jimmy Cabot, so don’t rule out a part exchange involving grandpa Claudio. That’s only if he can make it all that way without having to stop for multiple toilet breaks.
Having lost out on one deal lately due to chairman incompetence, West Brom head honcho Mark Deadman is expected to travel to Sunderland in the next few days to personally negotiate with Wayne Bullough. A number of deals are on the table, with discussions set to take place over a nice Isaac Cofie and an Ivan Piris of cake.